Oh, hey, that's a good book. That's a good one. It is. Yeah, sitting on the beach for dummies? No. No? No. Look at these big strong arms. So bu-- What are you readin' sir? How to get women. How to get women even though I have a wife. And that's the-- I got it but the audio version of that. This is the second book and then there's a third book Swimming in the water for dummies Cuz you start with this sitting on the beach and then you make your way to the water. No no no no no. Oh. You must be thinking of something different. Oh okay. You have a really big watch watch. Watch? Yeah. How do you mean? Thank you Siesta for not being racist. Chris, you could learn something from this sign. You mean siester. Siester. No! Chris! I'm gonna bleep out what he said. If I blank it out. Ey girl. What's up? Hi. How are you? I have some extra egg rolls if you want. Shut up, egg rolls? Boy, you crazy! Ey girl. I would love to but I hate eggrolls. So you wouldn't love to? That was... probably the best one. Yeah. Oh my god, it's Victoria's Egret. You're gonna put it like lingerie on it. Go catch it Put panties on it In a bra take pictures of it and then replace the signs that Victoria's Secret with Victoria's Egret put like pantyhose on its like legs on its little skinny legs Like they're loose and falling off. That's one of those ones with like the curved beaks that eats hands That's a chicken! Which one would you like you're sleeping on it? So you get to choose Really? Oh You'll just sleep on it and then we'll we'll come back here and pick you up in the morning No, no. No, I'm not actually buying it why would i It's way better deal if you just sleep here for a week, Oh take it. I'll take this one Yeah, test it out Mmkay yeah This one Booga Booga Silly me. Like Ralph Wiggum have to document this for tax purposes receipts Don't cut it nowadays When you get audited What you have to send in the video to the IRS? And we can before I pay we can load it up and test it out and drive around the block first Please hold It's all about perspective Oh yeah Life is just a giant perspective Mhmmm And at the end of the day whenever you try your best then that's all that matters There's your receipt I'm like trying to be really deep. It's like the most pathetic thing. You guys got a truck we'll load it up in the convertible We'll just load it in the glove box We'll just put it in Chris's pocket cuz he's rich and he has deep pockets. I gotta fart really bad Record it And um... I'm just-- Alright bye. Dude, she bought it. Dude, she actually believed me. Oh my god. I thought-- I didn't know I was that good of an actor. Now you don't have to go. Dude now I don't even have to go to the hospital! Now what can we do today, we can do anything we want! Take your dad's car out for a spin. Look, I can touch the roof. Freakin' crap. Man. I need to do handstands more. I hurt my shoulders. That's the benefits of not working out. Then when you do something active, you get hurt. Yeah, I gotta check my phone. Hold on. Just checkin' my phone. Is this your phone? No that's my phone. No, that's my phone, I was checkin' it. It's like, makes more sense to have an outlet in the ground than in the roof. We're just flexing on stranger's windows. Chris... get out of my freakin' video. You're making me look good. Oh. Will you put that back up? This kid's crackin' up. What are you doing? The window, it makes me look good. You like that? You like that?! Get this bicep, zoom it on that left bicep, bro. Mmm! Yeah! Ugh! I'm natural raging right now. Natty rage. That's what they call it. One reason I like you Chris's cuz you're so respectful of our guests. Oh, yeah, I don't wanna-- I don't want to impose And you're good now? I'm good to go. You're like kind of nervous cuz the new guy's like working with us and you're like I don't wanna like-- Annoy anyone. Oh my god. Don't look... now... but that man is holding a ghost. In his hands. I've never been able to see one. Do you think you can see it? That man is breastfeeding a ghost. He's a man. Sir, there's a ghost in your hands! That guy wasn't havin' it. He didn't want to say nothin'. Well, he probably didn't want to like yell back to you while he was holding the baby trying to put the baby to sleep It's like hey shut up. I'm trying to put this baby to sleep. No, no, no, don't put your baby to sleep, sir, please At least bring it to an adoption center Yeah, right, like let it like you literally don't touch your heels at all No I just run like that on my toes No way Wow Oh, that's a good book, oh, yeah, it's how to sit in the green chair by JK Rowling. Oh how to sit next to water and read a book By Robert Cialdini. Yeah, I like that one. I need a break gettin' tired Gettin' tough out here Whew Yeah, these are my stretchy pants. I wear them just for fun Oh hey, that's a good book how to attract men by Jerry Smith. Huh? That's a good book it's uh how to live life with a giant penis Get a zoom C'mon puppy, c'mon C'mon You can do it Go We get him to jump out then freakin' window dude, it's better when they're moving. It's not as funny if he jumps out and then he doesn't like roll a couple times Well, you just assume that everyone knows parkour especially dogs barkour Barking from point A to point B the quickest manner possible Dat funny Like caveman Dat funny! And there should be a laugh ha dat funny Chris have you ever skimboarded We're going skimboarding-- whoa whoa whoa Is that your pizza crust? Yah. Dude. Don't throw this away. There are starting quarterbacks in Africa on vacation that could eat this pizza crust. Their starting quarterbacks in high school that haven't met their calorie intake for the day. You're just gonna throw this pizza crust away yeah dude, it's like when you're working really hard and like no, none of you take a water break because the first person to do it, it's like a Wussy you throw that pizza crust away I wasn't expecting to be able to take it home Oh you thought it was gonna be way too big Alright, we'll see Alright well, if it falls out I'm gonna sue the sewage facility aka attorney's office just don't record my address Just don't record up his dress You got it right bro, I just drop it That doesn't hit the same way the one in the store hit I don't have my makeup on It's okay me neither You guys are good What do you mean come on please take it Take my card 's not gonna fit. This is fine I'll be able to drink it from here, I think It's like a water bottle in a hamster cage Yeah, I'll just poke a hole in the bottom with the straw I'm your little hamster That's gonna... make such a mess. I won't spill it this one should fit. All right. Thank you Wait, now how am I gonna put this down and actually bring away but You gonna have to have me roll the window down you want me to roll the window up Like legit stuck right now don't move a muscle I did it
