Charlotte Gambill - Mending Fences pt1

[Music] hey welcome to Life Church I'm Steve Campbell I'm the lead pastor this is going to be a great time we shared together because of how great God is come on let's get this started Psalm 133 says this how wonderful how beautiful when brothers and sisters get along and all the parents said exactly because in the natural we understand that when brothers and sisters get along life is so much better stress is not at back to ten we don't have to sit and grit our teeth through a family dinner when when people are getting along the edge and the atmosphere shifts it is different and so I'm gonna be really honest with you and disclose information that I have no previous permission to share and that is that's true who Muslim says and that is that last night our family were highly dysfunctional we decided to you know I've only been home a few days so we decided you know this is mom's first Saturday home in three weeks so you know what everybody put your PJs on because that's my favorite item of clothing to wear anyone else give me an amen on that I mean why can't we just do life in PJs I just don't understand but anyway so we all poppy jizz on I'll get the chocolates out I'll lay the table and we're gonna play a game right good idea right bring the family together right bong bong we start playing the game we haven't even got we're even started we're just discussing starting and already the tension is in the atmosphere I'm like everybody chill out and then it begins it's just ah that's not the rules that's not the rules yes it is the rules I've read the rules you haven't even read the rules and it begins and you know I'm thinking it's gonna pass it's just a passing comments got but this stone was not gonna pass it has come to settle down on the table over where we're playing the game and so the atmosphere began to get more then I guess because I was jet-lagged and I had no voice I couldn't be bothered joining it so I just sat back an observed dysfunction before my eyes I was like where did the happy spirit go now we've got Steve my husband in meltdown mode he was the first one to throw a tantrum I'm sorry babe to throw you under the bus but you were you were an and at one point like Bernie five minutes into the game he got up from the table he goes I I'm not doing this anymore I was like wait a minute whoa you're the oldest at the table this is not what we're supposed to be doing this is not the example we're supposed to be setting so as wife I spoke a quiet word maybe you should rethink that last decision you just made and come back to the table and clearly as he was embarrassed about his reaction in the moment realizing the kids had watched him witnessed he said I was just going to the toilet two seconds later he walked back in and hope goes no one could go to the bathroom that fast and then Noah starts melting down over his trains and be moved on the track and no one's hunting in the right cards and hope decides to do what teenage sisters do to their younger brothers which was sigh heavily at the appropriate moment to wind him up even more roll her eyes and go he always gets away with it and there we were in to level three of the gamble meltdown about that time I received a text on my phone from my friends who have not seen me for three weeks saying hey we're just thinking of popping over and I went back and going hey it's good we'll see you tomorrow because I don't need anyone else to be added to our dysfunction I was protecting them from entering the Gamble's our meltdown we all have those moments we all experience what it's like to have that bad atmosphere in the house to have that vibe the house to have that unspoken sometimes fire that's going off in the house but no one wants to deal with it and no one wants to mention it I want to help you over the next two weeks with something that is so God's heart for you he does not want you to live in stress where there can be peace and he does not want you to live in a place where you're always putting out fires he wants you to understand there is a way forward there is a way to find unity in family there is a way for your marriage to be better than it currently is there is a way for you and your kids to actually not hate each other but learn to love each other again there is a way I know you may feel there is no way but there is a way and that's why the Bible is saying how wonderful how beautiful it is when we learn to get along because that's where God commands blessing and ordains eternal life there's a scripture in Ephesians where we're going to focus probably today and probably next week I've been in the scripture for the last few weeks as I've been preaching and teaching and so it's very fresh to me and very alive in me it's in Ephesians 4 and I'm gonna use the message version because it says it's so well but I even loved the subheading of what we're about to read because the subheading is this to be mature do you know God once is all to grow up he does years ago now I preached a message called the Peter Pan syndrome maybe I should read dig the message back up I've been looking over some old preaching notes this week because of a project I'm working on I was like that was a good message and the message was borne out of the scene in Peter Pan that I was watching with my kids the Disney film and in the Disney film there's a scene where Wendy who's at a certain age she's playing with the kids and the dog has knocked something over and the father comes in to the nursery and looks at Wendy and says this is your last night in the nursery tomorrow you will grow up and the next scene that follows that in the film is that Peter Pan flies through the window and says don't listen to him come with me to Neverland well you never have to grow up and you know in life that's exactly how the enemy works God's like you know what you beyond the nursery you can actually get better at that you can forgive quicker you know what you actually can change that about you that immaturity in you you actually can get rid of it you actually can move and progress and graduate from nursery conversations and nursery falling out a nursery bickering you actually it's time it's way jus past time for you to leave the nursery and grow up in this area but the enemy goes ah don't listen to that stay in Neverland where you never say sorry where you never admit you're wrong where you never change your attitude where you never actually say I need help stay in Neverland stay eternally immature but in the church we need to know that God wants these kids to be mature not boring not boring there's a difference maturity doesn't equal boredom have you ever been to a theme park if you go to a theme park all the scariest funnest rides are reserved for those that are taller you have to grow up to graduate onto the best rides it's the same in God it's like I think we think that well if I get mature I will have fun anymore or a laugh anymore or you know my life will look dull no no no no no with God he goes oh you got a little taller in your maturity you know what now you're ready for a big ride now you're ready for a bigger adventure now you ready for more responsibilities now you ready for a breakthrough but if you can't get over your about attitude gods like you're not ready to handle what I want to give you you can't grow up to measure up to get on this right because this ride requires something from you that the other one didn't there's a different a turn in this ride that's gonna need you to have a maturity to handle it that if you can't handle the log flumes you're not going to handle this leave the loop so God wants us to mature nothing worse than seeing someone that is way past diapers or nappies as we say over here we're past nappies but they're still as adults walking around with that it's like no no you should be well past nappy stage you should be well past people having to clean up your mess you should be able to deal with that all by yourself gonna have to get mature you should be well past me spoon feeding you you should be feeding yourself you should be well past needing someone to tell you what you already know we should be well past it God's like hey I need you to be mature so this is what the verse says and we'll just get through whatever we can get through and we'll do the rest next week but it says to be mature here's what we have to do so in light of all this here's what I want you to do I want you to get out there and walk better yet run on the road God called you to travel let's just make sure we make that sentence read right on the road God called you to travel not you decided to travel not your friends told you to travel not while your ego wants to travel but get on the road that God wants you to travel see sometimes maturity looks like dying to what you want to do and saying yes to what God needs you to do sometimes maturity looks like going but God but God I want to go here there and everywhere and God's like yeah but there's a season where I need to do something in you and that means you have to be there I need you there so it doesn't say maturity comes by going on the road you just suddenly decide you want to go on but it's saying God what is it that you need me to do you know I said when we were away we dare to be I just fell in one service in particular I was like some of you are praying to be missionaries and you want to be sent somewhere else but the Word of God to you is Ian sending you anywhere else because you're a mother of four small children I need to go home and be with her about the job that you've already stood her but sometimes we just want to escape and then we put God on our escape plan no guys doesn't know what I've called you to travel I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands everybody stay on your hands for a minute all of a sudden you're restricted you can't give you can't serve you can't embrace you can't encourage you can't lay a hand on someone to pray from because your hands are now tied now release your hands this is how God wants you to live hands available hands willing hands wanting to serve hands wanting to put in the pocket and help someone out hands that want to reach that want to pray but spiritually we can often come even to church and sit on our hands no it's not my job it's not my responsibility well it's not my thing you know what I was talking to the team this week and this is just not what I'm preaching but it's a signal and the team was saying some of the areas in church we are dying because we don't have enough volunteers like the team are literally they need a break like they hear all hours God sends because the weight of the responsibility in their areas resting on their hands and I was like we have a lot of hands in church we need some people to stop sitting on their hands and just go this is my house you don't get away with that home not in my house if you're in my house and you eat my food and you live under my roof you're gonna hear me go oi that's not my plate it's yours put it in the dishwasher hey go get the vacuum and Hoover what you just spilt why because this is our house and that's your responsibility and you've got a pair of hands just like me I can't do it all why do we think it's any different in God's house sometimes you need to think oh that's my plate I should probably put it away hey those are my kids that they watch every week what can I do to bless someone else that's how the church works so this is just good instruction for us to grow up don't any of you sitting around on your hands I don't want anyone strolling off down some path that goes nowhere I love the Bible a mark that you do this with humility and the plan not in fits and starts don't play hokey cokey with the church or with your marriage or with your parenting in one day out the next that's not gonna build something mature so here we go here's what we're gonna just concentrate for the next few minutes but steadily pouring yourself out for each other in acts of love alert at noticing differences and quick everybody say quick and quick at mending fences alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences have you ever had a cup of tea or a cup of coffee and it just didn't taste right and you're like this doesn't taste right and so you take another drink and you're like well it definitely doesn't taste right by time you're three drinks in your life I need to go investigate so you go back to the kitchen and maybe if you have a coffee machine you check that the pop things right and has it been cleaned or maybe you check what tea bag they used but none of that seems to be an error and then finally you get to the last part of the jigsaw the fridge and you open the fridge and you get out the milk and you smell the milk and you're like oh now you know why the coffee didn't taste right or tea because the milk is off do you know God's plan is not that you keep swallowing off tea and off coffee but you live a life that sniffs the milk before adds it to the drink God's plan is that you know when the milk is off before you give the milk to your kids or to your friends or to anyone else and that means if we're gonna know that the milk is off we're gonna have to get better at being alert at noticing differences if it walked in a room you're like something is off something is off you ever just come in on a conversation in an office and you're like something just went down in here and I don't know what it was but something is off we ever like come into the friend's house and they're in the kitchen and you just look funny and you're like buck it out because clearly something is off we all know talking about right the Bible is full of wisdom the Bible makes so much sense it's saying hey guys let's get better at noticing when something's off because if you'll notice it's off then you can fix it before it goes any further if you notice it off then you can actually say you know what I need to either replace that or fix that because there's a difference here there's a awfulness here that's gonna affect everything else that it touches and then it goes on to say and be quick at mending fences you know the enemy doesn't have many tricks up his sleeve and one of the ways that he actually does more damage in people's lives is simply by putting holes in our fences just the little thing that he just puts between you and that person the little thing it puts between you and God the little thing that he puts between you and your partner that little offense that little comment he'll just look to put a hole in your fence because he knows he can do so much damage with one hole in your fence a little while ago we had a rabbit on our lawn no big deal right I mean the kids like you let's take a cow out leave it on the lawn for the rabbit let's name the rabbit and my husband was like us not good because we have a fence around our property and that rabbit shouldn't have been able to get on our lawn but life gets busy and it's just a rabbit and it was Q a no big deal and so you just forget about the rabbit but rabbits have friends and they have a lot of friends so our leaving it meant that the rabbit decided well no one's bothered about me so I'm sure that what we bothered if I have a party at the Gambrills long and invited all his friends over and now we've gone from one rabbit to 20 30 rabbits that are coming in our garden I'm pooping all over our lawn and eating our plants and now cute mr. rabbit is not so cute anymore now he's an eye there is a pest now he's peeing on my life now I don't need to go pick up your poop mr. rabbit I already have a dog that's bad enough but it was just a hole in the fence that we left our neighbor had a hole in their fence and they left there's two only for them he wasn't as innocent as ours for them a fox came in and that Fox ate all their chickens and they were devastated see the enemy just wants to know if you're going to touch the whole honor and if you leave the hole if you leave that bit of gap between you and your partner that gap between you and the church that gap between something that hurt you but you never got it fixed if you leave it he'll start with a rabbit but he'll try and get a fox through eventually and what should have been fixed now is devastated destroy that I've seen people eat church for years because of a hole in the fence that they just never fixed and now foxes are in there and it's a nightmare scenario and it's like it didn't have to go that way and I know if they have this microphone they'd say the same to you it doesn't have to be that way but get wise get alert at noticing I'm upset get alert at noticing something's off get alert at saying I think I need to seek forgiveness or ask for help and then your fence can be mended we need to be better at mending fences everybody repeat after me I'm sorry everybody I'm sorry see it's not that hard is it your leg didn't fall off your head didn't fall off by saying those words but some of you it's like the highlight maneuver it gets stuck in your throat can't get it out it's like we need to like body joke you to get the word out some of you teenagers in here hello I'm sorry is not something that is gonna hurt your street cred it's gonna make you look more like Christ wants you to look everybody in here say I was wrong everybody I was wrong see your other leg didn't fall off you're still alive why have we made these things so massive because the enemy has sold you alive that by being sorry or forgiving or saying you're wrong somehow your life will be less than when the truth is exactly the opposite your life will be better it will be more peaceful it will be less stressful and we have to understand that we all have walls in our life that we're building in our relationships in our friendships in our community in the church in our businesses we're all building something and we need to be mindful of the holes in the wall and be quick quick the bible says quick that means if it happened on Friday and it's now Sunday that's not quick because what you leave on Friday and it gets to Saturday and now it's Sunday and then what's the point it's Monday and then you know it's too far gone it's Tuesday nah when it happens on Friday you go I need to fix on Friday what got broke on Friday so that I can have peace on Saturday hello I don't know how you argue in your marriage I don't know if you have a silent type in your relationship I don't know if you're moody britches I don't know which way you go I don't know if you you know flames of fire come out your mouth I don't know which way you are we're all different when we feel like I have something to say and it needs to be said or I need to punish that person with my stubborn silent mood for three weeks and we all laugh but in those three weeks it's miserable and I'm just trying to pass easy tango it don't have to be believe you me it doesn't have to be I have 51 seconds left banjee better get up here I'm just gonna give you one thing to do and then next week we're gonna talk about how we mend it okay but here's what I felt the Holy Spirit instruct me to do this morning and I think the spirit guard is gonna be in this if you let him next week we're gonna look at how we begin to fix that fence but here's why I've not jumped there today which is what I planted it was a guy in the Bible called Nehemiah Nehemiah was really bothered because all the walls of the city of Jerusalem were in disrepair he looked at what used to be this incredible wall and it was just in rubble and it was in ruin and it bothered Nehemiah he was like these need to be fixed now Nehemiah didn't want to fix the walls cuz he just wanted nice walls Nehemiah realized when those walls were built the people of God used to gather when those walls were built they used to pray and worship together when those walls were built the Word of God was read and now that the walls are broken people have gone off to do their own thing they've wandered down their home road so he knew by rebuilding walls it would bring back unity that was his whole endgame but before he could begin to fix the walls he did something Nehemiah 2 verse 13 says that Nehemiah now knowing I need to fix the fence he did something which is what I'm asking to be your homework when you leave here this is step 4 he says before we got everybody involved before we began telling everyone he went out it was night when he went out and he says name I went out to examine the walls and examine the places in which they've been broken down and I believe a homework assignment from God for you is to leave here today and say God help me have the courage to examine the walls see some of you are ignoring the fence and living with the rabbit but a fox will follow unless you're willing to examine you all some of you are depressed and down and grumpy and just not yourself and you just you've just decided this just what it's like right now and I want to say to you about a spirit gardener it's a hole in the fence that just needs fixing that's all and God's well able to help you fix it but you can't fix what you won't admit you can't start to rebuild what you are not even identifying is broken and they are my anew I ever a wall to fix and I need to go and examine where the break is the some parts that are good but the some parts that are not that's where I need to work this some pass the wall are intact but there's others that there's just rubble there so he when with a notepad and he went to write down where the breaches were where the holes in the wall ah and sometimes we're really good at doing a lot of stuff that really is not helping the stuff that needs helping I don't know about you but I have holes in the fence and pretend it's no big deal I want that blessing inside 133 that blessing that God bestows when we get along that God bestows when we find a unity I won't laugh in my marriage and in my family and I'm willing to do the work to fix the hole in the fence if that means sorry it's sorry if that means patience is patience if that means saying okay this is where we got to focus then that's what we're gonna focus I don't think it's God's plan that you have to live with that dysfunction I think it's God's plan that you go there's a hole in the wall could you help me and God will help you but you have to first identify where the hole is maybe there's a hole offense because he a temper maybe the whole offense because of his stubbornness maybe the whole events cuz of a sin area fix the fence fix the fence I want to say to you young people young adults I don't know what's happened or where you feel maybe your parents let you down but even if you feel someone's failed you you can fix your fence you can act differently you can speak differently you can pray differently you can fix your fat side you might have had a terrible upbringing but you don't have to do have that fully kids you're bringing up but in order to make sure we don't repeat we have to go around the walls and be willing to examine them [Music] okay thank you so much for watching as we finish our time together we pray that he has impacted your heart God is with you so go on have a great week ahead [Music]

Channel: LIFE Church

Views: 5,034

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Keywords: life church, uk, abundant life church, charlotte gambill, steve gambill, paul scanlon, dave niblock, mike harvie, jock james, matt hooper, life worship, dance again, wide open space, we believe, burn, love let loose, cherish conference, first direct arena, rocknations youth conference, xcel mens conference, lead, dare to be, miracle in the middle

Id: Z4Xiw1ZpNK4

Length: 27min 25sec (1645 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 13 2018