Breakthrough in 2022 Tony Robbins Ultimate Breakthrough

[Music] welcome back again it's tony robbins i'm very excited about the session because one of the biggest challenges for people is everybody wants a better quality of life everybody wants life to be greater but almost all of us get stuck at times where something stops us something prevents us from doing something that we really are capable of doing whether it's turning around our body or shifting a relationship or turning around our finances or just maybe just being happy and fulfilled at a different level we get stuck with a belief of how we're not supposed to be what we're not supposed to do what people won't accept what we're not capable of or maybe we get stuck in an emotional pattern just being pissed off or frustrated or worried or sad or overwhelmed sometimes we get stuck you know not so much in anything but some just some habits of doing things a certain way and what a breakthrough simply is is that moment in time where there's an opening and the opening can come from a conversation it can come from meeting somebody that inspires you it can come from an insight it can come from watching a movie and being moved emotionally just that right moment it usually comes because something kind of clicked inside of us something snapped us and made us look at life through a different filter in a different way and you know it's a real breakthrough because you take that little insight that little distinction that little moment or maybe that little or big emotion inside of you that says no more i'm gonna change this and suddenly you do something to make your life better you break out of the impossibility of life has to be this way or life is controlling me and you start to take back control of your life you start to make the shift that creates the quality of life that you really deserve everybody experiences extreme stress at some point in their life i don't care who we are something happens outside our control and it hits our life and it knocks us on our tail it might be a health stress it could be something with your family it could be economic career it could be something emotional that happens biochemical there's so many things it could be an environmental situation they have nothing to do with you every one of us in our lifetime are experiencing extreme stress and these days because of the economy and the way we respond to it the majority of people are experiencing some form of extreme stress at least according to polls stress doesn't come from the facts stress comes from the meaning that we give the facts yes those things have happened but the real question is if we fight what's happened we got a problem we gotta decide what are we gonna do with what's happened in our life how are we going to take this how are we going to mold this how we're going to turn our life around because when you come up with a new meaning you get a new life so what are we going to do in this session well in this session we're going to take a look at something from a different perspective we're going to ask you this question what is the single force that controls the quality of your life if there was one gift our creator has given us or the universe whatever you believe what is it what is the one power that you have right now in this moment that can change everything you have it i have it we all have it it's this one singular individual power that can change anything in our life regardless of what's happened to us and i know you know the answer the answer is the power of choice the one thing we have in this world is we can't control the events but we can choose what to focus on we can choose what things mean and we can choose what to do those three choices those three decisions really control our life it's not so much the conditions of our life that control our destiny as much as the decisions of our life try for a second to think about something think about your life and just think about are there a few decisions if i were to ask you two decisions you've made in your life you know that if you would have made a different decision you would have a totally different life i mean it may be a life may have been better or may have been worse i don't know but you would have different life i'm not asking it to to buy into the fact that you should have known the answers i just want you to see the power of a decision how is your life better today because the decision you made years ago not just negative ones think about it sometimes a little decision changes your whole life like you decide one day to go to a certain school and you go to that school or to go eat someplace and you bump into the person that becomes the love of your life or you meet someone and you decide as a result of that that you're going to become a photographer or a software engineer or a business person or a doctor or a dentist whatever they impacted you but you made the decision that's what i really want that's what that's what my life's going to be about and that decision has affected so much of your life what you do how you live your life how you spend your time what you earn or don't earn you know who you attract into your life beliefs you have all come from some of these little decisions what you decide to eat from your dinner plate each night certainly determines your physical destiny right we all know that at least to a certain extent i know there's a certain amount that's genetics but i'm talking about the stuff you and i can control so decisions equal destiny it's not our conditions it's our decisions so if we want a new life if we want a new experience we got to make new choices if you don't like the way your career is or your business is change it if you don't like your body change it you don't like your relationship change you first because if you change it you'll bring you to the next one maybe it's time to change it too but change yourself first if you want to change any of your life you have the choice so there is no right or wrong i just want to make you aware in this breakthrough session that everything in our life changes the moment we make a decision and i mean a real decision a decision is when you cut off any other possibility and you commit to something with everything you've got and you take action but the big decisions start with little decisions like what am i going to focus on because whatever you focus on you're going to feel if you focus on all the things that have been done to you in your life of course you're going to feel like hell if you focus on all the amazing coincidences that have happened things that maybe they were guided maybe not but things happen and because of that you met this person that's your best friend your husband your wife or because of that you have this ability or because you were there that day god you missed an accident i don't know what it is but whatever you focus on you're gonna feel if you focus on people don't care and you'll look for reasons why they don't care and evidence they don't care you'll find it everywhere if you look for evidence that people are really good people inside that at some level we all care about each other you'll find it seek and you shall find the secret is have you become conscious about your decision making because this breakthrough session is really you want to change your life make new choices new life comes from new choices but you got to make conscious choices the people in this particular television special melissa and her husband they really found themselves in a place where they were both making decisions mostly that were unconscious when you make decisions about what to focus on and what things mean what to do when you're unconscious you get pretty terrible results usually now we've all done this i do it still we all do but if you want to change your results you got to become more conscious in your decision making so think about it what you focus on you will feel whether it's true or not you focus on how people don't care you're going to feel they don't care second decision you make is what things mean so you focus on something someone does and you come up with a meaning and the meaning is no one loves me the meaning is they're tending to take advantage of me depending on what meaning you come up with and you get to choose the meaning of anything for some people they say this situation happened with the economy and what that means is i'm going broke somebody else said the situation happened with the economy guess what that means i'm going to work harder i'm going to be more creative it changed everything everybody else is going to quit so we're going to dominate the marketplace for people to do it is this the end right now or is it the beginning see whether it's the end of beginning is your choice you get to decide because once you make up a meaning it's true if you think this is the end of a relationship are you going to treat people the same ways if you think it's the beginning of relationship no way in fact i tell people if you want to have a great relationship think about this treat people like you did in the beginning of the relationship there won't be an end in the beginning of the relationship when somebody says to you would you take out the trash what do you say of course take up the trash you're happy to do anything right but after about six months or six years you could take them at the trash and go what do you mean why i look like your janitor take out your own trash the meaning we give things is very different and so we feel different and our life is different in the beginning you'll do anything for someone now you make up a new meaning why should i have to do that for them little choices like what to believe about yourself what to believe about other people whether this is the end of the beginning start to affect your whole life and the third decision we make we decide what to focus on most of us unconsciously we decide what things mean and the third thing we decide is what are we going to do we decide to quit because it's overwhelming we decided to get strong and focused we decided we're going to turn it around decide to wait and see ultimately your destiny is determined by what you do so for example what do you do if somebody comes to you one day and says you have a tumor again i have that experience i use that as a reference point because i've had a lot of intense experiences in my life but that was one of the more intense ones for sure have many but that was very intense you know first what do you focus on if you focus on it's over do you focus on why me you give it a meaning that says i'm gonna die what do you do just go through traditional therapeutic approach you put yourself in the hands of someone else you evaluate this do you get a second or third opinion your destiny is determined by your decisions now if you're a guy like lance armstrong you focus immediately on i gotta find a solution the meaning you come up with is this is the ultimate battle what you decide to do is you're gonna exhaust every possibility now that doesn't guarantee you're going to succeed but it's interesting when you have that kind of a mindset it shifts you and that's armstrong i mean he was told things like look you got you got tumors here in your brain you got them in your lungs right you got obviously in testicles and you ride a bike for a living that's pretty tough but he made it to all those pieces now am i saying because he made the right choices i can't tell you that there's certainly some grace in everything i think in life there's three things there's our ability to choose what we're focused on or to commit to get a result to put all our intention and focus into something there's our ability to do the right things to have the right strategy to execute and then there's some grace there's what some people call luck some people call grace there's if you do the right things over and over again with total focus sometimes you know you get good fortune that comes your way and you tend to have more good fortune when you're totally focused and decisive and you take lots of action than if you kind of just sit around and accept things like but you don't have a future but the point of the matter is this guy turned it around what was he like after he got through this problem after he had his breakthrough after he faced cancer racing against some other guy seemed like nothing by comparison you're not much of a competitor i faced death and he goes on to win tour de france after twitter friends after tour de france breaking every record anyone could ever imagine what do you do decades ago half a century ago almost now and someone says to you go to the back of the bus and you're african-american one woman just decided you know what you can't take my dignity from me i can only give that up and i don't choose to give it up and i will not go back to the bus the answer is no rosa parks changed an entire society because that day she chose to focus on something else she gave it a different meaning this is not a command you do not have control over me and she decided to fight and she changed the direction of a country and of many other countries she started something we forget that you don't have to be famous to have the ability to change at least your own personal history to change the direction we go in our life we have the power to choose even if you haven't before you can finally say no more i won't put up with that within myself or from anybody else and here's what i'm going to do differently that's where the breakthroughs really start to happen now the question is why do some people stand their ground and make something change versus other people just kind of accept things why do some people make bold decisions and other people make decisions that are based on trying to hang on to what they've got well that's a more complex question to answer that we might have in a few minutes in this one session but it is one that i've spent my life studying because when you can change your decisions you can change your life when you can change the force that controls your decisions you can change anything in your life at some level we have certain beliefs and values but if i was going to make it simple i'd say there's two things that determine your choices the first thing is the state of mind and emotion you're in at that moment think about it have you ever snapped at somebody and had nothing to do with them it was just the state you're in right you're frustrated you're pissed off about something and in that state of mind whatever they said got interpreted through that state and you made up a meaning like they're an irritant or they're interrupting you they weren't you probably felt bad afterwards when we get in the wrong state we make the wrong decisions when you get in a strong empowering state you'll make a better decision learning how to direct your state is a big part of what my work is with people and it's a big part of what i do on my seminars but the other thing that affects your decisions would be what i would call your story or your blueprint we all have kind of a story about how our life is supposed to be it comes from a set of life experiences interpretations some people think life is all about getting theirs some people think life is about growing and contributing some people think life is about making judgments some people think life is about saving other people's lives some people think life is about being successful some people think god is the basis of everything and the way to know god is to go through life in a very specific way with a set of rules and they follow it and that's what they believe whatever your story is whatever your blueprint your blueprint is just another way of saying whatever you believe is how your life is supposed to be at some level we either follow that blueprint or we fight it if we follow it or we fight it we're going to find that we're going to bump into things in life where life isn't always the same as we expected to be or think it should be and that's where we start to experience stress so in this session of breakthrough when you watch this story and you saw melissa you saw the conflict between what she desired most and what she feared most i really believe life is the dance between what you desire most and fear most that's where you find where we live our life the dance between what you want most and what you fear most that's that's where all that energy is in life so what does she want she wants to be famous she wants to be able to sing and have everyone hear a voice and be able to touch everyone she wants to contribute she wants to share a gift and she definitely wants to be famous and successful she needs to be closer to her children and one of the big challenges in life is oftentimes what we want and what we need are two different things she has five boys they're all extremely young as i'm sure you saw and she has a husband and while they're all supportive for going on this journey somewhere along the line she lost that connection to what was most important now she a bad person to make bad decisions no good people make bad decisions when they get in lousy states when our ego gets involved or when we start believing our story and here was the story she had being a mom is important but the bigger gift god gave me is my singing voice and once we get seduced into a particular story and we start to believe it it takes a whole of our life and it controls all of our choices and then pretty soon bad choice on top of a bad choice sometimes a bad choice starts to affect our life can you relate how many times you've made some choices that you wish like hell you would have made a different decision back then and or that no one ever knows the stupid decisions you made i know i can relate to that so what i want to talk to you about today for this brief little session is how to break through a crisis crises happen whatever type of crises you go through in your life and i know you've had many when we make some choices unconsciously and we get consequences and we make them unconsciously because we're trying to get what we want we don't really know what we value most we don't know what we need and we find ourselves waking up one day and going why is my life this way it's kind of like life is always calling to us to constantly grow and improve you know if you're going to look at what's going to make life work it's really simple what makes people happy is progress we're happy we're progressing if you're overweight but you leave today and you say you know what this breakthrough thing what i got today for me more anything else is i've been stuck waiting for some magical diet some magical exercise time some magical time in the future when we have more time there is more no more time i don't need to wait for that i'm just going to make a decision today to get started i don't need to go out there and go interview 20 trainers and get online i don't need somebody to give me a perfect plan i used to pick up my shoes and start walking i need to just get somebody behind me who just goes run i don't need a way for perfection i'm gonna do something right now i choose to get fit i choose to walk i choose to run i choose to go join a club i'm doing it now a breakthrough happens the moment you make a new choice and you don't have to wait you can just get yourself in a new state maybe this tape will get you doing or you just have to have a new thought that says you know what i made choices in the past i'm overweight because i chose to eat this and this i'm not going to eat it anymore i'm changing now you can change your whole life real fast with just a few choices but if you don't make the right choices eventually you're going to face a crisis crisis is when you made so many poor choices that sooner or later life shows up and instead of asking gently for you to change and improve to grow to make progress to be happy life when it's a crisis now demands change it isn't asking anymore we borrowed money as a society and we overspent and we talked about changing and we knew we had to change and now crisis happens and guess what nobody has a choice the game has changed and what crisis does is it melts us down it melts us down so that we can recast our life we can re-mold ourselves and usually on the other side our life is greater because as we go through that crisis we have to grow nobody everybody wants change nobody wants to do it everybody i should say wants progress but nobody wants to change everybody wants their life better but nobody wants to do the push-ups the running have the economic or emotional discipline to make it happen but if you're watching this right now and you're still with me some part of you wants more and i'm saying to you choose it and the way you're going to choose it is really simple if you're in that crisis what keeps you in a crisis is probably because you're being reinforced most people they overeat or they smoke or they drink or they yell at people they keep doing it because they're rewarded whatever gets rewarded gets reinforced whatever habit or behavior is reinforced becomes a habit and then pretty soon do it long enough it becomes part of your personality and pretty soon you think it's who you are and you just keep living that way i mean it's easy to see this in other people right it's easy to see how messed up they are and how easy they could if they just make some new choices all you gotta do is turn on the television some news program some entertainment program and you'll hear detailed descriptions about some person who is very powerful celebrity who is doing some stupid thing why do we see all this stuff on television why do we hear about every person you can imagine from lindsay lohan to britney spears to all the way back to the old days it was elvis or michael jackson or whoever it is that's in the news today in this stage of life in your countries you're watching this it's because we want to see other people who make bad decisions so we can feel better about our own but the reason those people don't change lindsay lohan she's got another dui she's putting herself at risk she's putting other people or she could kill someone she goes to jail it's supposed to be 90 days but here's the consequence it goes to two weeks and before she even gets out of the jail she makes a deal for an interview and gets paid a million dollars when she gets out for the interview what do you think the chances of her changing when her bad behavior gets her a million dollars and i don't know if she even makes that for that much time of acting at this stage what do you think the chances are when people around her say it's not your fault it's not fair they treat you unfairly as long as we have the decision that we're not responsible it's not our fault we can't change anything we have no power so i don't know if by the time you watch this if lindsay will change but if she did it will because the enablers are gone she's taken responsibility and she's found something she values more than attention and money for bad behavior now it's easy to look at that with her but what about you and i where are you and i addicted to our problems where are you and i reinforced so many people when they have a big problem listen if things are going well you say oh it's going so great your friends go well that's great after a while they go well easy for you but if you got a problem people go hey i understand and they connect with you where do we get addicted to our problems if you want to make a new choice if you want to make a new decision today if you want to have a breakthrough in some area of your life you got to give up the story that it's not your fault and you got to give up the attention and the love and the connection and the commiserating that comes with it with other human beings here's how you change five simple quick steps and then i'm going to give you a little tool that if you want to you can go online and really make a change with if you're going to change your life step one i don't care if something has happened to you you know somebody has spilled oil all over where you fish it's horrific it's disgusting how they've dealt with it but it's happened you got to deal with it um something's happened someone your family's been injured you've lost your job i don't care what the problem is if you're in a crisis step number one see it as it is but don't see it worse than it is now what do i mean by that i don't mean be sinister miss positive thinking by now if you're spending time with me you know i'm not about that i'm not here to tell you go to that garden enchant there's no weeds there's no weeds there's no weeds doing affirmations not gonna change your life you to go see where the weeds are and pull them out my point is simple you've got to see what the problem is but you can't make it so horrific that you just give up today this is the first generation in almost 100 years of americans who now believe the majority of americans now believe that the quality of life for themselves and their kids in the future is going to be worse than the past they have in other words nothing to look forward to 63 of the us as of today wow when you start thinking there is no future you go into what we call learned helplessness a place where you just kind of give up and if you get to a place of given up then you have no power over your life that's when people get depressed that's when people do crazy stupid things that's when people want to turn to drugs or alcohol or sometimes suicide or just total frustration and anger and their life starts to do the opposite of a breakthrough it becomes completely stuck and in pain or in ongoing suffering if you are going to break out of that we got to see it as it is we're not here to be positive thinking people you got to see what's really going on but if you're overweight you can't say to yourself well i'm big boned that's not why you're overweight you're overweight because you don't work out you eat certain things you eat cheetos all day long watching tv i don't know what did you do but i know it's not just because you're big boned you don't want to make it so it's outside your control or you can't change it so see it as it is but don't say it worse than it is so that you have no reason to try does that make sense that's the first step step two get to the real truth and deal with it don't just see it as it is and not worse than it is don't just like balance it but now get to the truth i mean listen if the truth is you've been trying to get a job for two years and you truly have worked every day in a particular industry and the number of jobs in that industry has shrunk down and you really aren't getting that job then you may have to look at the truth the truth is you might have to retool you might have to say gosh you know the industry i'm in is gone i mean gross simply simplistic example but for years vinyl records were around for 85 years it was a gigantic industry and things came and went during the vinyl record time what happened well there was remember those eight-track tapes are you ancient enough to remember those things maybe you know somebody remembers those things these big boxes you push them in and out yeah eight tracks came and went vinyl records were still here and then cassette tapes came right and cassette tapes were smaller and more compact and more convenient and more seemingly indestructible and they came over here and vinyl records were still selling like crazy if you had a job in vinyl records you kept it but then a little thing came along called the cd and when that happened almost overnight you saw an entire industry been around almost a century was gone if you were the guy that worked in the vinyl record factory and knew everything about it it was the second generation didn't matter it was over and now we laugh about a cd right because everything in this digital world you can have instantly who wants to put on a cd pretty rare still available in vinyl records maybe there's a small market of people that are collectors but it's gone my point is if you're in the vinyl record business you got to tell yourself the truth you got to see what it is not worse than it is but you also got to get the truth and deal with it you got to deal with the card you're dealt you're going to have to retool you're going to change something you might have to move if you live in the gulf and i don't support anything that's happened there who could it's unconscionable what's happened with bp but if you live in the gulf and you're a third generation fisherman and you're now you fish for oysters and they're dead you better get to the truth are they going to be dead for two years or 10 or 20 to the best of your ability and you might say well i can't do anything else i can't i'm a third generation this is all i know yes you can get to the truth and deal with it deal with the card you dealt with you got to deal with it sure i'm sure legally but in the meantime you got to take care of your family i'm not saying this off the cuff easy because i've been in those situations where it's impossible it's unjust it's wrong but i still got to deal with it just like you am i making sense it's like you might say i i've lived here you might have to move you might have to fish someplace else you might have to i know you still got to deal with all the consequences but you got to take back control of your life there are just things that happen but you got to take control easy for me to say i'm not sitting in your shoes i get that but who hasn't experienced some form of injustice someplace who's not dealt with something unfair who's not dealt with something it wasn't meant to be unfair but it affected your entire life your career your finances whatever you got to tell yourself the truth and you got to get to those dealing with the reality right now the longer you wait the longer the crisis will be if you're having an economic crisis gotta deal with it gotta downsize right size do whatever it takes and i say okay tony well so far you're telling me don't allow myself to make it so bad i don't try see it as is but don't make it worse than it is and you're telling me get to the truth and deal with it well that's nice but you know how do i do that maybe the third step more than just getting the role model maybe to be more specific is get a vision first get a vision and get strong that's why i think your third step should be you first tell yourself the truth yes see it as it is not worse than it is tell yourself the truth and deal with it but the way to deal with it is say what am i going to go for there's got to be a compelling future i got to come up with a vision for my life or a vision for my relationship i've had terrible relationships nothing's worked tell yourself the truth i've made poor choices or i've told myself stories and gave myself excuses or i've not had the courage whatever it is get to the truth and then get yourself a vision for what you do want because you have to have something you're going to move towards does that make sense if without a vision people perish it says in a very good book called the good book and i know there are many good books but that's a good one to take a look at we need something to go for we can deal with any problem today as long as there's something that we can look for in the future that we can strive for it'll give us the emotional and psychological fuel the juice to keep moving forward so you got to come up with a vision and a way to do that we'll call that step four get a role model um you might get the vision from a role model you might get the vision just from coming up with a new idea but in order to figure out how to go from where you are to where you want to be to close the gap from where you are to where you want to be it's best to learn by other people's experience whenever you can so get a role model get their strategy and go to work get into action so i'll give you an example um years ago when i was first starting to try to figure out how to build myself financially i grew up in a time when just as i was starting to do well this big recession happened and i remember i was like 29 30 years old i think and maybe 31 and i was doing okay and then all of a sudden there are all these business challenges because we went through this severe recession back in those days and i remember the time everybody was downsizing and freaking out i thought you know what i don't want to just settle for this i want to find a way to do well who's done well in really tough times and so i started doing my homework and in those days you know you didn't go out and use the internet the way you do today you couldn't access all that information we actually went to libraries and did research in traditional ways i'm ancient enough to remember those days and i started hearing about this man named sir john templeton very famous man he's a man who became a multi-billionaire as an investor he started with nothing but what was interesting is when i started find out about his story because here's a guy that when he's a young man he's called sir john templeton now he was actually an american originally and he wasn't sir he came from a very poor family and he just decided that in his life he wanted to not only do well financially he wanted to do so well he could help other people at any level that he wanted and today by the way he's passed but before he did he created the templeton fund and he also created a fund that now delivers money gives money each year at the templeton prize to people to do good spiritual works and it's larger than the nobel prize and it continues to go on but the guy started with nothing and here's how he did it listen to me now the reason i look for him as a role model is because he made all his money in the worst of times he made all his money when people were going through the equivalent of the deepest recession or depression possible his whole belief was and this is different than almost anybody else you see around you was pessimism was the secret to success that what he wanted to do was make money when people were most pessimistic because when people are optimistic they want you to pay for their house a huge sum of money but as they start getting more and more pessimistic where pretty soon they think they can never the house is the worst thing to have they'll virtually give you the house they'll virtually give you the business and so he made all his money starting in world war ii when the war broke out when hitler invaded over in europe he took all the money he had and borrowed a total money of ten thousand dollars a total amount he bought with ten thousand dollars every stock on the new york stock exchange that was one dollar or less that he thought might be useful including some companies that look like they're going to be bankrupt but he did it when people were the most pessimistic because if you recall it looked like hitler was going to take over it didn't look like we were all going to be the winners it looked like hitler was going to dominate and when people were that scared they would give up anything they had just to get a little bit back and so he bought all the stock that eventually made him a multi-billionaire he became a billionaire because after things changed after the war just five years later and the economy started to surge everything changed for him where do you think he invested next after world war ii where was a country that was pummeled that was down the factories were basically turned into mud japan you could buy things for pennies in japan that would have cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars before and he did when everyone was most pessimistic he went and did well and then he sold when the 80s surged and when everybody thought japan was the greatest country on earth had the biggest businesses he sold and made his maximum profit when people were overly optimistic he did the same thing down in south america when inflation went crazy this man spent his entire life basically having a strategy of how to succeed when everybody else was scared i tell you that because he's a role model what he did how he did it it's all in writing it's crystal clear you could do the same but you won't be able to do it when you're telling yourself the sky is falling and it's over when you see it worse than it is you'll just give up you won't do it if you don't tell yourself the truth is you know what this system isn't working i got to do something i gotta change my finances i gotta change my job i gotta reach if you don't tell yourself the truth and deal with the truth the real truth nothing's gonna happen you won't ever even think about a guy like john templeton if you don't have a vision that says i don't care how the environment is i'm gonna find a way to do well and you won't do well unless you get a strategy based on a role model who's really done it my whole thing is this if anybody has something you want they aren't lucky they did something if you model them if you take similar steps you can produce a similar result makes sense and finally the fifth step look if you're in a situation where you see it as is but not worse than it is if you've told yourself the truth and you dealt the cards you're dealt with and just decided you're going to change it and you're willing to do what's necessary if you put yourself in a place where you got a new vision and you've gotten yourself strong if you've got a role model and you've got some strategy and you've got yourself an action step five is give much more than you expect to receive simple as that sounds if you find a way to meet people's needs in business in an intimate relationship meeting your kids needs anybody's needs the whole game changes what happened here when all of a sudden you know melissa finds herself coming home and all of a sudden she finds out that while she's gone her kids now don't want to talk to her boys her husband has had an affair well none of that could change if she would have just said you know what my whole life is over i'm done and oh by the way i've just lost my career too because while i'm busy trying to deal with my family i didn't finish the record so i lose my record deal oh by the way we don't have any financial stability now we're losing our house if that family would have just said it's over if melissa rick either just said it's over it would have been over but they told himself the truth we got severe problems here but they didn't make it worse than it was they didn't say we can't turn it around and then they got to the truth the truth of the infidelity the truth of her addiction to going after fame instead of being a mom the truth that neither one of them had been really competent at parents and had not given the energy to the kids that they deserved the truth is the truth will set you free but first it'll piss you off you know the truth it doesn't feel good but not feeling good sometimes is where you get your drive to change things they they started looking around and said we don't have the skill to even manage our house much less our finances we got to do something different we got to focus on our kids we got to focus on turning things around we got to turn our relationship around but that wouldn't have worked unless they got a vision of starting to see you know it could happen and that's what i helped them with i helped them get to the truth i helped them to stop over exaggerating i got them to a place where they got to see that this relationship could be back alive and passionate and that these kids deserve both their parents and that she really could be a great mom and that maybe in the end she could even still have her singing career and enjoy it too that she didn't have to give it all up and i'm really proud of her she did it because she found a role model she got a vision but she got a full role model and the man that she works with today is a man that sold i think now 5 million or 10 million records and most people outside the country business don't know his name he's her mentor now he's made music with you know willie nelson with just about anybody you can imagine in the business and he's done it for all these years but he's never left the central part of texas because that's where his family is and melissa's had offers to go to sony sony red she walked away because they said you have to do these things without your family she found out what was most important and she made the decisions that met her needs to be a great mom when you fight life and go i should be a singer and not a mom when you got five kids you got a problem when you fight life and say you know the economy should be different you're going to be stressed deal with what is without exaggeration with total honesty dealing with the cards coming up with a vision finding yourself a role model that shows your strategy work your tail off give give give keep changing your approach and you can get where you want to go make sense now that might sound like a lot so to get you started here's what i like to do for this session start out if you want by taking a big crisis or problem you have and going through these steps saying okay what's really true and let me exaggerate let me stop the exaggeration let me not make it worse just let's define what's true let's stop the story just here's what it is we got this much financial challenge we got this physical challenge whatever it is and then go to step two all right let's find out the truth let's get the details let's get the details and figure out what we're gonna do and then here's where we're gonna go this is where we're gonna eventually get to it might take us longer to get where we want to go but we're going to get here who's done it that we can model that we can follow the steps in who can coach us and let's just work our tail off and change every day but to give you a quick jump sometimes when you're in the middle of crisis or crises multiple crises lots of things going on simultaneously it feels a bit overwhelming so and you might not know role models you might say tony i don't know who well not hard on the internet these days to find role models or come to an event i promise you we can show you plenty of role models what i do for a living but what you can do right away is you can model yourself think about it almost everyone alive has been through more than one tough tough time crisis or multi-crises where you're having a problem financially and you're having a problem with your family and you're having a health problem all simultaneously those are the intense ones right but if you're standing still today most of us have found a way to get through it and if you don't you know someone who went through a tough time a grandmother an aunt an uncle somebody the greatest way to make that change happen when you break out of a you know breakthrough you break out of a problem you break out of a crisis is model yourself so we have five questions when you click on this link and you can do it by video so you can see yourself and you can share it with other people or you can type in the answer i'll tell you in advance what they are and then when i'm done here i want you to do it right away if you would first question is what's been one of the toughest times in your life what's been one of the toughest times in your life that you did get through maybe it was a financial situation maybe it was a career situation again maybe it was an intimate relationship where you were crushed you thought you could never make it through all the pain you went through there you know maybe it was a physical challenge a health challenge maybe it was a lack of confidence or ability i don't know what it was but what was it just incredibly tough time that you did make it through and you're just going to jot it down or you can do in the video and just tell us because you're not only going to get this answer but we're going to create a community of people who will be role models people that have been through hell and back saying here's where i was here's what i got through here's what shifted my life here's what you can do and we're creating this community is our gift to you so that this isn't just a discussion that's one way we really i want to do a start a conversation with you where we can help each other so that first question is what's a what's a crisis what's a challenge what's a tough situation you eventually made through but it really was difficult for you second question you go back and you think about that situation what pulled you through what pulled you through that situation what did you what did you learn what distinction or did you get a strategy or was it a belief or did you meet someone who helped you or was it just somehow you clicked into your faith and you kicked yourself into gear what pulled you through those tough times was it a person was it a place was an idea was a distinction was a belief what was it share it with us type it down or tell us from your heart what it really was third question is just real quick it's just for contrast and the third question is what was your life like before the crisis like right before a hell broke loose usually you'll say oh my life was so great but when you go back and look at it was it so great was it wonderful just out of curiosity right before all hell broke loose third question is what was your life like right before and then the fourth question what to do what did you do to go from where you were to where you are today what did you do to get over that situation what did you do to get through that situation what did you do to turn it around what action did you take who did you go learn from what skill did you go get what what did you physically do kind of give us the description of what you did because we all want to know because you can provide us a pathway you may have been through a crisis that someone else is going through right now and they can learn from you because they can learn the shortcut and finally the fifth question may be the most important one besides what pulled you through and the fifth one is how's your life actually better today because you went through this crisis whatever the crisis was how are you stronger or are you more compassionate because you've felt that suffering you don't want anybody else to feel it or are you more hopeful because you know you made it through that so you can make it through other things or are you in a situation where you've got a skill today that you didn't have and wouldn't have had if it wasn't for that situation that made you have to grow or you're just happier today because you have a contrast of what life could be like and so now you appreciate the simple moments how are you better mentally emotionally physically financially or spiritually today because you went through the crisis even though you wouldn't want to go through it again you don't want anybody else to go through it how did it actually serve you in the end i think if you answer these five questions you don't need to remember them i said them to kind of trigger you thinking all you do is type in the answer or you take the instructions and click on the video and go okay toughest time in my life there's been so many but i'd say when i went through this divorce or i'd say when i was told i had this tumor or i'd say when they told me this company was going to go bankrupt or whatever it was second question what pulled me through god i don't know i guess a combination of things one was this belief that somehow everything in life happens for a reason and a purpose and even though i hate this something must be called me to grow or i'll tell you what it was it was a friend that sat me down and said man you're going through hell but when you're in the middle of hell when you're pushing through hell just keep pushing just keep going through it man i've been there and he gave me this plan or he gave me the strategy or he told me you know this problem won't last forever trust me i know it feels like at the end of the world but 10 years from now you and i will be sitting here and you'll be here with your children and you'll be here with your wife and we'll be talking about those tough days and we'll actually smile and laugh about them and be so proud we made it through it together or you might say what got me through is prayer or my faith in god or what got me through it was just massive action you know what pulled you through just tell us we all want to hear we all need to know and there's lots of ways to get through hell isn't there there's lots of way to get through a crisis there's so many ways that's what i want people to get so when you're done with this the website you will given something because the community is not just the place you go get stuff right it's place you give and the more you know authentic you can be and honest from your heart the more other people will see and be touched you know what was it like before oh my god i was on top of the mountain and what did you do here's what i did you know i told myself the truth i went and got this new education i went and started talking to people each day i whatever you did how's your life better today um there's a phrase you know be humble or be humbled you know i have a different level of humility because i know you know that as good as i may think i may be that situation reminded me that life is not just about me it's about we or gosh because of that i love my wife so much because we made it through that situation together or because of that man i'm so much stronger financially i'm on top of things i don't let anybody spend whatever it is tell us how your life's better okay i don't know how long this session was again there's no script here baby i just want to work with you heart to heart to say one thing if you want a breakthrough you have to make new decisions new choices create a new life the only thing stopping you is some limiting belief some belief about how life should be different you should be different deal with life the way it is tell yourself the absolute truth don't make it worse than it is tell yourself the truth deal with it get a vision get strong get a strategy get a role model with a strategy and get into action and then put your focus on taking action every day giving giving giving change your approach you will get there go to the power of crisis right now click in give us your message the answer's the five and look at other people you'll find people been through things you can't imagine a woman talking about how one day she was home and a man came in and to try and save her children from being hurt she had to let her him rape her right in front of her kids and when her father and her husband found out rather he came home he was so upset he left her and then she developed cancer i mean you you'll see some stories here that'll blow your mind and today she's the most happy incredible woman and she's helping other people who have cancer to get through it she's healthy and strong her kids are strong we need those kinds of role models so whether your story is little or big there is no little big we all need a pathway of power and this will be a gift to yourself because it will activate your resources and it'll be gift to other people as well so that's our session the power of decision the power of choice how to face a crisis and turn around may not sound like uh you know rocket science it's not it's just called the truth and the truth will set you free as they say so live strong and live with passion

Channel: Helpful Dreams

Views: 31,925

Keywords: tony robbins, motivational video, motivational speech, tony robbins motivation, tony robbins relationships, tony robbins motivational speeches, tony robbins motivational video, tony robbins motivational speech, tony robbins priming, tony robbins 2021, tony robbins money, tony robbins depression, tony robbins unshakeable, self discipline affirmations, life coaching, motivational speeches, tony robbins meditation, tony robbins morning ritual, discipline motivation, coaching

Id: L-Axd-YQmlc

Length: 45min 48sec (2748 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 15 2022