BPD Challenges and Success. Identify them for success.

hi so it's dr fox licensed psychologist state of texas and today we're going to talk about opportunity versus concern and these are situations for those that are along the bpd spectrum to take advantage of opportunities that may help you increase your sense of self-awareness increase your sense of self-control as well as to increase your awareness of concerns that may come up of issues that may come up that encourage maladaptive patterns that take away from gains that you may be making in regards to self-control in regards to you moving forward and managing not only how you feel about yourself but how you see yourself and you see your world so let's get into it and please like share and subscribe and here we go now the first opportunity is going to be remissions and it's important to realize that over the course of time about 80 percent of individuals that are along the bpd spectrum experience what are called remissions these are remissions and symptoms and what this means is that those symptoms decrease to a level where you have that sense of self-control where you have the ability to manage how you feel about yourself you're able to maintain employment you're able to maintain relationships fairly well right and you're able to get through it and in some cases of remission these individuals have not had any significant bpd symptoms for two years or more so the opportunity is when these remissions come about that's when we want to focus on building our sense of adaptive strategies encouraging the sense of adaptive strategies and continuing to make good choices that increase the probability of positive outcome now our first concern is resurgences now resurgences are going to happen right and they may not necessarily be resurgence of symptoms from remissions what they may be is resurgence of old maladaptive patterns is it as you've learned adaptive strategies as you've learned more effective strategies that then you ate you're able to go forward but you have these resurgences something happens there's an acute stressor maybe something else has caused you to then regress to a previous pattern of behavior that tends to be maladaptive it's these resurgences and these resurgences are going to happen it doesn't mean that you go all the way back to the beginning actually what resurgences mean is that we have to then refocus our attention on those issues that are coming about how do we manage those issues that have come about and then right what adaptive strategies can we put in place to decrease the probability of these resurgences occurring again and even though resurgences are part of the process when they reoccur they tend to be for shorter amounts of time and less intensity so even though it's an area of concern that has resurgences still it's a positive it's a plus because it becomes less intense and for shorter amount of time the more you use those adaptive strategies so our next opportunity is self-compassion and i think that self-compassion is an opportunity right for us to appreciate where we are even if there's that little voice that family in the head right that tells us terrible things about ourselves and that you know these horrible things i think we need to exercise self-compassion exercising self-compassion not only allows us to feel emboldened with positivity at times right but that self-compassion allows us to get used to that feeling and when we can create it in ourselves on a long-term basis i think what happens is then we become more receptive over time of getting it from others of compassion towards you from others if you have let's say the opposite of that which is a lot of self-contempt and then you hope that everything will be okay because someone else will make it okay like in those relationships i think it's really hard to recognize it it's really hard to see it because i think we have to start with ourselves we have to allow ourselves to be compassionate with ourselves and we have to allow people to be compassionate to us i don't think we can first say well i'll allow other people to be passionate with me and then i'll be compassionate with myself i just haven't seen it work that way it'd be great if it did but i just haven't seen it work that way our next area of concern is emotional triggers and buttons now this is going to happen right but we have to know what our emotional buttons and triggers are triggers are those things that happen right that really activates you and gets you set off maybe you know frustrate you and you become angry and stuff like that emotional buttons are deeper emotional buttons i talk about it in in my workbook about how important it is to recognize our emotional buttons emotional buttons are deeper these are things that bring up feelings and experiences that we've had in the past and that they're intense and they bring up this massive let's just say tsunami of emotions and feelings and sometimes images of really negative past experiences and i think if we're not aware of our emotional buttons and triggers we can get lost in them and then we only or we do tend to get stuck in our maladaptive response patterns that are highly destructive so we have to be aware of our emotional buttons and our triggers so that we can control them and what sets them off so we can use adaptive strategies so our next opportunity for growth is insight building insight is so critical to growth and doing things differently insight encourages growth we have to have insight into how we feel about ourselves how we see ourselves and it has to be realistic we don't want to be skewed right with what we're going to talk about that bpd lens in just a second but we want our insight to be based on objective facts with as much objectivity as we can and i know that that's really tough we have to have insight into ourselves we have to understand the symptoms that are present and understand that for every symptom there are reasons and what are the reasons for those things and it's that insight that helps us move forward and develop adaptive strategies that can help us do things differently we must utilize insight to help us grow insight it does not equate to change it doesn't insight encourages change through behavioral change as well as thinking thinking differently doing things differently and utilizing adaptive strategies that help us live our life differently now our next concern is that bpd lens i talk about bpd lens in my workbook and i think that bpd lens is something we have to address if you have bpd or you're along that bpd spectrum we have to recognize that your bpd lens is in place and that it distorts not only how you see yourself but how you see others how you see the world how you see your future it distorts it towards the negative we have to have a more authentic view of ourselves an authentic view of relationships expectations and how we see others this bpd lens the more we get caught up in it the greater the probability of negative outcome and falling back to those old maladaptive patterns that are so destructive and that's why it's such a big concern in that it takes away from your ability to grasp those opportunities of remissions of self-compassion and insight so that you can create change that bpd lens we have to wear it away and build ourselves an authentic view an objective view and it takes time and it takes practice but you can totally do it you can absolutely do it now our next opportunity is willingness we have to have a willingness to change we have to have a willingness to accept adaptive strategies we have to have a willingness to grow beyond it it's more than just saying yeah i want to do things differently it has to be that we are incorporating the strategies that we're learning in treatment in your workbooks in your opportunities in your experiences and incorporating them going forward and it's using this willingness this willingness to be open to change and doing things in an adaptive and healthy way and outgrowing those maladaptive patterns that keep you locked in your bpd maladaptive beliefs behaviors and patterns and it's building insight right it's building that self-compassion and encouraging those remissions and it's the willingness to do these things and grasp these opportunities that will help you go forward and our last concern is the other side of willingness which is willfulness willfulness is that refusal to accept change that dogmatic intensity right that i'm going to continue to do what i'm doing which tends to be maladaptive beliefs behaviors and patterns that are self-destructive and destructive of relationships and things are going to be different you are going to give in to my way of my expectation of the way that i anticipate doing things the way things are going to go because willfully i am not going to change i'm going to continue to do these things and stop telling me how to do things differently because my way is the only way and i'm refusing to do things differently it's that willfulness and that willfulness is that intractability and that that just being wedded to those maladaptive patterns that keep you stuck and the problem is that willfulness encourages your bpd lens which adds to the sensitivity of our emotional buttons and our triggers and it increases not only the length of resurgencies but also the intensity of them and all of these things are related these opportunities are opportunities for growth please continue to focus on them identify them and build them and so that you can lessen your areas of concern and continue your area of growth and i hope that you found this video helpful if you like the format and the style please let me know i would love to do more of these that's always fun to mix it up a little bit and please like share and subscribe and thank you very much for your time and attention be well and take care bye bye

Channel: Dr. Daniel Fox

Views: 20,638

Keywords: bpd challenges and successes, dr fox, psychology, dr fox borderline personality disorder, dr fox bpd, dr fox favorite person, dr daniel fox, dr daniel fox narcissism, self-hatred and how to overcome it, self hatred, bpd symptoms, mental health, daniel fox personality disorders, Increase your BPD insight and awareness, favorite person, bpd management techniques, bpd help, bpd dbt therapy, dr fox personality, mental health day, bpd tiktok, bpd coping skills

Id: RdrlLAVBj6o

Length: 10min 30sec (630 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 12 2022