Bill Maher's Trump Special Audience Q&A

[Applause] okay well facebook signed off we can talk amongst ourselves [Music] what are you hey buddy you hate Facebook okay so that was fun right man they was and you know I mean on me I go around the country almost every weekend doing stand-up in crazy places like Alabama and you know what happened was I I've been doing stand-up you know cuz I'm 38 now so sad that that's funny but uh but for a number of years and I am and I'm been doing my show on television for 23 years 23 years between politically incorrect and real-time it's amazing where time goes but thank you I appreciate that and I love your loyalty too but here's the thing in all that time I have never ever encountered a situation like this with Trump in a couple of ways and the one I'm talking about now is as a comedian I've never encountered something that the audience wanted to hear for a full hour even though it's awful you can't take your mind off it and you know so that I said well he's hopefully not going to be in our lives that much after Tuesday so let's [ __ ] burn off this material because it was I mean I gotta give it to him no one was ever [ __ ] funnier I mean it's funny it's funny if he loses if not you know Canada here we come I mean it's just we are all gonna be read [ __ ] in our pants and the other thing about him and you know I don't know how how old folks are in the audience I usually get the whole range but it's so hard to convey two people who are under 30 say how unique Donald Trump how unique and if you if you know a millennium maybe one lives in your house you know it please impressed that upon them I mean I've never felt this way and nobody who has seen many elections has really felt this way about a candidate you know I mean John McCain I didn't agree with him on a lot of stuff there was never a problem he met that he didn't want to solve with weaponry Mitt Romney was a hollow man a thought experiment by Westworld or something I mean I don't know I didn't know what he was you know Ragan was ignorant but not vile Nixon was vile but not ignorant I could have lived with them all this is different this is a true lunatic yeah and scary and somebody who is all about Benjy and doesn't know anything and doesn't believe in global warming and I mean the list just goes it's just it's just a giant nightmare waiting to happen and I guess I would say also that it's the chickens come home to roost in a country that didn't educate its people you know [Applause] I know a lot of young people okay they're all strippers but I know them there are great friends of mine and they make an incredible focus group but but yeah this is this is what happens when we live in a fact free election cycle where a candidate like this man can get up and just say anything I mean when he said that thing about 650 million people coming in a week I was like really there are people that dumb that they can hear a thing like that and that I remember saying once to a girlfriend it just I don't know how we got on the subject but like people are there in the world and you know they just she wasn't stupid it's just they don't they let people out of high school without knowing anything so they never even got to that they never get to almost anything education is such [ __ ] and a lot of the reason is because parents side with the kids and not the teachers when I was a kid you couldn't drive a wedge between the parent and the teacher and now it's all wedge okay it's always the teachers full never their precious darlings anyway she had no idea how with the population of the world is and I bet you lots of people don't so when Donald Trump says six hundred and fifty million people will if you if you don't know what the population of the world is if you don't know that the country is three hundred twenty billion and are you my thing billion really all right you might think the world has seven trillion people in it instead of seven doing it I mean then it's not crazy and it's like I've always said politicians can say anything because the people don't know anything and this is that times a billion so you know I guess what I'm saying is I'm gonna vote for Trump now because I've got my own ass to think about thank you very much ladies not what I'm saying at all I'm saying I'd like Vancouver but please I love my LA I don't want to leave LA don't you love that way [Applause] I've lived here since 1983 I moved out here from New York up in New Jersey New York was second home my father worked there I lived there once and poor I worked there later when I was first doing politically incorrect doing better it was not my challenge and that's you know it's no knock on New York you know it's like you know who you find as a partner in life you didn't wind up with this one she's not a bad person that this one was here first this was my job I don't want to leave here I mean it's colder up there they got weed they got weed in Vancouver that's true I was you know I went there in 1999 because I heard you could smoke you know like in a regular cafe and you can no just to feel that but what I found out was like and only in like one little part of town and you couldn't even buy the weed at the you know yet to score on the street then smoke it in the cafe cuz we need to separate the vice so it's not quite as cool as you think it is but I still got baked you know the day was a success as we all know so does anybody have any questions here well we're just [ __ ] how was it with the president well you know he's a cool cat it was great you know I would have rather had him in our studio with an audience because that's a whole different vibe this was like 60 minutes because I was in the Roosevelt Room with the White House and you know yeah it was cool I mean that was that was that was cool too look I asked him all the questions that I thought our audience my audience the audience that has been and me so scary to this president and the Clintons for eight years I mean I said to him how come it took so long you know eight years in a petition for a guy who gave you a million dollars yeah I'm a scary guy you know and you know he's great he'll answer anything but you know the questions I asked are not the ones he he usually gets about pot about why do we have an empire do we not ask enough of the people you know and ask him to learn anything to vote to eat better you know those those kind of questions which I think food purity which matters a lot to me factory farming and you know California stuff I asked him California stuff we are like 40 million people the biggest state the trendsetter why do we if we you know he was super generous with his time super generous he obviously was enjoying himself but one question I didn't get to is you know he's a constitutional law professor how come California has 40 million people and two senators and Wyoming has two senators and like the population torence but you know hopefully he'll he'll do our show when he's out of office it was great and you know the first thing he said to me you know persistence we persisted all year every Avenue we could you and he said persistence boy it paid off he said that's how I got Michelle to marry me so that's a lesson for your kids yeah it pays to be persisting because I wouldn't let it go and and I when I announced on real-time on Friday night that he was coming on you know I could tell from the reaction of the people they took it very personally they wanted him to be on on that show hell yeah and you know like I said he came through in the end like he did for the kind cuz yeah I'm so glad about that so biggest forevermore I would have been divided about him I would have always said because I'm an honest broker great president but I would have had to say but you know I have this reservation that you know we kind of dissed my crown but it's all good now okay any other question that people have what am I gonna do you know a [ __ ] my pants okay then get done with that you know hold my breath like all of us because this is so uncharted territory I mean I I'm curious to see what the reaction first of all I think one of the ironies is that he's the money guy he's rich got money so he's a genius he's gonna completely tank the stock market before he even takes office because the stock market is very conservative they pretend they don't like Obama they love him because he's calm and smart and measured no surprises no stupidity no unforced errors Donald Trump is all volatile that's what the market hates so if I took my money out of the stock market possible a couple of weeks ago he said you want to put it back in I'm looking pretty good for Hillary eyes you stick to money I know politics this race is gonna tighten up and I didn't realize it would get this tight it's almost as tight as my [ __ ] what who do I think is really gonna win well yes I know we're yeah we are here for the first hour you know we don't [ __ ] know okay pal that's why we have elections we're hopeful but you should not be overconfident I mean you know there was what I looked on my phone the first thing today there was three maps that somebody had showing Trump's path to victory you know I mean some of the states that were looking like in her bag or not in her bag anymore Nevada look good she's behind by six she thought she could win you know there was a high point of optimism oh we could win Arizona and Georgia and you know it's who knows what the [ __ ] be I don't trust the polls completely although that brexit thing is a bit of a myth they did predict that that could happen the the lesson there is they didn't want to believe it same as Trump was always leading in the polls and the Republicans didn't want to believe it oh it couldn't really happen well it [ __ ] did so it could happen here yeah if there is one characteristic I would assign to Donald Trump above all his horrible characteristics vengeful vindictive so states that didn't vote for him people that were against him that's his agenda that's the most important thing if you say something nice like Putin did he loves you for the rest of his life because that's how childish she is putin's a great guy cuz he said Donald Trump was brilliant if you criticize him he's on your you're on his [ __ ] list forever I hope you didn't mean me specifically I hope you meant weird death do I get heckled in the red states you're so funny no they love me so much more seriously there is so many what's a I do cuz I love it because okay first of all nobody in America ever usually wins an election by more than 6040 so that means 40% of the red states or and when a they're so happy you came and they're not politically correct they don't have a stick up their ass about lots of stuff in my regular act that if I went to you [ __ ] would probably get upset about and I've had it about up to here with that any you know the people who were I'm basting Hilary Duff for going as a pilgrim on Halloween can suck my [ __ ] dick I'll move to Alabama before I give up on that idea so yeah I mean that that's why I also I would say this to you when you travel this country what you learn is it's not the state it's city versus country if you're in a city of some size it's all the same Birmingham Alabama looks like Fairfax not as many Jews that's but you know they're not they're not Hicks at least half the population is you know there's lots of people I mean the South is not your grandfather's South I'm in the South all the time sometimes I'm there for days you don't even hear a southern accent it's warm people like that and slowly they're getting smarter the Internet has generally made people stupider but with religion it's done a great service because you can Google Mormonism and go wow you people are [ __ ] nuts you know Mitt Romney used to come to your door with a pamphlet and that's all you knew about it and now so so yeah I mean I love the red states of the places I go yeah you wouldn't want to go you know half-hour outside of Birmingham Alabama that would be a big mistake to walk into a biker bar there but you know so long as you stick to the cities here okay like a badger go to the garbage can you've tipped over before and you'll be such a great question yeah I mean I've been trying to do it for a long time here I mean part of it is that there isn't a viable third you know there's only one of two who's gonna win so it's such a [ __ ] you know idea to begin with I'm a third party it would be great if America had a system where we had multiple parties I mean a parliamentary system does but you know in our system which is fairly unique in democracies we don't have that so it's probably never gonna be viable we've seen about two and a half centuries of evidence on this third parties have always sprang up when they're popular enough their ideas get absorbed by one of the two big ones so they never get really above 20% so they're never gonna win if we had a parliamentary system it would be different but we don't so in that system and I made the mistake in 2000 of you know Ralph Nader and it was a mistake I'm here to tell you I learned look yeah look what we got Bush and you know the world would have been very different under President Al Gore we wouldn't have wouldn't have wasted ten years on climate change you know we wouldn't have gotten into Iraq maybe not the financial collapse I mean some really major stuff so yeah I don't know you know logic I wish I could tell you that logic is gonna carry today just tell them this argument and that's just not the country we live in you know it's when you hear the reasons I was listing some of them you know in the show he's gonna shake things up it's very hard to argue with just that feeling he's up we should run the country like a business if the government doesn't work anything like a business it's like saying let's let's let's run the Red Cross like a crack house [Music] so I wasn't very helpful there was I don't know tell him I'll come over and take a selfie with the biii to tell you well everybody asks me that I don't know I don't know because you know contrary to popular belief they don't like people think I do I've known her for a long time but I can honestly say to my knowledge I have never [ __ ] a Republican and I am proud of that [Applause] and I'm getting a lot of credit no I mean that's just to my knowledge but but I don't know I does and culture believe yes I actually think she does and and you know if you read her books which I haven't but she does go into greater detail and you know it's that's the great conundrum of how can people who are smart you can't deny you know that the Scalia you know smart I mean Ted Cruz clerked for the Supreme Court Harvard Princeton it can't deny that people who have you know [ __ ] [ __ ] beliefs are also smart so I you know that's that's one of the real key paradoxes for me in life Wow you're smart and I still can't get through to you you're smart and you still believe something totally stupid that's a little depressing in how do you get through what's that yeah [Music] so you don't think they really believe it [Music] enough about Dennis Miller let's talk about the other [Applause] let's talk about the election ladies Oh the media yes I I mean I've had such contempt for the media for so long the fact that America they take a lot of blame the fact that the meaning that the people think that Trump is so much more honest than Hillary I lay that at the foot of the media that's the media's I've got to own that one because that comes from the media wanting this to be a close race it's always better for them if it's a horse race so to play up hilary's fairly non-consequential she deflated a few ball she didn't blow up the stadium that's that's the media doing I don't know if that's gonna change because as long as the night asked Obama this the first question was about socialism and I was like does everything have to be for profit certainly health care shouldn't be prisons shouldn't be the military elections and you know newsgathering didn't used to be a profit thing that was a lost leader for the networks they didn't care if they made money on the news division and now they do so it's a race to the bottom and that's why the newscasts are so just trader traders to journalism is what the good news is the good news is the show.i executive-produced vice has a nightly newscast which is awesome have you seen the Vice nightly news gasps yeah it's like isn't it about time we had a newscast like that first of all I love it that they got rid of the anchor [ __ ] you don't need to look at some guy telling you this it's not 1950 just show us what happened with a voiceover and also the priorities I worked with them on this the priorities are much closer to what the news priorities are and no story for three minutes about a one-legged skier you know a kid with leukemia who hit a foul shot I mean slow well every day is a slow news day oh you made this this hole is your neighbor's kid thought it was a pinata we got to build a wall man that's that's so obvious we have got to build a wall that you some gentlemen well that I'm gonna say that makes it more special and it's a it's just the biggest Trump as an orangutan is a okay well it's beautiful thank you very much yeah Yeah right you know what now I could make a bong out of it [Applause] it says me next Tuesday oh my god he's ahead Nevada well thank you I will treasure that I came on your art piece sorry actually looks kind of cool like what happened name's call me yeah you know I don't think he did the right thing that's it's it's weird because it puts liberals in a difficult position because he did a couple of things you know he exonerated her I mean I wouldn't have done it like after trashing her for 15 minutes and then at the end oh and by the way she's innocent that was weird but the thing he did Ashcroft bedside was pretty awesome I was [Music] but I don't know I think the guy just likes to be in the spotlight and that's not a good thing for the FBI director and you know what like Obama said today you know you just don't you just don't put it out there unless you have something I get it that he was in a tough place because if it came out after the election yes it would like whoa Wow why didn't you say this before but couldn't he have said because we didn't know anything before and by the way why can't they know anything before how hard is it to go through one person's emails even if they've written a lot of emails you've got the whole FBI take a few guys off of you know counterfeiting it's only the whole [ __ ] world riding on this read Hillary's email what I don't know so I didn't know what to say about James Comey but you know I he did an [ __ ] thing he really did I mean if this election gets tilted the wrong way you know he's got a lot to answer for exam yes he's for Hillary yes he said something to me and I'm gonna share it just with you and Facebook and then now but you know I I mean the fact that you know a lot of people have made hay about the fact that Obama was so funny mocking Trump at the Correspondents Dinner and that maybe that's why Trump doing this just for revenge yeah that could be he's a vengeful guy and I'm the one who said his mother [ __ ] a monkey so I I am I'm telling you I have a lot at stake in this election I I'm not just doing this for my you know I mean I love doing it but really that I'm telling you I've never never had to know there was never been an election like this never so I'm telling you let me return to that theme younger people this is so unique so different there's never been someone like this who is a no nothing [Music] a vile nincompoop yeah well I think that's I think what if she loses I think the big story is gonna be you know we thought we were a country that was pretty much over sexism [Music] not so much you know I think you know it's politically correct to pretend oh I like a strong woman and you'll dig down a little deeper I don't know you I had a guest on my show and I asked the question you know we're America's ready for a woman president and and she was like oh what a stupid question it's not a stupid question I wish it was a stupid question [Music] well she is a shitty politician and you're right elizabeth warren is a better politician so that's part of it but I think you know a lot of people like to say if you know what if John Kasich was the Republic he'd be wiping the floor with her well you know we don't know until we see what happens because that's when the hate machines go into effect Bernie could have beat him well we don't know what would the Republicans have done with an avowed socialist and Jewish Thank You Jew person right so you know I mean who knows what they would have done with Boca Arnaz if the Indians win the series I don't know what happened tonight it would have looked better okay so anyone what's a I take great exception to the word evil I find that the heights of ignorance there is nothing evil about Hillary Clinton if you are that threatened by Hillary Clinton you were molested by a real estate lady thank you very much ladies and gentlemen I'm gonna leave you with that I know when I'm ahead [Applause]

Channel: Everyday Struggles

Views: 242,858

Keywords: bill, maher, stand, up, standup, trump, special, whiny, little, bitch, facebook, live, audience, questions, q&a, question, and, answer, post, show, postshow, extra

Id: _33bKN15ddc

Length: 32min 11sec (1931 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 07 2016