on average it takes about
nine goals to win the Euros but today I'm going to try
and win it without scoring any but to make sure this happens - we need a plan STEP ONE: if we're not scoring goals,
we can't get scored on either which means we need to pick a country
with the best defensive rating France is an obvious choice with 84 defence but
they've already won the tournament two times Portugal has won it Germany has won it Spain has won it we need to pick a country with the best
defensive rating that has yet to win the trophy and I'll give you a hint it rhymes with Ringland it's England we are bringing it home I hope now that we have our team it's
time for STEP TWO of the plan the group stages there are 24 teams in this competition but
only 16 can advance to the knockout stage and I've done the math and if all
three of our matches finished 0-0, there's a very good chance that we can advance the only problem is I've kept everything the
exact same way as it is in the real tournament and our first match is against Serbia basically the plan now is to
waste as much time as possible so of course I just started
passing it around the back but a bad pass quickly turned
into a great chance for Serbia no, no, no please okay this is not good - this is very bad there's no way they called that a hand ball! that's not a pen he was protecting his ball! all right we need to save this, he's going right yes we save it! that would have been horrible we probably
would have been eliminated if that went in I couldn't afford another mistake and spent the rest of the match keeping
the ball away from Serbia please no stoppage time - no stoppage time oh there's 1 minute oh I almost gave it away kick it out kick it out! there we go we have our first
point in the group stages we had 89% possession and I've never been so stressed but I do feel bad for the fans that paid
hundreds of dollars to come out and watch this I would want a refund who was waving that flag? Denmark is up next - zero points they lost to Slovenia in their opener let's see if we can get one point against them I came up with a new strategy in this match I'd flick the ball up and
head it into my keeper's hands but attempt one was rough I almost scored on myself Pickford what why aren't you picking that up? now he does but I soon got a hang of it oh this is a hack that is a hack right there well, until the 22nd minute don't mess it up - don't mess it up! no, no! yes, okay why did that even happen oh no no no no no this could be really bad defend it, defend with your lives what a block! please don't be a handball how is this so stressful we're just
supposed to keep the scorer scoreless we survived the first half please just another 45 minutes I need to get off this pitch if I somehow score on myself,
I'm going to be so angry NOOO NOO! good tackle that is literally the scariest moment of my life just a couple more minutes no no! there's no way please there's no way there's no way yes he missed! Dolberg just skyed it! that was such a bad miss the manager took him
off immediately even though there's no time left which also means that we have survived this match it may have taken some years off my
life but we do have our second point we're onto match three and we're actually second
in the group look at that! I didn't think Slovenia would
be our toughest match up but this point we need to get out of this match is the most important because
if we somehow lose this match our dream is over wait what happens if I just keep holding the ball? he's going to drop kick it right... oh no what is that pass - what is that pass! it worked out no no no no no no no this can't
be serious, they can't be serious they can't be serious it went off the crossbar! we're alive we're alive why is no one passing properly? but after that scare, I was able
to run the time off the clock there's no way... there it is there it is okay! I thought maybe the ref would
continue the play but we've made it three points, three matches was it enough to get to the knockout stage? they look pretty happy it looks like a good sign please please please please we made it through! who are we playing? where are we? Belgium in the round of 16 now it's great that we've made it to the
round of 16, but there's a slight problem we can no longer advance any further
in this tournament with a draw which is why it's time for STEP 3 of the plan the penalty shootout look before you say anything paz, you're going to get
goals in a penalty shootout that is not correct scoring during a penalty shootout does not add
to the tally of goals of an individual player ... or whatever the definition is so there you go this is not actually scoring goals we just don't need any
funny business in this match 120 minutes, and then we go
into the penalty shootout please we need to win this penalty shootout we need to go through to the quarterfinals Lukaku up first - he's going left he went right Kane won't miss from here... and he doesn't De Bruyne... same thing as Lukaku no he went left! Saka bottom left - please don't miss great pen that's not really bottom left though okay Carrasco... is he crazy,
he might go down the middle he didn't Declan Rice, bottom right don't miss how did he know? bottom right YES! okay we're still in this top left... Trippier great pen we got to save this one, Tielemans he's going bottom left what was I doing? yeah well we got to score or else we're eliminated that would be horrible at least we have Phil Foden
stepping up... pen number five there's no way Phil Foden is missing great pen okay we just have to get a save now come on Trossard he's going bottom right he went Panenka! cheeky boy! you know what we got to do... Bellingham steps up I swear if it doesn't go in don't ever Panenka me! right... YES! what a save Pickford! someone make sure he's okay
- he hit the post really hard Trent... to send us through to the quarterfinals am I crazy? maybe a little HOW DID HE KNOW?! how did he know? oh no... Doku left yes! another save you know what we're not going to
do a Panenka, that would be so dumb imagine I did a Panenka? ease it - of course I'm going to do a Panenka!!! we're off to the quarterfinals how did he know about that
earlier Panenka I don't get it Poland beat which means we are
playing them in the quarterfinals you know this is a video game
when Poland gets this far and I say this as a Polish fan it's it's been a tough few years now if I wanted to I could just go
penalty shootout after penalty shootout from the quarters all the way to the finals but I have another plan option one is to make the opponent get five red
cards so they're disqualified and we get the win but against the AI, I don't think it's going
to be really easy to get these red cards so that's why there's option two we will win against Poland by
making them score own goals from my research, the best way we can
do this is dribble past the keeper stop it on the line and have the
keeper hit it into their own net let's try and do it come on Saka no way... okay didn't - almost worked what if I just crossed it really hard oh he - he did it! in the 24th minute he just scored an own goal! he almost kicked Sczęsny's
head instead of the ball it was actually Sczęsny who scored it we have a one-nil lead now we just got to keep it,
and we're off to the semifinals and we're probably going to
have to play Slovenia again how are they doing so well in this competition? come on this is a good chance... come on another own goal ah come on flick flick! okay that was close close, but I think the cross is easier come on... own goal... that's a pen no I need the own goals not the pens! Poland one last chance before the final whistle... Buksa... loses it out no they still have it ref blow the whistle there it is! we made it to the semi finals,
who are we playing against? probably Slovenia right? Slovenia versus Hungary... Slovenia won we are playing them in the semi-finals and it's Germany or Italy if we get to the final why did we get so lucky on
our side of the bracket? look at the other side! Germany, Portugal, Italy, France the own goal plan worked against Poland
so we're going to try it against Slovenia 20 minutes in and I haven't
even had a good chance yet this Slovenian side is serious oh this is a good chance... very good chance around the keeper... no no no luck there oh they gave it away Bellingham... come on cross! oh it almost went in it actually almost worked all right Slovenia are good but they're not that
good, I don't think they're going to score on us oh no way... there's actually no way right when I say that great safe Pickford look, technically we can go
scoreless for the rest of this match and try to win it in a penalty shootout but what if we don't? we need to get this own goal to
make sure we get to the final and win England their first Euro trophy but the second half changed nothing
and we were off to extra time Slovenia are a great team I'll tell them that come on... score an own goal YES! yes it was an own goal! we have to double check, Saka
you're celebrating a little too hard but I'm pretty sure it was an own goal or else the challenge has failed VAR will confirm it now...
who got the last touch... it's an own goal, it's confirmed! Bijol! he scored an own goal! we are headed to the final we
just have to keep this lead now please we cannot let them score ' oh I'm actually... I'm shaking I'm shaking! there we go... run... get away from me get away get away get away we survived the first half of
extra time, 15 minutes to go boys lock in! it's time for a possession master class! Walker come here... oh no... oh no... how did I mess this up? three on one and they scored there's literally no way how did I mess that up?! I tried to be cheeky for 1
millisecond and that's what happens? all right well we got to win
it in the penalty shootout right we start this time
Harry Kane to set the tone... great pen weird animation, but great pen Iličić - he's going left he does! Pickford with a safe to start off the pen shootout Daka... do me proud he does great pen can we go back to back saves to begin? right I was going to stay in the middle! Rice... don't let me down son oh that was very close, that was
very close but it's looking good Horvat... the captain... he's going right how did you not save that? put this one away always happens left... YES! what a bad pen! we can win it now Phil Foden and steps up I would never do a Panenka
in such an important moment how do they know!? I could have won it - okay we can
save it though, we can save it and win left we're headed to the final we don't
need a Panenka to head to the final! who are we playing against? it's Germany a 3-1 win this is the moment we've all been waiting for can we get England their first ever Euro trophy?! or will Germany the host nation crush our dreams the game plan is simple we will make them score an own
goal on themselves and we will win we cannot let this go to a penalty shootout they have so many good pent
takers that we will not beat them we must do the own goals the problem is Germany is a
much better team than Slovenia I don't think we're going to catch him
being sloppy and scoring an own goal it's a good chance, 12th minute to the touch line Saka... nothing comes of it this is freaking it get in the net! YESS! I knew it! it's 1-nil in the 22nd minute Kyle Walker with the run and
Mittelstädt with the own goal! wow that was perfect this guy can't believe his eyes the clearest own goal we're going to get this game but now we have to lock in this could be two ah, it's not going to be two but that's okay we do have the
lead going into the second half assisted basically I guess by this man right here the game plan is not to sit back,
but try and get that second on goal can we make it two Kyle Walker... puts it across no one there please please please please! what a save...clear it no! that was way too close it is just not a 90th minute goal it always happens one final chance, for Germany... it's late in stoppage time clear! what a save! please please please p - p - p please please clear clear clear clear clear what is going on? it's still a corner 4 minutes of stoppage time are you serious ref?! and they're doing a substitution ? why did Gündogan, their literal Captain not start? I don't know what's going on,
but we got to clear this corner they have their keeper in the
box - imagine Neuer scores no way, no way, clear it and it's coming home! England are the champions of Europe
without scoring a single goal I hope you guys enjoyed this
video, and if you did subscribe I'll see you guys soon PEACE! also YouTube thinks you're going
to love this video, so click it in the middle of the screen right now you have like 5 seconds left like 2 seconds left quick!
