Let the games begin. That's the sweet taste of triumph. Okay. Thank you. Pigeons still here? Yeah. No matter what we do, he just won't leave. The problem is, you're thinking like detectives. No, I'm definitely not. When you should be thinking like a bird. This is Operation Saving Private Pigeon. On my mark, I will turn on this fan, gently startling our bird due east into the file box canyon, where he will encounter Charles holding two pot lids. He'll bang them together, forcing Private Pigeon into the ceiling there and out of the ceiling there, where he will be greeted by Scary Rosa holding a scary picture of an owl. Now he's playing our game. He'll veer left into an upside down garbage can, propped up by a hockey stick, and connect it to a string that Gina is holding. She pulls it, he's trapped, and Terry releases him outside. Terry hates birds. Okay, little friend, let's get you home to mama. No. Oh, God. It flew right into the fan. It's everywhere. There's pigeon everywhere. Hey, Boyle, I know you haven't had Peralta as a secondary in a while. Be careful. It can be rough. Hey, saboteur. That's not true. I happen to be a very good secondary. So you were just borrowing those cars? Ask about his bank account. Ask about his bank account. Ask him about his bank. Account. You should ask him about his bank account. Captain Santiago broke the glass. I pity the lot of you. You look out there and see a problem. I look out there and see an opportunity. I'm going to slide on that slippery floor all the way from Holt's office to the elevator. You're going to do the fbp. That's right. Rosa, I'm doing the full bullpen. Here we go. Yes. I can't stop. The full bullpen! I'm gonna go take another crack at Whitman. You've been in there, like, five times. What are you gonna do, annoy him into talking? Haha. Two. Three. Four. Ahhhh! Didn't work. Q did not work. What is going on? Holt's been in a bad mood all week. Did somebody do something to set him off? Jake. Are you seriously asking why Captain Holt is mad? What do you mean? The Wednesday incident? Hey, hey. Just closed my 10th felony of the month, and I thought we could celebrate. Might I remind you that this is a police precinct and it's 10 o'clock in the morning? I thought you might say that. That's why this is not alcoholic sparkling cider. There's absolutely nothing you could be mad about. Uh oh. Three hour delay with no Holt or Terry. Do you have any idea what this means? Makeovers? No. Charles. The Jimmy Jab games. Yeah. The first Jimmy Jabs were held in 2008 when the king of Iraq. President Iran. Ahmed Jimmy Jab. Ahmadinejad. Came to New York and we were on call for nine glorious hours in case there were protests. On that day, a young genius named Jake Peralta used the last piece of his bagel to create the first Jimmy Jab event, the Monster Mouth Bagel Toss. Oh. And the rest was history. As soon as Holt and Terry leave, we will commence with Jimmy Jabs seven, Circus of Fools. Jimmy jabs, jimmy jabs, jimmy jabs, jimmy jabs, jimmy jabs. Jimmy jabs. My fellow detectives, ours is not an easy job. The hours are long, the danger is constant, the pay is LOL. But today a glimmer of hope, for today a new vending machine. Behold him in all of his glory. So full of strength and promise and most importantly, sodium, gluten and fat. Woo! The time has finally come to christen the machine. Boyle, the champagne. Well, technically it's a Hungarian pessego from the Tarnok Valley. For once in your life, don't ruin it. Give him the bottle. Thank you. I hereby christen thee Snacky Chan. Okay, well, at least it was just the keypad. None of the snacks got messed up. Whoa! Go! Oh, boy. Okay, okay. No, it should have been me. It should have been me! Nice costume, Peralta. No Peralta here. Just a normal janitor pushing trash around. Come out of there. Captain. Hey, you really thought this was going to work? Uh, it did work. This whole janitor gambit was designed to fail. It's just like in chess. Sometimes, in order to win, you have to sacrifice your king. That's exactly how you lose at chess. Have you ever played the game? Yeah. I used to play with my uncle Bob all the time, and he said I was great. This is a game of concentration, Jake. So focus your mind. Start shooting. Now you're a master of chess, huh? He taught me how to shoot backgammon, too. I expect a better view. You could have at least created a diversion to distract me from your terrible costume. Uh, I'm not a dumb butt, I had a diversion planned. There was just a slight timing issue. Oh my God. Get down, everyone, there's a big fire. Captain, you better head over there for, like, 15 minutes and see what's going on with that. Beware of the backdraft. I'll be in your office. You have beautiful eyes. Have it your way. But you're gonna need this and that. It's filthy in there. Gather around glorious turd monsters and feast your eyes on what I hold in this hand. The future of movement. A hoverboard. I don't understand those things. Is walking really so hard for you? Oh, I am walking's a nightmare. Yeah, amy. Now, friends eat my space dust. No. Okay, well, harder to control than I thought. Okay. There we go. Woo! I think I'm getting the hang of it. No I'm not. Oh, I'm all right. Hahahahaha! No! Oww. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. You got this. No, I do not got this, Terry! Don't let go of me! The future of movement is now. I wish Captain McGinley never left. He was the best. He was terrible. Just liked him because he let you do anything you wanted. On your marks. Get set. Go! What the hell's going on around here? Fire extinguisher roller chair derby. Okay. And go! What's your point? And with a record five felonies solved in one week, Peralta pulls ahead. Did you guys hear that i solved five felonies in one week. We heard. Really how? Five felonies in one week. Light him up, Boyle. That's the sweet taste of triumph. We're off. You'll get word when the Serbian president is wheels up. You got it, Sarge. We'll just be here till you get back. Calmly and respectfully. Prepping. All right. They're gone. Ceremonial bagel. Flask. Flame. Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy jabs. Ha ha ha ha! Let the games begin. Hey hey hey hey hey. What the hell's going on here? Science experiment. I want to see what happens if I taser this cantaloupe. Okay? Hey hey hey hey hey. Whoa whoa whoa. Yeah. Wait. Where's Jake? Well, there's a TV card suspiciously in the middle of the room. That's ceiling tile is out of place. And he said he was going to hide somewhere reckless, so I'm guessing he's up there. That's right. Amy, I'm in the ceiling. Unlike you boring old fogies, I found the craziest. Ah. Don't worry. My bones and ribs broke my fall. Oh, good. You didn't jump. What's going on? Is everything okay? Yes. I just need to flick this switch and turn off the old alarmeruno. Yep. Must have been the wrong switch. But this one. Turns on the sprinklers. And apparently does not turn them back off. This is going to be rough. Turns out taking a ton of random pills is really bad for you. Everything hurts. Yeah, I'm like 50 50. gonna die. On your mark. Get set! Dazzle me freaks. Uhh. First you must make your way past the barricade hurdles. After the hurdles, you must fish a dollar coin out of a gross clogged up sink of nightmares. Ah, you'll use that money to buy a hot dog. After you eat the entire dog, you'll return to the break room, where you must extract an olive from the windpipe of a Heimlich practice dummy. Why are you using your mouth for everything? The winner will be the first person to sit in the Ringmaster's throne. Oh! Surprise twist. To get to the throne, you must break through a breach training door. What? Why are you making this so hard on me? It's all for the show, Jake. The greatest show on earth. All right, fine. I can do this. For my wife. Yeah, it didn't work. My skeleton feels like it's made of Skittles. I can't do it, Amy. Yes you can. Okay. You just need a little energy. And Debbie's EpiPens are full of adrenaline. Is that a smart thing to do? Probably not. But sometimes it's good to be a little irresponsible. That could make me sick. It's better than losing our car. I mean, is it because- Ohh ha ha! I will never die! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Jake is champion. Congratulations. You inherit the circus. I did it! I don't want the circus. Thank you for joining me for what promises to be the diggity dopest tree lighting in the history of the Nine-Nine. I don't understand, where's the tree? It was inside of us all along. Brilliant, Jake. No, Charles. Not everything was inside of us all along. The tree is right here. Cool. Can we go now? Obviously not. Behold the greatest inflatable tree that 'merica has to offer. And now, in the immortal words of Saint Nick, turn on the compressor. You hear that? It's the sound of Christmas. It's deafening. It's getting really big. What size tree did you get? It's a jumbo. It says it's ten meters tall. That's roughly 32.81ft. Someone unplug it. Unplug it now! We can't. It's swallowed his own plug. Everybody run! Okay. The tree has been contained. Wait. We left a man behind. Jake! Well, Terry's trapped in the break room forever. The only thing we can do now is move on with our lives. It's what Terry would have wanted. God bless us, everyone. Yeah! That's fine work, detective. Thank you very much, sir. Testament to what can be achieved when you dress appropriately. Let's pound it out. You know what? Such fine police work. Let's share it with the whole team. Santiago. Boyle! Diaz, get in here. Bring everyone and a camera. That's not necessary. Let's have a hand. Oh, their here. The work of the fine master detective Jake Peralta. Yeah. Let's have a hand. Everyone give him a hand. Yeah. Nice. Looking good. Thank you.
