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now what you're gonna want to do is stir that it tells about the consistency of a cloud I'm pleased to announce NASA's new space program which will send a family of rats yes it's true I'm not your father and your ex-husband is still alive and living in Cairo and step two three five yeah now take an egg beater and really beat your twin sister but I thought she ran with the circus and was raised by rabid monkeys they of course had to be put down and now we're using the rats NASA authorities say that I hate you and your mother I knew you never loved us all you've ever cared about was your glutes are you feeling the burn though okay now we're gonna start working this thigh and rub them down with some olive oil now put this in the oven along with taxpayers dollars this money has been spent on genetic engineering and now these rats have significantly larger hamstrings you're gonna want to stretch those out for a few years but did you care oh no you never called you never wrote you never even learned how to use a special rat toilet they are highly intelligent and can navigate complex mazes and most surprisingly they can fake a krumper leg it's easy all you need is it absolutely sickens me to think that this is 15 pounds of human fat a jar and if you don't think you have the willpower don't despair because very few have died in the process the nature of this experiment is top secret so naturally the White House will take you through step by step until tomorrow I'm dying of cancer and all you can do is stand there and squat over your ankles okay this is a great technique that I picked up from the NASA space rats in conclusion we'd like to thank the press for coming tonight and we hope that you all go for your sins never wanted ones the flexibility of a Russian gymnast and your love but it's too late I'm leaving you can forward my mail to balloon thank you

Channel: Divine Comedy

Views: 17,642

Rating: 4.9473686 out of 5

Keywords: divine, comedy, byu, sketch, mormon, brigham, young, university, matt, meese, jeremy, warner, natalie, madsen, scott, fleming, sarah, michael, jason, komm, channel, surfing

Id: 6O1JXJxA4Hg

Length: 2min 13sec (133 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 28 2016