HOW I ESCAPED CHILD MARRIAGE TO BECOME A WOMEN’S RIGHTS ACTIVIST | Mercy Akuot | TEDxKakumaCamp

for me it started with a song my parents are the heart of both my good and bad memories of my childhood but before I tell you about them I want to make it clear from the start that I don't blame my parents I blame the culture they are tied to my best memory of my dad is me and him singing a rap song by NASA an American hip-hop artist big boys and girls listen you can be anything in the world an aspect a doctor or maybe an actress nothing comes easy it takes much practice I know I can be what I want to be if I work hard and I'll be wearing one of the big V because I lived with my family in South Sudan and conflict was all around us so my parents decided to take us to Uganda and put us in school it was me my mom and dad my brother and sister and my two beautiful cousins because I was at a boarding school that was more than a day's drive away every single time I spent with my family was precious to me and when I returned to school I carried those encouraging words with me you can be anything in the world I knew my parents were sacrificing a lot to send me to school so I worked really hard remembering nothing comes easy it takes much practice in 2008 when I was 15 years old I went home to South Sudan for Christmas home was wonderful I met a boy at a cultural dance and I was enjoying life as a teenager I never imagined that my path in life would be anything other than hard work at school leading to the career of my choice I wanted to become a lawyer I always wanted to fight for the right of women the festive season were full of family gatherings and cultural dances but in January when everybody was going back to school I realized no one was asking me for my shopping list and by February I knew something was wrong I was months late for school so I walked up to my dad and asked him when I was going back to school he told me I wasn't going back to school I was getting married and for a minute I felt like I didn't know my dad anymore but I went ahead and asked him home I was getting married - he told me someone I always knew as an uncle never I said to myself I'd rather die my uncle was 56 years old and my parents were ready to give out their daughter at the age of 15 to get married to a man much older than her against her will that might be their culture but not mine the next time I went to my dad and asked him about my education he insisted that I had to get married he said it is our culture that made me very furious he even said my little sister had to go through the same my mom had left for Uganda some weeks before to take my brother to school I felt so alone my dad told me he gave me an option he said if you don't want to get married you'll have to go to Uganda and stay with your mom I said fine that is better than getting married the next day me and my cousin well packed and ready to move surprises hadn't ended for me the person who was supposed to take us to Uganda was my so-called uncle we hopped in the car and drove by nightfall we arrived at a town bordering with Uganda my uncle booked two rooms what we're supposed to stay at the lobby I saw my mom I was so excited and lived but my mom couldn't look at me she and my uncle went to one room while me and my cousin went to the other the next thing I had was the door of the other room open and I saw my mother leaving my uncle called me in the other room he told me your mother has said I can do anything I want with you and I will the next thing I had was a hit of a gun at the back of my head the monster strips me and assaulted me I end you at this for three days I was not even allowed to go to the toilet a bucket was all I was given after three days I was desperate for me to stop so I told him I had accepted but deep down in my heart I knew I had accepted nothing the next day my uncle accepted me and my cousin to go to the shop so we went to the supermarket across the road surprisingly the owner of the supermarket was an old friend of my mother's she was shocked when I told her everything she spoke to me encouraged me she asked me to be strong for myself when I went back to the hotel I talked to my uncle to let my cousin go back to Uganda and join school he accepted but before my cousin left I talked to her I told her no matter what happens don't stop on the road make sure you get your way back home because I knew I was about to do something unexpected my cousin left for Uganda the next day I went to the same supermarkets and my mother's friend told me she had found a place for me to hide the hair saloon across the road that kind lady hit me for a month and one time she lent me her phone and I called the boy I told you about the one I met at a dance he sends me money and I just kept from South Sudan I crossed the border into Uganda I made my way straight home and surprisingly I found both my parents there my dad took me to the police station claiming I had ran away from school in South Sudan luckily in the pocket of my coat I carried my school report I showed the police officer who recognized the school he talks to my parents and he told them to take me back to school but my parents kept on trying to take me forcefully back to South Sudan they even had me locked up in a police tell thankfully a kind policeman intervened and refused my parents to take me back to South Sudan I was taken to a children's home a street kids home in Uganda at that moment I felt lucky it was better than getting married an American lady who visited the home asked me what I was doing there I told her my story she was touched she had to go back to the United States but before she left she found a wonderful man named Jonathan who agreed to take me in and became my family I went back to school and I felt blessed in my new home after four years of schooling I graduated from high school and I felt like I still missed my family I wanted to make peace with them so I called up my dad I told him I was tired of living like someone was been cut from the family so we agreed to meet meeting home didn't feel safe so we agreed to meet in a large shopping mall in Kampala when I approached the spots where we had agreed to meet I was so horrified to see my so-called uncle with my dad and at that moment I knew I was not safe anymore in Uganda I love Jonathan very much but I couldn't go back because I knew what my parents are capable of now that they knew where I am they could try to find me and I didn't want to put Jonathan and his family in danger so I decided to come to Kenya I had had of copmi refugee camp it took me two days to get here by bus I was so relieved to be registered and given a home and my new life began I now live and work in Kakuma refugee camp I'm doing the kind of job I always wanted to do helping women and girls I lead a team of women who mentor young girls we offer a safe space for them to discuss issues that affect their lives every person is born free and equal it is our culture that imposes the belief that women are inferior you see my mom did not do what she did because she didn't love me or because she was a bad person no she did it because of the culture a culture that oppresses women and forces them to live their education and get married at a young age and all too often God that are married off don't resist because they are scared of being rejected and losing contact with their family and also often it is women women like my mother who pressure their daughters into following such traditions so how do we break this cycle we can start it right here in this refugee camp I have started it with me I have seen remarkable changes more and more girls attending high school and parents are helping them pursue their ambitions mother's father's daughters are on learning that domestic violence and child marriage need to be stripped out of our culture we need to empower women for if we empower women we defeat poverty and defeat violence and if we want to empower and protect women we need to involve men it is our joint responsibility to challenge traditions that say young girls can be murdered of as child right as we wait for the war to end we have a responsibility to challenge traditions that say young girls can be married at a young age and in the safety of this camp we have a unique opportunity to do so I believe that such traditions should not and will not follow us here and out of here I have been given such an opportunity and I am determined to take it I'm in love with a good man who shares my convictions and is supportive of everything I do then thank you for being my partner and my best friend and today still I'm privileged to have the man who took care of me daddy Jonathan thank you so much dad for everything you've done for me I appreciate we plan on raising our little Jonathan to respect all women as equal alongside my work fighting for women I'm also pursuing my dream as a singer I want my music music to bring hope and joy I wrote this song for my beautiful baby Jonathan and my best friend ding an Avion nephron and history become a winner an Avion - yummy cheesy Conoco king in there so sick when I don't talk to you the sequence I'm not close to you and not only fun Jana history become a wing in there I know I can be what I wanna be evil work hard else I'll be wearing one of these thank you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 568,086

Rating: 4.9506149 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Global Issues, Activism, Africa, Human Rights, Immigration, Refugee, Women, Women's Rights

Id: 7pdqKetNpsM

Length: 14min 26sec (866 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 18 2018