Every day with them feels the same as the
last. You have nothing to say, and your sex life
is nothing to write home about. Have you lost the spark? If your new and exciting relationship has
turned stale, don’t worry. Keep watching and I’ll tell you the one
thing you need to know to get back that feeling you had were when you first started dating. Hi, I’m Jessica Boss. As a relationship expert, I’ve seen so many
amazing couples who have let their happily ever after become as boring as waiting in
line at the post office. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen
to you. If you want more advice about relationships
and dating, please like this video and subscribe to my channel so you’ll be updated whenever
I have new tips, tricks, and lessons for you. First off, don’t fret. This happens to everyone. Celebrities, jet pilots, porn stars, we all
have periods in our relationships where it feels like we’ve fallen too far into the
routine and things aren’t exciting anymore. In some ways it’s a good sign. It means you’re connected and comfortable. You don’t need to spend all your time at
amusement parks just to have fun, you can be content simply by being together. On the flip side, it’s hardly a rollercoaster
ride. Here’s what happened: In the beginning it
wasn’t boring because things were new and exciting. As you got to know each other, those butterflies
faded as your comfort, security, and familiarity rose. But remember how exciting this person was
in the beginning. Have they really changed? Boredom is just a lack of excitement and novelty. Relationships don’t stay exciting all on
their own. Relationships are only interesting if you
make them that way. So what can you do to relight that spark? First off, you need to focus on yourself. Relationships take two people and if you’re
not both willing to put in work, it’s not going to work out long term, but for right
now, the easiest way to spice things up starts with you. TIP #1 Drop the attitude When things go stale, it’s easy to get wrapped
up in resentment. “My partner is boring”
“I’m not attracted to them anymore” “They’re not making an effort”
“We’re no good together” “I need someone new and exciting in my life.” The truth is, you’re never going to convince
your partner to be excited or exciting by nagging and complaining. This isn’t like telling them to do the dishes
or be nicer to your mother. Excitement is a fragile thing that can’t
be faked. TIP #2 Add excitement If you’re looking for a reason for your
boredom, you’re not going to find one. That’s because boredom is the absence of
excitement. What you need to do is inject some new activities
into your life. Think of hobbies that you’ve always wanted
to try. Doing new things together means working together
towards a common goal and changing how you interact. This will bust you out of the old routine. Spicing up your sex life is another great
way to bring back that spark. Send your partner some sexy text messages
while they’re at work. Suggest new positions or visit a sex shop
together. Even if you feel silly, at the very least
it’s going to be a funny story for you two to share. What’s worse for a relationship: boredom
or cheating? I want to hear what you think. Click the box at the top of the screen and
take my poll. I’ll talk about the results in my next video. TIP #3 Don’t stop dating No, I’m not talking about seeing other people. Wrong kind of exciting. What I mean is, just because you’re in a
relationship doesn’t mean you have to stop dating each other. Make time once a week to go out to dinner,
walk through the park, or even just go for a drive. If you’re having trouble making conversation,
try an activity that doesn’t require you to talk. Go white water rafting, rock climbing, the
sky’s the limit! Hey, what about skydiving? Remember the feeling you had when you first
got together? It seemed like you were the only two people
in the world. Then real life got in the way. If you set aside this regular time for just
the two of you, you can feel that way again. TIP #4 Be the person you’d like to date Sometimes boredom comes from feeling like
our partner is no longer making us feel special. It’s tough feeling like we’re being taken
for granted. The two common responses here are to lash
out in anger or to bottle up our feelings. What I want you to do instead is treat your
partner the way you’d like to be treated. You wish they would dress nice? Lead by example! Put on your nicest outfit and get all dolled
up at the next opportunity. You wish they’d buy you flowers? Buy them flowers and send them to their work. It really is that simple to shake things up. First, it feels as good to spoil your partner
as it does to be spoiled. And second, if you up your game, they’re
going to want to show you their appreciation by doing the same. This is a great way to improve your relationship
with positivity rather than negativity. If your relationship has become so distant
that you’re worried there may be no hope left,
go to JessicaBoss.com/quiz. This free quiz tool will take a measure of
your relationship and let you know if you can save it or if it’s over. Just answer honestly. It only takes five minutes. TIP #5 Unplug Take regular time to unplug and connect with
your partner. If you’re making dinner together, leave
your phones in the other room. They’ll be there when it’s over and you’ll
have had some quality facetime. Instead of watching TV, take a walk around
the neighbourhood. If you find you’re constantly talking about
work, family, or other people, make a concerted effort to spend this time trying to learn
more about your partner’s past, their interests, and the way they see the world. We tend to feel like we know our partner so
well that there’s nothing new to learn but if you ask unexpected questions, you’ll
be surprised what comes out. If you’ve tried everything and it’s still
not working, the time has come for a real conversation. Trouble connecting, long silences, and lack
of sex, can be symptoms of boredom but they can also be caused by the coldness that comes
from a buildup of resentment. Often we’re not even aware that we feel
this way. It’s a slow process. One day we’re happy, the next we feel angry,
anxious, and sad about our relationship for seemingly no reason. This may be unavoidable but it can be fixed! Sit down and take stock of your relationship. Look at what’s working and what isn’t. Be honest with yourself about what you want
that you’re not getting and what they’re doing that hurts you, even if it seems tiny
and petty. Now, put the list aside and talk to your partner. See what they’re going through that may
be keeping you two apart. Ask them what you could be doing differently
that would make them happy. This conversation may or may not result in
a breakthrough but the important thing is is to show them that you’re thinking about
your relationship and how it can be better. Pretty soon, they will be too. There you go. These are surefire ways to get your relationship
from boring to exhilarating. In relationships, as in life, it takes work
to keep things exciting. Who knew? If you have other tips to keep things fresh
in your relationship, please comment below and maybe you’ll inspire my next video! If you liked what I had to say, please like
this video and subscribe to this channel for more content about how to navigate the complex
world of modern relationships. I’ve been Jessica Boss, the original boss
baby. Thanks for watching! Bye!
