Bipolar Disorder & ANGER

[Music] living with bipolar disorder feels like there's a giant magnifying glass being held over my feelings especially when I'm not well all of my emotions the good and the bad are amplified during an episode one of the hardest emotions for me to manage when I'm symptomatic has always been anger anger is one of those symptoms that we aren't proud of so most people don't talk about it it's almost taboo like hypersexuality or suicidal thoughts something I've learned is that there's a big difference between normal anger and bipolar anger appropriate or normal anger has a specific cause and a somewhat clear way to defuse it for example I might get pissed at a stranger that cut me off in traffic once the stranger is gone I'm not angry anymore bipolar anger especially during an episode has no clear reason and no clear way to defuse it for example I might go from driver to driver being angry at everyone on the road for reasons that don't make a lot of sense to others in the car I might start driving dangerously when I normally would never do that normal anger doesn't usually cause problems in my life bipolar anger scares the enemy I'm talking about that burning untethered soul-sucking anger that just consumes my thoughts where everything is a trigger and no one can reason with me if some of this sounds familiar you're in the right place as you watch this video try to remember that we have good and bad days just like everyone else not every episode of anger is attributed to mental illness anger also exists on a spectrum just like bipolar disorder there is everything from mild to wild getting to know your specific brand of bipolar disorder is a very important process that takes time so experiencing anger is just part of being human right it's tied to that primitive yet crucial fight-or-flight response that we all have even infants express anger as one of their first notable emotions when I enter fight-or-flight mode I tend to react rather than respond there isn't a whole lot of conscious thought going on with Bipolar anger I'm not always sure what the threat or danger is it feels like the entire world is a threat or a trigger I might bounce from one target to another misdirecting these magnified emotions if I'm not sure what the danger is then how can I know if I've fought it or escaped it I'll come up with reasons to justify my anger in a desperate attempt to defend how I feel the more desperate I get to explain how I feel the more escalated my anger gets when I feel horrible inside I go on this mission to find reasons why sometimes I'll bounce around until I land on a very specific target it's almost like Eureka I finally have something to be pissed off at and then the obsessions start I'll sit there and just marinate and in misery letting these poisonous thoughts circulate and build up momentum my heart rate increases my head feels this stress pressure and I start to shake I feel like an angry volcano ready to erupt into a path of devastation when I'm symptomatic my thoughts get distorted it's hard to pinpoint what's wrong if my anger isn't based on something tangible or logical it makes it harder if not impossible to find a solution for many of us with bipolar disorder anger is one of the most destructive forces in our lives especially when it comes to our interactions with friends and family unchecked anger pushes people away from us many of the people I talked with described feelings of loneliness or abandonment I've pushed people away when I was angry manic then when the inevitable depressive crash comes no one wants to be there for me this in turn just reinforces and feeds the depression it's all very very connected now this might sound strange but some of us are literally addicted to being pissed off the biochemical rush that we get from an anger response is very similar to other excited moods our brain gets bathed in endorphins whether we're pissed off or excited about something good for those of us that don't have a lot of positive excitement in our lives it's easy to seek that rush by being pissed off at something I have to be really careful of this when I'm not well I'll go on a hunt for reasons until I find something to be pissed off at I basically externalized my internal suffering once I have a target for my anger I'll feed it and feed it until I lose my ability to control myself realizing this pattern is one thing doing something about it is another for example I used to slam doors or break something when I'd lose control of my anger I know firsthand how distracting and satisfying this can be if you take away the door or you have the discipline to not break something there's even more anxiety because the outlet that we became accustomed to is now gone the feelings get worse and not better at first when we make the right choice this makes it harder for people to see the benefits of making the right choices so now that I've talked a bit about bipolar anger let's go over some management techniques I already have a video that talks about ten of them but here's a couple more that weren't in the last video so my first tip is to find an anger twin think about this why do people who quit smoking use gum or chew on straws the success rate goes way up if you replace the unhealthy outlet with a similar healthy outlet anger is like misdirected energy physical outlets like going to the gym running or hitting a punching bag are like the chewing gum or straws of anger management if you punch walls when you're angry get some kind of punching bag and put it where it's easily accessible if you break things put a special trash can outside and break glass recyclables instead of dishes if you yell in the scream get a special pillow that you can yell into to muffle the sound keep in mind that these strategies aren't going to feel as satisfying as the real thing just like chewing gum isn't the same as smoking a cigarette if you expect these tools to quote fix your anger you're going to be met with some disappointment you have to keep in mind that these just help take the edge off if you can approach your anger management with an open mind you're gonna get so much further with it my next tip is to have a three dimensional strategy for approaching anger immediate short-term and long-term immediate strategies don't solve the problem but they help give us a little control over the anger once we're in control it's easier to find productive ways to combat the anger immediate strategies are things like stepping away from the situation counting to 10 taking deep breaths positive incantations and distraction I guess anxiety medications would be another perfect example of a short-term fix once the immediate strategies have helped you get some control then we can move on to short-term strategies these would be things like reflecting on the way we reacted or identifying the source of the anger or asking someone you trust if the anger was warranted long-term anger management strategies are the ones that take the most effort but this is how we learn to cope with anger in a variety of situations this involves learning your triggers knowing your warning signs so you can catch it early and even working with a therapist or a mindfulness coach most people will go for the immediate strategies they'll walk away pop a xanax and just deal with it later I'm guilty of doing this myself and it just creates a giant anger loop if you struggle with your anger spend a little bit of time and get that 3-dimensional strategy going so my last tip is to see if the anger corresponds with a bipolar episode I typically don't get angry when I'm depressed or stable I get angry when I manic or having a mixed episode if you're getting angry regularly look and see if there's other signs of mania have you been eating or sleeping normally did the agitation follow a hypomanic episode are you obsessing over a person place or thing if so a medication adjustment or supplement might make a huge difference if you can treat the bipolar disorder first a lot of other things just fall into place cyclic anger is absolutely one of them before I sign off today I want to give a shout out and some special thanks to bipolar advocate and podcaster Gabe Howard for inspiring my video Gabe has a very appropriately titled book called mental illness as an [ __ ] if you want to check it out I'll include a link to Gabe's website in the video description thank you all so much for spending this time with me stay well and I'll see you here soon for another polar warrior video [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Polar Warriors

Views: 77,305

Rating: 4.9588251 out of 5

Keywords: Bipolar Disorder, Anger, Bipolar Anger, Anger Management, Bipolar Rage, Polar Warriors, Bipolar Symptoms, Bipolar Disorder Help, Bipolar Spouse

Id: 1XoP_rXcw4M

Length: 10min 13sec (613 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 19 2020