[Intro] You asked for it, and now it's here. If you didn't ask for it, it's still here. You Suck At Cooking Available everywhere books are sold. Now let's make some soup. We're gonna start by hunting down some wild deciduous cheddar. It's getting pretty close to the end of the season, so just get whatever you can. If you're lucky, you might be able to still get some nuggets. Oh, yeah, look at that nug. Perfectly ripe. Now let's try to find some broccoli. A lot of people don't realize broccoli's from the evergreen tree, because broccoli's not from the evergreen tree. It's a fungus that grows on old fallen logs. Bingo. Now we're gonna extract some fresh veggie broth. We need 4 cups in total. I've never used one of these broth extractors before, but I think you just... Yeah, attach that.. 'kay then... It will start by extracting from the carrot *Broth extracting noises* Perfect. Okay, we'll extract some yam broth... Ope! Okay, whoa! I think that's good. Hey Siri, turn off the broth extractor. Siri: I'm not sure what you mean, could you rephrase that? YSAC: No, no, no, no, no! Stop! - Siri: Sorry, I didn't hear.
- YSAC: Come on, come on. Alright, alright. - Siri: Make sure you're on the same Wi-Fi...
- YSAC: Turn it off! - Siri: ..access set up in the whole map.
- YSAC: Somebody call somebody! *exhales*... Okay, I panicked. I... I forgot about the switch. You know, there's nothing wrong with buying broth or using bullion cubes. Nothing wrong with that at all. Now we're gonna take some time to repair the broccoli's self-esteem, since most kids are raised to think broccoli is bad. Hey. Look. You're okay and you're enough. You're smart... I think? And you're green enough to do anything you want, especially be in a soup. You think cookies are better than you? Just because everyone likes them better than you, doesn't mean anything other than everyone likes them better than you. And you're way better than that jackass kale. And don't even get me started on crispy water, So you got that going for you? Amen. Now that the broccoli is feeling better about itself, gently lay it on the cutting board and give it a good smash, or pretend it's the 1930s, or get out your yellow belt. (Grunts) Dah! You want to break those down pretty small, and we'll need six cups total fungus. Now we're gonna heat up that broth until it starts to boil then reduce it to low and add the broccoli. We'll leave that in there for 25 minutes. This is one instance where boiling is better than baking because we're gonna drink that broccoli water. After 25 minutes, take it off the burner and let it cool for 10 minutes. Then it's time to use an immersion blender, also known as the spinny stick, also known as the decimation wand, also known as the Rotating Shredjangler. How do you use this thing? Well, the instructions are
built into the name; you immerse it. Otherwise you get molten soup splatter. So make sure it's off before you pull it out. But if you don't like the smash shaft you can also go to town with the hand masher for a chunkier soup. But if you don't have a hand masher or a breakdown baton, you can use a blender. Let it cool for 10 to 20 minutes first before you carefully pour it in, then open or take out the stopper and hold a towel over it. This lets the hot air out so it doesn't explode. But blenders are for smoothies, So let's get back to that rekt sceptre. Once that's broken down to your personal level of non-chunkatude, you can start working in two cups of shredded deciduous. Don't forget to check for WABS and add more salt or bullion if necessary, and as much Triple P as you like. When you serve it don't forget to sprinkle some of that deciduous cheddar into a smiley face, to make the soup look inviting. This helps win over the cookie-loving broccoli-haters. Four ingredients, tastes great. Super easy, as long as you don't have to clean the pot. The easiest way to clean cheese on the pot, is to put it in a sink, then gently lift it and throw it in the trash. But if you don't want to throw out your pot, use really hot water and soap with a scrub brush. Once that's clean, use another scrub brush to clean the cheese off that brush. Okay, that was supposed to be a joke, but it actually worked really well. [Music] ♫ Stomach is ♫ ♫ Rumbling ♫ ♫ Think I need ♫ ♫ To fill it with something big ♫ ♫ My hunger is on the brink but soup's not food ♫ ♫ It's just a chunky drink ♫ ♫ Need to stock ♫ ♫ Pretty fast ♫ ♫ But something dry ♫ ♫ That doesn't splash ♫ ♫ Keep that soup away from me ♫ ♫ Because I want food ♫ ♫ Not Cheddar Broccoli Cheese ♫ ♫ Soup isn't food ♫ ♫ Cuz you don't have to chew ♫ ♫ If you do have to chew ♫ ♫ It's still mostly a drink with chunks ♫ ♫ Yeah, don't you think? ♫ [Music continues]
