CCF GLC 2 Book 8 - Session 7 What to Teach your Children Part 1 (Family Life)

we are going to talk about what do you teach your children what to teach your children we have discussed last week about the idea of the roles of parents how to influence your children remember last week today Lord willing we will teach what to teach your children part 1 what to teach your children part 2 I know you all love your children now notice I made this last why is this last until you learn how to influence your children until you learn the role of parent until you learn the role of husband and wife it's hard to teach your children let me tell you why because teaching is talking but we have learned teaching is also modeling so if you don't support up with modeling all your teaching will be useless and that's why you have teenage rebellion teenage rebellion only happens because they've come to a point in their lives there are sick and tired of the hypocrisy they've been facing and suddenly they have the guts to say no to you when they are still small they keep saying yes to you when they are still small they disagree with you they just keep quiet because they are afraid of you but the day will come because your lifestyle and your teachings are not consistent suddenly you get shot you're surprised why are they so disrespectful why do they disagree with you now why do they openly rebelled against you and the reason is you have not followed many of these principles so if you just focus on tonight what to teach them it can help you but I suggest you review the other lessons are we ready alright what do you want to teach them well I suggest you teach them the following number one you teach them about themselves it's called identity many parents don't have any idea why this is important you teach them about how do you deal with family members that's important you teach them about friends how do you deal with friends someday they will have friends you have to teach them about courtship we have to teach them about the world you teach them about God and most important you have to teach them why do you believe what we believe you cannot keep on saying what the Bible says so why should I believe the Bible have you ever thought of that do you like to learn alright let's pray father God in heaven you are the master teacher we all humble ourselves before you speak to all of us speak through me override my preparation give all of us a humble heart a willing heart to learn a willing heart and a humble heart to change our own perceptions of how things should be a willingness to admit we have made mistakes and we now commit to you the entire sessions tonight I pray for our Shearer's I pray for our family members that you will guide them also as this year in Jesus name we pray amen notice the first thing I'd like you to teach your children about themselves why is that important about themselves it's called identity it's called self-worth now let me ask you some of you have never learned this lesson yourselves where do you get your identity where do you get your self-worth anybody where well some people they get their self-worth from money they get their self-worth from possessions they get their self-worth from connection but listen to me your self-worth is so crucial because of this simple quotation everybody read this if our identity is in our work notice rather than Christ success will go to our heads and failure will go to our hearts because you value yourself your self-worth from the wrong sources many times many young people value their self-worth from the approval of their friends and the moment their friends don't approve of them they feel horrible but you never told them where to get their value where do you get their self-worth for many people it's about money for many people it's about their connection I want to give you a simple illustration all right are you ready you must shout aloud how much is this now there how do you know it's 1000 now look at me yeah how much is this why the value of this piece of paper is not dependent on its cleanliness it's not dependent on what has happened to it it's because there is value yes or no now you need to understand your own self how people treat you what they say about you does not determine your value where do you find your value value is dependent on how much people are willing to pay for example somebody gave me a gift somebody gave CGF a nice gift it's an amazing painting of the top 3 legendary artists in the Philippines mala or lasso Legaspi these are world-class they came up with a painting now let me ask you a question how much is that painting worth millions one painter gave me a piece of painting and I realized he said this is worth a lot of money now I won't tell you what painting is that you might come to my house and steal it however I can paint the same thing now after I paint it how much will my painting be worth compared to all of those famous artists you see value is dependent on how much you are willing to pay yes or no now let me ask you what did God pay for your soul what how much did he pay for you the Bible tells us Jesus paid with his life you are precious you are valuable because God paid with the life of his son my friends if your children don't understand this they will find their self-worth from friends and your friends is going to mistreat you you find yourself work from your business if your business fails what's gonna happen to you so do you agree this is important so I suggest you find your own identity in Christ so I teach my children when they were younger I don't know if they remember that God's system asks everybody special and precious so can you turn to your neighbor tell your neighbor you are special and precious special and precious that's what the Bible says number two God has a wonderful plan for them you may not realize this you are future kings you're a future Prince and Princess you are precious because of God's plan for you the Bible tells us you are to develop God confidence and not self confidence share with me God confidence and not self confidence what does it mean many people do they like to teach people you can do anything you want to become so they teach a lot of self confidence self mention that is doomed to failure also so I teach my children develop your confidence in Christ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me so their identity is tied up to Jesus and then I want to teach my children that they should be thankful Sarah with me to be thankful in everything give thanks do you realize they've discovered mental health has a direct correlation with gratitude and Thanksgiving so I teach my children to be grateful to be thankful in other words I am very intentional there are times I will purposely teach them the simplicity of life so that everything they have becomes precious my son-in-law just went to mount Apple he climbed the highest mountain in the Philippines he told me he's one of his greatest lessons it's the reality that we can survive with very little things I see what do you mean he said well we went to the mountain how do you carry all that stuff you can do that because it's two days hike up to three days I mean that's a long hike he said water became so precious what because you don't have all the water to shower or what food the simplest food becomes precious and he said I learned to appreciate things I brought my children years ago to different tribal areas we went to Palawan and the toilet is not in the house the toilet you have to walk now I don't know if they still remember is remember those days okay my wife is very grateful my wife grew up with simplicity she did not grow up with expensive places nice toilets now she had to go out at night or during the winter it's called outhouse the toilet is outside your house is a hole somewhere outside with a roof on top but I praise God for my wife the most grateful person I have met never complain never grumble always give thanks when I pray that my children will do the same and I think they are grateful so I tell them thank God for the unchangeable so what are the unchangeable in your life your parents know some people don't like their parents but you cannot change them you gotta be thankful brothers and sister you can change them learn to appreciate them gender are you a boy be happy you're a boy you're a girl be happy don't try to change birth order okay birth order piranha gamma power weapon at low race look at me what's the color of our skin when I go to the states and I give seminar I tell them the problem with white they are not cooked properly the problem with block they're overcooked this one just right that's a joke okay but you understand appreciate your race I've seen many Filipinos they go to the States and they want to be Americans you know what I told them no matter what you do you can even speak like America however you are a Filipino yes or no be thankful are you thankful physical features no whatever you can change you change understand if you can have a new hairdo okay and you okay now if you can wash your face of course was anything you can change it's okay but there are certain features you cannot change yes or no so in the morning when you wake up in the mirror you look at the mirror you say lord I thank you this guy looks good Lord thank you are you grateful with how you look yes or no no no some of you or not I know because every time we talk to you people hurting people hurt others unhappy people reflect unhappiness and many times you think the problem is with your children you have never dealt with your own identity some of you your husband left you some of you you are not loved and you carry that for the rest of your life and it's affecting your children because you are getting your self-worth from how people are treating you you need to depend of that you need to say Lord I thank you I've made lots of mistakes but because of you I'm a new person so be grateful share with me be grateful time in history of course I praise God I'm now living in 2016 some of you wish you were born in the days of Jesus can I tell you what would have happened you would have crucified Jesus okay so let's be thankful and then I tell our children God wants them to be responsible for their choices be responsible for your choices this is something I read I really teach my children because young people are never taught to assume responsibility for their choices because their parents but in when there's a problem their parents will intervene when there's a problem the school their parents intervene you have not taught your children choices have consequences understand so we teach them this choices have consequences you are free to choose but you're not free to escape the consequences of their choice now this is so crucial consequences are not always immediate that's not in your notes okay I get this as a bonus some choices have long-term consequences and you think you're getting over it and your children think they're getting away with it for example children who are lazy children who are not disciplined the consequences may not be immediate because the father is there to give the money the fathers didn't true to provide for them but what's going to happen what do you think will happen if a children grow up not disciplined just think of the long term impact when daddy and mommy is no longer around there are long-term consequences that are not immediate the choices they make will impact their future that's guaranteed the vision of the future should impact their present choices so I teach them and that's why it's very good to a little garden or a flowerpot and you teach your children you plant something it will grow and you will notice something they want to hurry it up it cannot grow a plant cannot be hurried up understand when you plant something you put water or fertilizer allow it to grow the same thing with life sometimes it takes time the three most important choices you're going to make number one your children I tell them who is gonna be your master Jesus or yourself number two who's gonna be your mate number three who's gonna be what will be your mission you teach your children there are these are major decisions and hopefully you are involved in all of the three master Jesus made get involved mission what will they do be there to advise them I'm gonna ask Jennifer and Peter to share something with us about what we were shared about in the you know about themselves identity choices etc let's welcome them so you know when we were growing up and we'll share two stories but everything my dad put on the board about on the TV about consequences decisions I learned about that but you know sometimes I shared last week right how I played video games for those who of you who were here I love gaming sometimes the the truths that are told you don't internalize them so even though I knew that right I continued to make choices that in my mind now looking back I wish I had done differently so for example when I was in business school as I shared I had all these friends that I could have influenced there now CEOs of companies but my influence with them is very mineral minimal because even though God is gracious and I I got good grades I finished you know I studied the impact of my decisions to spend my time by myself playing they last and you know our parents taught us that consequences are there God's grace is there right so all of us we know were saved but sin no matter how small it impacts a life and the impact sometimes isn't seen immediately and that was something that even though we were told when we were younger it's only later in life that I understood and I wish that when I was younger if I could go back in time and talk to a younger Peter I would tell him you know love God with all your heart and avoid sin because the impact of sin even though you may not see it immediately because you think you know no one's gonna be affected it does impact life and the greatest impact to me looking back is this our parents taught us and again you'll see you saw on the board that God has a plan for all our lives each person here in this room God has a magnificent wonderful vision for what you can do in his kingdom for the people you can reach you know all around you all around me I realize in business school had I looked there were people that needed the Lord people that that were looking for a friend but because I allowed sin which is in my case came in the form of selfishness a desire for pleasure I lived a life that though I was a Christian and others will say you're doing well you're not doing drugs it's like down here when God's plan for us is up there and so if you give your children a vision that God really wants to use them and they develop that passion you know one passion consumes another then they'll want to walk closely with God because they don't want to they don't want to just live a second-rate Christian life so that was one thing our parents taught us and really impacted me and lately only have I really took taken it to heart now another thing they taught us and I would like my wife to share a story because even as we're older our parents still try to influence our lives is this thing about being thankful you know my wife I'll let her tell her story but you want to tell them now how it started so I'll let my wife talk this is Jennifer hi everyone I grew up in Arizona and it's in the US and it's very landlocked so there's no natural bodies of water anywhere which means the seafood is not so fresh at times so when my parents my biological parents would take us to a seafood restaurant I would be overwhelmed immediately we'd walk into this restaurant I'd be overwhelmed with the smell and the idea of it the fact that I knew that they were gonna ask me to try fish and I would say no and I would just respectfully I would gag and then I would just order something else and they would allow me to get a different menu item so I was thankful for that but I never was encouraged to try fish above and beyond what I didn't want so fast forward many years now later Peter jr. and I are newly engaged and we go with mom and dad tick tick I tie and we're out to Chinese food with the family and of course dad loves seafood so he order seafood he orders fish and he he strongly it encourages me to try some so I dare not to disobey dad you know my new to be father-in-law so I just took a small little piece and I tried it and then I followed it with an entire glass of water and I choked it down and it was so difficult for me because the texture the smell everything evoked like this feeling of fear in my heart so especially also dad a little bit too the fear so um so afterwards after dinner I remembers vividly calling Peter jr. aside do you remember this and I remember asking him I just member sobbing and I remember falling into his arms so romantic and I said I can't do it I can't marry you I can't eat fish every night I I just really can't do this I'm so sorry but I know dad's gonna order fish and I really can't I can't I can't I'm sorry so you know of course at the time it was so hard for me but now looking back we we laugh and it's funny but and so to this day now it's still dad's favorite food and he still orders it at meals and he encourages us Jenny and I both to try it and now over time I mean it's been nine years and slowly but surely I've still been eating fish and actually I have to say that I actually enjoy fish now so it's something that we actually buy and we make different dishes and so so yeah I would just like to say you know dad is so sweet he always orders it creatively with sauce and things like that so you can do these things like that with your kids you know make it fun and creative so and we do that with our daughter too yeah so just to wrap up what when we grew up we were taught you eat everything because they're starving people around the world you'd be grateful if in front of you is this thing called ampullae yeah then you eat them ballet yeah and if you don't eat it my dad doubles the portion he puts mm ballet yeah but my wife was different in her world she doesn't want something she doesn't touch it and you saw the difference but now she's learned at an older age to be thankful for everything so thanks dad we need to be grateful count your blessings everybody say that count your blessing now what do you teach them about family so after teaching them identity itself for beating food family I suggest they should value and spend time with their family that is a family value in our family value your family the Bible tells us you are to what love one another your first one another is your family member and I teach our children they should treat family members with respect I don't know about you have you seen your children they are nicer to other people than to each other hey how many of you have noticed that in your children raise your hands okay many of you don't be afraid you do not have to teach them you are nice to your friends but someday your friends will leave you but family members are supposed to be together yes or no so I teach them to appreciate family members and the way you do that is as early as you can remember you teach them to treat others with respect as early as now it's never too late I teach them to forgive why heist forgiveness important because this is reality people family members are going to disappoint each other family members are going to make mistakes family members guaranteed will hurt each other willingly or unwillingly in our family forgiveness is a culture so in our family the atmosphere is not tense it is relaxing how is it relaxing because we allow people to make mistakes and they are guaranteed forgiveness so if you will try to take record the conversations of the family you will notice again and again many times there was forgive me they talk to each other forgive me you see why because they are taught to forgive now let me ask you is there anybody today in your life that you're bitter you're angry is there anybody in your life that you have bitterness or anger against raise your hands higher raise your hands I want to help you alright the opposite is this how many of you do not have bitterness or anger against anybody up to today in other word maybe in the past appear forgiving them so as of today you have no anger or bitterness against anybody raise your hands what's the problem with the rest of you you did not raise your hands the first time you did not raise your hands the second time what are you telling me I'm not stupid I can analyze can I tell you something you must be able to say I don't have anybody and beat arrogance where I'm angry again if you cannot answer that if you have bitterness against somebody or anger against somebody as of today you are living in sin and once you live in sin you have no power you have no real joy you have no real peace you're living in disobedience it's a no-no so for our family members we make sure we forgive we ask for forgiveness that's important so if God bring to your mind somebody you know you know what God commands us forgive one another is that in the Bible are you sure all right be tender be kind to one another tender-hearted forgiving each other as God in Christ has forgiven you therefore if you are angry against anybody bitter against anybody you are living in sin don't allow your children to live in sin they should become givers not takers to serve and not to be served so in our family with what you call servants of the week service of the day my five children so it's the day we serve on for Monday serve on for Tuesday and they learn to serve you should do that in your family teach our children how to serve okay with you guys are you listening to me young people can learn to serve they can learn to clean what Jesus teach them strip the floor teach them bring you water bring water their brother serve lastly they should invest in the lives of other family members you know why the Bible says where your treasure is there your heart will be also one of the reasons I believe my family members they love each other because they spend time they would spend time with each other and you know time is precious and when you spend time with each other you get to love them so if you ask my family members their best friends are themselves they love each other today they are my best friends we love each other now I'm not perfect I make mistakes isn't that wonderful yes or not now you want to be a wonderful family this is the summary the way they treat their family members is how they will treat their future family and others so I'm going to give singles a secret I tell my children if you are courting somebody you look at how they treat their family members because the way they treat their family members is how they're gonna be treating you someday if they respect disrespectful to their mothers disrespectful to their sisters I'm gonna tell you someday when you get married that's holding they cannot treat you I mean that's how he or she will treat you so I praise God my children have learned to observe they're boyfriend-girlfriend in a family state setting you just watch how they treat each other you watch how they see their mother you watch how they treat their siblings the Bible gives an example for example how family relationship the term means future relationship for example goodness rebuke and all their men appeal to him as a father notice the relationship younger men as brothers what is all about family relationship all their women as mothers younger women as sisters so all the family interaction will teach you how to relate to others when they grow up if they don't know how to treat each other in the family someday they will not know how to treat others when they grow up because you have not taught them how to treat one another let's talk about friends how what do you teach them about friends well number one we know what I tell them there will surely a friends whether you like it or not they are going to a friend's so number one I warn them their friends will influence them either positively or negatively this is guaranteed many of us don't realize the power and influence of friendship so you gotta teach your children how to choose friends because there will be impacted look what the Bible says do not be deceived bad company corrupts good more on just basic they are to choose their friends you see most parents don't even teach their children how to choose friends how many of you have taught your children how to choose friends raise your hands okay how do you teach them how to choose friends well my wife reminded me just now by the way my wife would love to be here but she's not feeling well so you pray for her she told me to remind all of you the years ago Peter jr. was being invited by a group of friends and another group of friends one group they wear baggy pants is called the skaters in a correction the skaters the other one are the athletes they're supposed to be good in school to be an athlete and he made up his mind both of that group were trying to change him to become their friends he chose what he chose to be with the athletes I praise God he chose his friends properly if you don't teach your children how to choose friends their friends will influence them the problem is this some of you are adult ready up to now you don't even know how to choose friends you hung around with the wrong crowd pays God you are here on Thursday I wonder what you will do tomorrow so I pray you learn to choose friend you know I have all kinds of friends so I am friends of everybody however my bar qaeda's are selected I'm careful I don't hang around with people that will influence me negatively let me repeat you must have many friends yes or no nothing wrong but choose your bar Cardoz friends will live them but they will live with their decisions I know this is in your other notes ok in the first one I just switch it friends will live them but they will live with their decisions and the consequences of their choices my mother-in-law told my wife Dianna your friends will someday live you but you cannot live yourself you try living yourself it's ok tell yourself I'm gonna live you know you live with your decisions you live with the consequences of your choices you want premarital sex because the boy tells you he loves you fine you get pregnant he lives you you suffer the consequences so you gotta teach this to your family your friends I mean to your children it is impractical to a boyfriend and girlfriend my goodness many parents don't teach this because you don't realize the power of hormones hormones will kick in and naturally they'll be attracted to a boy girl so you gotta tell them that's normal but do not have a special boyfriend or girlfriend until they are ready to get married so this was written by my daughter she learned this from experience without having boyfriend or girlfriend here are the blessings ok the blessings of not having boyfriend or girlfriend early number one blessing freedom from destruction you can focus on studies you can focus on other things freedom from unnecessary pain you see when you boyfriend girlfriend when you break up the experience pain why do you want your kids to experience those paint early freedom from isolation my son has a good friend who were all varsity players and according to him he began to a girlfriend in his senior years and all of his buddies were shut out of his life and when he went to college he and his girlfriend parted ways and he told my son is really very lonely when you don't have friends it's his choice he could have been friends with his group but he choose to spend time with his girlfriend you can be isolated freedom to develop God's gift and pursue God's will I praise God my children many of them can play music they can paint they can draw why because they have extra time so they they got into sports they can all kinds of profitable hobbies now so if you made mistakes in the past remember your past you cannot change but you can teach that your children now beware of giving yourself excuses well I was bad engulfed within me it's okay for my children to a bad experience because someday God will save them also nono avoid unnecessary pain for your children freedom from immorality and its consequences you know the problem with boyfriend/girlfriend most of them do not plant the premarital sex especially when it comes to Christians I believe a lot of Christians they plan to be holy they plan to be honoring to God but because of the power of hormone and the power of physical attraction and temptation if you don't guard yourself you're gonna be in trouble so my daughter came up I mean my wife and I came up with this chart the importance of priority make sure they understand God is number one number two your family and number three your studies responsibilities and lastly probably lastly your friends most of our children have been birthed at pyramids they're number one is their friends why because they get their self-worth from friends they get their affirmation from friends because they are not getting it from you so parents if you are not cross your children they feel empty and you don't teach them about God we all want to get their self-worth from their bark Ida's and that's the beginning of problem for you a friend of mine told me boy my problem is solved my son is finally married how could he be so wrong after 10 years the son moved up why broken marriages how can the mother say don't come back to the house you see if you don't teach them properly you have unnecessary problems so what do you do if you don't not if you don't like their friends what do you do what I'm going to tell you what we did do not attack their friends get to know their friends open your house focus on intimacy rather than using intimidation to influence your children you don't like their friend fine but open your house try to possibly influence their friends let your children know you are on their side so your children will realize you're not bias do you have children whom you don't approve of their friends do you have those how many of you have those kind of situations raise your hand all right so are you listening to what I'm telling you no don't shut them away because the moment you attack their friends they will defend their friends don't do that get to know their friends influence their friends if you have more questions I don't know if we have time question and answer feel free about courtship would you like to learn about courtship alright I'm going to talk to you shortcut okay the twelve principles of courtship twelve I do not know that twelve was removed all right ah this is not the one oh hey so are you ready to learn about courtship alright you teacher children be the person God wants them God wants you to be be able to support a family for the man serve with other Christian singles in groups be aware of the qualities to look for in a future spouse involve your family and friends in group date you know this seminar is really for singles and kids you guys are too old for this seminar okay because you are married already and you say Peter it's too late but to teach your children you teach this to your children okay with you all right would you like to teach your children what qualities to look for would you like to know what qualities you look for now this is not exhaustive this is just my list and my wife but you can have your own list would you like to see my list alright I said I tell my children you teach your children right now yeah well they're salesmen you got to keep repeating them get marry only somebody who loves you who loves God hey who love people number two hard-working can I tell you why hard-working is more important than money if somebody's hard-working he will never be hungry he will provide well most young men faithful understand when I say be able to support your family I do not mean be able to support your family like your parents are doing now because when they are newly married they don't expect them to live in a five bedroom house start a small lip simply when I first got married you know I eat pal boost Nakamoto and galangal how many of you know what he's got ongoing raise your hand yeah are they nice I'll tell you they're so good what about our Boston commodity how many of you eat tall boys not remotely are they healthy do they taste good not really but you know what we live simply we live below our means eager to serve as good EQ I tell you if your boyfriend or girlfriend is very sensitive KSP look at me run run don't don't let your children pursue the relationship in a way you can have problem EQ is important trustworthy if your boyfriend or girlfriend if their boyfriend or girlfriend and lying to them again no no there's no trust someday they'll lie to you discipline you want to marry somebody with discipline not materialistic now of course people say well is impossible to have this well at least you know some certain standards you look for them okay why it's not materialistic important somebody with materialistic man you can never make enough money to make them happy one of the reasons why I married my wife not what I courted my wife I discovered my wife Deanna is very simple do you know she has only four pairs of I mean four dress for dresses yeah my wife so simple my wife learned to live simply but my wife is a classy girl with style yes or no so I praise God my wife can sign my checks I trust her completely because he is not materialistic and she loves the Lord now 12 guidelines for courtship here we go number one prey number to be proactive for the men where you tell your children or your sons be observant of the people in the Christian groups that you know okay so do you know these are guidelines only ladies don't be proactive be careful be courageous to approach the person you are interested in if you are if you are men so I want to have a seminar for men sometimes they're so slow be approachable friendly and responsive if you are a women way if you are a women if you're a woman look at me if you're a woman don't play hard to get don't play hard be nice be respectful understand but don't play games with men any girl that played games with me in the past I just gave her one chance just one I'm serious so I am NOT heartbroken Mara been heartbroken I never gave any Valentine card to any other girl except my wife I never gave any roses to any girl except my wife in the white God protected me from unnecessary pain if girls play hard-to-get you know what I tell them goodbye adios I remember I was courting one girl you know from along you know along go okay you know this elonka girls are very sweet yes mahine him you know but she was giving me a hard time I see playing games I said hasta la vista I'm so glad you know why my wife who can compare in my way get your parents and family's opinion this is so important be intentional and getting to know each other get to know each other ask questions pray specifically for God's will in your relationship get the opinion of your spiritual leader and family members parents get the approval of your parents for marriage if you have God's confirmation and parents approval get engaged engagement should be short I will tell you why longing gets man is dangerous there's no reason for long engagement so I encourage if you are sure get married guard your purity during this time for you are more vulnerable to temptation especially when you're engaged with him because you think you're sure and you begin to be careless and many times you are not careful you will have sex so these are guidelines I think this is good for a single retreat okay so we will do this in singles it is I'm just giving you some bird's-eye view to teach your children I'm gonna ask Jenny to share with us about her lessons on courtship let's welcome Jenny so I was blessed also to be raised in a Christian home that also had very high standards and so at a young age my parents were very strict with us as kids and they really let us know that they wanted us to really hold off on relationships and so my dad style was he would sit me down and he would start talking to me about relationships and the lesson which was probably plenty you know ten minutes would have been a plenty of time usually it would end up one hour of him lecturing me about why I should wait for relationships so something I realized as a young kid was that I didn't want to talk a lot to my parents about relationships cuz I felt like I would be lectured so something I've learned now as a parent is that it's very important that you have open communication with your kids our kids are very young we have a 10 year old 8 year old 6 year old and a 2 year old so even now my husband and I are already teaching our kids about relationships and my husband is so cute he's already told my daughter do not kiss anybody don't let any man kiss your lips only your husband and so they know they know already they're so young but they know that they need to have standards and guidelines so for me unfortunately because I was nervous about talking with my parents about about relationships I was influenced by my friends at an early age and so I got into relationships very young and it it was the encouragement of my friends you know they were doing it so they encouraged me to start getting into relationships and of course from there then you know your standards can also be made and what you do in relationships I remember I was probably only about 13 or 14 and one of my friends asked me she's like so Jenny what are your standards in a relationship you know physically how far should you go and I'm so young I'm only 14 I'm like well I know you're not supposed to have sex and then so we started talking some more and she's like well I think it's okay to do everything just as long as one of you has their clothes on I was so shocked I couldn't believe I was hearing this from my friend cuz I had standards I thought you know my standards are a lot higher than that but this was from a young lady I don't know where she was getting her standards but these were the standards that my friends were telling me that hey it's okay as long as at least one person has their clothes on or at least the bottom half high and I couldn't believe it so something I realized too is that you know for our children you know you have to impart God's Word you have to let them know where their standards are coming from so of course my parents in you know really taught us about sex and saving yourself for marriage and so I understood that to as a young child that even though I got into relationships I knew that I really wanted to save myself for my future husband and then another thing was as I got older and kind of did the whole dating game thing it just it there was no point to it and I realized that I started really wasting a lot of my energy I'm just kind of getting to know guys not with the intent of for purpose of marriage so it actually wasn't until my high school year of college that I came to a point where I really surrendered that whole aspect to the Lord and I really got down on my knees and I said okay Lord I want you to be in control of relationships and it was after that I said okay I want to be very strict with myself and who it is that you want from me Lord and it wasn't long after that that God brought Paul back into my life and I was very cautious at first because I knew I didn't wanted to I didn't want to get into relationship and so things started off very casually and a lot of things that dad shared about you know getting to know each other in a family setting you know he would hang out with my family I would hang out with his family it was very casual we did a lot of things not exclusively but with other people and we got to get to know each other and I did have a set of standards and I realized that something too as parents you know I think it's very important that we help our kids understand them or tens of standards non-negotiables things that you're not gonna settle for and one of the things that was on my list is I really wanted a man who loved God with his whole heart and not just a Christian man but a man that was being discipled and when I started to get to know Paul I knew that he loved the Lord and there was evidence of that and one of the things I wanted was a man that was being discipled and this was before CCF had discipleship groups and so I asked him I said so are you being discipled and he's like yeah of course my dad's disciple in me and you know I challenge him I said well maybe you should also be discipled from someone outside your family and so he's like okay you know I can do that and he thought for a while and he's like maybe your dad can disciple me and I was like uh I didn't mean that you know so you know but actually he did he did ask my father to disciple him also but you know there was things that I started to see in him from my list of standards of the man after God's own heart that he had so those are just some of the things that I learned you see even the LIGO disciple Eagle everything can be affected

Channel: Gabriel Rebuta

Views: 8,189

Rating: 4.884892 out of 5

Keywords: ccf, glc 2, book 8, session 7, teach your children, part 1, family life

Id: hpU8VEiy9vI

Length: 51min 56sec (3116 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 14 2019