Charisma 101: How to Be More CHARISMATIC

so you know that person who without even trying seems to become the center of attention everywhere they go everyone's drawn to them laughing at their stories laughing at their jokes hanging on to every word they say they just have a magnetic pull to their personality that you can't quite put your finger on but that's Charisma and it's defined as compelling attractiveness or Charm that can Inspire devotion in others or in simple terms it's the special spark or vibe that draws people toward you but here's the thing it's not some magical talent that only a few are born with it's actually a combination of skills that you can learn and practice so in this video I'm going to go over some of the basics of Charisma and how you can become more charismatic number one presence and awareness Russell Brand who is very charismatic himself said that Charisma is about being present in the moment without self-reflection and I agree in order to be charismatic you have to first get your mind right anxiety self-consciousness and fear Cloud your charisma by trapping you in your own mind it's important to keep in mind that people feel what you're thinking about yourself so you have to reframe your internal narrative first if it's out of alignment with what you were trying to project now the way to do this is by challenging the story that you tell yourself when I'm anxious about meeting new people I just remind myself to just be myself treat the other people well and just let things flow from there there's a lot of things I can't control so I try to let those things go telling your mind The Logical facts of the situation and letting go of what you can't control can set your mind at ease also keep in mind that the most charismatic people still have their off moments everyone has awkward silences sometimes or a goofy comment that they regret later on but in the grand scheme of things those things don't matter we always tend to magnify our own slip UPS more than others do it's also helpful to create a routine to boost your mindset by utilizing things like music imagery and facial expressions personally for me music can completely transform my mood and I have specific songs I'll listen to before going out with friends or on a date because they put me in an upbeat and confident mood that is ready to socialize with imagery I once saw a tank technique online where someone described closing her eyes and imagining laying on a white sandy beach with a warm sun beaming down on your skin just the image alone and the feeling of that warmth from the Sun in your mind can boost your mood and Focus changing your facial expression can be equally powerful we often think that we smile because we're happy which is true of course but you can make yourself happier by forcing yourself to smile first and assuming a posture that is more upright and Powerful remember that your body speaks as loudly as your words maintain an open posture gesture naturally to emphasize points and keep consistent eye contact lastly realize that Charisma is already present inside of you it's just about letting go and opening up freely to display it without fear now while I just highlighted the importance of logic when it comes to calming your own mind emotion is what Reigns Supreme when communicating with others every human no matter how logical is driven by emotions from tears during tragic or sad moments to Smiling during The Best Time Of Our Lives emotions shape our experiences as human beings now because of this engaging people people's emotions is at the core of Charisma if you can engage people's emotions you instantly become more charismatic a great way to engage people emotionally is through the way you tell stories and share experiences a good quote I heard before is to tell a story not the news and the next time you share an experience remember this it's more about how you present the story that matters rather than the actual story itself you want to vary your vocal range when you speak and use more animated gestures and descriptive language those elements combined help give a story more life and in terms of vocal range alternating between different pitches and emphasizing specific words can add depth and emotion to your story The Rhythm and pace of your speech are also important because they set the tone and mood use pauses laughter and eye contact to engage The Listener and remember that a flat dry delivery makes it challenging for listeners to stay engaged and captivating the person you're talking to is more about how you're saying something rather than what you're saying for example there are two different ways you could tell someone about how you went to a music festival over the summer an example of a boring way would be some something like this over the summer I went to a music festival that took place in a forest some of the biggest artists performed and there were a ton of people it was a cool experience or you could put more emphasis into painting a picture and expressing the feelings you felt while you were there so an example of that would be something like this so over the summer I went to this music festival that a friend had been recommending to me for a while and let me tell you this place was mind-blowing the festival took place in this Forest that just seemed to go on for miles and miles it was huge and the scenery was something out of a movie the festival had a crowded match too there were over a hundred thousand people there from over 300 countries and all the best artists were headlining it was this perfect combination of beautiful landscape amazing people and music and it was easily the best Festival that I've been to now one of the benefits of opening up my story and being more descriptive is that it gives you a better picture in your mind of what I had experienced but it also gives the other person more options to continue expanding the conversation for example you could ask me what country had the coolest people there if I had any pictures of the scenery that I described as being out of a movie or what other festivals I have been to that made me think that this was the best one now I'm not sure if there's an actual academic term for this but I like to call this concept expansion the idea of expansion is to present questions and answers in a way that gives the other person multiple options to expand on but also has an interesting effect of perceiving you as being more relatable and charismatic for example let's say I'm talking to a girl on a date and she mentions that she's into fitness an example of a boring reply would be for me to say something like oh so what do you do to stay fit a more interesting way of asking the question would be to say something like oh you're into fitness so do you lift weights or do yoga or wait don't tell me you're one of those cardio bunnies it just runs on the treadmill for hours and hours you're more likely to get a dry one or two word answer but the first question whereas with the second you're more likely to make her laugh because she can relate to the cardio bunnies in the gym if she's a gym girl plus that push-pull aspect of kind of grilling her for it and and the assumption that you're making plus the question just allows for a more varied delivery with your facial expressions your tone your Rhythm Etc there's just more potential for an emotional response overall another example of this with a reply is if someone asks what you do for work a boring answer would just be oh I'm a personal trainer a more interesting answer that expands would be something like so I was actually in school originally to become a physical therapist but I fell in love with the gym along the way so now I'm a personal trainer that mainly works with athletes which is actually a lot of fun because I used to play baseball years ago by the way do you work out or have you played any sports in the past the expansive answer gives the other person multiple things to potentially talk about and it allows you more opportunities to express emotion and to make the conversation more colorful overall they have the two questions that you presented to them plus your background with school your job and working with athletes that gives them more insight into who you are as a person plus the Avenues they can explore with you in conversation now I can talk more about this or expand on it but this is really the backbone of how you become more interesting in conversation and never run out of things to say it's not about talking more and just adding a bunch of words in there but talking smarter adding a bit of flair and extra information gives others more to bounce back with mix in some of the earlier tips and you're making the conversation much more engaging overall which is increasing your charisma now you may have noticed in the last example I answered the person's question but my expression showed genuine interest when replying with two questions of my own the expression of genuine interest is one of the elements that creates a Vibe of caring about the other person and having a warm demeanor overall this genuine interest also translates to giving sincere compliments and a heartfelt compliment at the right time can create an instant connection think back to a time when someone really listened to you and when their attention felt like a warm Spotlight on you that's the magic of warmth and warmth goes beyond just a smile it's about being fully present with the person now here's another way to think about this think of someone who's the opposite of charismatic someone who's constantly distracted distant or disinterested now if you flip those traits around you've got part of the blueprint for being charismatic engaged focused and interested now I've noticed in my own life that the most charismatic people I know share a few key traits they're genuinely interested in what other people say they're empathetic and when they talk to you it feels like you're the only person in the room so the way to get there is by first being in the moment when you're talking with someone be all in ignore your phone tune out background noise and really listen while holding eye contact empathy is also key understand where the other person is coming from if they share something personal show them that you get it active listening involves more than just hearing them not in agreement give verbal affirmations like I see I understand and occasionally reflecting back what someone has said ensures the person feels truly heard and valued shares stories that relate to their experience and you will create a dynamic where they feel heard in the conversation deepens which increases your perceived Charisma in their eyes now I saved this tip for last because displaying warmth allows you to utilize the other elements I've talked about so far with your mindset your presentation your storytelling and expansion when you combine all of them together with a genuine interest in the person they synergize together to create a charismatic Aura keep in mind that it's also important to practice these things consistently social skills are one of those things that become Rusty when you don't use them I know for myself if I'm in the house a lot the first time I go back out it takes me a while to warm up again as someone who's naturally more introverted so practice is key for somebody like me and likely for somebody like you if you have an introverted personality it's important to place yourself in situations to practice your charisma and social skills over and over with a variety of people until these things feel second nature also another thing that's key is to pay attention to how you handle disagreements or criticisms remember that Charisma isn't just about how you speak but also how you listen and respond a graceful response in situations where people are challenging you whether it's playful or not can really elevate your charismatic presence I also suggest paying attention to charismatic people around you and celebrities while actively asking yourself what makes them seem so charismatic to you what are the traits and details of their behavior that grabs your attention so well what is it about someone who holds your attention when telling a story why are they so interesting ask yourself these questions and then break them down systematically so you can emulate some of the traits that capture your attention now another important trait that can enhance your charisma is confidence so make sure you watch this video next where I go over some of the mindset shifts you can make to instantly boost your confidence and I will see you in the next one

Channel: Danny Vera

Views: 44,865

Keywords: charisma on command, charisma, charlie houpert, russell brand, brad pitt, chris hemsworth, tom cruise, idris elba, how to have charisma, how to have charisma as a man, danny vera, danny vera charisma, become charismatic, charismatic voice, social skills, denmo, how to become social, how to get women, how to make friends, dale carnegie, basics in behavior, tyler durden, lewis howes, self improvement, modern wisdom, chris williamson, vanessa van edwards, better ideas

Id: WPKDt3hFFJQ

Length: 10min 31sec (631 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 18 2023