Bratz (2007) - you either get it or you don't xx

this video is sponsored by surf shark hello everybody welcome to mike's mike my name is factually contractually legally and respectfully mike now before you hassle me in the comments i'm going to let you all know part two of the pretty little liars saga will be coming in about a week a week and a half you cannot rush art and i'm not gonna rush my picasso for this video although it's not pll this is a piece of media involving four girls experiencing the perils of high school one of them has a streak and janelle parish is in i am of course referring to the absolutely iconic piece of cinema known as the bratz movie [Music] i love mine look to summarize my thoughts on this movie i have one sentence if you get it you get it if you don't you don't and if you don't i feel sorry for you like hrh collection said it and she meant it and i'm appropriating that in this instance because it's correct full disclaimer it's my opinion that overall bratz outsold barbie maybe barbie was the og but the brats those are the dolls like those are the girls you know my sister emma shout out to emma she was a bratz girl she had that bratz briefcase like the catwalk briefcase thing and she always had the doll's doll i think my favorite bratz doll back in the day was yasmin but in this live action bratz movie jade came to outsell she came with the intention of demolishing the girls and she did so all right so the bratz live action movie came out in august 2007 has a 10 on rotten tomatoes and a 3.2 on imdb which is immediately offensive so why don't we ever read some of these reviews it sprouts mush about being true to your friends and to yourself but admits you also need awesome clothes okay and how do our flighty young heroines fight back by shopping of course there is no problem it seems a new tube top and mini skirt can't fix like stay mad like what's the issue oh this is a good one what a filthy dirty disgusting brutal bottom feeding trash bag fashionista movie bratz goes out of its way to suck the acting sucks the story sucks the score sucks everything sucks yes buddy you better review i love how he's kind of written fashionista as like an insult it's like trash bank fashionista movie now i want to go through some of my favorite parts of the movie there are many a thing singular and plural about this movie that just make me go hmm but before that it's time to hear from today's sponsor this video is sponsored by surfshark surfshock is a vpn a virtual private network available as an app and a browser extension that not only protects you when you're browsing online it also lets you access content from so many places around the world i mean let's face it you're interesting everyone wants to know what you're doing online they want to track what you're doing and they also want to have a little go off the malware and the phishing attempts that's where surfshot comes in with features like clean web that help you browse securely online now let's talk unlocking content as you may be aware i'm doing an absolutely world shattering series on pretty little liars and if you want to watch that show but it's not available on netflix in your country you can use surfshot to unlock other countries netflix libraries such as netflix canada which does have pretty little liars also with surf shock you only need one account and you can use it on unlimited amount of devices if you use my code mike's mic that's m-i-k-e-s-m-i-c you're gonna get 83 off plus four extra months for free i screamed also surf shock offers a 30-day money-back guarantee so no risk for you to try it out for yourself so make sure you head to that link in the description and use my code mike's mike to get that deal thank you surf shark for sponsoring this video let's get back to it here's the description of the movie during their first year of high school four best girlfriends face off against the domineering student body president who wants to split them up into different social cliques now that truly does sound like every 2000's movie giving very much high school musical cafeteria scene in terms of cast we have natalia ramos as yasmin logan browning as sasha skyla shea as chloe and janelle parish as jade and pretty much the only other character that you need to know by name is chelsea kane as meredith the movie starts with the four girls waking up in full glam face done hair done i do my hair check check i throw my hair wait i do my hair what full face of makeup and they've got the hair done and they immediately jump on the computer and video call each other the purpose of this vehicle is for them to pick their outfits for the first day of high school now in terms of them waking up in full face and full glam and everything i say good for them like truly if you're waking up ready for action the congratulations to you because i could not be me when i wake up i look like a weather event which doesn't even really make sense but like it's true what else can i say now remember this movie is 2007. tell me why these girls are having their four-way video conference in quality better than my zoom full hd like what's that about while they're picking their outfits jade goes to her closet and she reveals that there's a secondary closet behind it and as she's going to the closet she's like looking around like oh no i hope my parents don't see me going to my secret closet who the [ __ ] built the closet then like truly i was trying to think who is the delusional party here like is it jade for thinking that the parents don't know about the secret wardrobe or is it the parents not knowing that jade built a secret wardrobe and she would have had to do some so much construction like i don't know i don't judge now quick jade discourse janelle perish as jade yeah that's iconic because janelle parrish i feel like has been playing high schooler since birth like if you do the math she was a high schooler for about eight years because she did brats in 2007 and then pretty little liars was 2010 to 2017 but mind you time jump pretty little eyes will say 2015. but she's born in 1988 which means she was 19 doing brats and then she was a high school for the next eight years also important thing to note the credits of this movie are in comic sans and we need to recognize that that was a choice because this is not a situation in which they were using photoshop free trial and they had to use either times new roman or comic sans like they made the decision to search our comic sense and i think that's very powerful like if you get it you get it if you don't you don't all right so the girls pick their outfits and they arrive at school now what the [ __ ] is this school this chair like make more noise i love these kinds of movies where it's clearly trying to emulate some sort of reality but then you see something weird it just totally takes you out like for example the signs around this school say obey order submit so what's that about and like we see the principal reading a book that says how to run a prison so are these girls like are they oppressed by the click system or are they oppressed by the prison school now jade arrived at school in a very spencer hastings preppy outfit hillary clinton 1980s but then she gets changed she gets a little streak in her hair the arya montgomery vacation of jade at the school we meet the only other character worth knowing and that is meredith now meredith truly can only be described with the word girl boss the first time we meet meredith she's reviewing a lunch table assignments chart and like i guess this is breathtaking iconic filmmaking because meredith very clearly says this is the quote she says as you can see there are 48 distinct clicks and you can literally see that there are only 17 but then also how would they even be 48 clicks and does this seating assignment chart like cater to the entire school or just one year group because if it's one year group how are there 48 clicks how many people are in this year in my year group in high school there's like 140 people which means if we were in this click system 48 clicks it's two and a half people two and a half men so much all boys school buy we have disco dorks and dino students why the way there's a girl's soccer table and there's no boys soccer no boys no boys charlie said it if i had to put myself into any one of these tables i'd want to be on hipster trendy but i know for a fact i'm in cyber bloggers wait cyber bloggers is just like influencers nor i don't want to be on the table don't even get me started on the blues because we've got mimes oh my god also the ages of these characters does not make sense but we'll get to that after the time jump yes there is a time jump so the girls are trying to figure out what their clicks are and i will go out and say jade is the best jade really is truly the best like she goes to chemistry and she really chemists those chemistries and then she goes to the fashion department and she really sets up a storm so congratulations to the jade stands that involves me however i may like the character but i will not excuse science-related [ __ ] jade is with the chemistry class hair down by the way absolutely not safe at all and she's tipping all this [ __ ] inside a conical flask and she's like boom fireworks and she makes fireworks okay whatever and then this guy is like mmm a bernoulli effect [ __ ] a bernoulli effect you are seriously superior no sorry about that absolutely no [ __ ] chance that it's not a bitterly effect but nor the effect is like fluid flow a benori effect i'll give you a [ __ ] bernoulli effect then we have sasha trying out for the cheerleading squad and the leader of the cheerleader the chili dress she says this is the routine we want you to do can you bring it and sasha's being rude for no [ __ ] reason and she says this girl i brought it nailed it lent it to my friend's good sister and i brought it back while you were still figuring out the beat and she does all these flips and [ __ ] it was like this routine is so glee and then speaking of flips chloe girl [Music] you don't need to be doing all that like what is she doing like is it that serious upon reflection maybe i'm just jealous look if i could flip i would flip all the time after learning how to moonwalk i mean walk daily i'm a menace on the floor any floor give me a floor i'll moonwalk if i could flip i would flip at all [ __ ] times now one of our main girlies here yasmin she is not doing well she is truly not doing well she can't find her clique what she is finding is deaf people to push over [Music] oh why don't you watch where you're going are you blind hello [Music] no but i'm deaf ghetto you don't sound deaf well you don't look ignorant but i guess you can't judge a book right gaga chandra oh my god yeah i wrote down there's a scene where jade's like walking and one of her like chemistry friends is like jade check out this radical theorem you'll absolutely dig it she's like guys i need to go look at this theorem who wrote the script i just want to talk and i want to tell you did a great job so blah blah the girls like joining all different clicks and then there's a [ __ ] two-year time jump gasping screaming crying on the floor when will christopher nolan take notes from this movie because that is cinema in this two-year jump timeline the girls are not talking to each other it's quite sad really but jade's still outsold meredith was like student body president in like the two years before section and she's still student body president now so i'm like how old are you i was under the impression you were a senior but then did you stay back two years to terrorize the students it does not make sense i don't think this movie was like meant for this level of analysis now what is the go with the hatchets i do not understand it okay there's like all these statues of this lady holding a hatch and she's like madame hatchet or some [ __ ] literally look at this sign that we see in the bathroom it's a lady [ __ ] or throwing [ __ ] she's projectile throwing [ __ ] into the toilet and she's holding a hatchet for what and why clicks use an engagement because she got all of those from me i just don't get it because i would have had to have designed that printed that stuck it in this bathroom set and it's never really explained but again if you get it you get it if you don't you don't like there's a scene where meredith instructs her dog to trip over chloe so chloe trips over she's holding food tips the food off the balcony it lands on jade now i would like to talk about the portioning of these meals how is this one bowl of spaghetti truly what is going on these antics result in a food fight of course but i would just like to know where these cream pies are coming from all i'm asking for is one tiny bit of continuity the [ __ ] even is a cream pie what is a cream pie ah they go to detention because of this food fight why the [ __ ] is chloe standing on the bench like she's just so confidently up there i'm like go get off how does yasmin have no friends like it's implied that she has no friends because she has no clique yasmin seems cool to me in her bedroom she's got a poster of gwen stefani and if you just wait a second yeah mm-hmm yeah like jasmine has taste i love this final by the way guys i'm in my vinyl zero we're kind of like twins if i had this bob you would not be able to tell me [ __ ] okay if i had this and i could flick it and it was that shiny all the time you could just [ __ ] off because there's nothing you could do you could not tell me anything i would not talk to you get a job stay away from me there's a scene of her dancing with her grandma and it's just cute and fun and the brother records it sends it to evil meredith but when he's recording he has his finger over the camera it's just would like to quickly point out jade's hair here i don't really know what the desired look was but i'm gonna say she achieved it anyway good for her there is simply no doubt in my mind that that is two heads of hair she truly just got a wig scrunched it and stuck it to the side of her head it's like a messed up drag race reveal if you get it you get it if you don't you don't like next thing you know out of [ __ ] know where we get this scene [Music] i love myspace and that's not just me [ __ ] around with you with edits that's how it is in the movie it what i love myspace our four main slayers decide they want to do operation mingle in which they're trying to get everyone out of their cliques and to be friends with each other and the way of doing that is by doing things they wouldn't normally do so jade teaches the jocks how to do maths now tell me why the math that these jocks cannot do is six plus one plus two divided by three i didn't realize it was that bad our girl chloe who is blonde which is famously synonymous for clums you can't have one without the other ask yourself are you blondy clumsy yeah she kicks soccer ball into this guy's crotch and i just want you to listen to the sound effect that added to this [Music] to be honest i don't really know how to explain the following plot point basically meredith's in a pool with a usb why does she have the usb when she's in the pool anyway yasmin's brother is there he has a phone with the recording of yasmin dancing with the grandmother meredith asks yasmin's brother to plug the usb into the phone to transfer the files from the phone to the usb [Music] that's what happens when you have gratitude guys i have gratitude oh i heard you guys want another plot hole while i'm here to give you one right jasmine she's all like oh please don't ask me to sing in front of anyone i don't i can't do it got stage fright i'm sure i'm claustrophobic darren but then she's in the music room singing into a microphone attached to a speaker like to make a long story short meredith hosts a 16th party event she's already 16. so it's called the 16 2 16 squared girl you turning 256 now this party's being catered by chloe's mother right and her caterers are unavailable so she needs our four slayers to present the meals to everyone meredith has decided to dress them up like clowns now she really thought she did something but then jade hits that slay button she pulls out a [ __ ] stapler and just goes to town and turns out these looks in five minutes meredith sings a song at her 16th and i'm going on the record saying i would stream that [ __ ] if it was real she gave ashley o you might think i'm joking i'm truly not joking it sounds like a pussycat doll's b-side now from this point in the movie my notes that i've written down while watching do not line up with the plot at all so i'm just going to go through what i've written one by one here i'm gifting you a screenshot that says bratz cancelled i thought maybe some of you would use this as a reaction picture so there you go meredith sings another song and again i would stream my space i have 10 million friends to text me bff to the end the movie ends with the four slayers singing the song bratitude what does gratitude mean i think you know what i'm gonna say if you get it you get it if you don't you don't they say my gratitude is just an attitude gonna take the latitude to say that it's okay it's not a platitude to feel some gratitude so show your gratitude to the world today rhyming latitude with platitude as equal parts criminal offence and deserving of a knighthood so i'm not sure how to feel basically that's what i wanted to say about bratz the movie my opinion brats outsold barbie still stands thank you all for watching this video i hope you enjoyed keep an eye out for the pretty little lies part two coming in a weekend or week and a half and remember everybody it's not a platitude to feel some gratitude so show your gratitude to the world today

Channel: Mike's Mic

Views: 906,338

Keywords: mikesmic, mikes mic, commentary, review, bratz movie, mikes mic movie review

Id: xIePmnkjvl4

Length: 16min 31sec (991 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 26 2021