>> Jimmy: HI. WE'RE BACK WITH DAVID SPADE, WHO HAS A SHOW COMING TO ABC NEXT MONTH. THE SHOW IS CALLED "THE MAYOR." ARE YOU THE MAYOR ON THE SHOW? >> I AM A MAYOR. LIKE IT STARTS OUT THAT I'M A MAYOR AND THERE'S A KID BRANDON HALL. HE'S A RAPPER. AND IN THE FIRST EPISODE HE'S JUST TRYING TO -- HE WANTS TO PROMOTE HIS MIX TAPE. IT'S SORT OF AN URBAN CITY. SO HE THINKS HE'LL RUN AND JUST TALK ABOUT HIS MIX TAPE AND PROMOTE IT. BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE MAYOR BUT HE DOES IT FOR PRESS. AND THEN BECAUSE EVERYONE RELATES TO HIM AND NOT ME THEY VOTE FOR HIM AND THEY BOOT ME OUT. >> Jimmy: OH, SO YOU ARE THE HILLARY CLINTON OF THIS SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH. SO I WAS SORT OF JUST DONE THERE. BUT THEN THEY -- SO NOW I'M LIKE THE BAD GUY. NOW HE'S TRYING TO MAKE THE CITY BETTER AND I'M THE GUY TRYING TO MAKE IT WORSE. >> Jimmy: I LIKE THAT. SO DID THAT MEAN YOU HAD TO WORK ALL SUMMER TO PREPARE THIS SHOW? >> I DID A LITTLE BIT. BUT I DON'T -- RIGHT NOW I'M SORT OF COMING IN AND OUT AND IT'S MORE THEIR SHOW. BUT IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. WE'VE DONE A FEW OF THEM. I'M THE WHITE GUY ON IT. >> Jimmy: IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU PLAYED THE WHITE GUY ON A SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WHITEY NEEDS A BREAK. >> Jimmy: THERE ARE JUST NO GOOD ROLES FOR WHITE GUYS. >> I'M OUT THERE STRUGGLING. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT I WENT -- >> Jimmy: IT WAS YOUR HAITI KARMA THAT REALLY -- >> I KNOW. I'M OLD AND WHITE AND LIKE I'M IN THE WORST SCENARIO. BUT I DID GO -- I'VE BEEN GOING TO THE DOCTOR A LOT, WHICH IS AWESOME. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE? WHY? >> JUST PROBLEMS. >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY? >> NO, NO. I REMEMBER I WAS GETTING FAT ONCE. AND YOU KNOW -- >> Jimmy: WHEN WAS THIS? >> THIS WAS A WHILE AGO. BUT I LOOK GREAT NOW. LISTEN. >> Jimmy: YOU DO. [ APPLAUSE ] >> AND I KNOW -- NO. I'M AN NOT A 10, JIMMY. I'M A 6 OR A 7. I READ THE INTERNET. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M MORE PERSONALITY DRIVEN. BUT WHEN I -- I WAS GAINING WEIGHT. I DIDN'T KNOW IT ONCE. AND WE WERE DOING "GROWN-UPS 2." OH, A COUPLE PEOPLE REMEMBER? [ APPLAUSE ] THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU -- SEND YOU TO THE DOCTOR WHEN YOU GET A PHYSICAL FOR THE MOVIE, LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER OR SOMETHING. >> Jimmy: OH, RIGHT. >> BUT THESE ARE LIKE FAKE I THOUGHT. YOU GO IN THERE AND BLAH, BLAH, YOU TELL THE GUY. SO I GO I'M HERE FOR MY PHYSICAL. ANYWAY, YOU WANT TO EYEBALL ME? ALL GOOD? AND HE GOES, SIT DOWN, LET'S GET THE TEST. I GO, YOU REALLY WANT TO DO THIS? AND HE GOES, YEAH. I'M IN THE MOVIE. >> Jimmy: YEAH, USUALLY IT'S A FORMALITY KIND OF THING. >> AND HE GOES, YEAH. HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH? I DON'T KNOW. I ALWAYS WEIGH ABOUT 145. HE GOES, MM. I GO WHAT'S THAT FACE? HE GOES, LET'S JUMP ON THE SCALE, BUD. WAIT. I GO, ADAM SANDLER'S GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] ALWAYS USE ADAM. ALWAYS. HE GOES, OH, I'M WILLING TO RISK IT. SO I GET UP ON THE SCALE, WHICH IS ONE OF THESE OLD CLANKY ONES. YOU KNOW IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE IT'S LIKE A BIG CHUNK FOR 100 POUNDS. I GO DO THESE EVEN WORK? I GO, ALL RIGHT. AND I GO GUESS WHAT? I WEIGH 145. I PUT THE BIG CHUNKER LIKE THIS. I'M GOING TO STAND UP. ON 100. AND THEN THE TOP ONE IT GOES ALONG, YOU KNOW. I PUT THAT ON 45. AND I GO, WATCH THIS. AND THEN I GO -- POP THE SHOES OFF, OF COURSE. AND I GO -- AND I GET UP. AND IT GOES CHANG! AND I GO -- SORT OF SCARED EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE. [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN HE GOES, STEP OFF. AND I GO -- WHAT'S WITH THIS THING OF COURSE. THEN HE PUTS THE BIG CHUNK TO 150. KADIJ. NO, NO. HE PUTS THE OTHER ONE TO ZERO. HE'S LIKE TRY AGAIN. I GET A FEW QUARTERS OUT. SOCKS COME OFF. THEN I GET ON. AND THE HUMILIATING KA-KA-KA-KA. KA-KA-KA-KA -- ARM HURTS, YOU KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] THEN AT THE END IT GOES -- I GO, OKAY, OKAY. YEAH. I HAD GAINED 20 POUNDS. 165. DID NOT KNOW IT. I HIDE IT. [ LAUGHTER ] I DID NOT KNOW IT. IT AND IT'S NOT LIKE GIRLS, GAIN IT IN THEIR BOOBS. I DID NOT GAIN IT IN MY WIENER. [ LAUGHTER ] AND IF THAT HAPPENED WITH GUYS THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT. I'D BE GOING TO TACO BELL, GOING CIRCLES IN THE DRIVE-THRU. I SEE CHRIS ROCK ON THE SET. AND I GO, CAN YOU BELIEVE I GAINED 20 POUNDS? HE GOES, "YEAH." [ LAUGHTER ] WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE GOES, "SPADE, YOU WERE GETTING IN A VAL KILMER AREA." WHEN HE'S ON THE BEACH? HE GOES, MM-HMM. PEOPLE ARE WHISPERING. SO I THINK IT'S JUST A -- >> Jimmy: IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE THAT. >> HE'S A GREAT GUY. REALLY GIVES IT TO ME. >> Jimmy: AFTER IT'S HAPPENED. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. >> AND THEN I'M LUMPY ON "GROWN-UPS." BECAUSE WE DON'T WORK OUT. I'M NOT LIKE THE ROCK GETTING UP AT 3:00 A.M. TO WORK OUT EVERY DAY. >> Jimmy: I DISAGREE. I THINK YOU ARE A LOT LIKE -- >> WELL, NOW I AM. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOUR BODY IS IRRESISTIBLE. IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. THE SHOW IS CALLED "THE MAYOR." IT PREMIERES OCTOBER 3rd. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND YOU CAN SEE DAVID LIVE WITH
