The Big Fat Quiz of the 00s (Full Episode) | Absolute Jokes

foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] all right hello and welcome to a very special big fat quiz in which we look back at the sight sounds people and places of the naughties or as I still insist on calling them the naughties was a terrible nickname to give a decade as I was just saying the other day to my mate's fart monster in dick splash millions of you auditioned to be on tonight's big fat quiz and after two rounds of eliminations and a grueling month at boot camp let's meet our six finalists first up he was born and raised on the Mean Streets of Glasgow and now he can never go back because he's been seen sitting with Alan Carr it's getting original foreign to Northern Soul it's Sarah militant and taking the Sheik out of Geek Chic it's David Mitchell and finally if you were trying to put together the ultimate pub quiz Dream Team then these two would be literally the last people you'd call it's Noel fielding and Richard iwadi have you got have you got team names Alan Kevin we're going to go forward bed Gay Al and his big Scottish pal he came up with that by himself yeah I didn't even have a say in that I did spend a couple of attempts trying to get Bridges and car calls on Bridges ponds yeah yeah but that was [ __ ] you don't want to see the car coming across the bridges do you that's where they were going with it that's where I was going there Sarah David have you got have you got a team name we'd like to be called team three please could not be any less convenient you could be team one or people could imagine a brilliant team one that can't be televised for legal reasons for some department stores start a ground floor some of them start at one and it really messes you up so that's what we're doing to you wow Richard and Nolan you've got a team name the indoor kites imagine our indoor kites work as well I mean what propels them I'm mad I imagine it's jealousy or just hot shame hot shame what shame's another thing can we be hot shame not shame [Applause] and the indoor kite where were you at the beginning of this decade Kevin what were you doing um I was at a street party I was 13. I think I get my first can of beer I can't believe how young you were 13 in the year 2000 you'll live through this this is all your formative years is this decade it's been a tough decade I was working in a call center but the card lost and stolen still got it so where were you in the year 2000 um I was in the middle of a Loveless marriage but I didn't know I thought I was married I've been duped David where were you in the year 2000 I think I was an unsuccessful comedian you weren't the other half of this Loveless marriage this is the worst bookings disaster we've ever had Richard any idea where you were I was at home for the whole year yeah yeah no it was I I actually recorded an entire series of friends and edited out all the adverts continually that's vcr and that's pausing waiting on Ball Z and that saves on the DVD purchase so that's what I did well well good news Sarah we found something more depressing than yours what were the chances no no where were you at the at the turn of the century I have no idea Jimmy I don't know where I don't know where I was this morning right let's get to it the first round is all about news headlines so let's remind ourselves what happened the naughties was the decade when we lost faith in MPS the expensive Scandal hit some MPS claim they were being victimized God that claimed for anything Smith's husband spent taxpayers money on porno movies he tried to cover up what you've been doing by putting a cushion over his lap using taxpayers money for porn terrible I'd be livid if I paid a bit more tax foreign [Music] crunch through the future of the euro into doubt in Spain they were so wrapped with anxiety many people could barely get off to sleep in the afternoon always without questions right eyes down here's your first round the naughty started with an audacious Heist at the newly opened Millennium Dome what were they trying to steal it was properly like a James Bond style Heist this is we write this down now isn't it this is the quiz the talking is over the exam has begun someone audacious no there wasn't someone audacious it was it was an audacious height the height was audacious kind of totally unordacious person do an audacious Heist for me our next question comes from a very special guest the star of one of the biggest shows of the decade it's Greg Wallace everyone Greg Wallace hello Jimmy now you know how much I love foreign Cuisine but I was so angry when the American House of Representatives changed the name of french fries they did it because the French protested against the war in Iraq in 2003 but what did they change the name to I love him is it one of the responsibilities of the House of Representatives in America to name all the foods I didn't realize that was their system because that must take up a lot of their time legislatively speaking sort of guy we've got to think of a name for all these vegetables and sauces and dips as the Republicans want to call apples bastards Democrats have to fight that to stop that I think I'd want to call it apples bastards yeah it's an excellent coffee bastard to ask for a talking bastard would make me very very happy indeed toffee bastard is a much better known for a toffee Apple because they saw of our bastards because you get round but and then it's then it just goes to [ __ ] in the middle okay and from July 2007 what could you only do in a few select places including bus shelters prison cells and designated rooms on oil rigs have you got something yeah okay all right sort of now I wouldn't be a big fat boys without the amazingly talented children of Mitchell Brook Primary School in needsden and their unconventional school plays they've acted out one of the biggest news stories of the naughties for us have a look and write down what you think the story is welcome back back to a show about questions [Applause] this is your last question for lots of buddies watches your final answer hmm let me think a I mean b C I think it's c i [Music] still yeah congratulations save your money thank you wait a minute that man was helping you hey give me that back you're a Nazi cheetah come with us a remarkable play there so what I need to do is what's the story and I need the name of the protagonist what the hell have you written there hieroglyphics I can't even see what it is Kevin is slightly Blown Away by the technology okay final question in this first round America was devastated by 9 11 but what did President George W bush continue to read after being informed of the attacks what the big factor is so we go straight to the answers does everyone go everything uh the problem children Richard and Noel come on let me hostile I have you got five answers yes we're taking it serious this time okay as long as you as long as you're almost serious house okay I ask you what a gang of Thieves tried to steal from the newly opened Millennium Dome what did you put Kevin let him take the full flashlight I've stolen the actual Dome no what did you get for this the concept of audacity agree with that so I wrote Aswad [Music] [Laughter] the reggae band I'm familiar with their work yes we all are we're not idiots it makes a very good point um we could have written diamonds but you know uh David we did write diamonds yeah well I will accept diamonds I've actually tried to steal the Millennium star Diamond Double look at it so you got it right point to Sarah and David first first one out of the way great okay Greg Wallace asked you what the U.S House of Representatives renamed french fries in the run-up to the Iraq War what did you put potato one I wanted to say potato wangers but rich said no that's a family show Family Show it's a family Quiz I was going to say it Chuck that's what I called fries during the Iraq War oh you knew this one would you go for on freedom fries Sarah David you've got freedom fries as well did they change everything did they change like fillet the fish but it's oh fish so it's sort of a bit French and a bit Irish and Cuisine isn't it it was the most futile political gesture Kevin Allen you got that right Sarah David you got that right two points there no point for potato ones what could you only do in bus shelters prison cells and designated rooms on oil rigs from July 2007 onwards uh did you all get this eventually foreign well it's when you said the bus shelters I thought it must be [ __ ] then but then David corrected me that you're not supposed to [ __ ] in Bush shelters so changed it to smoke you got you got this Alan Kim well I remember because everyone in my mates used to smoke that would always just be sat in the pot myself and they're outside so I was on the gum in the patches tried to stop smoking I wish you didn't know what do you think people wouldn't be able to do and you can't anymore they've ruined everything don't they PC got mad as it is okay the children of Mitchell Brook Primary School perform one of their school plays what new story did you think it was about David and Sarah what have you got um we've got the the coffin major um but then you asked for the name of the protagonist so we wrote Chris Tarrant I think I'm gonna have to give you points for for that that's the guy cheating on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire uh major Charles Ingram Kevin decided to write just the lower half of the center it's supposed to say a coughing cheat but I don't know where I lost it I think after the Richard and Noel what did you go for there all right this is go for it The Manchurian Candidate [Laughter] coming towards the start which is it's like towards the start yeah not towards the end no towards the start well it's a flashback structure right so is it the start is it the end one of the questions and the guy in the audience who's coughing his name was tequin and I thought if you're going to get someday on your team that potentially knows everything it's a guy called tequin I can't believe that's your love [Applause] [Music] it sounds like a goose beam interfered with can you remember when you first laughed and did it frighten you took me out a little bit it was it weird because people looked at me in a weird way when I laughed did you think for about two years that someone else laughing then you saw a mirror and went oh [ __ ] that's me finally I asked you uh what George W Bush was reading on 9 11. what have you put 50 Shades of Gray has been a bit orney and then he had the nose but he had just kept on going Sarah and David you went with um The Hungry Caterpillar because he's learning to read um and that's the one we all start off on and Richard no you went with super Ted you're all wrong man he was reading to A group of children and he was reading a book called The Pet Goat he was informed what happened and he continued to read I think we should find because it was a children's book I think we should get a point as well because the little goat's well awning it gets me off that's a dirty little go at the end of the first round let's take a look at the scores Kevin and Alan have three points uh Sarah and David had four points Richard and Noel have no point so far [Applause] [Music] that's an interesting thing this one piece will make 50 50 to watch on mobile devices or the big screen all for free no subscription required welcome back to the big fat quiz of the naughties this round is all about music and what a decade it was for music sadly in 2009 Michael Jackson died R.I.P Doe foreign there was a lot of violence in and around the UK garage music scene I was actually in so solid crew for a while until M.C Harvey thought I was getting too close to Lisa Mafia and I was like what's popping rude boy he just flipped into flip mode Blaze me call me a perpetrator I've just flossing mccleague spitting the flows but he wanted to Jack me so I gave him a couple of thumps still Thug and can't even touch me for real [Applause] online Dash is a very good thing and then Sarah I would describe you as a lovely piece of name gash [Laughter] okay we'll get over some music questions for you now garage icon Craig David had a number one hit in 2000 with seven days in which he described a very busy week in meticulous detail what was in his schedule that week I'll give you a clue he squeezed four things into those seven days there was arrested oh [Laughter] and for our next question we're going over to the channel 4 Newsroom where Jon Snow is reporting on one of the decade's biggest hits but which song is he talking about let's have a look over to you John a 43 year old jamaican-american man appeared in court today in an attempt to overturn a divorce ruling despite his partner submitting photographic evidence of his infidelity the pictures show the defendant butt naked with a neighbor banging on the bathroom floor his ex-wife claims she also witnessed the pair kissing on the sofa before making love on the counter and subsequently in the shower don't pressed the man said he had forgotten giving the woman an extra key to his apartment and denied that he had been caught red-handed creeping with the girl next door okay uh next one have you all got something for that all right okay so what what uh what song was here come on we're expecting you to do well here no it's a music quiz come on your specialist area okay which chart topping artist had a TV commercial censored following complaints that it was possible to see both his penis and scrotum thank you Lady Gaga Jimmy if he's not Lady Gaga Oh I thought it was because he's about after ourselves which sexuality is rice and which one is chips I would say chips is heterosexual and rice is homosexual surely couscous is gay rice isn't gay courgettes are homophobic the right size the marketing campaign because that's the right side to mean whatever you like and our final music question is from none other than Hard Rock in Northeast heartthrobs McFly hi Jimmy McFly here now one of the biggest musical upsets of the decade was caused by Justin Timberlake who sparked outrage when he exposed Janet Jackson's Bejeweled nipple during the Super Bowl in 2004 but what phrase did Tim Blake and Jackson use to describe the mishap Jimmy what was the question because that's distracted that that clearly wasn't all of McFly so you were distracted that that wasn't all of McFly and the other's dead what happened the other members are not dead well don't introduce it as McFly then because it's not it's half McFly okay all right that last question was from half of McFly write some answers I asked for Craig David's schedule Kevin take us through your answer met a girl took her for a drink made love Times Free and you rested on the Sabbath day what have you got Sarah David we've got uh met the girl took the drink took for a drink had sex uh then morning after pill when you have to go home for clean pants and then a nap no Richard what did you know of his scheduled meetings we didn't do it in order I mean because it started what Tuesday yes no well Wednesday through Saturday yeah Wednesday through Saturday and rehydrated so that was a drink rehydrated is definitely a drink yeah and chilled the meeting love making I think these guys have got a point ladies and gentlemen safety abduct that girl because this sounds like hostel hahaha it does sound a bit longer yeah she's missing Wednesday through Saturday it's less late he rests on the Sabbath probably to do etchings rooms whatever he does this is a very sad story you're making this much more Silence of the Lamb it is the lyric is he took Medical on Monday to a drink on Tuesday made love with it on Wednesday through to Saturday and then on Sunday they just chilled Jimmy did they did they find her oh [Applause] I find the girl from off of the Craig David song they did but he was wearing a skin as attraction Jon Snow reported on one of the decade's biggest hits what did you think it was David what did you put Sarah help me with this answer um this was Shaggy It Wasn't Me that's Allen Kevin it wasn't nay I thought it was most of Boombastic myself because he's had a lot of one hits yeah or Carolina do you remember that one just had a flashback of bogling or Carolina [Music] okay should we just hear it again one more time let's just have a listen hang on why don't you check um yeah that's what we've got going on exactly the facts people what's me you've got two right in a row yeah that's right let's have a little listen to Shaggy [Music] I ask you which count shopping artist had his genitals censored any thoughts well this is a reference to the episode of points of view in which Terry wogan now sir Terry wogans I I think it's not unfair to say immense ball sack never felt more respect for the man you call it junk Terry's jump yeah Terry's girl what's more respectful to dorsa Terry's [ __ ] and balls junk so it's chocolate orange [Applause] let me just tap it on the table okay I asked you what chart topping artist had his gentle censored any thoughts Richard and Noel you proud of what you've written there no it definitely wasn't and it probably wasn't Tina Turner over to Kevin and Alan well he said crazy Kevin is exactly right it's pretty annoying [Music] Mikey stop McFly asked you how Justin Timberlake fly asked us sorry my apologies are half of McFly thank you just fly asked you no Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson describe the unexpected appearance of Janet's nipple during the Super Bowl halftime show what is your put I thought it was wardrobe malfunction Richard Noll we put respectful but I think we're going to put respectful tit Flash Sarah David magic wardrobe malfunction Blake Narnia you know in this case the nipple was Narnia yes it was a wardrobe malfunction I look in his face he looks horrified like with their family history of plastic surgery he's probably happy that the tit's not just in his hand I didn't look nice did it that today it was like a pug dog with a nose ring right it's the part of the show where I introduce a mystery guest all you have to do is guess who they are and how they made the news in the naughties and remember you can only ask yes or no questions ladies and Gentlemen please welcome our special guests [Music] [Applause] these are these are our mystery guests they're very kindly brought their dad along to help ask away are you in McFly did you do something on the television [Music] the Puppet Master there he's right now to know wasn't on television yes yes on the internet did you create YouTube no these internet Geeks they get younger and younger did it involve an animal no are there things are troops that aren't cats then did it make you happy did it mean you're happy and no did it make you ambivalent is this the latest you stayed up this week [Applause] yes yes did you get hurt yes yeah okay no further questions let's write down your answers okay just out of Interest boys while they're writing something down if they were at your school would you would you hang out with them would you play with them no no you're very good boys we're far too old well let's have a look and see what you've got Kevin and Alan what what did you put YouTube Sensations it's what would keep it very vague Sarah and David was it like the most viewed YouTube clip ever I think one of them bit the other one or something like that I think okay uh Richard and Noel what have you got YouTube and then in Brackets attacked by baboons [Laughter] [Music] two were attacked by the thing they attacked some baboons did your voice attack baboons no you promised have you been attacking baboon it's better now we're here no more about it why did you do that let's find out who they are I'm Harry and this is my little brother Charlie who bit my finger so Sarah and David get the point there but should we just should we relive the club should we have a look at the club this is the most viewed 450 million views have a look Jolly bit me [Laughter] ouch [Applause] thank you Henry it's the end of the part now so I've got to do the scores would you mind doing the scores they're just written on the front could you just run around and tell me who's got what foods [Applause] thank you very much indeed boys we'll see you after the play thank you very much [Applause] Charlie welcome back to the big fat quiz the next round is all about how we lived our lives in the naughties the fans and Fashions a trend started in the naughties for wearing charity wristbands to show support for a variety of good causes yellow ones for testicular cancer blue ones for anti-bullying and two metal ones linked by a chain for shoplifting Facebook was launched in 2004 before then it was impossible to know if someone you briefly worked with years ago like the new Batman film or not time for some more questions here are some members of the public being interviewed for a documentary in 2005 what are they slagging off I won't buy it ever walk around in it because everybody gets labeled who's wearing it we're from Sheffield and everybody at home but where is it a bit Thug Life are they chubs wary yeah I'm a child okay so what were they slagging off okay what was that was it what were Champs wearing in 2005 what were they slagging off in that documentary how did this man cause bad breath nausea and constipation and for our next question it's over to Peter Andre hi Jimmy it's Peter Andre here now you might not know this but I do like a bit of highbrow literature which is why The Da Vinci Code absolutely blew me away now I know you've all read it too but this question should be easy for you if you know the movie well enough what was Professor Robert langdon's profession didn't he say Hi Brow literature pretty high Brown yeah What The DaVinci well we had the president reading my pet go earlier so it's all relative we're very proud of Peter for getting through that book okay you've got answers yes in 2006 people started posting photos like these what I want to know is what caused the damage to their TVs rhymes Dr Zeus put that one together what caused the damage today time for some answers what are those people's like enough everybody oh [ __ ] I actually did say that he did say that yeah he said Burberry and you went for you overall the moment before we went with chainmail in the end no chainmail aftershave yeah the medieval perfume Kevin what did you put bought Burberry you know when um what's she called Daniella Westbrook and she wore it old remember that what like this you mean yes that's it yeah they'll get tights in it that is your question there not enough Burberry in that photo I wonder if you can get septums in Burberry I'm getting some Burberry contact lenses so that everything will appear Berber yeah [Laughter] oh no okay how did this man cause bad breath nausea and constipation creating the human centipede [Applause] [Laughter] well that would work wouldn't it but it's a three created nausea bad breath and constipation and it does it does catch the guy right there my head was banging I think it's because his diet made you stink is it Mr it's the exact right answer that is Dr Robin Atkins uh Richard and Noel did you get that no what did you put with his big naan bread face Peter Andre asked you what the character Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code did for a living presumably you all got this it was Jesus his job was Jesus he genuinely thought that I said no he's like no more is Jesus an archaeologist monk pop something to do with the Pope in there and generally digging stuff up and monks okay not the worst answer we've got because Richard and Noel telesales you thought the lead character in The Da Vinci Code was in telesale yeah let's go back over to uh literary genius Peter Andre for the correct answer hi everyone the answer is of course that Robert langdon's profession was a symbologist you know symbologist drummer one of The Da Vinci Code if any of you get a [ __ ] Ed aggressive I showed you some pictures of broken TVs uh what do you think caused the damage erections just silly that's why I I'm ceiling mount my TV and David you think the the smash TVs were caused by Dan and yoghurt because um on the third picture there's a part of it and I thought maybe it was a clue did you have one of these are dead and after about a month I just get fed up it's good at fasting it you worry about oh that's me controlling that brilliant put the Xbox back on it got one he brings it around every Christmas you have all the family and stuff so not only when I was growing up had me dashing out and it kick it your puff like that respawn come on it's like it's not like doing Taekwondo and all that it's only one arm you're an exercising as well so you need to engage in other activities to balance it about that Kevin I've got that covered okay so Nintendo weeks was the was the right answer so one point to you uh no points for Denon yogurt or erections had people thrown the controllers at the screen in Rage no no there was just accidents it was just they were playing the Nintendo Wii tennis or whatever they were playing and it just slipped out of their hand and smashed their TV okay ladies and gentlemen we've got a very special treat for you now Dragon's Den was one of the biggest shows of the naughties please welcome it's brightest star Duncan bannatyne a lot of time there one of the one of Thieves Dragon clearly the best dragon absolutely yes thank you if there's any more in the pitch any ideas anyone got any ideas for the den you know when you're in your car you know you've got your airbag we're putting makeup inside it so if you do have a crash the police have or the ambulance you do look a bit near the mark do you know what I mean an invention you probably feel this you're from clay Bank as well I am Kevin yes from the same area you've got a Scottish accent maybe the thing that smokers can use and they put it to the throat and it speaks maybe changing a voice a bit more like this a lingua phone slash tracheoptery sure that's good from Connery to Roger Moore in one go amazing David have you got any ideas for the you'd like to pitch to The Dragon we've got him here who doesn't like Dragons Den he doesn't like dragons then he said it before yeah I have said if I wasn't gonna bring it up here [Applause] it wouldn't be allowed I just prefer Inspector Morse [Applause] so I'm often asked about Innovations I think many good or if they're going to bomb the degree entrepreneur the Lord Alan sugar was estimate invention in February 2005. and he says he'll be dead finished gone within a year what was that invention thesaurus okay so Duncan asked the question what did Alan sugar say would be finished gone kapook within a year what have you got the Year 2005 calendar [Applause] we thought it might be Twitter ah well he's made up for it since he's always on there anyway Richard no what did you say we put my face on Facebook so we couldn't remember it was one of them we went for this Myspace my Facebook what someone's Nana would call the internet my Facebook okay oh well tell us the answer what was the answer the answer was the iPod ah what's my Alan sugar the great salad sugar got it wrong I thought that would just be that'd be gone you can listen to what all the records you own and carry around it's really nice to be fair most people use iPhones rather than iPods now where and so maybe he was right whereas the amstrad emailer this is successful now as it ever was okay let's see what that's done to the scores Okay Kevin and Alan have nine points Sarah and David are in the lead with 10 points and Richard and null have two points we have two ages ago another short break now now time for me to meet my amazing to Duncan it's an app that lets you announce to your friends and family that you're gay interested I was hoping he would say I'm out and I'd say that's no good for you but that has not worked welcome back to the big fat quiz this round is all about TV in the naughties Judy Finnegan's top fell open at the National Television Awards revealing her breasts to the nation eagle-eyed viewers also got a glimpse of her [ __ ] standing next to her in a tuxedo in 2005 the producers of celebrity love Island took the very best bits from reality TV dating shows and celebrity culture set them aside and made a dreadful TV show What Not to Wear made stars of trinian Susanna or as I like to call them no and maybe so check this [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] sake nice one you're taking the picture you know [Music] [Music] what happened [Applause] [Music] ready for some big fat questions of course you are okay in January 2005 the BBC received over 55 000 complaints about a show before it had even been broadcast what were people so up in arms about 55 000 complaints 55 000 before it was even on it attacker isn't a BBC show Target is not a BBC show no that is that is correct have you got an eye patch on no are you doing this to mess up the continuity of the show okay all right so the naughties was a decade of reality TV so here's a question from one of the genres rule breaking retrobates it's nasty Nick Bateman hello there Jimmy as you might remember my appearance on the first ever Big Brother ended rather abruptly when hashtag put it as a complete bastard but what phrase did I use in a diary room whilst describing my various transgressions so he wants to know who you use in the dining room I don't know we've put nothing okay Dale Winton was the face of which television test endurance in 2001. it ran for four days that's the clue here it ran for four days oh test of endurance do you think has that sofa been sort of made exactly the right length for him to sit on it like that time for another guest question this time from the first and best singer to emerge from TV Fame contests in the Northeast it's Gareth Gates hey Jimmy my career was launched by the first series of Pop Idol where I beat Darius Dinesh but Darius became notorious thanks to his first ever audition Piece can your teams tell me what he did that was so extraordinary what was so unique about his performance that's what made it unique it was Darius and you've got an eye patch on what is going on with you here's an experienced quizzer and he knows that at this point how long it's best to button up have you all got something for that right there have you got something Richard or not we've got a lot a whole we've got a load of junk are you ready for the answers I asked you why bbc2 received 55 000 complaints what did you put was it songs of [ __ ] praise [Laughter] it could have been on though I could have just been sort of facing slightly that way so I continue with not songs or praise um Richard Noll what have you got that is the handwriting of a chimpanzee it's been it's been a hell of a quiz it's taken a lot out for me but Jerry Springer the musical was the opera I think it was more of a musical as well I will give you that you Sarah and David you've gone for Jerry Springer I've not seen it but from what I hear it's more of a musical in a way the name of a sort of biscuit is Jaffa Cake a Jaffa Cake isn't a biscuit it is a cake they you know they have a cook they had a court case because you don't get VAT on cakes and you do want chocolate biscuits don't talk to me about taxes I've got my own problems well no but that's the truth it's legally a cake and it doesn't attract the 80. can you make yourself legally a cake I think possibly if I get myself filled with cream yeah what your accountant makes you do if you say that Jimmy the nation will forgive you okay nasty Nick asked you what phrase you used in the dining room did anyone remember Kevin and Alan you put Nan gashing I couldn't even think it's about 10 years ago love it is about 10 years ago that's pretty much the nature of the big fat boys I should have made this clearer at the top of the show help me kill again foreign [Laughter] [Music] um I've made a mistake but like all things you feel I if you live by the sword you die by the sword he didn't come up with that phrase did he no but he did use it just said it all right but I go sit to one and half of them to the other but no one remembers me saying that when I did in 2003. I remember okay more quiz um I asked you which televised text of endurance was surrounded by Dale Winton in 2001 what did you put it was like no idea to put your hand on a truck and drive all this stuff I missed the game the moment they went in channel five yeah and it was Horrible's on had a hand on the truck for the longest time that is the correct answer you've gone touch the truck and well just in case because Supermarket Sweep was like a bit of an endurance test to watch me back okay and Richard I know you probably got this we just wrote I can only see out of one eye there's a game where you bring on people and they're blind in one eye then you put an eye patch on them and you have to work out whether they can see or they can't there's a lot of holes in the floor and they move the furniture around it didn't last very long a bit longer than truck touch well I can tell you Del Winton fronted touched the truck and very dramatic and exciting it was too let's have a look it's exhaustion that takes its toll on the touches sometimes they just forget the rules have a look at the evidence because if you didn't tell me whilst arguing with fellow contestants about the no leaning on the truck rule Debbie broke the ultimate rule she stopped touching one of the referees has noticed that you've taken both hands off in the vehicle in a long time I'm afraid I'm gonna have to score for you unless you the red car you'd like to come with me clear to say she didn't touch it could you lie underneath it because I'm pretty sure if I lie down my ass will touch a part of it and then I wouldn't have to do anything I mean or you could just get in the truck [Applause] Gareth Gates wanted to know if you could remember darius's audition on pop Idol what did you put what was it when you went baby hit me one more time he sang Hit Me Baby One More Time badly well I mean that's very much that's a that's a fact that is a fact Richard and Noel well Richard wrote why did you take my other eye I said come on let's just actually write Britney Spears well let's let's have a look let's remind ourselves and everyone just be aware this is not pleasant to watch baby one baby baby hit me one more okay time for a special bonus round about movies I'm going to show you pictures from three of my favorite movies of the Northeast which have been subtly improved can you name the films is the first one [Music] okay so write them all down on one screen so what's that movie still yeah no I just heard you say why are we even bothering because you could win this you know you could come on Jimmy what are the current scores I'll do the scores in a minute and then Jimmy don't don't follow me off what are the currents 11 13 4. okay so we might as well go no you know you can make it up wow because there's a massive question that is worth 15 points at the end really are you being serious no genuinely okay is that true that's genuinely true I'm not lying to you I will not lie to you Jimmy is that true I'll give you this eye patch if that's true that is true you probably look good in an eye patch I'll see I have a feeling I will look like a baddie from Captain Scarlett laughs I imagine it's going to suit me now does that did you expecting [Music] um okay second movie okay and the third and perhaps my favorite Timmy is that your accountant okay is everyone got something yeah all right let's have a look see what you put Gladiator I was if you don't know [Applause] I had an audition for that film on Hampstead Heath about a year after it came out they never called they never do still it's nice to see you again Sarah David you got them all yeah yes Kill Bill stroke gym Break by Mountain glad you did okay uh Richard Noll Gladiator I could see kill Billy yeah I think we can give you a point for a brokeback bum bum we watched this at home and we I couldn't understand what they were saying because it's quite a thick accent and so I had subtitles on and when it gets to the first scene where they have sex the subtitles just say moans for about two minutes the dick out of my ass okay let's take a look at the schools Kevin and Alan have 14 points ceramic and David Mitchell have 16 points they're in the lead Richard iward in all Fielding seven points quite a lot to do [Applause] great now uh whilst joined today with some short films about bleach crisps and feminine bloating don't go away welcome back to the big fat quiz of the naughties in this round I'm going to be asking you questions about sport Tiger Woods Golf career suffered a setback after it was revealed that he had extra marital affairs with up to 120 women although he only actually cheated on his wife three times once with a pawn star once with a hotel employee and once with 118 waitresses in the Northeast Paula Radcliffe emerged as our most successful distance Runner knowing she had two young children and yet competed in marathons at the very highest level really brought home to me just how lazy most moms are okay all right some sporting questions for you Fabio Cappello was installed as a New England manager in 2007 what did he ban players from doing in order to improve performance in the World Cup and I can give you a clue it did not work so we should be thinking about stuff that doesn't work stuff that doesn't work yeah sure okay Kevin do you remember this you got it you got it of course you got it I haven't got it time for a say what you see puzzle I'm going to show you some pictures that spell out a sentence here's an example it's uh that's Kevin Bridges there oh yeah me yeah that's Kevin Bridges oh okay it's actually Kevin bridgebridge Kevin bridgebridge is what I call him it's like our pet name okay these pictures spell out a sporting headline from the naughties just say what you see and what is it again just say what you see I know but what's it meant to be I'm not going to tell you what it is sport and for our next question it's over to dance Supremo Arlene Phillips hello Jimmy now being a professional choreographer I use terms like jete plie and Arabesque all the time but I want your teams to tell me in what athletic discipline would you use moves such as the Tic Tac The Landing roll and the cat leap oh what kind of sport okay okay it was popularized in the Bond movie Casino Royale doubts there was not a dance scene in Casino Royale Mr bonds you you have to throw a double okay who managed to set a new world record after spending 71 days crying in the B and Q in the bnq yeah the main beans more than one being cute was the name of the thing he was just a year before a second Branch had opened okay have you all got something yeah do you know who it is Fabio Capello was installed as England Football manager 2007. what did he banned players from doing in order to improve their performance in the World Cup it's a bit roasting delicious what did you go for you went for golf lessons just do reports in general it would confuse them I think I look like when I wish and you've gone forward to know sexy do it with a well the answer is he banned players from bringing their wives and girlfriends or Wags that is sex what he's talking about he's not banned from hanging out I think sexy times is devilishly close Terry you're saying these are England footballers he's saying that they exclusively have sex with their wives and girlfriends that's not I read that's a very good point well made okay none of you got it right no points hey come on to him I asked you to say what you saw so no what did you think what did you see England ashes Victory have that [ __ ] oh okay uh Sarah and David you got it did you see that okay and Kevin and Alan what did you put written lips lips Vic Rosette yeah it's a good answer it's not that wasn't a big sporting headline yeah but you didn't say say what you say and that's what I thought I speak to your supervisor please okay Arlene uh Phillips asked you which sport had moves including the Tic Tac The Landing roll and the cat leap did anyone know this one I couldn't think of the name it's when they jump off buildings and stuff suicide [Laughter] is it free running and Richard and Noel yeah this is a fact yes it was free running or parkour it's also called oh cool are we supposed to believe from that picture that he's actually hanging from that bridge because he looks too big okay who managed to set a new world record after spending 71 days crying in the B and Q Rich you don't know what if you posed your answer to this question your mum I feel like a supply teacher at a rough School it was so yours and look at the card does it say your mum no seriously though is it your mum I saw your mom and being cute [Laughter] out by the garden furniture she's getting the real cheap [ __ ] as well so when I went to Rogers back because he's like a good teacher Mr Rogers didn't come back he's dead did your mom kill him I heard your mom killed him doing sex David what have you put it's just guess I mean yeah Henry VII quite often Henry VII is an answer to a question who won the Battle of Bosworth field for example question no but if that had been the question this would be the correct answer so in many ways is it the answer that's wrong or the question oh let's go funny bit of sense Alan Carr Kevin Bridges what have you put we got angry and went who gives a [ __ ] that's right Ellen MacArthur no I don't I'm gonna give you a point for that that's the right answer a new world record after crying for 71 days in the B and Q is that b and Q then she's cried so much that it looks like the ocean foreign for another bonus round now this is incidentally my favorite question in the big fat quiz of the naughties it's a brilliant question okay in the Northeast there was a brief Grace for singing novelty Taxidermy with products such as Travis the singing trout lucky tom turkey and Rocky the lobster but what was the name of the biggest selling singing novelty Taxidermy of the naughties I need the exact name what'd you go for Kevin about my boss Billy Bass great question it was a good question that's a good question uh and then you've got um because we think that bass is actually what he was rather than his surname your thing fish are less formal than with first thoughts they are less okay and you've gone for Richard and all belly bass and then you've written your mum's real name protects you thank you okay well I can tell you the answer was uh Big Mouth Billy Bass so the fish does have a surname title is he Mr Mr Williams sir actually was made of Sir Sir well you're gonna feel like an idiot because he's here and you'll feel like a fool uh is that yours from home does he see [Applause] if I can imagine that would be very entertaining for nearly a minute what time for another quick look at the scores Kevin and Alan have 17 points Sarah and David are in the lead with 20 points Richard and I'll have 11 catching up welcome back to the big fat quiz our final round is all about people the movers and shakers of the naughties pop icon Madonna turn 50 in 2008 she may have been 50 but she had the body of a man half that age Sarah Palin embarrassed the Republican party when she ran for vice president I'd like to be clear that I'm not calling Sarah Palin an idiot she's an ignorant fascist gun-toting half-wit but an idiot yeah probably okay final round uh have a look at this picture who is this man and why did he have more friends than you in the naughties okay in the Northeast David Blaine captured the public imagination with a series of incredibly pointless stunts can you name three of them okay have you all got three yeah time for another guest question over to naughty's it girl extraordinaire Tara Palmer Tomkinson hello Jimmy hello everybody in 2008 socialite Paris Hilton took the unusual step of launching a reality TV series to recruit a new best friend but what catchphrase does she use to dismiss unsuccessful candidates so Paris Hilton had a TV show where she had to find a new best friend and when she got rid of people she used a catchphrase well what have you written that for you Egypt no that's not apparently you're the Hilton I call Rich okay for the next question we go over to the big fat quiz Masterpiece Theater where Charles Dance is reading from the autobiography of one of the Decades biggest stars whose literary Masterpiece is this chapter 13 poptastic I drove back into Central London parked the car and squeezed myself into my party outfit thanks to my Blacktown Windows there was no chance of anyone leering in I went for the full-on glammed up look a fitted black jacket with nothing on underneath except a Wonder Bra which of course gave me the most Sensational cleavage tight black trousers and heels I was ready for some serious partying before long I managed to locate a group of girls and we were soon joined by Bobak from another level we were all chatting away when my attention was caught by a handsome dark-haired man in a well-cut cream suit he walked past our group and looked straight at me I felt a jolt of excitement he was gorgeous and I recognized him it was Dame Bowers Charles Johnson did we force him to reach okay why did transport for London issue a statement in 2007 saying they were staffed by professional cleaners not professional art critics oh I know this one David is suggesting the answer might be because that is true are you saying that isn't yeah that is true surely that's going to be part of the answer well at least you're saying they were lying they were not in fact staffed by professional critics and they put that statement out to conceal that bizarre proof from The Wider public yes Brian Sewell does all the cleaning on the tube it's a little known fact I'd love to see Saul with a j-cloth oh [ __ ] girl all [ __ ] day okay that's a monsters we all got something yeah I asked you who's this man and why did he have more friends than you in the Northeast what did you put Kevin Kevin didn't guide him I think his name's Tom Anderson but everybody else knows him as that I go what have you got so we've just called him Myspace Tom well that is that's pretty good Richard no you got this as well uh yeah oh what I can tell you it was Tom Anderson and he founded Myspace and you automatically became his friend when you joined so he had a hundred million friends in the naughties okay so points all around there okay I asked you to list uh three stunts by David Blaine in the naughties what did you put um I think it was suspended on a glass cage above the terms is that right yeah it was one of one of the one of the best moments I think was like literally half an hour in someone got a golf ball and a golf club and set up on the bridge and was just firing balls at the dude the British God love him what have you got we've got in a box in ice on a plinth and then there was one at Trump Tower that they called the track Dangler for Richard no ice at times ice times five times okay glasses cards he did some cards that's not a stun though he'd just be cars through it and it was on the other side of the glass yeah that's just amazing how does he do that oh that's better than being in a cube for a month isn't it rockabytes was right stood on top of 100 foot pole uh sat in a box over the Thames held his breath underwater and hung upside down those those were the pointless things he did so David and Sarah get a point Toro Palmer Tomkinson asked you what catchphrase Paris Hilton used to dismiss rejected candidates on her reality show what did you put tough titties just imagine getting out of a car with no knickers on top titties it's alive yeah okay what did you go for saying David we've got you're worth more I Richard know what did you put I think no thought I've sang this to him and that's why he got upset what did you write I'm not your friend and never will be [Music] the picky catchphrase she came up with there's no room I was gonna write that's the last time I iron your pajamas to say teaching and to you never so she would it was pointless make it clearly appreciation it made the whole thing longer it really did yeah Charles Dance read us a slice of pure literary gold did you get the author yes okay what's from the long walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela [Applause] whose autography did you well we thought he was delivering it with such Gusto that maybe it was Charles dances autobiography also we've written Katie Price because we think that's the real answer you've gone for Katie Price or Phillip Schofield his own book we thought that too yeah because and it really he looked like he wasn't even reading it he really made it his own if it's from Katie prices he must be thinking this is a [ __ ] coincidence it was it was it was Jordan or Katie Price if she's got a top on CE but we're forced to issue a statement saying they were staffed by professional cleaners not professional art critics what did you get I thought that maybe they sound like a Picasso on the tube and I don't know but at least I don't know okay uh Sarah and David you put did they clean the Banksy off a wall that's the question what did you put we put white so why are banks there's just a guess though yeah they cleaned up Banksy graffiti valued at 300 000 pounds that is the exact right answer [Applause] isn't it I didn't even know it started gone okay it's time for the final question you know the big fat quiz of the naughties and to ask it my two favorite stars of the decade ladies and Gentlemen please give it up for the Cheeky Girls [Applause] I would ask which ones which one yeah but you give me a brilliant excuse to stare at your boobs this is the original t-shirt from The Chicken Song which is 10 years ago just about [Applause] no you can't a final question okay so we would like to name you three things what word the highest grossing movie the best-selling novel and the biggest selling album of the naughties and I'm just going to quickly say two points each and a bonus of ten points if you get all three of them right and I will say the movie is not Avatar because it came out very late 2009 made all its money in 2010. it's not hard especially the first question is so easy well that's because you've got the answers to [Music] Harry Potter yeah and Amy Winehouse is Back to Black okay Sarah and David you went for um Harry Potter and the philosopher stone for the film Da Vinci Code for the book and Robbie Williams okay and you went for Harry Potter DaVinci Code new [ __ ] this up Craig David [Music] hang on let's both take responsibility for what's happened tonight wasn't Craig David the correct answer it was Mamma Mia really Mamma Mia was the highest grossing film of the naughties and the book it was Harry Potter and the deadly Hallows you gotta Point Harry Potter the best personally I mean this is a shocker in the album it was James Blunt's back to bed yeah that's you boys are you happy for that Great Britain that's what you want you that one yeah it's time for the final scores and who better to give them than the voice of naughty's television second place it's Kevin and Allen Sports the Undisputed winners are Sarah and David a big thank you for our amazing panel all our special guests and thank you for watching the big fat quiz in the Northeast [Applause] [Music] thanks foreign [Applause]

Channel: Absolute Jokes

Views: 151,540

Keywords: 00s trivia, 2000s Nostalgia Show, Absolute Jokes, British Comedians, British Humor, British comedians, British entertainment show, Classic Comedy, Comedy Panel, Hilarious Quiz, James Bond trivia, McFly trivia, Noughties nostalgia, Panel Show, comedy, comedy panel, forgotten pop culture events, funny quiz show, laugh out loud moments, pop culture, retro trivia

Id: XF-K9EjJqXM

Length: 71min 26sec (4286 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 02 2023