Carrie Fisher Roasts George Lucas at AFI Life Achievement Award

ladies and gentlemen Carrie Fisher hi I'm mrs. han solo and I'm an alcoholic yeah I'm an alcoholic because George Lucas ruined my life I mean that in the nicest possible way 57 years ago I did his little Star Wars film a cult film that then went on to redefine what they laughingly referred to as the face of cinema and now 65 years later people are still asking me if I knew it was going to be that big of a hit yes I knew we all knew the only one who didn't know was George we kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression George is a sadist but like any abused child wearing a metal bikini changed to a giant slug about to die and I keep coming back for more only a man like George could bring us whole new worlds populated by vivid extraordinary characters and providing mark and Harrison and myself with enough fan mail and even a small merry band of stalkers it's lovely keeping us entertained for the rest of our unnatural lives George the fact that you made me into a little doll that my first husband could stick pins into a shampoo bottle where people could twist my head off and pour liquid out of my neck lather up with Leia and you'll feel like a princess yourself and yes the little PEZ dispenser so that my daughter Billie could pull my head back and pull away for out of my neck every time she doesn't want to do her homework I suppose I don't mind and though amongst your many possessions you have owned my likeness low all these years so that every time I look in the mirror I have to send you a check for a couple of bucks not to mention you had the unmitigated gall to let that the new girl who plays my mother Queen Amidala or whatever her name is she wears a new hairstyle and outfit practically every time she walks through a door I mean I bet she even got to wear a bra even though you told me I couldn't because there was no underwear in space I'm only slightly bitter because you my formerly silent friend are an extraordinary talent and less faces and artists the like of which is seen perhaps once in a generation who helps define that generation and who deserves every award I now spend the latter half of my lay late in life helping to hurl your way and in conclusion Your Honor I hope I slept with you to get the job because if not who the hell was that guy you

Channel: American Film Institute

Views: 4,018,808

Rating: 4.9544501 out of 5

Keywords: george, lucas, star, wars, carrie, fisher, princess, leia, chewbacca, han, solo, luke, skywalker, darth, vader, empire, strikes, back, return, of, jedi, revenge, sith, attack, the, clones, AFI, American, Film, Institute, life, lifetime, achievement, award, steven, spielberg, harrison, ford, laa, laa2005, 2005, new, hope, phantom, menance, anakin, r2d2, c3p0, hoth, death, awards

Id: lZ97s396kb0

Length: 4min 19sec (259 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 05 2009

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

All those Hollywood Big Wigs laughing at her abused child joke...

She really knows the crowd.

[u/Tmf278]

Most of this is material from her one-woman Broadway play "Wishful Drinking" based on her book by the same name. HBO filmed the entire play if you want to see all of her Star Wars material and much much hysterically more.

[u/bsurfn2day]

When she starts by saying "Hi, I'm Harrison Ford and I'm and alcoholic". It's an inside joke from when she did this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZEFznFE_Sk

[u/RotorNurse]

Merry band of stalkers! lol

[u/Redraider1994]

"Queen Amadillo or whatever her name is" LMAO

[u/onetimerone]

"3PO looking on with both his gold legs"

[u/operator-as-fuck]

Damn that was a really creative speech. Way to elevate a simple introduction/thank you speech to an impressive monologue. Perfect balance of heavy handed jokes and genuine appreciation of Mr. Lucas.

[u/dafuhh]

RIP sweet Princess

[u/MartySpecial]

Damn she was so funny! Gonna miss this crazy lady. :(