Cats In Therapy

well I think I'm here because someone thinks I have anger issues because of how I'm treating the Rumba no I think there's resentment there I wanted to go into marketing and he wanted me to be an indoor cat now we have seven plants and we're thinking about getting more it's a lot to chew on like actually chew on that's what I do all day no that's fine my earliest memory was being alone behind a Trader Joe's in Glendale I thought my mother was this package of soft tofu that had fallen behind the dumpster and one day it gets really hot and the thing fermented and I'm kneading it right and it just blew up all over me and I'm just covered in chunks of what I thought was my mother so do you think that's relevant I think it was a one step back week and I did everything you said perm or make eye contact but next to her on her bed oh well that might be the problem sure she tries she got me a peacock feather the other day one here's an idea get me the whole peacock and let me murder it on that jute rug you have which feels identical by the way to the scratching post identical but no no no that's not for Libby oh man what is this pashmina I don't even know what pashmina is this feels like can page me no question has milk ever come out of this no okay so I'm sitting on his lap and he's playing 20 questions with some of his friends right and he gets a card and the clue is cat and so one of his friends says does it have fur and he says yes and I get it it's a game but where does it leave me you know yes I'm in the right place what does it say on the door cat therapist I am a cat you were a therapist what the this always happens I'm more of a cat than that wrinkled pit bull that just walked out of here just do your magic brain which so I wake up and I have this thing on my head you ever had your head stuck in a box and it's sort of like that but always and my balls are missing I'm not saying she did it but she's acting like everything's normal and this is not normal let's be honest I mean it's mainly been a physical relationship which has been great but I'm getting older I'm almost 11 when you start thinking about what you have in common and it's not that Maho oh god that's good no he puts me on Instagram all the time and says the love of my life and all that but then he disappears for hours and when he comes home he just doesn't jerk it like he used to oh yeah gosh I meant the cat toy that came out wrong there's definitely something under the blanket I'm telling you we go to bed it moves I jump nothing there it moves somewhere else I don't know what the hell's going on okay but why do you assume it was me you left for the bathroom unprofessional and by the way and I sat right here maybe it came like that and you just didn't notice maybe you did it sure I have those thoughts and I'd probably start with the eyeballs and then go to the toes but I wouldn't do it yeah that's her I say come to couples therapy and she brings candy crush it's 2019 who plays candy crush

Channel: zefrank1

Views: 2,209,730

Rating: 4.9712396 out of 5

Keywords: ze, zefrank, sad cat

Id: HxM8Eb_IoFY

Length: 3min 24sec (204 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 04 2019