Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2011

[Music] so [Music] so [Music] [Applause] hello and welcome to the big fat quiz of the year a quiz so big and fat the channel 4 are dissecting it live on thursday night you can play along at home simply fetch a pen and paper from the kitchen notice a bottle of baileys pour yourself a glass forget why you went into the kitchen open the fridge and begin eating let's meet our teams first up someone who pays great attention to what goes into his mouth and someone who pays very little into what comes out of his jamie oliver and jonathan ross [Applause] next up we have a team that look like a couple of christians that got married in college and have grown apart it's david williams and miranda hart [Applause] and finally a team of opposites a flamboyant jet setting movie star and a straight laced history enthusiast they may not agree on everything but the makeup sex is always amazing it's david mitchell and eddie izzard [Applause] jonathan jamie you've got a team name we're going to call ourselves the lisping ninis my tongue gets in the way quite a bit and he can't say wha he can't say why is that the technical term i can say what i just can't say it list being minis jamie can you say that no or anything to do with sausages hold on i might need a cloth out here this is getting quite wet already there's electrical equipment it's dangerous okay so the lisping ninis yes david and miranda miranda wanted lesbian friends let's be friends is a great name for a team i also i wanted groove matrix the name of the band that ant and deck had in biker grove because like then we're down with the kids do you prefer lesbian friends let's be friends homo we don't eddie david what have you come up with well we came up with david mitchell as an idea your team is called david mitchell this wasn't my idea i thought yes i thought i might seem self-centered okay we're called nexus 6. very cool they were very cool they but they were robots which is slightly different to us but apart from that they could kill or have very good sex so i'm like i'm like a robot that can kill or have sex yep i've done that you've even seen that film i don't remember the nexus 16 that frankly oh jimmy seeing as you are a robot you could perhaps fill us in jimmy i think you look more human when you try and pretend you're a robot the humanity comes out in those moments right let's get started a lot happened this year it was like an episode of lark rise to candleford except that a lot happened and it only feels like it lasted 12 months we start with january and february elton john and david furnish had a baby boy after donating sperm just goes to show what you can do if you both pull together the arab spring protest started beginning an unstoppable movement that just kept on running and if you've ever eaten tunisian street food you'll know exactly how that feels of course it wouldn't be a quiz without question so let's get on with it okay first a lot of questions eyes down you ready to kick things off here's a question from international singing superstar celo green over to uc local hello jimmy 21 year old sports student tom cowan hit the news back in february after his work experience placement went badly wrong what happened so tom cameron's work experience went badly wrong what happened what sport was it if he's not swimming he won't know he doesn't know anything about swimming swimming's [Music] second question if you've seen the big crack quiz before you'll know that every year the children of mitchell brook primary school in kneesden put on a rather unconventional school play it's always adorable what story are they acting out here politics europe economy what was that [Music] [Music] [Applause] i'll save you i'm staying coming over yeah that's just the best okay so you've got to write down what news story look at eddie's concentration faith okay okay next question whose comments were described as appalling prehistoric and totally and utterly wrong in january this year did clarkson have a book out in january i can't i can't give anything away what have you got something have you got something david eddie yeah just we're just what are you doing under the desk are you googling yeah you're not googling are you googling are you what do you mean you're googling give me your phone give me give me your phone give me your phone give me your phone get his phone get his phone get his phone get him miranda get it get it get it no we need your iphone i'll switch it off and we'll put it somewhere where you can see it so there we go it's off i can't believe nexus 6 cheated miranda keep an eye on i'm having a close on you izzard why is cheating so bad okay so maybe he cheated when he said he ran those marathons oh my god all right so um stop googling things uh okay what's the next question um take a look at this picture which banned product is she advertising oh i know is it banned yeah it's a banned product yeah i don't know what it is but i think i want to buy it okay all i'm gonna say miranda all i'm gonna say is i i gave you one job to do i said keep an eye out for that phone where's it go where's the phone where's my phone oh that's some acting skill right there he's got it there take it away seriously jimmy take it away can't you see at school happy leaving it there jimmy at school you can see david was the kind of boy squealing on everyone else going sir he's got a book at the back take it away sir i went to school in jonathan's defense they didn't have schools when he was growing up everyone finished yes yes okay lovely all right let's have some answers okay so ceelo green asked you how 21 year old tom cowan's work experience placement went awry what did you all get david and miranda caught photocopying genitals do you think he was caught photocopying his genitals when he was on a work experience and you remember reading this story in the papers do you i remember dreaming it and we've done a little picture well miranda did it that was the last penis she saw it looked like that okay i could that is there's not a correct chance what did you two go for he was shot by ashley cole with an air gun okay jonathan jamie what have you put there we put shot by ashley cole because but we knew it we didn't google it i thought it might have been one of uh one of jamie's work experiences boys because they're always getting locked in the freezer aren't they and just left down tied up putting freezers getting up vegetables pushed in places and sounds wonderful you can apply if you want we're taking in for next year sign him up let's go back to ceelo greene for the answer did you get it tom cowan had the misfortune event accidentally shot by an air rifle by ashley cole well that's what i call a bad day at the office why would you take an air gun to football training to shoot one of the work experience kids that would be my rationale i would take you there because that would be hilarious next what were the kids of mitchell brook primary school acting out any thoughts downing street has got a new cat that is the correct answer david williams around the heart what did you go for here the lion king because he was dressed up as a lion and there were other animals and then they sang can you feel the love tonight it's a wonderful thing jimmy so they acted out the lion king that's what we saw jonathan jamie what did you go for well i the cat got the job they got a new cat and number ten and to tell you the truth jim having cooked at number 10 a few times they do have the worst kitchen of any kitchen i've ever worked in really they've got a bad kitchen proper who've you cooked for i've cooked for loads of people what do you want well you just said number ten i know you've cooked for lots of people i've seen you on tv which which prime ministers all of them we caught all of them i mean there's people prime minister about some 400 years ago the younger pit the elder israeli the ones that are important well winston churchill was important he's a little bit dead but you know you probably still appreciate it what did you do cheese toasty no i didn't well it was tough because it was just before everything started growing it was in the early spring you get lots of things from sainsburys jamie we had a great time it was an honor to do it yeah when i did the meal right um basically i had mushrooms st george mushrooms were just coming out which are the same ancestry as as the death cap which so i could have actually used death cap and i could have killed them all and we'd be in such a better state right now weren't we you wasted your child in all honesty i genuinely could have if i wanted to i could you know what how essex are you sorry i could have killed them all one you're saying that all of the world's problems that we now face are thanks to you now and just say yeah that's my fault i just i couldn't be bothered to poison them i would argue that by just killing political leaders it doesn't quite solve problems you never know until you try shame on you oliver shame on you i asked whose comments were described as appalling prehistoric and totally and utterly wrong who did you go for david and miranda what have you put bungle from rainbow it was the the guy it was andy gray and the other one i don't know his name just a few minutes too late it wasn't bungle it was richard keys it's an easy mistake why isn't it working because it's over it's over i just have a point for keys they didn't know these stupid bastards well maybe you should have tried cheating uh david uh eddie what did you go for you want me and andy gray and and then we were robin i think you'll find it was richard keys simply trying to google the answer and all right well i could tell you that you you're it was andy gray and richard keys on on sky making those things how specific did we have to be because we got half right and the presenters we said sky is sexist i think you both get a point for that that's near enough okay final question in this round um what was the woman advertising that was banned uh you've gone for david and miranda vanilla ice cream you think that's been banned yeah because it's not as nice as chocolate that's a matter of opinion but also because i do actually know the answer to this and i think vanilla ice cream's as disgusting as the real answer when you really think about it well how do you know the right answer to this but you didn't write it down because i'm trying to make a point what point are you trying to make well the answer was that it's made of breast milk the ice cream so what point were you making my point is you might go oh that's disgusting but if you really think about it vanilla ice cream is made from a cow's udder and that's disgusting well it's not made from a cow it comes from a cows they don't cut the other out and make them that would be pretty unpleasant actually a carrot is a cow's bread so it comes from breast milk of a cow human breast milk which was yummy when we were small but now not so good i can tell you thanks to thanks to our friends at the ice creamists we have some uh breast milk ice cream this is unacceptable okay there you go honestly i will gag jimmy jamie was all over this he not only knew it straight away he knew he knows how much it costs 14 pound excuse me 14 pounds of scuba power where's isaac where's his arms going [Applause] [Music] i'm a bit sensitive i had a medical the other day i will throw up absolutely delicious i can't i can't you're not gonna bring the lady out we're not gonna have to say thank you is this real yeah this is genuinely real you don't know what the bird's been up to sorry little bird i think too i can taste garlic and wicked in mine oh honestly i i i've had four kids it's too much you don't like it you have some at home you prefer yours fresh do you i'm telling you that jonathan and jamie were right as were uh eddie and david about the this is breast milk david and eddie have four points uh david and miranda have no points jonathan and jamie have four points we're going to take a short break and enjoy our delicious ice cream made from breast milk see after the break hello and welcome back to the big fat quiz of the year quiz so big and fat not even andy gray would smash it as the auto correct text message of march becomes the he penis fart go cartography here's what happened midsummer murders producer brian trumay was suspended after defending his all-white casting policy brian trumay said he wanted to represent rural england as accurately as possible and what better way to do that than by acting like a massive racist barack obama produced his birth certificate to prove where he was born although he forgot to bring a utility bill so he still can't rent films from blockbusters wayne rooney was in trouble after swearing into a camera during a football match rooney was seen asking [ __ ] what to be fair to rooney he was just randomly shouting two of his five words it happened to be [ __ ] what it could easily have been kick wee wee or banana [Music] for our first question it's over to welsh acting supremo michael sheen hello jimmy michael sheen here uh my brother charlie sheen had a fantastic year uh in fact he was winning he won all year long he discussed this in many interviews but can you name one physical attribute that he claimed separated him from other mere mortals okay so the question is what separates charlie now i think the question was can you name one attribute that separates charlie sheen from us right yes so i could correctly answer no and get the point well while you're applauding someone being very weasely yes you yes you could but it's not in the spirit of this game okay our next question what was broken by 75 000 twitter users the scottish sunday herald and john heming mp john hemmings mp who's john hemming's mp john he is he's an mp is he he's his own mp that's in some way masturbatory that's the weirdest use of that word i've ever heard yeah i know exactly what you sound like a room doesn't it we all take tea in the masturbator but it sounds like a conservatory that would be the worst thing to do in a conservatory no i said a mystery i'm imagining a room that's like a conservatory but it's designed for wanking i think a room for a wanking is called the mastabatorium now it wouldn't be the big fat quiz without a special report from channel 4 news king jon snow he's reporting on one of the biggest songs of the year can you tell me what the song is american police are investigating a bizarre incident on the highway in which an underage girl was apparently found kicking in the front seat of a speeding vehicle when stopped by police the 13 year old was incoherent and struggled to remember what day it was saying yesterday was thursday tomorrow is saturday and sunday comes afterwards it's also hard to shout gotta have my bow gotta have cereal nothing fears that some form of substance abuse was involved after being released without charge the defendant was visibly pleased stating we we we so excited we so excited jimmy [Music] okay so what song was he talking about it's a song yeah it's a song yeah internet sensation this year huge song okay so next question why did time stand still in central london on march 15th this year oh yeah oh sorry i can't say it he's getting the hang of this very into the quiz now yeah relax and enjoy him watching the master work i'm really really enjoying it's a pub quiz what's not to like okay all right so on with some answers you ready you all got something we're all right now we just need uh like 10 minutes it's like the back of the bus over there okay all right i've got some answers for you all right michael sheen asked you which attributes charlie sheen claimed to have any thoughts on what physical attributes he claimed to have uh david eddie what did you say he says and i'm not sure well he said he he can take an infinite amount of drugs okay no no that's that's not quite a point because i would say at this point i don't i don't consider this answer to be correct no this is not just as well it's our first our first try first okay what do you go for david and miranda and we said he can make a hamburger shape out of his willy ooh because if you you know like when i was playing with yours and i sort of folded it and then we pretended it was a handbag [Applause] my daughter david's her favorite author and now i've got a show of that because she wants to see me on tv inconsistent with writing children's books but yes you can do that you can make all kinds of amazing shapes and it's hard with yours because it's tiny but if you've got a normal sized one you can make lots of things hamburgers etc cocktail burgers you can mutilate your penis it's not penis manipulation it seems to be penis manipulation yes it's it's puppetry of the people yeah okay jonathan jamie get us back on this what did you say i remember him saying he could drink tiger blood yeah that's correct and he had a a super rock star uh dna i think he had let's go back to michael for the answer hello again well there are many things that make my brother charlie so special including but not limited to tiger blood adonis dna and a brain from an extraterrestrial realm well i think you've got to get a point for tiger blood thank you very much how can you have tiger blood he's not a tiger well he's by definition he's got charlie sheen it's not a debate it is a debate should we treat ourselves to love charlie in action some are saying that you're bipolar i'm bi winning i went here and i went there now what i am on a drug it's called charlie sheen um you borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like dude can't handle it unplug this bastard yeah because it just it fires in a way that is um i don't know maybe not from this particular uh terrestrial realm you know and you've got tiger blood adonis dna man it's like get get with the program dude wow whoa christmas future looks pretty fun so you get a point for that uh jonathan and jamie thank you no one else does okay i get nothing i asked you what was broken by 75 000 twitter users what did you think my heart she went speed dating and 17 000 men turned her down and an mp and the sunday herald and the sunday herald also and lambert opec jonathan jamie what have you got yeah it's a toilet in um the glasgow starbucks they broke it not even vaguely oh david uh super injunction correct the answer was of course ryan giggs super injunction against imogen thomas of course jon snow reported on one of the biggest songs of the year but which one initially i thought the downton your kids like i bet your kids liked it no no they preferred that other one which was wave your hair all around your hair as well okay david and miranda your answer we weren't we weren't listening good on you we'll join that question you just watched we were trying to listen but then we was talking about old times and we didn't get it i'm sorry i apologize because i know up to now we've had all right answers but i thought that was lovely what they just sung oh well let's have a listen to how it should have sounded jonathan jamie got that right and no points for david and miranda so why did time stand still in central london jamie thought it was the there's an olympic countdown clock that stopped he put that olympic glock stopped well is the olympic countdown clark stopped david and miranda you went with richard keys and andy so to that i don't understand my specifics so they're gonna it's the game countdown so the olympics will start with dudu like that and then the hundred meters bang they're awesome i'm quite excited that would be awesome instead of a gun you just said whatever are you going are you going to steal them yeah i'm going to go to a few i'm going as well i'm absolutely going what have you got tickets for you you're not swimming are you no i've been asked to be an ambassador for the swimming team wow really wow wow and i'm going to see um tom daley diving so my it's slightly creepy isn't it just to ask to see him because i couldn't think of anything else to you know go to think of another sport in tight trunks so i'm going to see tom daley and then afterwards i'm because i'm ambassador i can hang around in the uh change rooms in the showers that's not what ambassadors do is your wife gonna come with you when you're doing this is that i'd rather she didn't eddie when you refer to david's wife we don't do inverted commas around the word wife well i just are you excited about the olympics the olympics is brilliant now remember this it will not be back in our lifetime this is the greatest show on earth and it will not return last one was 64 years ago next one will be probably 80 years time if you're 10 you'll be 90. this is it baby and it's going to be beautiful i mean it will happen every four years in other countries yeah but a lot of planning is going on for the 2012 olympics sadly most of the planning is being done by al-qaeda now it's time for a special round all about the feel-good story of 2011 the royal wedding the royal wedding brought the country together we united as a nation and said as one he's married the wrong sister let's remind ourselves what happened it's showing the world what we do best and it's fantastic [Music] really elegant yes very elegant we are gathered here in the sight of god and in the face of this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony that thing that they said it kind of shows what britain does really well that pomp and ceremony and the whole thing no one else would you know turn on something like that i don't think we can't have that as our main thing you know just posh people getting married we're well brilliant at that and that's it but we are bloody good at it we've got to mix it up a royal wedding one year and olympics the next yeah and we had jordan's wedding the year before that was equally beautiful the year before that well there's one every year i think apart from a leap year okay so for our first wedding question it's over to x factor judge and n dub to lisa hey jimmy at the royal wedding this year one of the guests grace van cutsem became an internet star but can your lovely teams tell me why yeah i think i know did anyone get an invite jamie did you not get an invite to the wedding you've distracted me no i'm a bit upset really but you had a nice party did you did you all get together yeah i wrote a recipe and dedicated it to them kate and will's pie what's in canewell's pie beautiful it was beef shin barley beer onions cooked slow fall off the bone that's a very romantic dish though is it a big shin pie no it is because when you cook that pie for someone it makes them propose to you it's very romantic what about the lovely music of dominoes on speed dial have you got them on your have you got the iphone app for the pizza delivery i i don't actually yeah and i sometimes do it with my mistakes i'll eat it anyway if it cuts but i mean they track you all over london and shove the pizza down i would like to live a lifestyle where the whole time i've got a garlic bread vaguely following me around okay so we got answers for this what have you got jonathan jamie i think the answer is in her name if i remember correctly grace van cuten van she's a child who drives a van okay david eddie what have you got for this the covered uh didn't she is she the one that covered her ears when the kiss david miranda i did not write this no because i was trying to listen but she very got a very ample bosom to lisa i was really honestly i was just staring at her tits and i've totally forgot to answer it i am looking at them they are nice can we have a look and see why she made the headlines okay that's so there she is it doesn't imply that the sound of the snogging was that loud it's unbelievable she was actually listening to some rave music on the earphone okay so david did any get a point for that no one else gets a point okay next question how did verger ben sherwood celebrate the successful union of the duke and duchess of cambridge did he shave himself have you got an answer miranda yeah and this is this is this is our first official point okay ladies and gentlemen uh you might want to just uh steal yourselves for this it's david and miranda's first point here pretty exciting stuff thank you thank you okay so let's go straight to i asked you how did verger ben sherwood celebrate this successful union of the duke and churches of cambridge he watched babe station all night disprove that okay uh david and eddie i'm guessing well we thought that maybe he cooked his own spleen now we're not sure what the recipe was jonathan and jamie you are our only hope okay he did a handstand he was the guy who did the handstand down the red carpet back at the army the clergy were literally doing cartwheels the virgin ben sherwood doing what so many have imagined but never dare before so let's see what's going on with the scores uh jonathan and jamie have eight david and miranda still have no points david and eddie have eight [Applause] another break now but don't go away there's still well over an hour a big fat quiz to come or as i like to think of it enough time for me to make one of jamie's 30-minute meals [Music] [Applause] welcome back and as the big fat gypsy of may is crammed into the monstrous flashing wedding dress of june let's have a look at what made the headlines hugh hefner was jilted at the altar he said there were no hard feelings two men were charged with the attempted abduction of josh stone good thing they were caught if you kidnap josh stone you'd probably end up cutting off your own ears who can forget the extraordinary av referendum turns out everyone ready for more questions of course you are okay first up it's back to the kids of mitchell brook primary school yay for another one of their special school plays what are they acting out here your saturday night starts here we are the best at singing you are fantastic [Music] this will never work sorry you have to go home now you're not my friend anymore again um an acting master class from mitchell book primary school there okay so what story were they acting out when a twitter user took to his keyboard at 1am on may the first to complain about the racket outside his flat which major international event was he inadvertently live tweeting one in the morning he's complaining about the noise outside his flat and he was live tweeting something miranda david stop giggling you haven't even got a point you've got the right answer well have you really because i've heard this before okay all right for our next question it's over to none other than lee evans lee evans everyone hi jimmy um in june burmese pro-democracy leader aung san su-chi claimed that one thing had been a lifeline during her imprisonment can you remember what it was i love him love him okay do you got something for that yeah miranda david yes oh yes jimmy you keep on saying yes you've got it right and then you've got nothing and you've really got to make an effort you've just so much ever putting this quiz together and you're ruining it we're really trying okay both the queen and barack obama made historic visits to ireland this summer but what did barack do that the queen refused to and finally take a look at this clip and tell me what this old man is apologizing for if if people want me to apologize i can apologize yes i did not have that all of that worked out as accurately as it as i should have or i wish i could have had it uh that doesn't bother me at all so what was he apologizing for sold the clip was it an old clip was it it happened this year it's all this year big fat quiz of the year very much the clue is in the title okay you ready for some answers right let's uh let's get some answers okay so uh you saw the kids at mitchell brook primary school what were they acting out uh sheriff cole out of x factor okay and what what have you gone for jonathan jamie exactly he said poor chez gets fired from x factor because they couldn't understand her accent over their power hang on a second you're a big star in in the states aren't you jamie they didn't really understand me but i had to do certain things to certain people to get the job you speak like why i'm sorry what it sort of comes back to my impediment really it's gifted with a very large tongue let's not say anything more but i found cheryl cole after she was because they just they said they couldn't understand her accent and i phoned her to try and commiserate couldn't understand a [ __ ] word she was saying david miranda you thought they were acting out [Laughter] can you come up again i don't know how to just pump it then go down eddie pump me pop why don't we pump him up again you want me to help jonathan hey you know you're up again oh i didn't that's better oh i had my hand on the wrong knob [Applause] oh [Music] getting fired from the x factor in america you got absolutely right okay second one i asked you which major international event was inadvertently live-tweeted at 1am on the 1st of may did you get this yes okay what did you what did you go um the assassination of noel edmonds because they found that he was in this compound where he'd been hiding for many many years and the us marines came in and they knew it was him because he had a very very tiny beard and barack obama was watching and he said shoot him um and no legends you know fortunately we now live in a much better world is that right you are so close you've got all the detail right there wasn't it it was someone with a beard it was definitely someone with a beard uh jamie yeah i thought it was the assassination of bin laden he got it straight away i think he's right in that little bungalow looked a little bit like where my nan lived okay david and eddie what did you go for cooked his own spleen it's a common answer so jonathan and jamie get the points there because bin laden was i've just james says i should give this guy i've come up with a joke and i want you to be kind okay come on do the joke because i'm not sure this is a good one okay he likes us okay come on do you know where you were when they killed us no that's wrong um when they told me that bin had been killed i said really because there's nothing without he said do it i'll do one back osama bin laden you had it coming i know what you did last summer lee evans asked you who inspired burmese campaigner ong sushi during her time in prison what did you play richard keys and andy gray again it's not the answer to this question but if we go back a few months it's the correct answer you know uh so you've gone forward david and eddie uh dave lee travis's world service uh music show so you think that it's a hairy cornflake yeah yeah okay all right are you going for jonathan jamie obviously radio show saved her life let's go back to lee to find out unbelievably it was the hairy cornflake himself dave lee travis amazing okay um next up i asked you what obama did in ireland that the queen didn't what did you put by miranda on dvd because she refuses to watch it because to her it's quite rude david and eddie what have you got for this we said that the queen drank a pint of guinness that uh barack obama refused to except it's the other way around oh you say that at the last minute okay uh jonathan and jamie what did you think that uh obama did that the queen refused to edward yeah do you think obama did's jedward obama met jeff and then i don't think the queen would understand jedward no they're banging and then i think she would think she was drunk yeah yeah but obama he'd get dead would he be down with jeb would he love jeb wood he'd probably take it i can tell you that david and eddie are absolutely right that's the great dance we've even got a still of obama enjoying a point of guinness there's there there he is and we've got and we've got a picture of the queen being offered guinness and turning it down that's one of those birds that sort of goes into it like that and now okay and finally in this round uh what was the old man apologizing for what what did you go for uh david and eddie uh the rapture the end of the world rapture thing which he missed and then they re-postponed it till that october from may to october okay and what did you go for well jamie said end of the world thing and i said the rapture and then he wrote it with a w so i made him correct it i was not too embarrassed david and you probably nailed it she probably got absolutely right apologizing for writing jimmy carr's jokes [Music] [Applause] well i can tell you that was preacher harold camping apologizing after the rapture or armageddon failed to happen on the 21st of may what an idiot do you think that would be something you wouldn't have to apologize for the fact that the world didn't end you think yeah cheer up mate it's not the end of the world [Music] okay now it's time for a special bonus round about movies i'm going to show you pictures from three of the biggest movies of the year they've all been subtly improved can you tell me what the films are here's your first one the name of the film yeah okay so that's the first one here is the second one oh there i am much better that was a long weekend wasn't it jimmy and the third one i don't see what you're laughing about okay so you've got to name all three movies all came out this year okay okay answers what have you gone for hangover tintin black swan hang over to tintin black swan you've nailed that i think it is fair to say hi jonathan jamie you've gone with it we've got hangover 2 and tintin and we couldn't remember blacks on it and we thought you looked a bit like boy george in that picture because you do look a lot like him what have you gone for david miranda carry on camping the first one was the uh yesterday right the hangover ii there you go the second one was uh tintin i think i looked better than neither and then the third one was of course black swan that makeup you should try that you should try that makeup because you actually look quite nice then you know what with that makeup on jimmy you could be in my transsexual summer next year translational summer they do they there's always transcendental summer's going on it's a tv show now it's a bit like grand design they're always either building an erection or knocking through downstairs to make more room let's check in on the scores uh david and eddie you've got 15 points uh david and miranda are still on nilpoi jonathan and jamie have 14 to say points times of national crisis time for a short break see you in a bit [Music] welcome back to the big fat quiz as we move into british summer time it can only mean one thing it's time to pop on your balaclava and nip to your local jd sports in august riots broke out in major cities and wolverhampton in croydon windows were smashed shops closed their doors feral youths wandered in violent gangs and some streets became virtual no-go areas and then the riots began okay ready for some more big fat questions yes let's in july the phone hacking scandal resulted in the closure of the news of the world but what was the final newspaper headlines okay you've got something for that final headline for the news of the world okay how did a bag of tesco value basmati rice propel one londoner to global fame what the [ __ ] hell does that say i've got a very special treat for you you ready for this yes a special treat okay for your next question it's over to the legendary drummer animal boom fight yeah oh what this excuse [Applause] me okay so what was uh what was his excuse for losing the fight okay yeah okay in which unlikely location would you have been able to find a spinning teacup ride a solid gold dessert trolley and an album full of photos of condoleezza rice david and miranda i can i can only dream hallelujah this is the other way around jamie and jonathan who knows yeah okay they're all over there it's time now for a say what you see puzzle have a look at these series of pictures it spells out a news event like this don't say out loud we've got it we got it you got jamie jonathan come on he's writing a recipe i need to say something you need to say something david my name is just done the australian spot this is what christmas is all about it's actually amazing in my chair suddenly it just it's made you feel sick enough to move you know when it smells sort of gets right into your throat the problem is his anal muscles are shocked to hell he can't he just sounds like this he just sounds like i could sort of tell how hot it was i'm sorry i'm sorry it's kind of pretty much gone okay all right okay well miranda stay there for safety for now so uh did anyone remember the uh the news of the world's final headline yes yes okay what have you got we've still got your numbers that's what they said that's what they said it was a threat did i have anyone here miranda all they get is uh number seven the number 41 extra spring rolls so people were leaving messages with chinese people on your phone yeah no i'm regularly i don't understand you were posing as a chinese takeaway you're also getting calls saying well where's all the [ __ ] food okay [Music] happy christmas britain okay david what did you put we're sorry for being dirty [ __ ] all that dirty [ __ ] it's gone seriously i've got an upset tommy you're going tummy you've upset miranda's now okay david and eddie you went for we've cooked we've cooked our spleen is the spleen metaphorically they didn't mean it lit literally well-known expression for a newspaper closing well that's it should we have a look at the final headline for the news world let's have a look it was it was oh yeah thank you and goodbye okay i asked you how a bag of value rice brought global notoriety to one londoner what did you put oh miranda has the answer richard keys and andy gray it's going to keep on coming until you get a point on that you're going to keep on putting it out because i got it right so what did you put uh jamie we think the bag of whites contained one of willy wonka's golden tickets he got to visit willy wonka's rice factory which wasn't really as exciting [Music] just a large room in which a notice explains that rice is an agricultural crop and isn't manufacturing there's a pillow room and there's a boiled room and there's an egg fried room and that's it i wish i had an egg fried room i'd spend all day in the egg fried room i think davey williams has quite recently okay uh david you you've got this what have you put well we don't know the answer so we guessed i was wondering did he fight rioters to stop them stealing it that is almost the opposite of what happened uh what basically happened was he looted a bag of value rice and then posted a photo on the internet proudly holding it have you ever stolen anything eddie is that yeah i stole makeup when i was 15. wow and i got caught hang on let's come to this you see go on about being a trans i never see you in a dress i know but it's a brilliant tax dodge i've never worn a dress so i you know i'm new in this area can i just say i've never thought that when i came out as being a transvestite i get hassled by people saying you're not a transvestite you're not dressing up as a woman enough i like it exactly it's completely inverse we have moved into the third millennium surely another transvestite and people bullying me at school you're not a transvestite okay that's great that we've got to this place thank you they still haven't caught this fella he's well he's probably eating a lot of rice he's much bigger now i like i like i think it's official i think we've hit a new low on this show i just wanted to put that out there i like rice that is one of your best stories start with that story i was somewhat baffled in the riots because like you know when it was all kicking off in clapham yeah well you know they did the whole street and the only two shops they didn't do was waterstones and my cookery school and i just couldn't get me around it but to be fair apparently there was a dvd shop near me and they were smashing the window to put his dvd back in okay animal asked you what excuse boxer david haygay for losing his fight what did you get broken toe probably he had sore wrists so he's fighting like that couldn't get no purchase with a strong wrist you know that yeah [Laughter] david eddie what did you put broken big toe small toe well let's go back to animal for the answer he says broke his tail [Laughter] and the monkey fight him boom boom [Music] and jamie and you got that david and eddie and you didn't get that david miranda there's a pattern emerging here we're gonna break that pattern very soon okay so in which location an unlikely location we think would you have been able to find the following items a spinning teacup ride a solid gold dessert trolley and an album full of photos of condoleezza rice david and miranda come on you can get a point here you've got your parents house because you're on the ride eating your food looking at pictures of condoleezza rice and touching yourself it's not it's it's gold one of my house is gold-plated solid gold okay what did you go for we were we wasn't sure if it was your place michael jackson's or actually we settled on david williams's masturbatorium right or wrong it's disgusting what did you get uh jonathan and jamie could not get this at all we were thinking it's hard there's a harp there's a pair half of us so in the end we went for some pictures of some balls the nazis are in uh david eddie any any thoughts on this we got it right you think you've got a bro well let's just check in with david and miranda because you haven't got any points so far what do you think this is seven born that is the correct first answer [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] thank you that's great oh well done i'm you are not you're not currently in the lead but you are you're on the board we're third close again you're on third place not bad not bad now it's time for who am i the part of the show why i introduce a mystery car another point just just wait and listen to the whole thing oh i'm sorry i'm sorry now it's time for who am i jimmy carr [Applause] now it's time for the part of the show that doesn't have a name but it's where i introduce a mystery guest all you have to do is guess who they are and how they made the news ladies and gentlemen please welcome our mystery guests now you can ask yes and no questions only okay a couple of little questions and then you have to tell me why this lady made the news okay i love your hair it looks lovely is it something to do with fashion or design or shops or something no i can confirm this is not vivienne westport is what you're involved in on the news were you on youtube was it an internet thing yes well were you to do with the riots no was it on the news yes do you believe eddie izzard is an actual transvestite you can answer that do you think he's actually no no [Applause] no what have you bought jimmy carr's new dvd no no well the color the jacket you're wearing was that the same color you were wearing in the thing that appeared on the internet yes thank you and can i say what a lovely sort of jacket it is yes did you become famous uh doing something good yeah i think david williams has just had one of these moments um don't answer you've got to write it down if you think you know oh okay so we've got three answers so who do you want to go to first who do you think who do you think will know i think the middle class the middle okay so we don't have names i i think she stopped a robber um with a handbag okay and jonathan and jamie what have you gone for we've had to go here we saw i think you're the lady who with the handbag attacks some uh guys trying to smash into a sharpie the keys are on the motorbike you look like me and then the guy like the naked chef it looks like jamie ryden off and you quite rightly attacked him eddie david what have you got we said that she saved a spleen from certain deaths have a look at what this lady did and why she made the news this is incredible [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] that is pretty impressive pretty impressive stuff that is that's an intention there we foiled a robbery using using just you've got to tell us what happened that's why i'm so you're wandering down the high street you see some guys going towards a bank i was talking to a friend actually and uh we heard some revving of engines and a clash when i turned around it looked like one boy was being chased by three others and they'd got sticks i knew they got sticks i didn't know they were sledgehammers but there were sticks to me hey you know sticks legends samson and i raced up because i thought the one boy was going to get such a beating and i wasn't going to stand there and watch it bless you and then and then did you did you realize there was a robbery taking place about three or four yards from the actual point um the four boys came round the bend and was smashing the glass of the windows with sledgehammers but i'd already got there i just thought oops and i just went straight in we need more people like this this is amazing but did they what happened in the end what's the ending did they catch them yes can i ask what on earth do you carry in your hand yeah just one thing that guy went flying right i reckon visit wife not quite you're a good woman we love you you're amazing it's probably amazing i mean i'm not quibbling or anything but where were you doing the august riots because no one's having to go but you should really have been in croydon keeping an eye out because it all kicked off we needed about an army of you let's just check in on the on the scores at the end of that david and eddie have 18 points uh jonathan and jamie are training with 16 david and miranda have two points [Applause] we're going to take a short break now but let's hear it one more time for super gran and timson everyone [Applause] welcome back to the big fat quiz and as a special treat we've got a bonus round all about this year's television downton abbey went from strength to strength despite its setting downton abbey deals with the issues that are still relevant today there's not a day goes by that i don't worry about whether it's okay to hit a servant with an open hand the show won two baftas five emmys and maggie smith won the cover to jimmy carr you know what i still would award you just saying handsome woman okay 2011 was the year of the scripted reality show with made in chelsea the only way is essex geordie shaw and desperate scouse wives all pulling in big audiences i like to shorten the only way as essex by switching it off halfway through made in chelsea was a brilliant idea for a show it was ruined for me though by one small detail everyone in it and everything they didn't said let's have a look at some of this year's tv highlights on your marks get set where did it come from [Music] there's no makeup on me at all really no that's a lie yeah yes i'm back i'm wearing the gold i'm standing at the north pole the very top of the earth okay you saw a clip from the great british bake off there but what distracting natural phenomenon shocked viewers during the final in the great british program in the in the final of the great british bake off it's a natural phenomenon if you saw it i think you would remember it's not going to be the workings of yeast is it they'd be expecting that they were fully expecting the workings of the east it was an extraordinary thing okay here's a special treat for you mouselands hardest working detective has taken a break from living up with the easy crew to ask us a question it's over to raster mouse greetings jimmy rasta mouse here me and the easy crew love a good tune so we know there's a lot of people out there that's gonna be proper excited to hear that steps is reforming but can the panda tell me the names are r5 for the bedroom and the cistern in the band so can you name the five brethren and sister in instead we weren't really listening we were just surprised to see westermouth on the show i like restaurants what was western question his question was can you name all the members of steps can you of course you can finally a question david williams knows just look at your tattoo i'm so excited about them reforming really [Music] tragedy that was the actual routine don't just ask another question [Applause] dream come true i'm using the beatles it's isn't wrong a band called steps it's wrong it's why don't you like them to be called steps because it's like a painter called numbers or a band called notes you know they're not a ladder well that's what it is it's like i mean it's like like an author called mr words yeah it's just it's just it's wrong my english teacher at school was called mr sentence it's absolutely true his parents tried his parents did not try he could have been a judge could have been a judge he could have been a pedophile yeah and finally we've got a question from jim carter better known as downton abbey's loyal butler carson good evening mr carl this year the prime minister appeared on the bbc's the one show now what ill-mannered question did the host a mr matt baker have the temerity to ask the prime minister okay if you saw that you would remember it was pretty awesome you know they were going to call it steps the one chance no but they're on channel one so you know bbc once so they call it one show and they've they tried yeah they're linked i would like to have been at that ideas meeting i get that i bet that was held at 5 30 on a friday it's a clever double meaning this also implies that it's the only show and basically that's the only rationale under which anyone would watch it so you ready have you got something down jamie you've got something yeah got it all mate you've got oh you've got all competitive confidence [Music] you will get one 116 points to us okay so uh what were viewers of the great british bake off horrified by did she put some wee in the cake to make the yeast why would you think now why would your mind go there technically urine ewing would help a cake taste nice kiss here because it would react with the uh the baking powder and make it give it more loan you in if you pee on your feet it's what special forces do you pee on your feet it makes your feet stronger so if you pee in the cake it'll make the cake stronger and they can do more marathons were you peeing on your face [Music] well that's the tricky one you have to bounce off you do ricochet you have to put your feet out with the pee if they hit the thing you just pee a puddle and then sort of paddle in it oh no i would want it to be piping hot okay david and eddie you went for a tiny hurricane in the icing have you remembered the shock the hurricane is a natural phenomenon and that would be shocking on a cake okay david and miranda you're our only home shopping david williams farted and then knocked over a profiterole that's incorrect and i can tell you the answer is they were they were shocked and appalled by the appearance of a squirrel with a giant penis and testicles oh my god that was just in the opening titles they cut to a squirrel david where did you get that outfit from it's brilliant someone clearly said to him shows you nuts and oh at the bbc's of public service broadcaster it can't go around showing the genitals of animals what are the what are the animals supposed to be doing with their genitals hiding them in the handbags it's the animal's fault it's the fault of the bbc that's what a squirrel liberal stands up they're not having how do they do the big ones but david david attenborough goes out there how do they shoot their stuff without showing any genitalia they spend pants on on tigers and lions they spend months putting bras on penguins okay so raster mouse asked you to know i got that right so raster mouse asked you uh name all five members of steps hope you all got them you thought there david and eddie what did you go for we knew h and so then we speculated okay uh david and miranda this might be your specialist subject okay h lee claire lisa faye yes [Music] adorable and correct okay let's let's go back to raster mouse just see if you got that right yo greetings again we can tell you the five members of steps are claire lee lisa fay and a car's your favorite jimmy h [Applause] okay for a bonus point for a bonus point why is he called age you can't just say this for a bonus for a bonus point for a bonus point it's because he's hyperactive so he was given the nickname h and that's a bonus point question another bonus quick question what's his real name yes 23 you're right i've got one point i'm in fourth place you're catching up on them a couple more history questions and i think i could beat those two okay and finally carson the butler from downton asked you what did matt baker ask david cameron on the one show any thoughts do you like rice that's very rude to our somebody isn't it edgy for the one show uh david and eddie how did you sleep at night how did you sleep in there jonathan jamie exactly the same how do you sleep tonight well let's have a look at the club honestly thank you so much yeah it's been a pleasure wonderful wonderfully just very quickly how on earth do you sleep at night um he didn't mean it that way i don't think matt baker has bought a drink since okay for a bonus point stop with your bonus story at this point what position did matt baker get to and strictly come dancing third third place bonus bonus point okay for nine bonus points when's my birthday uh seventh favorite nine it wouldn't be christmas without some unexpected visitors ladies and gentlemen please welcome with our next question from the only way is essex it's lydia lauren and kirk nice to have you on i can't believe our luck so we're taking a night off from the sugar hut yes well done you um now i believe you've got a question for us we have you've got questions okay what's the question so this year um anyways there's six wins marbella but what simple diet rule do we stick to in order to look well rheem on the beach you've got to write it down i know it of course you know it would mean you couldn't enjoy rice jonathan write it down okay so let's have the question again because eddie looks quite confused as to who or what you are and what the question is they're from the only way it's asking have you seen the show anyways that's exactly that's six and there's only one way so which civil dialogue diet rule did we did we follow in order to look well room on the beach well rain which means are we [ __ ] fantastic well good that doesn't mean [ __ ] fantastic what are the words because you've introduced other words to the to the english language i think a lot of people say it to you as well yes i i just got i come from essex i don't know what what is virgil oh that's actually from america but it's like diamonds down there down where diamonds in your vagina yes yeah can we just have a look at one of your girls you know well jamie's an expert in the male version he's been panini so do you just shove diamonds no no you can you sort of you know it's basically making the vagina a bit more sparkly a bit more showbiz and fun for people like david who like vaginas but also like a better glam are you hoping for like a spin-off show like like jamie you're from essex you've got a big tv show you must have started on the anyway have you ever been to the sugar hut no is it good it's good i'm gonna say that obviously but yeah hey cheers we should go i'd like to go should we go have a night out come and see some pictures wow but you wouldn't you wouldn't need disco balls would you just hang these chicks from the ceiling put the light on them they'd just be these like vaginal shapes just click and all these old fellas are turning up just think they're in heaven you do not have carbs before you go to marble okay david no chips with the kfc bargain bucket because it's good you just have the chicken you just have the deep fried chicken those kinds of the same no carbs and there's a free walls vianetta with every bargain back here you can have that that's fine david and eddie what have you gone for could it be sperm munching ladies no that was not the answer well it would have been fun jonathan and jamie have 18 points thank you david and eddie have 19 points there in the lead david and miranda have three points okay we're going to take a short break while the girls give me one of the jazz obviously but maybe glitter balls [Applause] welcome back to the big fat quiz of the year and as the intercepted voicemail of july and august results in the select committee hearings of september and october let's remind ourselves what happened bruce forsyth was finally given a knighthood it must have been an amazing sight to see a woman too old to pick up a sword knight a man to old to kneel down blackberry apologized after a three-day loss of service in a statement the head of blackberry said we are working day and night to error some tech's missing the great david williams swam the thames and raised one million pounds for charity there are some disgusting things floating in the thames and for ten days david williams was one of them well you came to see me which is very nice henley for sort of no it's lovely and you kind of gave me like a massage and miranda came and visited i did yes some people didn't come i couldn't be [ __ ] but you were well what did you raise it was over a million one point two that's amazing brother wow properly impressed me hopefully i mean it's no it's no 43 marathons in 51 days but it's still okay oh it it's it's really swimming is really difficult you're only swinging about three miles an hour four miles an hour two two miles an hour it's really tough it is tough my things are easy peasy compared to his thing well okay then okay we'll have we'll have a couple of questions okay and for our first question it's over to rock god lenny kravitz hello jimmy as you know i'm a huge fan of particle physics but can your teams tell me why albert einstein may have been fairly alarmed back in september was it because you wouldn't take your sunglasses on lenny kravitz there particle physicist and guitarist it's okay this year rihanna had a run-in with a farmer in northern ireland alan graham what happened there he is rihanna had a run-in with that man got it got the answer have you written it down yeah yeah you've got it we've done it you got it and finally it's back over to jon snow in the channel 4 news room for another report on a song of the year john over to you an unlikely economist has released new guidelines to help britain cope during the recession the london-based expert indicated that she does not need our money money money and he's keen to implement a new fiscal policy that would effectively make the world dance the report commissioned by coconut man and moon heads claims that during an economic downturn everyone should look to the left then everyone should look to the right it goes on to conclude that it's not about the cha-ching cha-ching and warns that britain should be less concerned about the bubbling bubbling back to eugene [Music] [Applause] so the question was what song was he reporting on one of the songs of the year yeah i mean that song that song that goes like that what he said that one yeah yeah that one we'll have a dart of it it's the one of the biggest selling artists this year i think our third biggest selling artist this year okay okay uh david miranda uh jamie jonathan are you all ready you got everything okay uh let's put you out of your misery with some answers uh lenny kravitz asked you why einstein might have been fairly alarmed back in september any thoughts didn't they believe in the hadron cloud of the neutrinos they might have got neutrinos they've got evidence they travel faster than the speed of light which if you go with einstein's one of his theories the famous one it's not possible okay what what did you go for david katrina's faster than the speedlite neutrinos faster than the speed of light oh well i imagine miranda and david have got this right as well um oh yeah einstein found out his moustache had been bejazzled [Applause] let's go back to lenny kravitz for the answer it was because scientists believed that they had proved that the speed of light was no longer the fastest thing in the universe eden einstein she's slightly flirting with me let's play it with einstein yeah i've met his cousin does he like rice i've met lenny kravitz's cousin that's a true story okay i don't wanna name drop but i've met his cousin i met his daughter have you a couple of times really well i've met his cousin so [ __ ] off okay so why did farmer alan graham have beef with rihanna anyone she took a top off on his farm yes he is the man in the uk that didn't want to see rihanna with the top off she found the one man uh david miranda what did you put for this um rihanna and the farmer made sweet music in the field and she farted okay jonathan jamie what did you get he pulled the chute because it was getting too kinky and there was like kissing and a bit of titty action so off get off my land get off my land because she had a topic not only told you he kind of acted part of it out as well for a moment i thought i was sitting next to the farm i thought i thought i was on jimmy's farm all of a sudden yeah there she is and i believe i believe that top came off during the video shoot fantastic wasn't happy about it also what was he doing the people who owned where downton abbey is filmed weren't coming in the whole time saying look come on none of this makes sense how come it's two years later but they don't seem to have had a conversation why isn't anyone getting any older i think what they've all missed is how did he know what she was doing well he was angry because she even though she was in the middle of the field naked he could see it really clearly with a giant telescope in his masturbatorium yeah jonathan and jamie got that and david and eddie got that thank you very much david miranda not so much and finally on this round jon snow reported on another of the year's biggest songs did anyone get it yes jonathan jamie money money money by susan boyle no david miranda we weren't concentrating because jon snow he's gone nuts because he's meant to be reading the news and he's he just keeps giving right song lyrics and stuff he's weird jimmy well you're our best hope and i'm the hope is all i want your money uh something like i want your money by jessie j is that we'll give you that jessie j uh it was price tag chrysler all right let's have another little enterprise tank check out [Music] tell you that time for another little bonus round this time it's all about virals let's see how many of these you remember okay um beyonce was all over the news all year but why did a clip of an encounter with an overexcited fan go viral so the clip of beyonce with an over excited fan it went viral everyone saw it in the audience yeah okay david miranda what have you got he knows this it's because um beyonce sat on the fan and squashed her to death no uh jonathan jamie this is a great clip we actually we know the answer yeah we do she goes out near the audience and she's singing along and then they're all going crazy and this girl says it goes nuts because i love it beyonce and then beyonce let's have the microphone and she joins and she just makes she goes david eddie we have the same answer uh let's have a look and see [Music] [Music] [Applause] i like it when you both do it together both two together thanks viral question fenton the dog became a youtube sensation this year but what was he filmed doing [Music] okay so i asked you why fent and the dog became a youtube sensation this year david and miranda was the first dog to get a bejazzle but the problem was that they spread out from that area all over the fur because they didn't really know where the the pubic region ended [Applause] it took it took seven years to bejazzle the dog and and people are watching a seven year long clip of a dog being bejazzled i think people have got too much time on their hands uh david eddie what have you got why did fenton become an internet sensation chasing deer chasing deer you say okay what do you think jamie and john i think that you know uh was an inadequate answer chasing deer was the obvious bit but across a road nearly causing a massive pileup while the man shouts fenton oh christ oh christ you say nearly causing a massive pilot yes that is speculation it is averting a massive pileup over that power would otherwise have caused if it hadn't been slowed by the deer let's have a look at this clip and make up our own minds right oh jesus christ [Music] [Applause] very complete answer you definitely get a point you get a point too david let's have a quick check on the scores david and eddie have 24 points they're in the lead uh jonathan and jamie have 22 points david and miranda are in third place with three points join us after the break for the nail-biting finale of the big fat quiz of the year 2011 when one of our panelists will be singing for their lives what i'm pretty sure that's right welcome back to the final part of the big fat quiz and as the washed up celebrity of november is forced to eat the kangaroo anus of december let's find out how the year ended jim will fix it host jimmy savile died i guess he finally got around to reading my letter conrad murray was found guilty of the manslaughter of michael jackson he claims he did everything by the book unfortunately the book in question was how to sedate an elephant three of the world's top cricketers went to prison for spot fixing to explain spot fixing is what happens when something i don't understand is done by someone i've never heard of in the middle of something i don't give a [ __ ] about it right we're on to our final set of questions so november december in december two unusual visitors arrived at edinburgh airport having enjoyed an in-flight meal of apples carrots and cake who were they yeah okay you all got something david yeah write something down for our next question we go over to my chief scientist professor brian cox hi jimmy hi big fat quiz professor brian cox here now i know you think science is all fast cars women and parties which it predominantly is for me at least but there is a serious side this year six men completed a 520 day stay in a box but what were they practicing for yeah why were those men in a box okay beautiful okay you got it yeah beautiful next question after a night of post-exam celebrations london policeman gary withers got into trouble for sleeping in an inappropriate location where did he wake up which is not he's smart he's got it yeah oh we've got another say what you see puzzle this spells out a new story what new story is it there's a lot of competition here david and miranda coming up from the rear no change now we're all about the picture ones though ready ready okay i've got the final question of the big fat quiz of the year 2011 here you wanna hear it yeah yeah final question okay appropriately we end this year's quiz with an and finally question how was award-winning wildlife photographer david slater upstaged by a monkey back in july an award-winning photographer and he was upstaged by a monkey in july classic and finally news story end of the news depressing depression depressing one lovely little story at the end and finally the queen is dead okay you all got your answers everyone got answers this is pretty close between jonathan and jamie david and eddie this could go on i wouldn't be if they hadn't been allowed to cheat well that's not we saw losers before the event okay we just worked very hard i asked you who enjoyed a meal of apples carrots and cake on the flight to edinburgh what did you put jedward but then pandas you weren't pandas yeah okay uh david miranda h and claire from steps because those players got quite big and they put her on a fourth dive they were doing a show in edinburgh so they said you're too fat love you just have an apple and a carrot okay david eddie you've got pandas you've got pandas yeah okay i can tell you that you are right there actually pretty good you both get you both get a point for that i don't think we can give you a point for two members of steps because it isn't the case but two pandas arrived in edinburgh you know it may later turn out that the pandas aren't just obese members of steps yeah take their head off and go hi we're ready to do this in which case we will retrospectively give your appointment thank you very much thank you like you should have done with richard case just let it go miranda let it go let it go brian cox asked you why some people sat in a box in the name of science what did you all put mars mission mars mission you think they were practicing for the mars mission what do you think jamie and jonathan exactly saying mars trip living in the box see if you know they can living in a box on mars maybe even but then we went with them okay so mars trip uh david and miranda i imagine you got it right as well we put i can't concentrate because it's too that's dishy that and he who he's got professor brian professor ryan cox do you think he's too attractive to be able effectively to impart knowledge in a way okay well should we go back to brian cox for the answer yeah have a look i won't be able to concentrate sure hello again how did you get on well the answer is that they were practicing for a manned mission to mars i do that by sitting in a jacuzzi they missed the trip with those smiles guys though didn't they because surely you would play a trick on them when they came out of that box and dressed as apes and what i think they're gonna do is they should have come out of the box and being in another box that they didn't know was there when they come back not just a bigger one yeah just a bigger one and then you kind of slide into a bigger one bigger walk around there it was in russia so that would kind of make sense well they love that russian doll thing okay so who got that right uh jonathan and jamie and david and eddie okay so it's all pretty tight on scores uh david miranda i'm pretty sure you're close okay so i asked you where pc gary withers woke up after his post exam celebrations what did you put no i don't know i've not heard this news story at all because the others we've got right i mean this is the one you're going to defeat 99 was right but this one okay david and eddie what do you think where did he wake up well we thought it could be in uh a lake a police station a helicopter lane potato okay it's an inappropriate place okay jonathan what do you think this is not a euphemism but we thought he might have woken up in the royal box oh in the royal box i can tell you you've all got this wrong he actually woke up in an occupied london tent outside saint paul's oh and was recognized by some of his colleagues i think okay so i i we had a say what you see question david miranda that's all about these your specialist subject okay let's have a look [Applause] coffee you are so close you're going to kick yourself what did you put david nerdy we put uh cameron v toes tree uh tea [Music] i mean it's weird because it's in a tea cup but it does look like coffee you know jonathan jamie did you get this cameron vetoes treaty okay that is the right answer so you get points you get points i'm tempted to give you a point but i know richard i think they were pleased no no you didn't take it seriously you don't get a point please jimmy give you a [ __ ] please that comes free with the game you know because now we got finale for the show and finally how did a monkey upstage wildlife photographer david slater what did you get uh the monkey stole the camera camera took a load of photography of himself um and uh they look pretty good jillian okay david and miranda we just wrote monkey we were aware that the monkey must have done something extraordinary yeah i said that in the question so i mean it's half a point isn't it because we just missed out the thing about the taking the picture but everything else was right it did involve a monkey you didn't put anything that was wrong no i heard about this but i just wondered whether the monkey stole the camera and took photographs of himself or whether he was going you know like this and then could you and then have a look at how good this photo is so right time to tot up your final scores that's the end of the quiz the big fact was the year 2011. how did you do at home you compare yourself to the three teams uh david and miranda you are in third place not bad it was very close it was very close you got four yeah [Applause] okay this is this is where it gets interesting in second place with 26 points it's jonathan ross and jamie oliver which means the winners are with 28 points david and emily here's your trophy boys you get a trophy you've won a prize a big thank you to our amazing panel our special guest and all of you for watching i'm jimmy carr this has been big fat quiz of 2011. good night you are victorious congratulations we should bring stuff out of there you should you should be opening yeah [Music]

Channel: Rikki Sixx

Views: 380,319

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Id: FYOMgztybDk

Length: 96min 40sec (5800 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 11 2021