Transcriber: Mohand Habchi
Reviewer: Nhu PHAM Every year
approximately 14 million girls become child brides
under the age of 18. 1 of 7 girls marry
before they even turn 15. Some of them as young as 8 years old, most time to men much
much older than themselves. Their parents marry them off
because of cultural traditions, poverty and for security. Child brides are robbed
of their innocence, and their rights to an education. Mentally and physically, they're not ready
to become wives or mothers and can suffer dangerous
sometimes even fatal consequences. I know of this danger intimately. I was a child bride. My parents were illiterate and they had to work double jobs
in order to support our big family. My mother never even went to school, she was married off at 14
like her mother and her grandmother. When I was 14, I came home one day and found out
the arrange for my marriage. My mother told me about the 22-year-old
I was going to marry. She said, "You are going to America, you will get educated there
and live a wonderful life." I wouldn't dare question their decision. The reality didn't hit me
until the night of my wedding. I was taken to a hotel room
and no one told me what to expect. I'll spare you the details. I was scared, I was hurt
and I felt violated. I was only in eight grade. I loved school,
I wanted to be a lawyer. But after the wedding,
I wasn't allowed anymore. My role as a wife
was to obey my husband, cook, clean and serve
for him and his family. Coming to America
is a dream comes true for many. It wasn't for me. I was abused by a husband
that drank too much, gambled and had affairs. He monitored my whereabouts
and my phone calls. He had to approve my friends. I felt trapped. Still a child I got pregnant
the first year of my marriage. I don't even know
how to handle my own body. I had many complications, and some of them led to miscarriages that caused severe pain and bleeding. No child should ever
have to go through this. I have three beautiful daughters now. I felt pure love for them, but an equal amount of fear that they too would go
through the same faith. Every time I hold them,
I made a promise that I would take care of them and make sure that they have
a different life than mine. I learned how to speak English through watching Sesame Street
with my daughters. As my daughters were growing older
my husband made a comment that it would be a waste of money
to send girls to college, that they should either get married
or become hairstylists. I had a frightening flashback, I wasn't going to allow that. So secretly I started saving money
for an emergency fund. Then I started working in a beauty salon
where I learned about women's rights, and that child marriages
are actually a violation against human rights. That gave me hope, and I was determined
to change that for my daughters. One day my husband
found a book I was reading, called: "Too bad to stay,
but too good to leave." He hid my passport,
he took my car keys, my credit cards,
leaving me no way out. His whole family caged in on me, even my own parents
said a divorce was unacceptable. Years ago my cousin was killed
for trying to divorce her husband. I was terrified,
I felt hopeless and broken. That night he got drunk and he said,
"You want a divorce? I'll give you one, I brought you here, you are going back
to where you came from. No courts here are going
to give you the children or the house." And my daughters were listening to this. Seeing them scared and crying and the thought of losing them
fired up a courage in me. I stood up for the first time
and spoke back to him, I said, "I'm not 14 years old anymore,
I know women have rights. I'm staying right here
and I'm fighting for my children. Just watch me." It got real ugly.
I gathered the girls and we ran out. I didn't know where I was going, but going back was not an option. I was alone in this battle. You see, I didn't run out
on my husband or my home, I ran out of a whole culture. Learning to survive
on my own was not easy, I was constantly stopped and threatened. I had many sleepless nights, but fear can only hold you back
for so long. I knew my faith was going
to help me through this. With some friends' help
and a long process later, I got finally divorced. That felt like a second
chance in life for me. I loved my new found freedom. I went back to school,
I got my GED and my real estate license. I worked really hard and became one of the top
producers in our company. My heroes are my daughters. They stayed together
through thick and thin. My oldest daughter has graduated
James Madison University. Her degree to us means
we have raised the bar, we broke our cycle. (Applause) But many girls, many child brides
still don't have choices. I am passionate, and I believe that together today
we can start a movement and end this crime. See, our leaders made it a priority. The US government has re-authorized
the Violence against Women Act, and added a provision
to end child marriages worldwide. But the law alone is not enough. Together we can inform people and educate communities
about the dangers of child marriages, provide incentives to families
to keep their daughters in school. By empowering and educating girls
they will be happier wives, better mothers
and a contribution to society. They can lift up their families and their communities
and their countries out of poverty. I will not think of myself as a victim. If sharing my story
here at TEDxRockCreekPark, will result in making a difference
for even one girl that is in danger
of becoming a child bride, then my suffering was worth it. With your help,
we can let children be children. Thank you.
(Applause)
