-The Trump presidency officially ended today as Joe Biden was inaugurated as the 46th president
of the United States and wow! Alright. So that's what it feels like when you're not
grinding your teeth. I'd forgotten. And I think -- yeah, I can see colors again. For more on this,
it's time for "A Closer Look." [Tender tune plays] You know, over the last
four years, whenever I imagined myself
finally saying those words, I pictured us surrounded
by a jubilant audience, reveling in the
collective catharsis of watching this wretched,
awful man slink away
from the seat of power like a drunk who got kicked
out of a bar at 3:00 am for trying to steal
the free pretzels. [ Slurring ]
No, these are my home pretzels. I brought these pretzels
from my home. Instead, I'm alone
in an empty studio, no pomp, no fanfare, no senior citizens bussed in
from Paramus, who were told
they had tickets to Dr. Oz. The only celebration
we could manage was Wally holding a single balloon
covered in Purell. Keep that party going, Wally. And the reason for that is,
even amid this moment of collective relief,
the nation is still in the midst of several
unprecedented calamities, none of which will magically
disappear anytime soon. It's a little like getting rid
of the last guy at a party. We spent four years yawning
and stretching and hinting that he should get out and, when he finally leaves,
it is a relief, until you remember you still
have to clean up all his puke and he like puked everywhere. Luckily, we had this guy
working at the inauguration. ♪♪ Sir, who are you
and why do you rule so much? I knew they were taking
extra precautions after the raid on the Capitol, but, apparently, none are more
prepared than scarf man. Beautiful old scarf
draped loosely around the neck, one mask peeking out
of a second mask, a pack of wet wipes that,
like many of you, I confused
for a pack of Oreo minis -- "Is that guy about to eat Oreos
close to the mic in some kind
of inauguration ASMR?" Later in the day,
we got to see the Bidens enter the White House residence,
but, before they did, the White House itself went through a deep cleaning as soon as Trump left. -There's a deep clean of the residence
because of COVID, which includes, you know,
vacuuming drapes, wiping baseboards,
cleaning chandeliers. -Scrubbing out Diet Coke rings, pulling loose hair
out of the drains, trying to get ketchup
off the Constitution. I know they're saying the deep
clean is because of COVID, but, I mean,
even without the pandemic, if I were moving in
after Trump anywhere, I'd want the place fumigated. The guy was glued to his TV,
barely left his bedroom, and only ate fast food. That place probably looks like a locker on "Storage Wars" or a studio apartment
in a rent-controlled building, after the tenant who's lived
there for 80 years dies -- just piles of old newspapers,
loose change, and a collection
of weird ceramic pigs. [ As Trump ]
What do you think, Betsy,
should I concede? Betsy has concerns about the
vote count in Georgia! It's not in Trump's nature
to leave on a graceful, dignified note. Instead, he left in shame and disgrace,
the way he should have, scampering out early
in the morning, like a college sophomore
doing the walk of shame, though he did give us
one final Trump trademark, chopper-adjacent, Q & shout. [Rotors whirring]
-This has been a great honor. The honor of a lifetime. -Now, that will never
have to endure another one of these again,
can I just ask, how long does it take
to start a helicopter? Like wouldn't it have been
better to wait until he got in before firing the thing up? I don't know.
Past is past. Trump, of course, couldn't even
muster the bare minimum level of grace and self-assurance to attend his successor's
inauguration, but he did, apparently,
want his helicopter to do one last farewell trip
around the Capitol. -They just flew over here,
over the Capitol, where these preparations
are underway for Joe Biden's inauguration
at any moment now, in the next few hours,
of course, the inauguration that the
president will not be attending, but, apparently, wanted to see. -He looked
upon our nation's capital the way past presidents looked
over hurricane damage. [ As Trump ]
Well, love me or hate me, you have to agree -- I [bleep] the place up. [ Laughter ] Mel, are you looking?! [ Laughter ] Mel! Mel! She's -- He was too scared to go
to the inauguration, but he wanted
to see it from afar. He treats the hallowed customs
of our democracy like a five-year-old watching a scary movie
through his fingers, so he took a whirl around D.C.
on the taxpayer's dime. One last no-joy ride. And, now, the Biden
administration will have to reckon with a series
of simultaneous crises unprecedented in our lifetimes. Just because Trump is gone doesn't mean all the destruction
he wrought is gone as well. In fact, it's very likely
to get worse in the near term and the conditions that created
him will remain as well, unless they're scrubbed
from our institutions and our system
and our public life. But I do think
a small step forward was hearing
the incoming president, on the eve of his inauguration, acknowledge the very real
human toll of the pandemic. -To heal, we must remember. It's hard sometimes to remember, but that's how we heal. -I have to say
I was very moved by that because there's been
this weird collective erasure of the toll of the pandemic because of the willful
criminal neglect of the Trump White House and its allies
in the right-wing media, an insistence that it will all
go away, that everything's fine, and that what you're seeing
and hearing with your own eyes and ears
isn't actually happening. And a small first step
towards fixing that is acknowledging it. Anyway, very powerful,
and a welcome change. Now, let's hear what the
outgoing president had to say. -Have a good life. We will see you soon. -"Have a good life"? That's not
a presidential farewell. That's what your high school
crush writes in your yearbook, as a final twist of the knife. Although,
even weirder than that was what Trump said right before,
hinting that he might possibly try to make some sort
of political comeback, if he's not disqualified after the Senate
impeachment trial. -So just a goodbye. We love you. We will be back in some form. -"In some form"?
What does that mean? [ As Trump ]
Whenever you see a black
plastic bag stuck in a tree or a vulture on the shoulder
of the highway, pulling the guts
out of a dead raccoon, that'll be me. Not the dog turd
you wipe off your shoe, but the one that stays
stuck in the treads, you need to dig out
with a stick, never quite getting it all, because part of me
will always be with you, in some form. So, Trump held a pathetic,
forgettable going-away party about the size of the lunch rush
at Hale and Hearty. In fact, Trump's farewell
was snubbed by virtually everyone,
from his own vice president to Republicans in Congress. Trump was so desperate
for attendees at this thing that those who were invited
could... I worked at "SNL" for 12 years and, when I go back
to see a show, I can't even bring my wife. They even sent invitations
to people who turned on Trump and left in disgrace,
like Omarosa; John Bolton; and even Anthony Scaramucci,
who said... Yeesh!
That is embarrassing. That's like when you get
an invite to someone's wedding, even though you
only met them once, five years ago,
at a friend's barbecue. Honey, do you remember, Doug,
the guy from the barbecue, wouldn't stop trying
to sell us insurance? No?
Okay, well, uh, do you want to go
to his wedding? He's offering 17 plus-ones. Then, of course,
there was the fact that, in his final address
as president, he signed off the way
you'd expect, by rambling
stream-of-consciousness style, like he was describing a dream
to a therapist. -People have no idea how hard
this family worked. We were not a regular
administration. Our vets are happy.
Our people are happy. Our military is thrilled. If you look at what happened
until February a year ago, our numbers were at a level that nobody had
ever seen before. And, now, the stock market
is actually substantially higher than it was at its higher point
prior to the pandemic. So it's really, you could say
we built it twice. Be careful. Very complex. Be careful. Remember us when you see
these things happening. Remember us. I'm looking at elements
of our economy that are set to be
a rocket ship up. It's a rocket ship up. We got the vaccine developed
in nine months, instead of nine years,
or five years or ten years. -Even in his last address
to the nation as president, he sounds like a husband making
small talk with the doorman while he waits for his wife
to come down to the lobby. [ As Trump ]
So, yeah, my cousin got
his master's in four years. Could've been nine,
five, 10 years. She should be down soon. Man, this Met season's
off to a crazy start. Then, Trump finished his speech,
or whatever it was, and, in a bizarre spectacle, he waved goodbye
to the anemic crowd to the same song
he ended his rallies with. -♪ YMCA ♪ ♪ It's fun to stay at the ♪ ♪ YMCA ♪ -Like Grandpa leaving 10 minutes
into the wedding reception. And then, finally, it all ended and we got to watch
Air Force One take off with Trump onboard as president
one last time, presumably setting a course
straight for the Sun, where he would burst
into a thousand rays of light, never to be seen again.
Either that, or he was making a run for it. [ As Trump ]
How long can you
keep this baby in the air? I need it to last until after
they subpoena my tax returns. Look out the window, Mel! Oh, she's not. She's out today. [ Laughter ] And then, there was the
inauguration at the Capitol, the same site that,
just two weeks ago, was the scene
of a violent insurrection incited by the president. We were treated, on one hand,
to scenes of hope and solemn ritual,
like the inspiring moment when Capitol Police Officer
Eugene Goodman, who bravely led
a group of rioters away from the Senate floor,
arrived at the ceremony. And then, on the other hand, there was a moment
of shamelessness, from Ted Cruz,
one of the seditionists who tried to subvert
the election, taking selfies at the same dais. -Can I tell you
how astounding it is here, to, you know, overlook
the west front of the Capitol, the exact spot where,
just two weeks ago, rioters, violent supporters
of President Trump, were scaling the scaffolding that has now been replaced
with bunting? It is remarkable, also,
to see so many of those who had backed the president
in this effort, like Senator Ted Cruz, who, just a moment ago,
was snapping selfies. ♪♪ -Who on God's green Earth
wants a selfie with Ted Cruz? I mean, of course,
the main problem with Ted Cruz taking selfies
is that the self is Ted Cruz. Good luck finding a filter
that makes you look less like a rockabilly muskrat
with a wet diaper. But, as gross as that was, there were also the genuine
signs of promise and hope, like, for example,
the sight of Bernie Sanders showing up in a giant coat
and mittens, with a bunch of papers
in his arms, like a public defender
whose car stalled in the snow. [ As Sanders ]
I'm here now. I'm here. You can stop talking
to my client. Thank you very much. Could someone mail this for me? Bulk is fine. Although the best Bernie
appearance was, of course, this picture of him sitting
in his chair by himself, like he was at Foot Locker, waiting for the salesperson to bring him the next size up. Biden's first act as president
should be to replace every Confederate monument
in the country with this statue of Bernie Sanders.
The plaque can say... In fact, one of the best things
about the new era we entered today
is that Bernie will now be the chairman of the powerful
Senate Budget Committee, where he'll be able to fight
for, among other things, expanded direct payments,
unemployment insurance, a $15 minimum wage,
and canceling student debt. He'll be able to hold hearings
on Medicare for All and the Green New Deal. Hell, he could change
the price of coffee in the Senate break room,
if he wanted to. [ As Sanders ]
Six bucks for a cup of coffee? That's insane.
From now on, you bring your own beans
from home. You grind them up
in a pencil sharpener. Meeting adjourned. And then came the fanfare and the ritual
of the inauguration itself, including performances
from megastars J.Lo and Lady Gaga, which was a nice change of pace
from the Trump era, when the only musical acts
who would associate with the president were
Three Doors Down and the kids who got
stiffed by Trump. You remember that? When Trump refused to pay a bunch of children
who sang at his rallies and they had to sue him
to get their money? Sadly, there won't be any room
in the history books for that, but I assure you,
here at "Late Night," we! will! never! forget! [ Laughter ] Overall, the day was not short
on inspiration, with a benediction
from Reverend Silvester Beaman and an incredible inaugural poem
from 22-year-old Amanda Gorman, but perhaps the most
stirring words were delivered by Senator Amy Klobuchar, to describe J.Lo's rendition of "America
the Beautiful." -Well, that was great. -That was my aunt's review
of "Mamma Mia!" "Wow, that was great. I liked all the singing
and the dancing. Time to go home!" And, of course,
we also witnessed some breathtaking scenes
of history, chief among them, the scene
of Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the first Latina to serve
on the Supreme Court, swearing in Kamala Harris,
the first female, the first Black, and the first
Asian American vice president. Then, of course,
came the catharsis of seeing a person
who is not Donald Trump become president
of the United States, when Joe Biden officially
took the oath of office. -Please raise your right hand
and repeat after me. "I, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.,
do solemnly swear..." -I, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.,
do solemnly swear... -"...that I will
faithfully execute..." -"...that I
will faithfully execute..." -"...the office of President
of the United States..." -"office of President of the
United States..." -"...and will,
to the best of my ability..." -"...and will, to the best
of my ability..." -"...preserve, protect,
and defend..." -"...preserve,
protect, and defend..." -"...the Constitution
of the United States." -"the Constitution of the
United States." -So help you God? -So help me God. -Congratulations,
Mr. President. [ Cheering and applause ] -Son of a gun. Wally, give
that balloon another squirt. [ Laughing ]
There we go. The only bummer was
that Biden didn't end the oath by swearing to preserve,
protect, and defend the Constitution
of the United States "and cut the malarkey,
so help me God. Come on, man!" Biden's swearing in
will also be remembered for having the biggest Bible
anyone has ever seen. Does that also have
every Amtrak schedule ever? Does it have the lesser
known gospels? [ As Biden ]
Yeah, this one has Keith. He doesn't add much, but he
spills the tea on Matthew. [ Laughter ]
Guy was always late. [ Laughter ]
Then came Biden's speech, his first address to a divided
nation as president. And see if you
can guess the theme. -It requires the most elusive
of all things in a democracy: unity. Unity. With unity, we can do great
things, important things. History, faith, and reason
show the way, the way of unity. Without unity,
there is no peace, only bitterness and fury. And unity is the path forward. -"But why won't the Democrats
talk about unity?!" You know, Republicans incited
an insurrection and then complained
that Democrats aren't trying
to unify the nation. Meanwhile, Biden talked
more about unity than a marriage counselor who only gets paid
if the couple stays together. [ As Biden ]
Ben, you need to validate
your wife's feelings more. And, Carol,
don't repress those emotions. Communicate.
Now, let's hash this out and grab a brisket
at Houlihan's. Like any president, Biden has his strengths
and weaknesses, but clearly, one strength is his ability
to give the nation a pep talk and, in many ways,
his inaugural address was basically the halftime
speech America needed. -At this hour, my friends,
democracy has prevailed. My whole soul was in it. Today, on this January day,
my whole soul is in this. We can join forces, stop the shouting,
and lower the temperature. And today
we mark the swearing in of the first woman
in American history elected to national office, [ Cheering and applause ]
Vice President Kamala Harris. Don't tell me
things can't change! And here we stand, just days after a riotous mob
thought they could use violence to silence
the will of the people, to stop the work
of our democracy, to drive us
from this sacred ground. It did not happen. It will never happen. Not today, not tomorrow,
not ever! Not ever. [ Cheering, whistling,
and applause ] -I mean, I don't know about you, but I thought
that was pretty uplifting. Can we check in
on Bernie real quick and get his reaction
to the speech? Okay.
Alright, he's digging it. I know him.
He's digging it. Just hearing a president
talk honestly and straightforwardly
about our challenges, promising to fight
for democracy, or saying phrases like
"my whole soul is in it," was both calming and jarring
after four years of a president who, if he ever mentioned
his soul at all, did so in context of selling it. [ As Trump ]
Hello, is this the devil? How much can I get for the soul? Ten bucks?
Forget it. Everybody's listened to the
soul call with the devil. It was a perfect call. I called the devil. I didn't sell the soul. I got an offer.
I said no. It was a perfect call. [ Laughter ] Biden also showed deference to previous presidents, including one
who couldn't be there. -I know the resilience of our
Constitution and the strength, the strength of our nation, as does President Carter, who I spoke with last night,
who cannot be with us today, but whom we salute
for his lifetime in service. -Everyone loves Jimmy Carter. I'm assuming Carter wasn't there because of COVID protocols,
although, he's such a good person,
he's probably with his Habitat for Humanity
friends, building Trump a house
in Palm Springs. [ As Carter ]
It's not as nice
as the White House, but, if you fill with love,
it'll be more than enough. [ As Trump ]
Oh, love's going to be
a problem, Jimmy. [ Laughter ]
But now, the challenge for Biden
and for Democrats in Congress is to follow these words
with action. Biden began today
by announcing plans to sign a raft of executive orders
undoing some of Trump's most heinous
and destructive policies and Senate Democrats have unveiled a package
of democracy reforms, which are huge first steps. Biden and Democrats in Congress
can't shy away from doing what's necessary
to fix both what Trump broke and what was broken before him. Trump has left
the nation in ruins and he'll leave
as the most disgraced, unpopular president in history. And, as for Trump, look, I know
today can't be easy for him, so I would like to read
a few lines of a verse that I know means a great deal
to former President Trump, in hopes that it will soothe him on this difficult day. "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to be unhappy. It's fun to stay at the... -♪ YMCA ♪ -This has been
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