Billy Crystal | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

first up talking about a big fan I love this guy the actor and comedy legend who started city slickers analyzed this When Harry Met Sally his memoir still fooling him is now in paperback mister Saturday night here on a Friday Billy Crystal [Applause] standing on all places no no but look there's so much bad stuff in the news that I said you know usually I'm talking to an expert about it I said no I want Billy Crystal good time and you know first thing I want to talk about is I know you tore like I do and I have been in restaurants where people have guns it's like Texas not just Texas but yeah that's one state where I mean I've seen it in lots of places and what you really realized that we live in a little bubble out here wouldn't you say that oh yeah I was I did this tour and it was great but San Antonio Houston there's guns in the audience yes I thought cell phones were a problem right that's a heckle would you seem on the coat rack in a restaurant you see people with holsters I'm in the back of a truck yeah they're very well behaved waiters though I have to say but it's but it's it's um it's the culture that we have and it's it's we love our guns yeah that's the problem that's a problem it's this psychology I agree and it's yeah the language of guns is in our culture what do we want from a politician who want a straight shooter oh look at her she's half cocked you know if the song is a hit it's it's number ten with a bullet a bullet yeah alright watch a football game it's all guns they're in a shotgun offense right you know he's got a rifle for an arm he's got a lot of weapons in his arsenal yeah he looks downfield he's got the receiver in his sights he hit someone to bullet right in the Jess it's all its own [Music] and this horrible thing about well we want we don't want to talk about it now it's not the time to talk right never when it happens I don't understand I don't know of course no it's ridiculous I mean when is the right time I mean we have another hurricane heading away what are we going to talk about that when is Scott Pruett gonna realize that he's the head of the Environmental Protection Agency plus 33,000 jobs we had the worst job report in seven years because of the hurricanes so you'd think the party of business would get that in their head you know one thing that might ring a bell no no bill this is a huge bail turing yeah you know this is a real this is a real guy when you're in places like that i always say this i'm curious if you find the same thing the i like the audience is even better yeah in a red state they are more surprised to see me i don't know about you because you're you know you appeal to everybody I don't have that I don't have that but no I mean you know the Conservatives don't come up but there are liberal people in red states and I find audiences are different in the Trump era yeah it's a lot more shouting out supportively but they're just they are crazy yeah there's a little crazy it feels like wrestling it feels like Trump feels like Vince McMahon from the beginning we're gonna show up Thursday right I don't you know this that kind of stuff there's any awful it's just awful he's so I was on stage and they're very emboldened to say they love to yell at you that's yeah so I don't do a lot of political stuff but I stumbled into a really funny thing I was talking about my old friend Howard Cosell oh and I had known Howard for years you know Howard Cosell and one year one year how Woodward voted the most loved than the most hated man on television in the same poll so he's very similar to the guy running the show right now yeah you know love hate love hate and so I start I said you know I loved him because he was smart he was outspoken he was brazen he had contempt for society and he just as he would say I told it like it is in sports yeah but wouldn't it be great covering the White House yeah there's a guy I want so I started riffing on it let's take a look at this cabinet up close and personal this is the cabinet abducted caller Gary if I've ever seen it let's start with Betsy demas education once it oh one should actually have an education before you get that job and there's Vice President Mike Pence this guy looks like one of the men who chased the Von Trapp family into the al [Applause] so I'm scoring left's and rights right so I finish the thing and you know you finish a big hunka tits then it settles and you move on to your next thing out of the dark a woman yells at me honor the president Oh crowd boos they boo and I went folks I'll handle this I went to college for this let me do this so what does it man honor the president she won't stop so I said what listen when he honors all Americans then I'll honor him big applause from the audience right honor the president she won't stop now you feel like you could lose the show so I said to her listen I appreciate that you love this man I appreciate that I respect that so I'm gonna use his own words on you get her out [Applause] I have trouble being that nice to a trump supporter like that because he's so insensitive but of course it bothered me that he got elected it bothered me more that so many people in this country would vote for somebody so vulgar I know it who's been so rotten to so many people in such a personal way he is the most I mean what is your favorite insensitivity of Donald Trump there's so many to choose well oh well it's when he doesn't say something that's also awful I mean the the the all the comments about from the beginning of the debate I hated the taunting the the little Marco yeah I don't you know now the little rocket man I hate that I wasn't I'm not a big guy so when everyone taunt me I don't like it but you know this guy's got missiles right yeah just shut the up but Holocaust Remembrance Day he doesn't mention the Jews right if any there's if any there's a day to mention the Jews rights Holocaust Remembrance Day then when a march in in Charlottesville and his screaming the Jews will not replace his Jews are not replaces he's the grandfather of Orthodox Jewish children sure his son-in-law who he loves openly as an Orthodox Jew his daughter who he loves suspiciously [Laughter] [Applause] it's a Friday night yeah he doesn't say anything he doesn't say anything except there's some very fine people some very fine people were yelling the Jews or not replaces yeah and that's what you just if there was a God Joe Lieberman would be vice president too when this schmuck is impeach the Jew would replace him [Music] I had a show a few weeks ago with Salman Rushdie and I saw Tim Gunn and then friend Leibowitz is here and and it's for people over 60 and we got to talking about a because I said this doesn't often happen on TV and I thought you're coming on you and I are both now rapidly approaching 40 and my IMDB page and said that they laugh so quickly and yeah but it sort of is the last group of people you can on in America isn't it I mean there's every sort of shaming yeah slut-shaming and victim-blaming and fat shaming and but if anybody screws up who's even our age or older immediately you go to not an individual well what do you want he's 80 yeah you know Clint Eastwood's 85 and Woody Allen's 80 something until making movies yeah I feel it's individual but what do you think well I'm gonna be 70 and feel pretty good that that bothers me it but it's just I hate that oh you're still alive [Applause] when you say I've been married 20 years that's a miracle I've been married almost 48 years that's a real you know I I talked about it on the UH non in my show because that's that's where I'm at now I'm I can't talk about dating right no yeah hey your oxygen of mine you know I can't do that want to see some spider veins you know but that's the way it is and and it's it but it gives me I think a little perspective that I didn't have like there are things that I know I would not do now that I might have done early and things pissed me off more I'm becoming you know the guy in your neighborhood don't hit it into old-man crystals yard you're not gonna get that ball back you know did I earn you're cranky you know what I was really crying embracive Sean Spicer at the Emmys piss me off big time perfect right all people we know taking selfies with him in the green room afterwards embracing him kissing his cheek right this guy this half man/half Jack Russell Terrier was the liar was the was the was the was the voice for this crap you know I mean Hitler didn't use poison gas on his own people even Mel Gibson said I go vote what an [ __ ] but you know so forgets I would never embrace that it's and so would that really turned me off well I hope you keep getting pissed off well I because we have a right because it creates comedy yeah so and but but you know what else bill I know we got to go soon because I saw the three Horsemen of the Apocalypse this this is like doing the voice so they gonna like turn around and look at being going the one thing that is really important about the age I'm at and about where we're heading as a country that I feel really important about is I have four grandchildren and they're 14 11 soon to be 8 and for what world are we giving them what we am I gonna you know help them live in what world are we gonna do that and we're gonna have enough fish are we gonna have enough air we're gonna have enough water we're gonna have people who believe in science so we can maybe turn this around what what kind of world am i leaving it that's what at this age I think about more than anything unfortunately a world where all those questions are open great to end on a down note [Laughter] [Applause]

Channel: Real Time with Bill Maher

Views: 1,405,307

Rating: 4.8051887 out of 5

Keywords: Billy Crystal, actor, comedian, Spend the Night with Billy Crystal, Tony-award, 700 Sundays, Fmr. Rep Harold Ford, Jr., Democrat, Tennessee, Memphis, University of Michigan, Ford School of Public Policy, Olivia Nuzzi, New York Magazine, The Strangely Normal Exit of Tom Price, Steve Schmidt, Public Affairs, Edelman Public Relations, former Senior Advisor, McCain Palin 2008, presidential campaign, Russell Brand, activist, author, recovery, Freedom From Our Addictions

Id: 9C7nZRVqBIU

Length: 12min 9sec (729 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 06 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/reddit-et-circenses]

Get her out.

[u/BonbonausWurst94]

Great Interview