BIPOLAR DISORDER: Understanding "Manic Standards"

[Music] I'd like to offer an explanation as to why so many of us struggle to find stability with our bipolar disorder I think this is gonna be a profound video for the channel and I'd love to hear what you think in the comments after watching when I was first misdiagnosed as having unipolar depression they put me on a common antidepressant I've mentioned so many times how antidepressant medications can exacerbate the mania it did just that I remember calling my family and telling them how amazing I felt I finally felt alive motivated and enthusiastic about my future for the first time in a while I kept telling people that I quote finally feel like myself again and assumed that the medications were doing their job everyone was so excited for me realistically I was just experiencing hypomania and loving every minute of it what happened next set a dangerous precedent that I like to call my manic standards just take a second and ask yourself when do you truly feel like yourself most of us aren't gonna say I feel like myself when I'm depressed or I feel like myself when I'm blah or just right in the middle most of us are probably gonna say I feel like myself when I'm finally having a really good day or in a good mood of course that's how we want to see ourselves or experience life once we've tasted how good life can feel when we're manic for a while it creates this subconscious standard of how we should feel all the time this literally becomes an identity for many of us without realizing it we start to believe that the only time we quote feel like ourselves is when we feel great it takes some very deep self reflection and self honesty to see this I've only recently realised this myself we all know from experience that manic episodes don't last forever once our brain and body have burnt up all the bio chemicals they can produce we typically crash when I was younger I never truly had stability and had no idea why years later I realized that the metric I was using to measure stability was the mania itself it's simply not sustainable without crashing when I had experience right in the middle stability I felt like something was wrong with my life here's a great analogy it would be like someone being high on cocaine for several months when they decide to become sober again normal healthy life would just seem flat and depressing by comparison does that make sense part of manic standards also involves keeping up appearances in public I've started many new jobs when I was manic and worked circles around my co-workers this set a certain standard of how much work I was capable of doing in a day and it became expected of me when the mania started to fade people at work would start to ask me if I was okay even if I just came back down to a stable baseline like not even depressed people would notice I simply couldn't sustain the same momentum that I could when I was manic if I got downright depressed or actually crashed people would think someone close to me died or something the change was so drastic I remember bosses pulling me into their office and asking what was wrong I had no idea what was wrong all I knew was that I didn't feel like myself that manic people-pleasing happy-go-lucky self that I identified with I would try so hard to push myself so I could keep up with appearances but this always just caused more suffering the same thing applies to college students who set a certain academic standard with their teachers and peers when grades start dropping an assignment start getting turned in late people notice they think that something's wrong with us which in turn makes us believe something's wrong with us right this manic standard also wrecked havoc in my relationships I'd typically be this hyper sexual manic knight-in-shining-armor when I'd first start dating someone it sets these unrealistic standards right off the bat in a relationship my partner's assumed that they'd met the most energetic go-getter with lots of pacion in the bedroom when I'd come back down to my baseline or get depressed everything would change I wasn't as sexual or affectionate which worried the heck out of my partners I'm sure a lot of them entertained the idea that I was cheating because of the sudden lack of interest in sex I also wasn't as patient kind or motivated to do all these amazing things I'd promised that we'd do this stressed me out a lot just wondering what the hell was wrong with me then I would usually go on this hunt for reasons to justify why I wasn't feeling like myself the reasons were usually so far from the true source of the problem I think something must be wrong with my relationship or job because I wasn't happy all of a sudden a lot of the same stuff trickled into my family life as well as a general rule bipolar symptoms typically don't show up until people's mid-20s my parents had 20 some odd years of getting used to me behaving in a certain way when my bipolar symptoms started to get severe in my late 20s I'd missed holiday obligations graduations you name it of course my family took notice they were very confused and concerned I was very lucky personally to have understanding parents when it comes to mental health most families have very little understanding of what bipolar disorder is and it's easy to fill in the blanks Johnny didn't come to your Christmas pageant because he just doesn't care anymore or Johnny just has a bunch of problems and probably just forgot about us again what they don't realize is that Johnny is in bed paralyzed with depression and can't explain to his family what he doesn't understand himself a lot of misunderstandings pain and confusion can come from our family members having their own manic standards of what we are supposed to be like or what we're capable of my whole channel is solution based so now that I've set the stage for Manek standards can cause problems let's talk about some things we can do to bridge the gap first thing is to figure out where your true baseline is for me this is when I'm literally right in the middle I don't feel excited but I don't feel down in any way I sleep just the right amount I'm eating regularly with my usual appetite and I don't have any major triggering events going on in my life it took me years to finally find a good baseline because I spent so many of them chasing the mania I had this unrealistic expectation of how good I should feel on medications I'd get frustrated with medications that were actually working perfectly simply because I didn't have enough of the manic highs to feel what I thought was normal you have to approach the question of what's my true baseline very carefully the next tip I have is to be realistic when it comes to medications meds simply help reduce the severity and frequency of episodes if they're doing their job it isn't an exact science by any means and there's no modern cure for bipolar disorder know that even with the perfect meds you're still gonna have episodes and that's totally normal the goal of medications is to achieve maximum results with minimum side-effects mania can absolutely be a side effect of medications especially SSRIs or antidepressants a lot of us don't see mania as a specific side effect or problem because it's often when people identify as quote feeling like themselves mania is a sneaky bastard like that there's a big difference between feeling great and feeling stable it's up to you to figure out what that is because everyone's different now that we're aware of what manic standards are my next tip is to encourage realistic expectations with partners family friends and co-workers show them this video if you think it'll if you're starting a new relationship or job you don't have to lead off with hi my name is bipolar Bob you can simply say that you struggle with depression it's something you're working on and that there might be times where you can't maintain the same enthusiasm for life let your partner friend or boss know that it's totally normal and okay if you aren't feeling well the sooner you do this the better most people truly don't understand what bipolar disorder is aside from some pop song references and stigmatized social memes a tiny bit of information can help put our behavior into perspective and prevent others from filling in the blanks please remember to not ever use bipolar disorder as an excuse for hurtful behavior this is one of the reasons why the illness is so stigmatized if you screw up tell people that you lost control you're sorry and exactly what you're doing to prevent it from happening again if you keep saying sorry I was just having a bipolar episode that might work the first time but it starts to get old really fast so the last tip I'll throw out there is to not give up on treatment so easily it's really common for doctors to prescribe a large enough dose to see what a medication is doing especially if we're in rough shape or need the help ASAP think about this some of us get wasted from just one glass of wine while others would have to down the whole bottle to get the same effect one person might not even feel the effects of a Med while others might be bumping into walls we all react differently to foreign substances being put in our body and meds are no exception if you can't handle the bottle then just try a glass the goal is to find that sweet spot right in the middle and this takes time of course this is only a metaphor for approaching meds and not an endorsement to start drinking all I'm suggesting is that you don't give up on a medication entirely because of the wrong dose most of the medications I take right now needed adjustments for them to really be effective and I wish I knew that a long time ago if you've made it to this point in the video I can't thank you enough for watching and supporting polar warriors if you're having a hard time navigating through a bipolar diagnosis put a list of questions together and let's chat there's a link at the top of all my video descriptions where you can reach me directly and support my ability to keep making free videos take general care of yourselves this week and I'll be back here soon for more polar warrior videos stay well [Music]

Channel: Polar Warriors

Views: 59,699

Keywords: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Mania, Bipolar Help, Bipolar Support, Manic Depression, Polar Warriors, Manic Standards, Bipolar Disorder Symptoms, Bipolar Tips, What is Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Treatment

Id: d2Ru2Ieovyw

Length: 12min 2sec (722 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 25 2019