Casually Explained: People Who Are Into the Stock Market

one of the reasons i love the stock market is because it really gets down to the core of what i think life is all about making as much money as humanly possible with complete disregard to everything else now while i'm sure philosophers might eventually be able to come up with a reason why this could be bad one reason why it's good is because it rewards business models at work punishes ones that fail and encourages competition within an industry which often leads itself to innovation and getting customers better products as an example take a look at the craft beverage industry it used to just be big companies like nestle selling tap water at a huge markup but now we have bell delphine so while the stock market either goes up or it goes down the ways you can lose money on it are nearly endless so notice that different types of people like to trade in different ways depending on how they are in real life first of all we of course have the investor this is your classic older guy who knows a thing or two about the stock market like literally one or two things and those two things are time in the market beats timing the market and dollar cost averaging if they had to get a tattoo it would say buy the dip but they would never do that because tattoos are a sin next we have the boys of wall street bets these are zoomer and millennial d gens looking to get rich or take physical delivery of 50 000 barrels of crude oil trying they trade almost exclusively options which typically results in them making several times their original buy-in in a matter of days or straight up losing it all they figured that they're only gambling with their future so nothing to lose anyway their trading strategy consists of don't [ __ ] with the mouse and getting to a stock after it's already gone up 20 in the last three days another subset of options traders is theta gang a community based around selling the contracts to the previous group their profits are consistent but low enough that no one really cares their primary gains being the feeling of intellectual superiority when using terms like iron condor calendar spread iv crush and gamma hedging next we have your silver bugs and gold bugs these are the guys looking to keep their money safe so safe that once some guy in africa digs it out of the earth and sends it over they dig a hole in their backyard and put it right back in this investor is most often associated with the prepper community who are anticipating the coming apocalypse and have their shotgun shells and seat collections ready to go in their underground bunker not all gold bugs are this extreme however is my dad would simply describe himself as waiting for the great undoing of the world financial system and the collapse of american empire very similar to gold bugs you have the people who are into cryptocurrency these guys are similar in disposition but generally younger and less doomer they don't keep gold or silver on a vault in their basement because that's where they live kept warm by enough gpus to melt greenland they're absolutely loaded but never buy anything because if they sold bitcoin for us dollars that would imply bitcoin isn't a real currency penny stock speculators if options trading is the casino then penny stocks are the scratch-offs if there's the wolves of wall street these are the sheep and you might be thinking what no i'm not a sheep but like bro it's in the movie like literally that's what the movie is about if someone posted a thread on aerotyne with a few rocket emojis you know you'd put down 3k in an instant quants these are the mit graduates with three phds who work with 20 other math geniuses on a specific machine learning algorithm in order to front run the quartz crystal in the chicago mercantile exchange's internal 24-hour clock by running a fiber optic cable that's 14 feet shorter than the closest competitor thereby reducing the distance light has to travel so he can arbitrage a quarter of a cent profit per bushel on soybean futures he makes 500k a year but secretly dreams of owning an acreage and holding a soybean in the flesh the security analysts these guys are the very detail-oriented investors who are always out to find a good deal on an undervalued stock their biggest weakness is not being able to bring themselves to buy apple even though it's outperformed their entire portfolio for the past 10 years of course we can't forget last but not least wall street this is your investment banks hedge funds and money managers big money smart money whatever you want to call it now what most people think wall street does is this looks like daryl from new hampshire just bought 15k worth of delta airlines hmm oopsie daisy but what they actually do is this bring bring springbring hi this is jp morgan client services hi can i buy 15 000 of delta airlines yeah sure there's a five dollar service fee well that's fine okay it's done thank you hello hey lehman yeah want to write one too many zeros on a piece of paper sounds [ __ ] lit bro [Music] uh hey guys i've been uh streaming a lot more recently so please come check out my twitch the link is in the description and i'm live right now and uh please subscribe to my youtube channel if you like the videos thank you bye

Channel: Casually Explained

Views: 3,344,971

Rating: 4.9698076 out of 5

Keywords: envelope laser rectangle, Casually Explained, stand up comedy, comedy, animation, animated comedy, satire, how to, advice, funny, stand up, comedian, hilarious, humor

Id: x65TDamuSHU

Length: 5min 2sec (302 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 20 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Mharbles]

Oh cool, I've been doing F.I.R.E. just without the income, investing, or any chance of retirement and only the frugal part.

[u/JediMasterZao]

wallstreetbets is gonna be all over this one!

[u/farfrombeingasaint]

I still don’t understand at all

[u/BlueOrcaJupiter]

Tesla $2,000 before split.

[u/totalfuckwit]

I feel like everyone and their mother has gotten into trading now. Maybe it is just because of covid or it is just easier to do because of apps like robinhood becoming more popular.

[u/_binder]

I feel attacked

[u/mynameisrainer]

I just do what r/pennystocks tells me is a good idea. I have no problems letting strangers do "work" with my $60 and sometimes I make enough to buy a case of beer.

[u/infalliblefallacy]

Terrifyingly accurate.

[u/Matt32145]

Just open a roth IRA, invest in a total stock market index fund, and max it out every year. Unless the United States ceases to exist as a nation (or the economy permanently stagnates like Japan), you'll basically be a guaranteed millionaire by retirement.