BLOODRAYNE BAD MOVIE REVIEW | Double Toasted

well that neck was all you could eat yeah [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] double toasted live in las vegas that's going to be october 8th and tickets are finally available x1 entertainment.com forward slash double dash toasted doors open at 6 00 pm meet and greet and cocktail hour to happen promptly afterwards oh the the the the after party is going to be in the same venue i think it's like two minutes away from the strip it's gonna be a fun show uh it's gonna be a night of comedy music games and as you see the after party we're gonna have tone royale open for us and come on do our thing get your tickets now so these days i think it's still considered cool to hate on ooey bowl is he's the infamous director german director who somehow someway made a career out of directing terrible movies some people say he's won the he he is the worst director ever at the time just well just by sheer number it turns out there was an explanation for all these flops that was on purpose what this man did so as i said just just just weasley as martin says over here always always scheming on something always looking for easing money so what he did was he found a loophole in german tax law something where he found a way where he could make these bad movies on someone on some kind of budget where tax certain tax brackets would pay for these movies and when they would bomb they would still make money now if you want to find out what this is you can like this is cinema blend right here the awful truth behind the worst director in the world ask for the hate for ooey bo the man looks like that there was some kind of justification for that too because uh he's kind of a dick really yeah yeah this this dude just to let you know about this guy uh not only did he brag about this loophole that he got that he had going on brag bragged about it openly say you you know what you you're stupid for not figuring it out yourself you have to see me what i am i'm the only genius in the whole business goodbye just very straightforward with it but not only did he brag about that loophole but when he got caught doing it and they changed that tax laws and and people started calling him out on what he did he got belligerent about it he became a bigger [ __ ] so here's overboard and that is the last update we have only four days to do with the rampage and basically my message is yourself i thought he was gonna be like and you know things don't work out sometimes they don't block out no your portfolio is full of nothing but shitty movies you have not made one good movie now you expect people to be like point is you think you go you and so now you want people to pay for another shitty movie yeah you ain't made you ain't giving anybody any confidence at all i mean he's always been an [ __ ] he really has but that takes it to the next level this this guy yo i mean martin's right you got to appreciate this man because because he even when people talking about his movies like critics he says [ __ ] you don't like my movie you want to fight yeah we at fantastic affairs here in austin he said he showed up yeah well he showed up just to challenge people he said you think oh you want to talk about my movies behind a keyboard you think you a real man get in the ring with me meanwhile he's fighting nerds yeah right turns out the guy can box oh i'm sure he's a pugilist yes but being a boxer does not mean even if you win the fight your movie's still [ __ ] and it'll change anything time has passed though all this forgiveness y'all all is forgiven maybe we could put our biases aside of mr bo here he's like no well maybe not with him right there yeah you know maybe he's a little maybe he's still a little sore but you know the rest of us i think we've all been able to move on and maybe now listen i don't even say this at the time that ooey ball was doing all of this it was fashionable to hate this guy in his movies you know it's no no i want to be that person to say that a wee bowl movie was even just all right you know you don't want to be you know because he's saying that just makes you look like a dumbass so no one wanted to be that person you know how it is so now that time has passed maybe we can look upon his roster of films a little more fairly now maybe not we're not so afraid to look cool in front of people and bandwagon on this or not look like the dumb ass that hey i looked at everybody and said oh come on guys it's not that bad you know i think we're at that moment right now especially with this movie that is considered to be probably in the top three worst movies that he has ever made and that is the video game adaptation bloodrayne a dark force threatens to take over the world michael matson the adventure began oh the adventure is beginning right now people video game adaptations are bad enough the last person who needs to get hold of one is uvo and for a while he got a hold of all he got all of them that's why we can't have nothing nice because this man right here is this video again it's a video game adaptation i didn't know that okay so listen huh they look cheap as hell just a little clip there there's a little little teaser right there yeah it looked like hercules yeah yeah i mean consider considered like a cheap ass female blade you know it's a chick who's half vampire half human she only wants to hunt other vampires out there so she joins up with the some vampire hunters who actually run a vampire hunting camp led by michael madsen of course of course they do and michelle rodriguez and hey if nothing else this makes more sense than fans appears but but it's a low bar yeah it is it is but uh we'll get into other details with this in a little while you know along the way she crosses paths with vampire kings that are trying to take over the world and qriket fathers and all guys yeah we'll tell you about that a little bit but i hope yeah please because i i got mixed up on what was going on well god damn it were doing what they were doing i was hoping you would help me out i don't want to say that i don't think i was going with this movie i got confused [ __ ] is coming together i'm like i do not know what why everybody's doing what they're doing that was [ __ ] that happened i said i didn't even know that where this was leading up to yeah i don't know what the hell happened with this wait that's her father well i was in the pit tap dancing trying to sound just a proper professional hoping that this man knew something i know a lot of times i come in here like no i studied this and this and that but i was just like yeah all right i don't know hey y'all i hope you all even looking for details we can't help you sorry but we'll do the best we can like maybe it's explained in the game i don't know there was a moment where i thought when i was watching this i said i there's a mom where i thought i could see what this is not good but maybe it's not as bad as people say i had that moment too yeah i don't know i don't know where your moment began and where your moment is early okay i'm gonna tell you this now i i don't know anything about this movie i don't even know anything really about the game that much i do know a little bit about the game i know less about the movie i've never even seen a trailer than this i i didn't know i've only seen the title you know i didn't i've done this this thing was so it was so uh it was so come and go in the theaters and it was released in about it was releasing about 900 theaters it was supposed to be released in more but you know of course had something happen with broken promises on the prints and all that kind of stuff so it just kind of came and went so i know nothing about this movie so when i'm looking at this i didn't know the cast that it had like i didn't know that it had i know they had michael madsen in this you know i didn't i didn't know that uh michelle rodriguez was in this you know ben kingsley yeah i didn't know now i did kind of know ben kingsley was in this because i remember you mentioned in people back in the day this is where people are saying oh ben kingsley just picking [ __ ] again you know you you asked me in kings to do she bought ben king's chicken sandwich back in the day he being your movie i'm telling you man sharks for somebody whose last name is kingsley yeah he did some of these shittiest movies back in the day yeah after he won that oscar he's alright well just give me anything you got right now i ain't working that hard no more exactly i got to ask a [ __ ] what you guys i ain't gonna prove this is [ __ ] this is it i can't go no higher than this what i'm gonna do another ice cream i got one i don't need another one oh i didn't even uh people oh don't forget me meatloaf meatloaf isn't it about meatloaf and the thing is whose last name i didn't know was a day oh yeah marvin a day so the movie actually taught me something i didn't know this oh special appearance yes special appearance by billy zane i mean [ __ ] [ __ ] negro that's all you had yeah that's all you had to do why did you leave with that special appearance y'all which means that he just ain't the movie that long yeah that's all i mean special means cameo that's what it means well that that that could be said for every the last three per people they named after the after the credits and billy's ain't still asking a guy but you know he it ain't that special the moment is coming right but i just saw him in a uh in a kevin hart movie man and he was true he was amazing and he was actually pretty excellent i like him i i i'm a fan so that's why i was talking about wild dogs oh that's right he was he was great wild dogs special appearance about because that's true nice guy too excellent excellent actor man i even got some nicest things to say some nicer things to say about them later now granted after the credits one of the first things i'm talking about how this is something where i'm i'm thinking man you know it's not that bad it ain't really good but not that bad come on y'all i'll just blew that out proportion back in the day but now keep in mind i'm saying this knowing that after the credits you do you do see the first things you see is michael madsen with some real bad hair extensions now i'll say this guessing that that might be hair extensions but michael madison has always had crazy hair he always has yeah so i don't it could be real so i'm used to seeing him with wild hair i'll let it slide more on that later but as i was watching this it didn't look as cheap as i thought it would you know because like i said i've never seen this before so with the way people have talked about this movie and all everything that ube bowl has touched i was expecting something much worse asylum level yes is what i was is what i was expecting it looks cheap but more like tv quality you're like something like hercules hercules yeah i thought this was straight up gonna be asylum level so it didn't look as bad as i thought it was gonna be and i i'll tell you something i found the story interesting at the beginning man it i i thought that it hooked you in it jumped right into it with some good things man like that first kill that they did like so you got uh michael madsen and uh what's this guy's name right here something yeah matt's okay so no no i don't think that's jones no they're going around you know killing vampires and whatnot and hey you know they they get the killing out the way early they're at a bar vampire comes in and asks for a drink a glass of absinthe right [Music] ain't full of nobody [Applause] i was like okay man we jumping right into it and you know what i found really interesting was the kind of world that they had right here because uh that's him just killing the vampire for those who listen he just pulled he had a mirror that he carries around one of the vampire hunters saw that this dude and had no reflection he said [ __ ] get your line inside of here and stab them and what i really think what what i thought was cool about this is that after that kill uh when my man just killed a vampire in front of the whole bar so everybody could see this in front of everyone no one gave a [ __ ] at all i like you brimstone people you never make a mess of the place dude's used to it yeah smell right about it anyway the background is just chilling yeah exactly he did something to deserve it yeah yeah but not even looking to see what happened maybe no just another day another day at the bar yeah yeah this happens every day this is i'm intrigued by this world where everybody is just used to vampires just walking the bars and ordering drinks and what really pulled me in was the character of rayne what's that actress name she was in uh i know that she was in terminator christopher walken yeah oh yeah yeah yeah she was in she was in terminator rise of the machines oh that's her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah now what i found cool about this is uh what really pulled me in is when they brought the character of of rain in the title character man who's introduced as a as a freak like i told you when we described in the movie she's half vampire half human and uh i thought it was a cool kind of uh touchwear that and a little bit of good storytelling where they brought her in as a freak introduced her as a freak she's caught by this traveling circus and they they hold her captive and uh they torture her in front of people and then feed her blood so that everybody can be amazed by her vampire healing powers ladies and gentlemen i give you the beautiful rain [Music] damn they dip that in chicken grease yeah [ __ ] they should have rolled out the flour and battered she's allergic to water yeah they're going by some wicked witch [ __ ] like and that's one of the things i didn't understand this is like just so they just kind of been rules it was just water which i thought was for witches no apparently in here it's for vampires anytime you do vampires you get to set your own rules yeah yeah yeah you do you know they did you know they they they make you feel bad for man i mean they read them seriously they like i i you know when you see her being tortured and because they don't just stop there like they know they fry her arm drying on a lot looks kind of good man [ __ ] i want some pop eyes right now what are you looking at that's just gonna say yeah there it is is it too late y'all two-piece tuesday yeah probably i'm gonna go in there and say can i get an arm man by the way your boy chris herman and he said he's gonna go to pop eyes and ask for the two-piece with cheese he don't know hey that's a story for another day all right not just cheese but extra cheese but uh extra fish but they make you feel bad for it man because uh you know they they start slicing ass up like lunch meat you know when you're showing me that right there and we're early in the movie i'm like okay now i want this [ __ ] to get revenge sure on everybody it was making me mad man like i was on this side you it's like so now i'm rooting for her and you know i want her to get and something told me i said all she need they setting this up for her to get back at everybody and they do and i'm gonna say it's a little bit satisfying and the way they get back at her is well first of all she she's just too fine to just lock in the cage so you knew some drunk dudes dick some drunk dude's dick was gonna get everybody killed like that every night like [ __ ] tonight's the night tonight [Music] you know rapists never make they never make words he can't even close his mouth all the way drooling yeah his eyes have closed [Laughter] tonight's the night but man but here's the thing about and it's all it's always happening with drug rapists in movies drunk rapists they always leave they always leave that bottle too close yeah close for their victims to grab it and knock the [ __ ] out of them with it so of course she got the drop on him right there right and the way she did it because he's sitting up there seeing birds and [ __ ] that's what she really got to drop on his ass well that neck was all you could eat yeah [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah she went off she said she y'all should've never let me out this case i was sick of all y'all [ __ ] like a chimpanzee man oh all right now hold still it was slower i really thought he gonna do something too yeah came out with that sword came out like he king arthur and [ __ ] you're gonna do it you know 10-4 last year yeah that was the thing i was i was going along with it but the first sign of trouble was that cheap ass looking sword as hell that [ __ ] like a stick of gum right yeah yeah still wrapped yeah every sword in this movie looks like that whenever there's a they accidentally get to do a close-up you can see that the edge is not the least sharp no not at all not at all but they but they go to town like that's just like that [ __ ] is razor sharp man yeah you ain't done yet yeah [Laughter] damn man yeah people and that's where the good times is that's where the yeah that's where the bus stops and the driver says end of the line get your ass off people last chance to get off yes well i wanted to ride to my destination okay this is your destination on the bus people this is where the bad movie that everyone's talking about this is where it kicked in for me because right after that it's just it's down here i mean even down here it's off a cliff that's just done do you agree with that oh yeah i definitely agree with that like i said that sword coming out was the first thing you do that piece of wrinkly spearmint the rapper and the one person was a friend who was on game of thrones i was like that is a chick from game of thrones yeah the red witch oh the windows looking sad uh yeah yeah she actually tried to help her out but when she won that blood rage she's like you gotta die too yeah well it's just like when a dog goes crazy or something like they don't know they just they don't know what they biting that yeah she didn't know that was her yeah you know what uh which turns into a vampire by mistake yeah yeah actually i thought that was kind of cool too you know what i thought that was the chick man let me see yeah because that rhys van halton all right because i yeah i was looking at that that's like i i thought that was her let me see here help me sit still [Music] rain take [Laughter] [Music] she oh well nothing i can do yeah i mean she does yeah she does yeah and then the thing is that what i thought was cool too is like they you know the movie is pretty ruthless it is right yeah because they they got rid of like they didn't give up no last words no sympathy no she didn't get him she didn't get no last speech what happened you bitten him by a vampire and you don't remember anything that happened we should kill her now please she didn't mean to bite me see this is where i thought they were gonna find a cure or make her part of the group yeah yeah bring her along and help them yeah cause that's your friend you could tell us about it like [ __ ] yeah she's an expert she was wearing the crucifix i gave her when it happened [Music] she is my friend all right thank you yeah i thought i thought because she was a vampire she would still be alive like nah nah so it was little things like that i thought it was that some chicks don't like to have other chicks [Laughter] that's where i thought like this is where uh you know this this be cool and they bring along and all kind of stuff i mean they were doing some cool things early in the movie it was actually uh the i said this is this is cheap but that's something that's like a straight to video yeah kind of movie i said this is working man but then then that [ __ ] rolls straight off the cliff first of all let's jump around with this and talk about many of the things that are just completely wrong with this movie first of all this movie gives tyler perry a run for his money tyler perry's look at the move like damn i'm beat yeah you talk about michael madsen's hair extensions that ain't nothing like a wiga palooza oh oh oh oh there's some good accents here too on the main stage well i'll tell you no nobody gets out a lot no tyler perry and ubi should team up and make a hard movie called wigs because all their wigs are horrible hell to might have given michael madison to pass for his bad hair but that that had to stop there you know because i i could not ignore the rest you can't and you can't let me tell you something first of all the main stage of blood is a wigapalooza when they said special appearance by billy zane they also should have talked about the they also should have mentioned that polyester that's on his head too you can see it moving independently stiff look at people dearest kathryn now is he talking to a person or that dead beaver on his head right catherine got off my head we've talked about this people it's people it's even in the dark you you can't you can't hide how bad and fake their hair look it's too crispy yeah yeah it looks like it looked like it took a hot comb to it that was the moment when i was like okay i abandoned all hope like yeah everything i thought up to this point the positive i'm like this is where i got the win because cause a detail like that that don't make no god damn no it doesn't it looks like he took a hot comb to it to already straight hair yeah and fried it yeah i mean like exactly they didn't do a wig fitting he showed up they and they said we thought you're gonna bring your own why would i bring my own well we got something in the in the in the chest here just put one of these on [ __ ] it's the only thing that's left is a dead animal right here put it on i only got two scenes i guess i'll do it with this you got my check real quick let's see it real quick and it gets crazier the more people they introduce yep [Music] you think billy zane got it bad your boy meatloaf oh it looked like a poodle just laid on his head and refused to leave like it laid on his head sideways look like an animal was trying to hatch an egg or something man even meatloaf was like you got to be kidding me he's looking something right now and the closer these wigs get to the camera you know naturally the worse that they look [Music] i don't know you could just feel the tape and the pins hang tight hanging tight to that head right there cotton candy you're just wondering what what was this wig before anyway outside of a halloween costume yes from party city yeah party city yeah but you can see that when he turns his head you can see the space in between the wig and his skull yeah yeah look at this [ __ ] look at this look at this all of this [ __ ] is like they put lego hair on people just yeah cause it's all stiff yeah yeah stiff and fluffy it doesn't lay down there's nothing natural to it well billy zane's hair looks like lego hair now this you can see the spirit gum yeah yeah you can see this oh yeah i see this see his hair right you can see his real hair under there you see all of his natural hair under there you see the sideburns you see his hair right there that ain't people that ain't shadow that's his hair that's all right hair yeah damn it see i do over the right starting at the left yeah yeah he's like look at him get that thing off your head you might say where was this before mopping the floor just just dried off put it on his head and people the worst one the worst one is the worst one is actually the the simplest one you know the thing is with with with billy zane's hair at least he he has bangs to cover up some parts of it i mean it's the problem with is too stiff and crispy so you can tell this fake just because it don't move naturally even with the even with the uh even with this piece of [ __ ] wig right here even meatloaf at least they tried to fluff it over they didn't succeed in doing a good job at it but they tried to fluff it over to hide the seams when we get to being kingsley that's where they really say kill her let her find the eye or let her try then kill her people look at her like he's like oh holy [ __ ] i can't laugh you can't lie don't kill me people y'all look at this they ain't trying to hide the seam at all look like somebody just slapped a wet rag over his head [Music] like that's not even a wig that's a skull cap yeah like if you pull it down a little bit lower you got to do rag or something it looks like what you put on it looks like the cap you put on under your wig see wait it doesn't fall off yeah yeah it's it's almost like i was like well maybe it's supposed to be like a powdered wig like he's obviously wearing a wig but the more it went on i was like no no no no that's supposed to be his hair and you just can't put this lebron hairline on this man right here you got to make it look like some of this is his hair and ain't none of that [ __ ] coming out his pores yeah ain't nothing that should come out any hair follicles right there i'm telling you that looks like the cap i put on before i put it afterwards yeah something on on stage so it doesn't move you have to put a wig yeah it looks like someone ripped his wig off and then had him do that and sing and didn't tell him yeah this ain't no wig cap god damn chris chris uh christian christina loken she's into it because you know she's making she's the main character this is she thought that maybe just maybe hey this is based off of a popular video game maybe this is my big break they didn't make another one yeah no they made two more yeah she by that point she said i'm out right i learned my left leg this is her first big role after the uh terminator three right is it no i think well i'm not sure i think this is right after that i'm not sure but all i know is like she took it seriously man and she and she's into it she gave it her all i will kill him i didn't say it was good but she's trying she's in she is doing her job she is emoting and that's and in this movie right here that's better than nothing meatloaf meatloaf even came in here meatloaf is over acting his ass off the mightiest of all vampires he's trying i'd like him to not try he's trying to get he's trying my nervousness right now god damn it they always have the big portly guy with the long you know wig with all the women that are topless the you know the creepy and every one of these kind of movies they have that same one the thing he's trying man no he's not he's no he is no that's no no no billy trust me he's trying all right you haven't seen the rest of this okay he's he's trying he's probably putting in too much and i say he's trying even though neither one of those performances that great they are performing because the rest of the main crew they could give up less i've been hunting vampires since before you were born if she was simply a vampire crossing the water would kill her and there's also that that will it sounds like he's got an earpiece and he's gonna find his lines he might actually it's like the head as long as long as hair extensions and my man here is just and michael madison we seeing him act so he like look he's just there to get paid all right like like they really tell him like the overbought pulled him aside michael don't you come in here acting real hard don't worry i hadn't played here yeah don't worry about it keep that kind of [ __ ] to you but your boy just the other boys over here he just he's just bored yeah he's just he's about to he's he's falling asleep halfway through this we have to consider what she is vladimir jesus christ he sounds like he's at a line reading like somebody has a cue card in front of like this this is what it looks like when when people who can't act get on saturday night live yeah and they got the card off screen sounds like somebody just woke him up is it and spoke him up and said breathe this real quick and read this like out of a dead sleep the most the most effort you get out of michael madsen uh is when he starts pulling the george clooney in this what's left of brimstone to him so he can destroy us once and for all made blood rain no what is that i mean i'm sure i did but you said i'm in a minute but blood what yeah if you say i'm in it yeah i guess sure [Laughter] you know and but just like his wig the worst just like just like just like his wig the worst the worst person in the movie is academy award winner ben kingsley and it's funny because at the beginning of the movie they show this uh they show this picture of him in a painting uh during the credits like he's uh like he's uh been painted in oil first of all don't look not like him by the way but yeah i've been franklin but uh the funny thing is is that throughout the rest of the movie he has that same expression on his face they might as well just put cast that painting for the rest of the movie because he is terrible man uh y'all could have drew a picture of him and y'all could've got a car piece of cardboard and threw a smile on it and it would have been would have been probably more uh it had more emotion than what ben kingsley had in this movie uh throughout the whole film hardly any expression at all has assimilated she must be brought to me alive leave me i'll send further instructions it's like they hypnotized his ass to make this movie it's like they hypnotize it and put them on this side you don't even know what the hell are you doing i thought that was going to be a big twist revealing that he was a robot from the future only one brimstone remains bring me my trolls by the way go on this [ __ ] man he when he put his head down look at that you can see it's sliding off it's like it's sliding off and you can see the seams the switch sewn in you can see the top of them and it gets worse if you believe in that it keeps getting worse you know even when he gets up i thought well okay now he has to wake up because now you got to move he even walks like he's a robot are hypnotized find brimstone and destroy it bring the damn fear to me leave no human alive are you sure he's not a terminator or an android bring in the brimstone to me leave no human alive if no no no he made his life it was like is this i mean i don't know if he was instructed to act like this or he just don't give a [ __ ] man he's like i'm in blood rain you would not this is the one where i'm not giving my all on this yeah i mean look you look at yourself and the quality of the wigs and everything you're like no you you don't get me for this right yeah you know you don't get all of me for this and also i'm not making more of an ass out of myself than i already have yeah because he really would have started really going for it yeah they could go one way and go oh man he really knew what he was in and camped it up or jesus christ what the [ __ ] look at this people i mean even when he has to move he don't he don't want to move find brimstone and destroy it bring the damn fear to me leave no human life exterminate it's time and acting as diamonds again you might as well have you if re-release this movie and write in that he's a robot somewhere because that would be more believable than what we're seeing right here if he walked any faster he might have broken into a run he's like all right slow down there's even one point where i'm talking making jokes about being a robot but there is one part where he actually looks like an animatronic is he gonna start saying happy birthday to some kid noises [Applause] [Laughter] in some moments he don't eat listen there's some moments that he like at least he moved his head i mean if it looks like a puppet he moved his head there are some scenes where he just sits there and he just becomes a part of that chair man you don't move at all dude it's like ben ben hey he's like i'm not here right now he's like is he plugged up in the wall charging up right now buffering yeah so the funniest part though he does not want to be there it's so obvious yeah i'm sorry and the funniest part here is when is when they when he just gave up like he's slowly just giving up in the movie like he's at first he's at least moving around a little bit then he just starts moving the head then he just starts sitting in that moving at all and there's one point he just said i'm not gonna even memorize lines anymore there's a part where you can i swear to god he's looking down and reading his lines i should thank you now that brimstone is eradicated and you have so kindly handed me the heart i would never have believed it would have been so easy he's looking at the script he looks like he's reading did y'all see his head going back and forth he's reading there's a monitor down there's a laptop he's looking at i should thank you now that brimstone is eradicated and you have so kindly handed me the heart i would never have believed it would have been so easy yeah it's a teleprompter i would never believe it too slow down scroll down thank you for bringing me the heart comma i would not believe it would have been so easy period it could be come on it's like they're writing a telegraph no back in the 1800s i'm not going to do this again you can cut around it all right looks like somebody telegraph yeah that's a goddamn yeah there's an iphone or something down there he's reading off uh and i spoke too soon about this uh not looking cheap okay the costumes the location is awesome they shot in romania sally i think they went they brag about how they went someplace where dracula actually slept uh vlad then paler you know they bragging about all that so hey cool that's fine everything else no hell no not at all cg you know you don't want to do you do not cg don't need to be anywhere near this movie right here cause you can't afford it cg look just goofy as hell [Applause] terrible and they and it's not just people they got a scene where rain got to avoid traps and uh you would think because they're inanimate objects all right you know at least they can pull that off because they suppose like rocks and metal no hell no no be funny she got over there and just like they should have used that people what they tell you why this is bad now i did not to be fair because when i first saw it i was like oh [ __ ] she did the first first flip nice you know but i did go through it and she did she did make it she timed it she timed it yeah but the thing the reason why this looks bad any person who does cg imagine would tell you this i don't do cg so maybe i'm wrong but i get the feeling that the reason why it looks bad because it's over blurred they say just blurred so you can't see how phony looks just blurred so she can hear up and get through there you know just it's just all just blurred you know the hell out of it man yeah you know so you know that's a cheap trick that people use now you know look not as bad as your boy's face but uh still pretty bad looking man now some people say well man they should should have just used practical effects oh really goddamn sloth from the goonies over here big old piece of rubbing melted brother just like like i said i said it was before i said it look like somebody just chew some gum and put on somebody's head right there it was kind of cool she picked that that bad up and smashed his head in i felt bad for him too because he was doing his job man i know you know what i mean yeah he worked at the monastery where they gave so she goes to a monastery looking for shelter and looking for food and they fed her ass gave her a pile of hay to sleep on and then she could go around creeping where she's not supposed to be well yeah she wasn't she supposed to be in bed and she went around creeping and interrupt this man he just security guy just doing his job and then she does that to her mother just put him down she had to kill him yeah i was like come on you're supposed to be in the first place right she wasn't supposed to be there she's probably asleep if you try to saw the editing right there editing not well not the worst but it's you know we say choppy man it's very choppy the battles in here they got a few battles in here that are edited pretty choppy again i know what they're fighting about there's some some people come and fight the the monks the monks are supposed to be the protectors of some orb or something are they protecting the orb i didn't know if they were protecting or fighting vampires or yeah i don't i don't know man yeah i i yeah i got okay i noticed some magic items that's right there's some kind of orb that they're protecting yeah some gym or something and they're gonna be protecting that and then ben kingsley sends his people over there to steal it and then there's michael madsen's people that come in and help out but people don't matter because that even after a while you can't tell anymore i will say this is funny because the the worst editing here is that you can tell when when uh somebody got stabbed but they were already stabbed before the cut you know what i mean it's like you see somebody you see somebody do this and then you can tell that the cut was already done before they even touched them with a weapon [Music] like she jabs and then they cut to the the the sword already in somebody's face off-screen yeah yes yeah there you go but the way she did it wasn't even the same kind of way that it was already i don't know if you noticed that but yeah yeah well no they do this a lot and he's not even screaming man standing there she was even like it was even like oh somebody slices and then they cut to like squeezing blood packets out of people's stomachs and again leave it to the main caster just half-ass that way into battle [Applause] look like look like he was riding a stick you want to do this or not yeah the only thing that was missing that on that sword was the head of a toy pony right there yeah you know most people most people charge in the battle this fool tried it i don't want to do it yeah you don't want to be there no no no no no no you don't want to be here but none of this [ __ ] you have some buildings yeah billy ain't got that meant that he ain't got that much to do in the movie his role ain't that big and he's calling shots for some kind of vampire cool or something i don't know i don't know what's happening with him all i know is that he that was his daughter so i don't i thought for a while that he was asking his daughter to help the the crew right until until she had her neck snapped by uh by blood rain and i was like oh [ __ ] yeah well she had it coming yeah for that accident [ __ ] even got tired of that [ __ ] she's like i don't know what you did but i know what you said crap yeah she even she even she don't wanna hear that [ __ ] no more i tell you that a lot of things don't make any sense in here uh so meatloaf is a vampire in the movie and he gets killed in the dumbest way so first of all why would you windows in the first place i was screaming at the tv yeah you're a vampire why would you have windows in the first place and why are you up in the daytime at these windows seeing your ass being bad right now by the end of this man every it everyone's so done that there's one of those movies where i can appreciate this way everybody just they don't know what to do they just killed everyone right yeah every everyone just just died like michael madsen and his and his his uh his assistant they just they died man they just take him out near the end all the vampires are killed yeah [Music] she's like damn my side piece but ben kingsley finally shows some emotion when he's killed he just happened to be accessible yeah the finest release from this film sure he's like wait zayn only gets two scenes and i had to stick around for this whole thing yeah but zayn did more those two scenes you did through this whole movie and at the end rain is just sitting there looking the way the audience did after watching this [Applause] [Music] i can't believe what i just seen this this ending this is this is something to write about because you remember how this ending was where she's sitting on the throne and it has a flashback of the entire movie and you're like okay what's this gonna lead to oh back to her sitting there i had the sensible cut oh they had her sitting that throne and it went to credits oh seriously yeah oh wow yeah i was watching it they're sitting there and it did a flashback of the whole movie like what is this and it's just going through it all just to end up back with her on the throne like all this just to run out the clock just to add to the running time well i got the cut where somebody said you better take that [ __ ] out oh my god yeah i got it in this [ __ ] now yeah now my mind ended right here oh wow there so you have to sit there and watch it yeah yeah because because when they do it when she climbs to the and sits to the throne and they start doing flashbacks you're like all right is this going is going to put some new footage in it's going to turn out no no it's like eight minutes of flashback to the old movie like a sucker yeah we we all did the right thing stopping this man but hey he's still out there somewhere we must be vigilant no telling who a bull might strike again but that that movie proved right there i don't think i i'm thinking about it right now i don't think i've ever seen a uv bowl movie man so you didn't see postal no i didn't see any of these movies okay i thought for sure you had no no i did not i haven't seen posters i think i've seen clips of some of these things but i haven't seen i have never seen a whole movie here man because why you all been talking about bathroom except for occasions like this and uh yeah i'd like to thank the german government for finally stopping this madman and a salute to all of you who did not fund kickstarter or go fund me or go you know whatever it is that he is you did the right thing people [Music]

Channel: Double Toasted

Views: 82,984

Keywords: Bloodrayne review, Bloodrayne movie review, Bloodrayne trailer, Bloodrayne reaction, Bloodrayne movie, Bloodrayne 2005, Bloodrayne 2005 review, Bloodrayne 2005 movie review, Bloodrayne Ben Kingsley, Bloodrayne wigs, Bloodrayne funny scene, Bloodrayne bad acting, Bloodrayne, Bad movie review, Movie review, Movie, Review, Funny video, Double toasted bad movie review, Double toasted, Doubletoasted, Doubletoasted.com

Id: L43gmC7pmA0

Length: 51min 5sec (3065 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 13 2022