Borderline Fear & The Power Play of Paranoia & Paranoid Personality Disorder

hi my name is dr. Daniel Fox licensed psychologist in the state of Texas and expert in the area of personality disorders and today I wanted to talk about missed trusting and misunderstood the paranoia or paranoid issues that sometimes accompany those with BPD traits or BPD and what we're going to talk about is sort of this this paranoia we're gonna put it in this in this shell so to speak of paranoia now paranoia of course is an extreme term didn't remember though all this terms and even BPD itself is on a spectrum so there are degrees so it doesn't mean like paranoid schizophrenia that's now we're talking about there's a paranoid personality disorder that we'll get to in this video that we will talk about so when we talk about paranoia we're talking about sort of fear of being harmed hurt betrayed abandoned disrespected and these are common feelings and thoughts and concerns and worries of a lot of folks those along the BPD spectrum I've seen a very common of course in those in those individuals as well so the this video certainly we're gonna direct it towards those with with BPD but I think there was a benefit for those that may feel that they may have issues of paranoid personality disorder which is something that we'll get into in this video as well so hopefully this can provide some insight for you and some greater understanding about concerns and fears to a point where it reaches this level of paranoia and we'll talk more about that so it has been found to be pretty prevalent actually in those with with BPD now paranoid personality disorder can co-occur with borderline personality disorder and again as I mentioned before so in this video we're going to talk about is the paranoia paranoid personality shorter aspects as it relates to BPD and I'm going to give you some suggestions on how to manage it to try to help you I like to give tools that can help you so if you enjoy the video please subscribe if you really enjoy it share send it out to the world that's always nice and as always I hope you find a lot of utility in this and let's get into it okay so let's talk about what some of the criteria is for paranoid personality disorder no 4 the first criteria we're going to talk about this is that these people they suspect without sufficient basis that others are exploiting harming or deceiving them and remember the key component here is that there isn't a sufficient basis for it so there's no concrete evidence remember it's good to always try to prove your thoughts because that BPD can kind of drive you to these aspects of paranoia and fear and issues and it can distort your BPD lens can distort how you see the world and how you interpret information so that's the first one let's talk about the second one so these people are preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends and associates so people that you're close to you doubt their sincerity you doubt if their loyalty are they talking behind your back are they planning to hurt you so you start to spend a lot of time and energy into finding alternative evidence to prove that they're out to harm you that they're out to hurt you additionally there's a reluctance and this is another criteria is that there is a reluctance to confide in others because of an unwarranted fear that the information will be maliciously used against you so you don't open up to people because you fear that it'll be used against you ok now remember these criteria that we're talking about if if you maybe you're like oh I do that and it's one of them one of them is not enough so we need several in order to qualify and it's more likely to have paranoid traits than it is to have paranoid personality disorder so it's important to remember that I just want to throw that in as we're going through the criteria because I know that a lot of folks with BPD and BPD traits that they're often reluctant to confide in their therapists their mental health her about BPD they may say well you know I think I mean criteria but if I tell him or her they may not see me anymore and that can sound like what we're talking about it's this it's this fear that if I tell them they're gonna kick me out of treatment they won't want to work with me anymore and I'm not saying that's not a justified for you that there aren't people mental health providers who are reluctant to treat those that are along the borderline expect I'm not saying that but but you have to find the evidence that shows that is there evidence that alludes to that okay so it's important that we're always looking for evidence now the next one this is that these these folks that they read hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events so they they interpret information that it is directly to them and harmful now another one is that they persistently bear grudges so unforgiving for insults or injuries or even slights you know somebody maybe they make a joke at your expense and you're out and everybody's kind of goofing around but then somebody makes a joke and you you take it very personal because maybe it hits your core content and what hit your core content that really kind of sets you off right it hit your emotional buttons and it triggers you and sets you off so you hold on to these grudges and it it's hard to let it go and you sit and you steam on it and you're you start to believe all this this person wants to hurt me this person is out to take my boyfriend my girlfriend my significant other out to take away things that I value so you start to see that other individual as harmful now the next component is that you perceive attacks on your character or reputation that are not apparent to others and you're quick to react angrily or counter-attack now another video that I will be putting out soon is how to defuse explosions and this particular aspect the this paranoia aspect is panera this apparently personality disorder component that we're talking about so this is this quick to response for you have hurt me slighted me and I'm going to have a massive reaction of rage and anger and frustration and all these other things and all of hate and malice just pours out in it and it creates this tunnel vision right and this tunnel vision is I see only but read for you and read that that statement means that I only see hate I only see betrayal I only see the harm that you want to do to me so I am going to do that to you first so it's important to remember and we're gonna talk about how to deal this in a second that there is no evidence that this person wants to hurt you maybe it was a joke there are appropriate ways to to engage with that person if someone's hurt your feelings if you feel slighted by someone there's a way to engage with them assertively in order to deal with I do have other videos on being assertive and managing issues like this and as I mentioned I'll have a video coming out the next video that that I do that will be on how to defuse explosions ok but let's get back to what we're talking about so the next one the last component and this is that you have recurrent suspicions without justification regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner now remember right so you feel like that this this person is is cheating on you that they're doing something behind your back and but there's no evidence did you notice that as we went through all of this criteria what is the one common theme through all the criteria that is it is there's no evidence to support it and it's really important to do this to look for evidence in the environment and a lot of folks with with BPD you know that they have this BPD lens and this summer I talk about in my workbook I talk about in many other videos as well I can have a whole video on it I'll put the link here if you want to learn more about BPD lens and how it distorts your perception of information and others and it feeds your BPD and keeps it in place but it's important to realize that if you have a tendency to skew towards the negative you have to challenge that and you say okay I'm gonna be an experimenter in my life I'm going to see okay what is the value balance of what this person is saying they've slighted me I think they're cheating on me what is that all right how can you assertively and accurately approach that situation and investigate it okay so let's we're gonna go on a little bit more so BPD and paranoid personality disorder now they often occur together so we it's not uncommon as I mentioned before a few times that to have paranoid traits associated with borderline personality disorder now many individuals with BPD have a tendency others and their negative attributes and vulnerabilities so they tend to see folks as wanting to hurt them they tend to see folks that they want to do them harm and a lot of times that's a protective measure and it's understandable because a lot of folks that are a long to borderline spectrum not all but a lot of folks that are along the border line spectrum have been betrayed by others have been hurt by others that were supposed to love and care for them and have patience and compassion for them but they didn't and they were malicious harmful hateful that's understandable but that doesn't mean everybody is going to be but it requires a lot of work to see that differently to allow people that aren't going to hurt you in your life so and you know that we can we can't go into all the details because there's so much involved that's why treatment takes so long because it's about changing that core content and changing the paranoid personality disorder aspects if you have them or those traits or those fear-based concerns it's changing that and doing it differently for yourself so it's understandable to be vigilant for being hurt jilted or left or abandoned it's understandable based upon their experience about how that manifests in their life today so a lot of folks with with with BPD they're hyper vigilant to words speech behaviors that indicate harm is coming their way right that now there can be many reasons just just as we talked about it this can be present and the difference between vigilance and paranoia it's not all bad to be vegetable vigilant it's not all bad to be vigilant for those who may harm you but when it starts to impact adding healthy others to your life when it starts to impact allowing others to help you when it starts to impact you having caring relationship because you're always doing tests you're always testing your significant other oh I'm gonna do this to see if he or she really loves me and that's really difficult because most of my clients and folks who I know who do those tests do them to failure and they do them to failure for the other person so okay you pass this test but there's only one reason why you pass it's have something to give them another test and another until they fail and then when they fail they say see you were out to hurt me so that justifies that BPD lens that justifies though that paranoid content so then you close up even more when you block out people that that could potentially be positive and and help you so let's talk about doing some reality testing to challenge that paranoia okay so step one what we want to do is we want to clearly define what you're worried about okay so let's say that someone's going to leave you alright what are those components what if they do leave you what does that mean right so you want to what evidence step two is what evidence do you have that he or she is going to leave you you want to challenge that clearly define what your worry is step one step two which is what evidence do you have that he or she is going to leave you now if they leave you what does that mean for you in your world it's pretty likely pretty like it's highly likely I like that better right it's highly likely that you lived your life without this person in it if they leave you you can live your life again and these issues of abandonment and I do have a video on abandonment I'll put the link here and this abandonment issue can sometimes be so core to those along the border line spectrum that it feeds the surface structure of paranoia so it's important to recognize but I wanted you to challenge I want you think you know what I was without him or her before I can be without him or her again that removes the need to be in that relationship you want to add the want to be in that relationship the want gives you the flexibility to be yourself to assert your needs your wants your interests you it gives you the drive to add you to the relationship instead of being passive and then once you're passive for so long you build it up build it build it and then you explode and that's when all this BPD content comes out these maladaptive patterns come out and all of these other issues but we've got two more steps so that was step two now step three is what evidence do you have that he or she is going to leave you so we want to find evidence in the environment we want to find evidence remember that we went through all that criteria all of it was what that there's nothing to substantiate that paranoia and fear so we want to go through so what evidence do you have that he or she is going to leave you so you want to find evidence for your fear and what you're worried about okay and then you want to define it and then challenge and then the very last step is when you re-examine this fearful thought using that reality testing that we just talked about how do you feel and what do you think take a minute how do you feel and what do you think are you scared are you more calm are you more centered what how do you feel and then process that feeling think about what is that feeling where is it coming from is it coming from a core content of abandonment emptiness maybe you've been selling yourself out to be in a relationship which has always created all this fear maybe there are other issues that has been feeding this fear whatever it is but it is about re-examining it looking at it and then assess how you feel and if it sounds like I'm being repetitive there's a reason why I'm doing that is because we want to build this skill build this skill of challenging yourself to accurately interpret information that goes against that BPD lens that goes against that that tendency to be driven towards paranoia okay and then remember insight is empowerment it's building insight to help you to do it differently just real quick because I feel like that as I went through these four steps maybe it was a little kind of all over step one clearly define what you're worried about step two we want to look for evidence write about your fear step three is what evidence that it's going to follow through and what does that mean for you step 4 re-examine how you feel now that you've added in the the concrete evidence in the environment a lot of times after I do this like with a client a lot of that anxiety goes down a lot of that fear goes down and but they get this greater sense of empowerment and that's what I hope that this does for you and I'll leave the steps I'll put them in the comment section and thank you very much for your time and attention I hope you find this video of great value so please subscribe and take care thanks bye bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 149,764

Keywords: paranoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder treatment, bpd and stress, bpd treatment, dr daniel fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox bpd, life hacks, paranoid, paranoia, ppd, personality disorders, mental health, what is paranoid personality disorder, paranoid personality, BPD, mental disorder, BPD and PPD, bpd symptoms, borderline personality disorder, mental illness, personality disorder, symptoms of bpd

Id: IgL8c5F--Ks

Length: 15min 56sec (956 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 21 2020