- This is impossible.
Can't we just hire them both? - No.
We've been through this. We've only got the budget
for one dancer. - Yeah, but they're both
so great. I can't decide
between them. - Well, that's our job. That's
what Chippendales pays us for. - I know, but these guys have
been through hell: a five-hour audition,
three callbacks. - Well, look, if you want to
give up your salary so Chippendales can hire both
these guys, that's fine with me. - Okay, okay.
- No, no. - Okay.
Marcy, bring 'em in. - This is the part of the job
that I hate. [laughter] - Adrian, Barney. [sighs] Listen, before we start,
I just want to say once again that either one of you would
make a fine addition to the Chippendale family. I know you've been put through
a long, long audition and it's been hard. But I think that in itself
is a testament to how good
both of you are and just how difficult
our choice is. I wish I could just flip a coin
and be done with it, but we can't. We're Chippendales. Marcy, music. [ Loverboy's
"Working For The Weekend"] - [singing]
Everyone's watching To see what you will do Everyone's looking at you Oh Everyone's wondering Will you come out tonight Everyone's trying
to get it right Get it right Everybody's working
for the weekend Everybody wants a little romance Everybody's
goin' off the deep end Everybody needs a second chance Oh You want a piece of my heart You better start from start You wanna be in the show Come on baby lets go [music continues] [cheers and applause] - Thank you,
Adrian, Barney. If you could just give us a
minute, we'll have our decision. [laughter] - Oh! - Oh, Adrian, you were great
out there, man. I know
it's gonna be you. - Oh, what are you talking
about, Barney? You got it,
and you know it. - Whatever--whatever happens,
you're the best. - Buddies? - Buddies. - They're ready
for you, guys. - Adrian, Barney, well, we've made
our decision. But before we tell you,
I just want to say once again how truly difficult it was
for us to make our choice, and to thank you
for your patience throughout this long,
arduous audition. - Thanks. - Thanks. - We're gonna
go with Adrian. - I knew it, man. - [cries] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just never wanted anything
so much in my life, you know. And now that
I've got it, I just can't
deal with it. - Well, that's okay, Adrian,
we understand. Barney, we all agreed
that your dancing was great. Your presentation was
very sexy. I guess--
I guess, in the end, we all thought that Adrian's body was just
much, much better than yours. - Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Okay. - You see, it's just that,
at Chippendales, our dancers have traditionally
had that lean, muscular, healthy physique,
like Adrian's. Whereas yours is,
well... fat and flabby. - Right, right. - [groans]
- Oh, no. - No, Barney.
No, no. No, Barney, we've--
we've made our decision. - Excuse me, can I--can I--
can I make a point? - Sure. - I just want to say that this guy, he is
one hell of a dancer, you know? And he has got the sexiest moves
I have ever seen. And if you're really serious
about going with me, you know, it can only be
because his body is so bad. - Thanks, man.
- Sure. You know, because on straight
dancing and presentation, ain't no way
I'm better than him! - Amen. Amen. You see, Barney, we considered
the possibility that our heavier female customers
might actually prefer a heavy, heavier man that they could
identify with, but then we decided... - [thinking]
Even as I stood there listening to them explain
why they had chosen me, I still
couldn't believe it. Ever since
I could remember, I had dreamed of becoming
a Chippendales dancer and now I was one. I never saw Barney
again, but I'll never forget him
and how, for one brief moment,
he brought out the best in me. That was
the time of my life. - [singing]
I've had the time of my life And I've searched through
every open door
Chris Rock had the best take on this awful sketch: "'Chippendales' was a weird sketch. I always hated it...The joke of it is, basically, 'We can't hire you because you're fat.' There's no comic twist to it. It's just fucking mean. Chris wanted so much to be liked. As funny as that sketch was...it's one of the things that killed him." I believe Bob Odenkirk call it 'a fat person minstrel show'.
Adam Sandler did a tribute to Farley in his new special. It was really touching.
The one thing that always impressed me about Chris Farley was how limber and flexible he was. That guy moved like he weighed 100 pounds. Patrick Swayze was raised by a choreographer and a dancer and became a professionally trained dancer himself, and still, Farley managed to not only keep up with him, but, in my opinion, actually out-dance him at points in this bit. He was one of a kind, and one of the greatest SNL cast members of all time.