Casio Cassiopeia A-20E Review | Ashens

hello aren't modern smartphones just the best little computers that sit in your pockets and you can whip them out at a moment's notice connect to the internet and ruin absolutely any pub conversation but things weren't always like this if you were to travel back in time to 1997 and want a small portable powerful computer you may as well try eating Ayers Rock and trust me that doesn't work very well I see the problem was technology wasn't there but people did want things people wanted something they could fit in their pockets they wanted something they could type out a Word document on the go with and unfortunately Casio released something called the Cassiopeia a 20 which didn't really do any of those things oh look it's a bloody great box casio Cassiopeia or Cassio Cassio for short or Cass Cass which is presumably what Muhammad Ali's mother called him as a pet name when he was a baby and let's have a look at the picture oh yeah it looks like a laptop but with a slightly rubbish screen that is glowing with its windows ce e energy mm window see to point over the handheld PC only other thing I could think of that of use with Windows CE was Dreamcast technically I suppose and that was great but probably not because of windows ce e ooh photograph shows display with backlight turned on yes that's because you can see it Cassiopeia is a mobile companion for Microsoft Windows 95 and Windows NT based pcs a mobile companion so what you're saying is it's not a device and its home rights of any use hmm are you making notes at home I do hope so it's got 8 megabytes of RAM crazy you could store a whole rude picture in it automatic data linking with the windows and if I resume a metal desktop computer automatic in that you have to plug it in yourself presumably it doesn't do that automatically that would be frightening built-in Microsoft pockets Word Microsoft Pocket Excel they've had to use the word pockets they're free totally different meaning to how we would think pocket in this sense of course means doesn't work properly internet access email world wide web browser asterisk one internet access requires a modem at a subscription to an internet provider dial-up and a modem which you would have to plug into it's PCMCIA card slots presumably mm-hmm that wouldn't stick out or anything with it um includes Microsoft pockets PowerPoint brilliant so many pockets wide display 640 by 240 dots this was at the time when a wide display was not a good thing especially not one that's sort of so wide and shorted that one directs printer connection master is too high commercially available converter is required for printing so when you say direct printer connection what you actually mean is you cannot connect this device directly to a printer until you've given us more money thanks lads anything else on the sides from there just a repetition of the same thing and on the back oh look sell it to us baby and it's not a software QV link this application allows you to transfer images to and from your casio QV digital camera that's in other words you've got to buy our specific camera I remember the cuvees one very good hyper memo Wow an extensive selection of built-in templates help you produced polished documents in an instant data is an HTML format which to review these in Pocket Internet Explorer grab him just so what does it do you forgot to tell us that bit it's got a lot of built-in templates we're doing something it's just like a it's just a database isn't it using it here's a database for his pictures of the Casio balloon here rendered in hideously low res let's keep that in as we look at sound Vega exclusive voicemail software lets you record and playback voice notes paint Atlas the exclusive drawing stroke painting application with a special map symbol driver and drawing tools if I remember I tried to install that from the CD and said it wasn't a valid application hmm includes Microsoft pocket pop under their blur schedule Microsoft Outlook connect to a PC lulululu be viewed near the interesting here and all the gump here again minimum desktop computer requirement secure these will be taxing by today's standards I reckon yeah twelve megabytes of memory we totally have more than that these days 486 stroke 33 DX or higher processor pentium p90 recommended available nine or 25-pin communications port home krikey serial ports that means all the data takes a million years to transfer one cd-rom drive if you've got to it won't work if you've got three you will die if you plug this in VGA or high-resolution graphics card keyboard and a mouse sorry Microsoft Mouse or compatible pointing device ah those are the days when everything was trying to be claimed by everyone right what's in it then here's a hint look expensive case this would probably have cost about a million pounds at the time instead if you're wondering how much this device was when it was released back in 1997 it was there $600 or 495 pounds so it was expensive although it must be said cheaper than sort of alternative things around at the time in general maybe possibly it's hard to tell when so much time has passed and his nod thing by the way comes with this floppy disk the Casio Service Pack 1 for the casio PA 20 January 1998 update mm-hmm most of the stuff I could find about this in the internet claimed it was released in me to 1998 it obviously wasn't because the update disc that comes with it is dated January 1998 therefore implying it was released in 1997 or earlier mm-hmm yeah this is some damage over the years almost as if somebody's actually used it but we'll come to that in a second as we look through floppy disk disk of software that I couldn't get to install gum flow somebody bought the nifty rechargeable battery for it and it's obviously died many years ago I like the Townies circuit board I shall name it Bobby the circuit board has officially friends forever though he's dead right here's a gigantic certificate of authenticity literally bigger than the disk inside for Windows CE includes Windows CE services 2.0 with active sync oh good I was worried that wouldn't be in there mm-hmm well I hope I can install that and modern heater that would be excellent somehow it has the proper processor though thank you for purchasing this Casio product those manuals fried all the information required to operate this model yes never even came to any further problems please contact the Casio helpline on over or email doctor milah oh nine hearts that's the Casio helplines email address from the time that's like the least professional bloody email address imaginable you've just bought an expensive handheld device if you've got any problems with it please email Metallica fan 1982 underscore 17 at CompuServe dotnet I don't know and he's a power adapter which is pretty much useless because we don't have a rechargeable battery for it but we do but it's broked and well you can't kind of run it off the mains and this has got batteries already in it it's confusing wait for it wait for it or then quick look at what's in here dirt and stuff here's something from the Chaplin currently donated this heroes have been using this pen lead as a stylus and very kindly included it for me and very kindly pre-chewed it for me so I didn't have to go through the endless rigmarole of chewing it myself cheers mate right Cassiopeia oh look at that the top is a slightly different color to the bottom that's quality Hey look I put a stylus in it but it's from a DSi just happened to fit there's no salmon I had all day well here's the device then notice the way we've had to fudge together the patch fries with them tinfoil and two doublea's officially this did take it two doublea's and the sole holder thing but the holder is missing all the part that actually lets the batteries make it contact is anyway hence the use of the bottom of one of mr. Kipling's exceedingly good Bakewell tart right as well there's a Cassiopeia a 20 e as the Box said and what we got on here that we can fiddle off then something under there yep that's the backup battery a lithium at 2032 cells where we died years ago oh what's under here answer it's the expansion slot and it fits memory cards the ancient compact flash type 256 megabytes on that which would have been a massive amount after the time like that that was interesting I'm here you've got the PCMCIA or was it card bus probably PCMCIA at the time and which has the biggest and heaviest blanking plate I've ever seen way Stan why would you have something like this that weighs so much and then increases the weight of a portable unit that's very silly what else infrared why why is gonna be the worst method of data transmission ever not only is it ludicrously slow but particles of dust will literally slow it down and stop it it's not there's the power thing here is some other proprietary expansion thing I think that's where the serial port so you can transfer data at the speed of a dead slug and OLEDs that's always nice but what's inside the device itself no look the screens on can you see it barely let's turn L for a second um the keyboard is well what's that word begins with a stands with hit oh yeah not very good and it's got these spaced out keys which are incredibly difficult to type on as I shall demonstrate by attempting to touch type later I can't wait for that bit mm you've got function ease the contrast is surprisingly controlled by the keyboard as opposed to a little wheel that confused me at first but all the keys are here and it just frightens me that something with a relatively large physical keyboard is actually more difficult to type on than a bloody smartphone that's a design failure for you anyway let's see what it does shall we on here we are there's the desktop as you can barely see in fact I think the video camera is picking up better than the naked eye - Sam I can't see anything let's try putting the light on Shirley oh look can you hear that noise horrible whining sound never have them light on that's extremely irritating anyway it pays to be slightly better with it on so I shall leave it on okay using our ultra-modern touchscreen technology of ultimate destruction and death I'm gonna have to oh hang on sorry we have to do jump covers there's something in my eye back in a second oh that's better dear to me an eyelash you got stuck in the eye hurt a lot I had a big problem of that recently were filming on location for eight days and on day one on Frank's on the way to the location I managed to get an eyelash stuck in my eye painfully and then I didn't have anything with me to actually take it out so I think I had it in there for 36 hours in totally my I look like somebody poked it with a red hot thing anyway this is completely irrelevant I'm just trying to not look at this bloody thing again why did the lights go off was it to annoy me because it worked right look start button hey everybody remember those he should do the still in Windows I'm just using Windows 8 recycle bin My Documents my handheld PC the internet except of course we've got no method of connection it really doesn't like everyone does it oh god we've got an alert backup battery very low your backup batteries very low yeah thanks for pointing that I wouldn't have got that from the title at all or missing data loss May was like a a the battery's been dead years and when it bother replacing it did Co didn't he just pump stay one with the light as that cuz more on battery power of course your own battery power and use this at home plugged into the mains are you oh they're right to the internet inbox that'll be Outlook calendar wow I can put in all my important appointments like killing the person who designed the light feature for this contacts tasks Microsoft Pocket word microsoft pocket excels that even in focus on the camcorder i can't actually tell we may have to turn oh god no no let's just leave on oh well this is better than the game con right let's have a go at something show me I know I'm gonna type myself an important business letter because I am an important businessman who is just dumped four hundred ninety five five pounds on this thing right pop it down and I'm gonna get typing dear mr. flavour comma extremely unhappy with your surname it sounds and necess I can't even be bothered man that's horrible extremely horrible you cannot touch type on it you cannot type quickly it's very hard to find it this is actually the best I've ever typed on it you can see I've made it it's apparently lower yeah surprisingly low amount of errors and mr. flavour here is types of mr. Fleur war and I'm extremely unhappy with your survey the rest kind of works hmm also notice not that many buttons at the top a little bit sort of primitive but you probably would expect that from something of this screen size and control method but mmm not massively impressed if you can get tinier keyboards and this that you can type on half decently it wouldn't have heard them with it that was one of the big big bug barriers of this device at the time you couldn't type on it properly but hey we can load up Excel make an exciting spreadsheet go on then let's sum up how annoyed I am by this so far this is the first column do nori second column anger third column irritation or something vaguely close to that um let's give some values annoyance at three other said anger mmm only about one irritation all those up to six and now if we use the mighty autosum we've had oh it's horrible touchscreen such a delay on the touchscreen this was impossible to use it would be very patient and careful can you add those numbers up no you can't oh yes you can some of be 200 the auto something doesn't work as I expect now I'll never know that those numbers equal 10 oh well no do not Save Changes it's very irritating to use well the light stayed on that's something and tasks contact candidate couldn't get more dull we've seen all these things many years but for probably when we were at school and this hit old like me and all the computers with BBC micros um control panel databases My Documents Program Files records and windows ah no this is very good interesting for storage card and I use the term interesting loosely and this is where you can actually put data on other thing to read later and that's how you can install other interesting things again I use the word interesting under advisement right pics now this is an interesting little thing for you I put a couple of pictures in here just to show you how long it takes to render a JPEG right this is an excellent image is a picture of chef excellence and it is 1280 by 720 resolution or 720p as we call it if we want to sound like we work in video ready this is how long it takes to render it imagine looking at the internet on this it's still rendering there he is with his bulging face nearly at the Bob now oh yeah look at that text well it has automatically resized it that probably used quite a bit of its process of what imagine yes we know go away but yeah that's not a great rendition of the mighty chef is it there we are as I think this screen has something like four shades of gray and has it differ between them what do you flippin expect then this I found very interesting this is a photograph of me in a dingy it just gives up they can't remember it it's it's not even a particularly large picture but it can't handle it perhaps it's just an anti dingy circuit we may never know and this is the music from the beginning of my videos don't know I just won't play it I've had any way of playing it which is a little disappointing as you can imagine oh well so even look and see what's in the Start menu that might be exciting Start programs accessories we've got calculator and world clock communication we have all the gaff which we will be able to use games solitaire obviously office pocket outlook the internet and Windows Explorer what I'd it like to play solitaire on this I wonder answer a living hell I imagine I'm right I'm useless being more in color strangely enough that can go there no no that works fine look there we are we've found what this machine is good at wasting time on solitaire something to do on a long train journey maybe right is it OOP makes weird noises let's do that again sounds like a frog being tortured to death right exit and let's have a look at the games which are on here yes there are a couple various things I couldn't get to work but also good old jewel which is in no way a ripoff of Sega's columns yes it plays that tiny few notes over and over again thinks it's a good idea right yes I know this seems a bit primitive to you at home but rest assured it was primitive at the time as well right WUSA it said on the start or something and there we are moving form and lines and then you form lines things disappear I'm sure you're aware of this sorry but that my actual will to live is being sapped by this repeated music please tell me there's at least an option to turn it off imagine if there isn't a great music off ah and everything was better Oh game over even better still right quit oh no I can't kill it no off off that's good I've missed two simultaneous you turn the back when music on and off we've got a stranger shredding just music thing going on look just stop die go away never darken our door again and everything was better light please woody the light won't go on oh no the battery is dangerously low and it won't send the light on oh it's flattened the batteries well it's only what I'll go and get some more batteries and then we can see the other game and I will probably die of some kind of brain failure and we're back and marvelously you remember it was warning me about the dead backup battery well it wasn't joking because as soon as I replace the batteries I forgot everything and I had to do the whole startup sequence again including calibrating the screen which is always fun okay all that hassle for one more thing but it's worth it maybe I hope storage card I'm in CEO some presenter it's easier and some of the other things that works magic tower oh sorry monster tower remember the old game Dungeon Master eye of the beholder and all that well imagine that but really and that his monster tower we're walking forward at the moment unfortunately due to the way the graphics are setup you can't tell and you're walking forward other than the map thing here draws a small line yep the graphics show you nothing oh no no come on what okay this is a worry it's giving us the low battery thing yet again these are literally brand-new batteries I've just put in the other slight worry there you're supposed to get about 22 hours I have double-a batteries so these are superior modern batteries and yet we get nothing okay tell us what's going on yeah main battery's low look they're all fresh and new I just put them in well that's a bit of a worry can we quickly play this before everything dies oh here we are something's happened Co Brian Co Brian nope it's a company called Brian comes out oh good for him attack or escape let's attack him because he looks like just a load of old wrappings your attack Cobra and was damaged two points supposed to be a Cobra this an awful picture you were damaged two points Oh No let's attack it again it was damaged two points you were damaged two points attack it again it was damaged two points I to experience points and I now declare myself master of the universe blimey well that's a thing so there you have it that is the Casio Cassiopeia and if you're wondering to yourself what bloody use does this thing have that was kind of the problem at the time nobody found an answer to it it's too big to really carry around with you easily it's too fiddly to use and it's not really that good at anything meaning it was a 495 pound thing that nobody wanted and they still don't which is why somebody sent it to me you

Channel: ashens

Views: 1,166,901

Rating: 4.8571172 out of 5

Keywords: Casio Cassiopeia A-20E, Casio, PDA, handheld, PC, Windows CE, LCD, light, batteries, Microsoft, Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook, Monster Tower, ashens, review, funny

Id: Jiis0HqiHLU

Length: 22min 53sec (1373 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 09 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/DanezTHEManez]

When he said "can you hear that noise?" (referring to the whirring) i actually moved my head closer to my monitor and i was using headphones...

[u/lonemonk]

I emailed the Casio Support contact which was suspiciously: [e-mail]

Here was the (immediate) response:

Thank you for emailing Casio help and support. If you are having a problem with your "Cassiopeia A-20E" please note that the battery is always dead and the screen consistently turns off. This is as design.

Thanks, Casio support.

I do suspect I have been trolled by the good Dr. Ashens, but I'm glad it was him doing so.