No. I mean that's awesome and weird. - Wow, OK. Turn it down.
- It's really hot. That was one of the weirdest things
I have ever experienced. Hi I’m Josh. I'm Ollie. And today we're reviewing the most shamelessly
commercialized Jesus products The Internet has to offer With a real priest. Jesus has the most star power of anyone in
history right? Forget sex, Jesus sells. Okay, okay we've started already. Not a sentence I thought I'd hear any time on this channel. Anyway, for the last three months, I’ve
been searching and finding stuff on the internet. - Can I keep some if it's good?
- It's all for you, Chris. - How about he has to keep it all.
- No, Jenny will kill me. - Jenny will be like , "Get that out of the house!"
- Well first off. Wow, I’m quite excited, it's like Christmas! Jesus themed confectionery. What! Jesus lives cross pop, and bookmark. This is a cultural car crash in my mind, I
have no idea what I want to do with this. This takes it to another level.
Scripture candy. This would be good to maybe help the kids
learn scripture. It's like, if you can tell me what this is,
you get the sweet. I don't know if that's okay or not. This is weird! Wait, let's test you.
Matthew 5, verse 9. You want me just to tell you
what Matthew 5 verse 9 is? You're a priest! Uh... Blessed are the poor?
Blessed are the peacekeepers? For they shall see God? - They're called...
- God's children! - Like, you don't give these out of church, right?
- No. Do you think you would? I think at Easter, yeah, it'd be fun. Also, cross shape, not practical for a lollipop,
like this is... not a comfortable experience! The next one is Wonder Bible! This looks proper, it's got some weight to it! Yeah, man there's a lot of words in there! I thought that said "Lord"! "That the Lord God made the Earth and the Heavens," "and every plant of the field before it was in the Earth," "and every herb of the field before it grew." This is so intense! The guy from Royal Mail rang my doorbell, and he's holding the thing,
and it's literally going... " But there went up a mist!" Like inside the thing, and he's like, "I don't know what this is." And he's like, "Can you take it?" And I was like, "Oh, don't worry, it's a bible thing." And he's like, "Okay..." It includes 10 meditation music tracks! Nice! All right, guy.
Are you with me? - This is so weird.
- It's loud as well. There is a rather light booklet. Oh my gosh, that's the manual. Oh, I thought that was the bible
but that's just the instruction leaflet. Heaven or hell? - No, no!
- Wow. I'm going to gift this to someone, because I've got a lady in our church
who's not got very good eyesight. Well, we're now moving from audiobooks
to real books. - 'Finding Jesus'.
- Oh nice! Oh, man. That's awesome! "You found Wally, hallelujah!" "Now it's time to find Jesus!" See who can find Jesus first,
wait what does he even look like in this? Is he like floating, does he have a halo,
how do we know? Surely he's standing on the water somewhere. Oh, I found him, I got him. And you're right
he's standing on the water.I've got him. Mate, I'm in on this, this is great. - I'm gonna do this with Rose.
- Wow, so this is a keep for you? - This is a heaven..?
- This is a heaven gift. - Next up.
- Wow. "The Good Book".
Oh, I feel like this might be dodgy. Ohh! How do I feel about this, I'm not sure... Not sure.... - Some holy water in there?
- There is nothing in there. Heaven or hell? Uh, hell! Okay, not a fan of this one? Well, I mean it's a bit insulting. OK. Next up. No... I mean, that's awesome and weird. - Dancing Jesus.
- "Dancing with Jesus"! Okay, if he was dancing better than that
but it's just like... He's doing the Carlton! So you're saying if Jesus was a dancer
he'd be the best dancer. Well, he'd be better than that. "Are your dance moves unrighteous?" - No, it doesn't say that!
- Yeah! "The Temptation Tango". - Come on.
- It's so problematic. - Oh no...
- What was that? "The Judas Hustle"! Oh, no, no, no. I didn't look through that one! If you're a huge fan of that book, you could buy the accompanying figurine. We got "Disciples Conga". Oh my gosh! Alright, this is a whole new sub-genre of
Jesus related products. - The action figure.
- Wait what? We've got this... - "Buddy Christ"?
- "Buddy Christ", that's from dogma, isn't it? With Ben Affleck. Got this... Glow in the dark Jesus?
That's, yeah, that's cool. How many Jesus figurines do you have? Stretch Jesus. - No!!
- No!! And these are the ones that arrived! Mate, this is cool, I actually have a little table in my office. I've got Jesus, a Saint Michael, a Mary. - You've already got the figurines?
- Saint Francis. Yeah. - This is just good for your collection! Wow!
- Good for the collection. Yeah, love it. Like a doll's house but with Jesus. For adults. Like Jesus Action Men. - Yeah!
- Yeah! I'm a bit weird.
That's Oh, this is bendable,
not stretchy. Oh, okay, so you can be like, "Praise him!" "Come to me!" Wait, does he bend over? Oh my gosh, wow. No. Wow, that is rubbish. That was expensive! We're now entering the premium phase. - Oh no, how much money was spent on this?
- Premium. The Grilled Cheesus sandwich maker. Why did you buy this? This was expensive. I'm very happy to receive this. Why are Christians so obsessed with making
Jesus and bible puns? Because they're known for their sense of humour. - I'm quite excited!
- What's the worst that can happen? - Oh, that's hot! That's got hot!
- Careful, flipping heck! Don't put your hand on it! - Want a Jesus tattoo?
- OK! That's not, - Jesus brand more like.
- Don't do that, don't do that! Seriously! Oh wow,
that's kicking off some heat now! Wow, that is hot I can feel that! That's the power of Christ. OK. That.. you know. Wow, it's smoking! - It's really hot!
- Is this OK? Smoking a lot. Wait, wait, wait. Let's.. OK. - Ham, we've got any ham?
- No. Oh, no ham. Quick! It's really hot. Turn it down, is there not a dial? Can you turn it down? I don't know,
this is gonna set off the smoke alarm. We need to take this out. Open a window, unplug it. It's burning! Oh my goodness gracious me! This wasn't thought through, guys. All right, it's literally melted
the outside of the case. What? What, its own self? Can I just say for the amount of money I spent on that... Not worth it? Oh, no. I mean, I'm amazed that it still worked! I don't think I want this one. Okay, this one's going to hell. This one's going somewhere... The next one I went on Alibaba
and I just searched Jesus portrait. OK... And I came back with... This could be good. - Oh, my gosh.
- No! I want that.
That is epic! I mean, in a weird way, right, it's just saying that Keanu Reeves is a saint
because if it was truly a depiction of Jesus He'd probably have holes in his hands. Okay, so that's your main problem with this. In a way, you can get around it by just going
Keanu Reeves, he's a saint. - What do you think?
- I mean he's not Jesus, let's be clear but, Everyone likes Keanu Reeves. You'd put that up in your church? No, not in a proper space
where we worship. You'd put it in your office? Probably not in my office. In the hallway leading to your office? Still probably not. Oh, okay. I don't know where I'd put this... - In the toilet near your office?
- Maybe. On the wall of the toilet,
not in the actual toilet. Let's be honest. If this was going to go anywhere,
it would probably go in the JOLLY set, it feels at home. I've got one more thing for you, Chris. There is a guy on the internet. Oh no. Okay it's obviously going bad already,
"There's this guy on the internet". Who claims that his name is Jesus H. Christ. Right. And through Cameo, you can request... - Oh no, Ollie. Oh no.
- Messages. And I know that... You got a message from Jesus? Chris is worried. A few weeks ago you were complaining to me
that people sometimes doze off during your sermons, Go for toilet breaks,
they don't pay attention properly. No one dozes off in my service! Denial. I asked Jesus H. Christ to record a message that you can play before your sermons. Wow. - To make sure congregation members are puckered up and ready.
- Puckered up! I must say, I wasn't delighted with what he sent back. The outcome... But I paid quite a lot of money for it so
I'm going to show you it anyway. You're in too deep, now. Oh, my gosh!
Here you go. You've got to see the result. "Hello, you imperfect sinners.
It's me your favourite Lord and saviour, Jesus. "Hallelujah". "And unless you want to find somewhere else
to go when you die, listen up." "Because Reverend Chris has some vital facts about Jesus that you need to hear." "So, silence those cell phones," "Make sure that you don't take any restroom breaks
and listen very carefully." Hold your bladder! "Because Reverend Chris has a very important message
for you." "So brothers and sisters," Why's he suddenly become a boxing announcer? "Let's get ready to worship!" Oh, no. That was one of the weirdest things
I have ever experienced! I mean, thank you? You're welcome. You can use that now every Sunday before your sermon. Hmm. I probably won't load that up to the church
but maybe I should do some Cameos. Because I could do better than that. All right, well, that's been the weirdest Jesus
products I can find on the internet. - In the meantime.
- We'll see you JOLLY soon. - See you later
- Bye.
