Would I Lie To You? with Danny Dyer & Moira Stuart | S09 E01 - Full Episode | All Brit

[Music] thank you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] good evening and welcome to would I lie to you the show with naked truths and well-dressed lies on David Mitchell's team tonight I typically do a joke here about his Cockney Roots but I don't think that's appropriate and besides I don't want to mug him off it's Danny Dyer and a comedian who did Hispanic studies at University partly so he could learn about the rich culture but mainly because they were allowed a siesta in the afternoon it's John Richardson tonight she's the first voice I hear when I wake up in the morning insert your own joke it's Moira Stewart and a comedian who provided the voiceover for itv2's magaloof Weekender a sweaty loud mecca for unpleasant horny teenagers itv2 is available on most Freeview boxes it's Joe license and Shall We Begin with round one home shoes where our panelists each read out a statement from the card in front of them now to make things harder they've never seen the card before they've no idea what they'll be faced with and it's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction and John his first up on a camping trip I won an award for having the tidiest tent even though I'd wet my sleeping bag these teeth was this as a child or was this recently no I was a child how old were you I guess I was about six or seven and was it the scouts no what was it it was uh the Woodcraft Folk s what kind of organization is that it's like Scouts is it literally about going away to craftable to make things that would is it more about just generally lighting fires and it's wood crafting a more General sense exactly is Woodcraft in a general sense it's it's well you know jobs it's wood um do you want to change the name of the organizer that's what they say in every meeting of the Woodcraft so so the Woodcraft folk they head off into the wood together they find a clearing they set up camp and what sort of things do they do we might spot Birds we might rob trees do you ever spot trees and rub Birds only if you don't want to get your tree rubbing and bird spotting badges so there are badges yes yes there were batches what badges do you have well first batch would be sewing badge obviously otherwise all subsequent badges would fall off then bird spotting bird spotting badge tree rubbing was just to chill out it can't all be about getting badges all right how many people were on the in the competition of tidier's tent uh 15. does he just suddenly go back to childhood that's more like it so 15 kids all trying to have the tidiest tent well not that not an exclusively but we stayed in tents and to instill an atmosphere of tidiness every morning there would be tent checks and whoever's tent was the tightest right how many boys per tent not just boys these are mixed tents I shared a tent with my sister who was also in the Woodcraft folk how did the other Woodcraft folk react to it they never found out did your sister find out yeah she was aware yes she was one of the first to be aware if they gave you the prize to sort of patronize you so because I'm sorry for you a prize is a price so other than the swampy conditions it was it was very nice and very tidy yes the tent was very tidy because everything was outside drying off what do you think Lee is he telling the truth I don't know what do we think more I think it's true you do why do you think it's true he looks like a bedwetter well I know about that when you say it sounds like news so I think it's probably true yeah very much true as well we'll say true that's going to say true okay John truth or lie why would I admit on telly to such a true yes it's true John did win an award for the tidiest tent even though he'd wet his sleeping bag Joe you're next okay if I'm ever walking alone at night I call out the name of an imaginary dog to deter any muggers David's Tea what's the name of the dog Brian as if it's going to be a vicious dog it will be Brian wouldn't it definitely um do you think it would be attacker would from the tone that you say Brian know that you mean a dog and not a Brian to me it sounds like you'd be calling a you know a middle-aged civil servant well um it's because I read an article um with written by Darren Brown in which he said if you're in a situation where things look like they're getting a bit choppy if you do something unusual the other person is so sort of freaked out by that that they generally stop doing what they're doing if they're everything about how do you shout imagine I'm a terrifying would-be assassin you know in your whole panel maybe you're not the first choice John imagine if genres um so all right imagine Danny is a terrifying would be assassin yes and do you know go for it Brian [Applause] um is it just someone comes up to you at night most ask for the time you go Brian you just flip out or is it a general Muggin I like you dummy everyone's got their own Showbiz personas and you were Danny completely gone for different ones haven't you yeah yeah I think we're very similar in Memphis we're lovers to say Joe you're playing with fire there the thing is I believe that Darren Brown article but the whole point of that is that you say something random that sort of puts people off their stride where if you're going for something specific calling upon a dog called Brian to come to your aid but that's immediately disprovable the absence of Brian is immediately evident that we're calling up on Brian they're going to go Brian oh there's no Brian fine my big sticking point is still if you were trying to create the illusion that you had a dog why you would give it a person's name yeah would you shut dog that would be good what would you call him John ramble my defense is slightly different I would wet my pants stop so what are you thinking David John I don't believe it Danny so I think I think it's true you think it's true no I don't now I have to make a decision my gut is that it's not true let's go loaded let's have a lie let's say lie I'm gonna say liar okay Joe truth or lie it was a lie yes it was a lie all along Joe doesn't call out the name of an imaginary dog to deter muggers Danny you're next it's a possession all right okay there's a box under the desk now if you could first of all read the card out that's in the box and then take out the possession and pop it on the desk last year on a visit to the zoo last year on a visit to the zoo I put on a mile so that no one recognized me this is that mask but no need to be quite so aggressive this is you put it on your face can I just hear you say two ice creams please uh can I get a couple of ice creams you don't mind me asking but I [Applause] I'm so okay now can I uh can I take it off yeah close again so where did you get that mask from oh you were buy for time zone did not what do you think I bought it look at it Plan before you went to the zoo not to be recognized that was always bad no you never know really you go out with your kids and that you know and then when you got to the zoo you decided to well it was on me and uh what was on you people people were on you not on me what about me giving you this you want me mad yeah right nice people it's all love and all that but I needed to uh do something about it because you know me little was skinny I'm I was trying to look at the giraffes he drugged up giraffe the draft didn't look well to be honest with you so you've been around the zoo a bit you're getting a bit of grief you've had enough you go to the gift shop any reason why you chose a child's one because it looks very small on your head it was just the first one I picked up I needed to get one on lively I actually bought it you know with it on yeah you didn't even want the person selling you it to recognize it scream and say there's we've got an escapee where is this Zoo it's around the corner for me it's in Essex it's uh it's only a little little number um you know there's a couple of rabbits in there I mean you know I was disappointed I'm gonna lie I felt bad for her you know after I go out on a day out and uh and I've took her to a modizo I mean it wasn't a solicit by me and you're gonna go out and have a lovely day to see a couple of rabbits in a moody giraffe so in general you know it was a bit of a Let There do you mind just one more time places yeah I'd love to put it on I'd love to it's very small I reckon that I could recognize you from the voice and what's showing on the face yeah was this uh before you were on EastEnders or afterwards uh this was before so you weren't being mobbed loads well I'm still getting it a bit you know a lot of my uh a lot more fans can I take this off again now I wish you would yes so [Applause] [Laughter] so you know so what do we think Laura I think he is so cool that he can do other things rather than wear a zebra Master people yes like what saying hey no I think it's not what you do when people ask for photos excuse me are you my rest sure says it's a lie yeah yeah I think it's probably a lie okay I'll go with my team and say lie then you're gonna say lie okay Danny truth or lie it's the truth yes it's true Danny did wear a mask so he wouldn't be recognized at the zoo our next round is called this is my where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panelists this week each of Lee's team will claim it's them that has the genuine connection to the guest and it's up to David's team to spot who's telling the truth so please welcome this week's special guest Charlotte [Music] [Applause] [Music] so uh Joe what is Charlotte to you this is Charlotte in the evenings I like to relax by watching videos of her wrapping gifts on YouTube right Moira how do you know Charlotte this is Charlotte she does such a good impression of me that I won't let her pretend to be me on Radio 2 and no one noticed and Lee what is your relationship with Charlotte this is Charlotte and uh she's my Judo instructor and she and she told me off recently when she caught me having a pint in my Judo kit just before a tournament so ornament that's the very worst time to be drinking isn't it David where do you want to start um well Joe that sounds like one of the creepiest things I've ever heard you you watch her on YouTube wrapping presents yes why um because she's very good at it that is not an explanation that's why you might ask her to wrap presents for you not observe her doing it well no what she does she does it um she takes great care over the way she's doing it and it so she's slow she's slow so not very good at it so Joe how long does it take Charlotte to wrap a present would you say um in the videos I think it's about half an hour present what are these pressures how did you initially think well I need to relax is to watch someone wrapping presents on my computer well I've since I've been a child I've had this weird sensation when I watch people with Bits of Paper particularly where I get this lovely like tingling in the back of my head and I was I remember it when my grandmother was doing some paperwork and she licked her finger and turned a page and it made me feel really really lovely the saddest thing is the idea that when you used to go around to your grandparents house as a child she used to do her paperwork while you were there my man used to take me out they'd maybe cook lunch Joe's coming around brilliant I've got some receipts I need to go through so do you think that what you're saying John is that because of the years of neglect that Joe suffered as a child he's come to substitute paperwork for love so it's a relaxing thing it's like having a massage rather than like a sexual thing it's not a opening I understand I understand a video of someone getting a present and watching The Joy watching someone wrap a present do you get to see who opens it well it just gets wrapped and that's the end if you could play it backwards couldn't you all right David who else would you like to question she's the best she doesn't the best impression of you ever absolutely and how did you find this out I walked in on the production team on the floor two floors down from my studio and she happened to be in midrap she was rapping then it just remind you of who's saying what she was in mid imitation right okay so she works at the beam yes she's a researcher right so she she was mimicking you yes behind your back so really in a while having a giggle and you're rewarded her by whacking a so she actually read a bit of your bulletin yes on his show his idea oh it was his idea he's a little imp isn't he so what would the introduction be I mean I'm trying to think now and I'll listen to every day of course I do the introduction is this is BBC news on the date I'm Moira Stewart good morning I'm genuine having a panic attack that my kids are late for school yes of all I think moira's voice would be difficult to impersonate don't don't encourage Rob OT have a go give it a try if it doesn't work you may never do Ronnie Corbett yeah That's too great of this so what about Lee Lee yes tell us about how you got into Judo in the first place well how does anyone get into Judo I was watching Kung Fu Panda and ruled out Kung Fu my kids loved it and and so they decided to take up martial arts I know decided to take up Judah so I took my children to the Judah and it was a bonding thing I said all right they said come on Daddy you do it so I joined the The Adult class whilst they did the kids club how many weeks have you been going to Judah I'd say about I've been through about 30 lessons so it's like a weekly class correct Judo but how does the tournament well after after on the same day as the class or yeah so we do it every week we have a class yeah and then he said to the all the all the the men and the women in the class he said who's he Charlotte no I haven't got to Charlotte yet I haven't got to Charlotte so I thought she was your Junior yes she is she is she is yes but he said let me finish said I said tournament tournaments I said I'll do a tournament when you have a sex change mate so she said she said next week we're going to have a uh we're gonna have a little bit of a tournament between you look I thought it was just all a bit of fun so I turned up the following week ready for my tournament and I got there a bit early dropped the kids off but the adult class starts a bit later saw the pub went over and I was chatting with the other bloke who's one of the dads all right so you're both in your Judo gear yes what's the name for that I call it the white dressing gown and she's done bowling in so she's compiling and I said bowling's next door why is she in the pub because she's looking for us and we've gone on a bit late oh you've got yeah well actually that what actually happened was she she we were a bit late yeah actually she's walking past the pub we were actually at the bar sort of looking out the window and apart in the chat and we literally saw someone just sort of walk pasting her you know the star pupils obviously you know he was gonna that's not how it works in martial arts Stanley not just the star pupils get respect ah everyone is equal [Applause] and what's your favorite move in Judah because Judah is full of a wide variety of stances and was what's the one that really gets Lee thinking you had to narrow it down to your favorite six or seven I think it's probably Teppanyaki sorry that's a that's a starter dish isn't it that's the funny thing all Judo moods are named after dishes I did the sushi and the weird one you're not gonna believe the pot noodle if you wanted to demonstrate any moves the floor is yours if you if you feel that would help prove your point so well what you do is I mean what would you like to see well first of all your opening stance okay foreign [Laughter] [Applause] not in a million years ago when you said get out there you're regretting that aren't you Rob how well have you taught him right so what you do the first the first movie Bow Down foreign [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] and then you get like that yeah and then you sort of lean on and then all over [Applause] sorry bro that's amazing my ear are you okay Rob a nominated actor so we need an answer David's team is Charlotte Joe's soothing stranger moira's mimicking mate or Lee's martial arts master well let's just get me out of wires hey come over here and say that right yeah well I did it doesn't seem very pleased but that was a good move well he goes over easy though he's an odd Mark but uh I don't know what you think John I think it's my area yeah I think we think it's Moira I think on the basis that Lee has shown himself able to push Rob over and that's not nothing at the same time it's not much I just said rapping thing that's just so confusing as a thing but I think I'm I'm going to pretend I've never heard it okay Charlotte would you please reveal your true identity my name is Charlotte and Joe watches my videos to relax on an evening thank you very much Charlotte which brings us to our final round pickfire lives and we start with it's Moira on a cold Winter's evening I like to treat myself to a jacket potato with a melted KitKat on top and now the weather I mean it sounds delicious the way Moira puts it you know I mean any batter involved in this or just a strike KitKat no this is but very very very hard skin sorry well it adds a sort of an interesting kick chunky or forefinger [Applause] I only know the double kitkats you've not heard of the classic four finger KitKat look times are hard when did this start tomorrow how did you discover this oh about three years ago really then what sparked It Off I thought I like jacket potatoes who doesn't I've done the tuna who hasn't let me try the KitKat why not [Laughter] cheese it was just a couple of years ago did someone introduced you to it go listen you want to whack a KitKat I don't think anyone Moira knows has ever use afraid I'm all right Moira can I can I ask more about the cooking process it's very very lengthy [Music] oh it's worth hours and hours of work you blast it in the microwave then you put it in the oven for oh about 20 minutes then you halve it then you slap the KitKat on top do another 10 minutes so what do you think David is she telling me I think it sounds like a disgusting meal I'm not the only one that thinks that actually sounds really nice I like that I like cars and I like chips but I don't drive over my chips not everything that you like should be mashed together in the same because Richmond made out of 10 cats let's go now [Applause] so what you're gonna say David uh Danny do you I think this is a very sophisticated woman and I think uh you know very cultured nowhere in the world yeah with this lady whack a KitKat that's the line we go out on all in all we don't believe it so Moira truth or lie I'm not having it it's a lie and that noise signals time is up it's the end of the show and I can reveal it David's team have won by three points for two but of course it's not just a team game uh my individual liar of the week this week is Danny Dyer yes Danny Dyer mainly because I'm frightened to what he might do to me if I give it to someone else good night

Channel: Banijay Comedy

Views: 82,357

Keywords: british comedy, british comedy series, Comedy, British comedy, best British comedy, British humour, would i lie to you, wilty, lee mack, david mitchell, rob brydon, lee mack would i lie to you, david mitchell would i lie to you, rob brydon would i lie to you, would i lie to you full episodes, wilty full episodes, greg davies would i lie to you, greg davies wilty, would i lie to you series 9, would i lie to you series 9 episode 1, wilty series 9 episode 1, wilty series 9

Id: osu0Fjg5Zwo

Length: 29min 1sec (1741 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 30 2023