-The vast majority of Senate
Republicans are sticking with former President Donald Trump
at his second impeachment trial despite powerful evidence
presented by the House impeachment managers and the
fact that Trump's lawyers are very bad. For more on this, it's time for
"A Closer Look." ♪♪ So you know how Trump is
currently facing an impeachment trial for trying
to steal the election? Well now,
it turns out, he's also
under criminal investigation for trying to
steal the election. -Breaking news,
the<i> New York Times</i> is just reporting that
prosecutors in Fulton County, Georgia
have launched a criminal investigation
into former President Trump's January phone call with the
Georgia Secretary of State, remember, the one where he told
Secretary Raffensperger to "find the votes,"
and also, Jim, threatened him.
-Yeah. To find just enough votes,
notably, to overturn the results in that state's election. -Wow, first he lost Georgia
now Georgia's investigating him. It's like getting dumped then
finding out your ex blocked your number, filed a
restraining order against you, and immediately went to Paris
with your brother. Trump was already under,
last I checked, 30 different investigations,
and he has no plan to get out of any of them. I mean, even El Chapo
had that tunnel built under his jail cell toilet so he
could ride a motorbike on a built-in track
all the way to a safe house where the tunnel went upwards, so he could crawl out of
another toilet. if that were Trump,
he'd just be found half stuck in a jail cell toilet
trying to download Parler. And, by the way,
people close to Trump have been worried about this
happening. Not just because he could end up
in jail, but because his lawyers, to
quote the great Clarence Darrow, "suck major butt." -People close to the President
have been increasingly worried that he may face
criminal charges as a result of his actions. The concern here is that
Donald Trump has largely exhausted
his legal options when it comes to
representation. No reputable attorney,
at this point, was willing to stick their neck
out for President Trump in this impeachment case. Allies to the President,
one of them telling CNN that's "he's effed"
if he faces criminal charges. -It's true that Trump is effed,
because he's always had very bad lawyers. Such is the price of being an
impossible client who ignores the advice of
counsel and also
doesn't pay his bills. No one wants to defend you. Trump probably got his last duo
during a two-for-one sale at Lawyer's Warehouse. You're gonna love
the way I leak. And it's not like representing
Trump leads to bigger and better things. You know, Rudy carried his water
and not only did he get stiffed, he also got hit with a
$1.3 billion defamation lawsuit. And I tip my cap to Dominion,
because it's very funny to sue someone like Rudy for over
a billion dollars when you know
he doesn't have it. I feel like Rudy buys his pants
with the pockets pre-turned inside out,
like a 1930's vagabond. Also, do you guys have
any of those wallets that moths fly out of? But when it comes to
embarrassing Trump lawyers, it turns out Rudy
is in good company. Trump's original impeachment
defense team quit en masse, when he demanded
that they repeat his election fraud lies
during the trial. So, he had to settle
for two guys named Bruce Castor and David Schoen,
who I'm assuming he saw in a local
Palm Beach commercial while he was watching a relay
of the 1996 Masters on the Golf Channel. "Have you inhaled asbestos?
So have we! What was this commercial
about again?" And this is a fun fact,
Bruce Castor is a cousin of the GOP counsel from the last
impeachment, Steve Castor, do you remember him? The bumbling dufus. The bumbling duff-ess,
who showed up to hearings with all of his files in a
grocery store tote bag, like he was dropping off a
delivery order from whole foods? Just make sure you freeze the
sprouted whole-grain bread. As a client,
you know you're in a bad spot when your lawyers don't even
have briefcases. It's like, showing up to a
potluck with a handful of loose crab cakes. Sorry,
I couldn't find the Tupperware, also it was pretty hot in the
car, so we should eat these now! But we shouldn't judge
Bruce Castor just because his cousin Door Dashed
an impeachment trial. I'm sure he's much more
professional and detail oriented,
as evidenced by the very first words out of his mouth, as the ex-President's
defense lawyer. -My name is Bruce Castor. I am the lead prosecutor --
or lead counsel for the 45th President
of the United States. -I'm the prosecutor,
I mean witness, I mean accomplice,
I mean defendant, no, wait, what's it called?
Juror. Am I the judge? Case dismissed.
Wow, that was easy. I wish that he had called his
cousin like the guitarist at the enchantment under the sea
dance in "Back to the Future." "Hey, Steve, Steve, it's your
cousin Bruce Castor. Remember that new stupidity you
were looking for? Well, listen to this --" Don't worry though,
he explains the slip up. -I was an assistant DA
for such a long time, I keep saying "prosecutor," but I do understand the
difference Mr. Raskin. -It's not good when the first
thing you say in court is that you know the difference
between the defense and the prosecution. It's like your pilot getting
on the P.A. and saying "Welcome aboard
the crosstown bus, wait, no, this is an airplane. Don't worry I know the
difference. I was a bus driver, amigo,
so I know what I used to do is different from what I do now. Man, driving a bus was easier. Alright. Let's try to
fly like a bird now. Make sure your seat backs are
upright and tray tables locked next stop, 42nd street." And then at another point, Castor tried to reference
something he saw on the news and honestly,
I have no idea what he was trying to get at. -I saw a headline representative
so-and-so seeks to walk back comments about --
I forget what it was, something that bothered her. -Well, thanks for the specifics,
that was, was very powerful. I thought this guy was
a slip-and-fall lawyer, but maybe he just slipped
and fell on his head. "My compliments to whoever waxes
these Capitol floors, it's like an ice rink in here." This is a historic moment. It's the first time in history
a President has been impeached a second time. He incited and cheered on
a violent mob that breached the Capitol for
the first time in 200 years and injured 140 police officers in an attempt to overthrow
democracy. You'd think his lawyers would be
a little more prepared. Instead,
Castor meandered aimlessly, like he was auditioning to be on
one of those sleep apps. -United States Senators are
patriots first. Patriots first. They love their country. They love their families. There isn't a member in this
room who has not used the term "I represent the great state
of --" fill in the blank. Why? Because they're all great?
Yeah. But you think your's is greater
than others because these are your people. -I left a voicemail on ecstasy
in 1997 that made more sense than this,
what are you talking about? The House managers just laid out
a devastating case against the President
with harrowing video footage and you sound like you're
vamping at the end of a social studies class. So in conclusion,
Rutherford B. Hayes was a President, of the
United States specifically. And many people don't know this,
but B was actually not his middle initial,
it's more like a verb. Like, Rutherford "Be" Hayes. Hayes of course being slang at
the time meaning President. And it looks like class
be over. [ Laughter ] In fact, the House managers'
opening argument was so good that Castor was so unprepared
that at one point he turned it over to his partner
and admitted they had to change course because they didn't
expect the Democrat's case to be so strong. -I think that I want to give my
colleague, Mr. Schoen, an opportunity to explain to all
of us the, the legal analysis on jurisdiction. I'll be quite frank with you, we changed
what we were going to do on account that we thought
that the House managers' presentation was well done. -Uh, in my defense, I've only
ever seen bad lawyers before. I only hang out with my cuz. Take me out, Schoen, I'm dizzy.
I need electrolytes. Tell them about People V.
whatever -- Perry Mason crap you're always going on about. Seriously,
what was he expecting? Did he think this case
was about something else? "When I saw that video I was
like, whoa, that's what this case is about?
That is real bad." And then Castor turned it over
to his colleague David Schoen who, instead of bumming his way
through nonsense like Castor, decided to go the heinous
ass[Bleep] route. -This trial will tear this
country apart, perhaps like we've only seen
once before in our history. -I'm sorry are you threatening a
second civil war? You know that's basically what
Trump got impeached for, right? This is like
if O.J.'s lawyers had said, "You better acquit him or I will
stab every one of you." I mean, seriously,
that is despicable. Impeachment is in the
Constitution! These guys all act like it's
some left wing conspiracy. I mean, Ben Franklin signed onto
it and I'm pretty sure he wasn't some radical Antifa socialist. Dude tied a key to a kite to
find electricity, which we were all taught
as like a fun story, but really it sounds like
something you make up to get out of the house during a
fight with your wife. "We just had dinner with your
parents last week, Deborah." "Well, they want to stay over
this time, too." "You know what? I'm going
outside." "Why?" "I need to tie a key to a kite
to catch lightning, okay? Get off my ass!" That was a brief excerpt
from my rejected Broadway musical "Franklin,"
which was supposed to be the new "Hamilton,"
but you know, COVID. Also, they said
the rapping was bad. [ Rapping ] ♪ My name is Ben and
I'm here to say ♪ ♪ You need a penny saved ♪ Schoen went on to claim
that the only reason the trial was even happening was because
Democrats were desperate to impeach Trump. -In this unprecedented snap
impeachment process, the House of Representative
denied every attribute of fundamental Constitutional
due process that Americans correctly have
come to believe is part of what makes this
country so great. How and why did that happen? It is a function of the
insatiable lust for impeachment in the House
for the past four years. -Okay, first of all when you use
the words insatiable lust in the same room as
Chuck Grassley and Chuck Schumer it makes me want to
chuck my lunch. Just gross, don't do it. Second, if Democrats
truly had an insatiable lust for impeachment,
they could've impeached Trump 30 times already. No President in history
has given Congress more cause to impeach
than this guy. I'd list every impeachable
offense he's committed, but I don't have time. So instead, for a full recap
of every Trump crime, just flip on over to our other
channel "Late Night-2." It's like ESPN-2,
we have re-runs of college curling,
minor league polo, and every sketch where a writer
interrupts me from the audience to talk about themselves. Now, in a way it's not shocking
Trump has bad lawyers, because he doesn't need lawyers. he's been assured that the GOP
will, with only a few exceptions pledge total and complete
loyalty to him no matter how indefensible his
actions were. And that cognitive dissonance
was no full display yesterday when GOP Senators voted to
dismiss the case, and Fox News personalities
tried to discredit the trial even as they all complained
about just how bad the President's lawyers were. -I thought it started a little
meandering. It was sort of like a lot of free associating
in the beginning. -I've seen a lot of lawyers and
a lot of arguments and that was -- that was not one
of the finest I've seen. -I thought I knew
where it was going, and I really didn't know
where he was going. -I would be screaming
if that defense attorney was defending me. He forgot to, I don't know, I
put it here somewhere, prepare. -Brian, to your point about
Mr. Castor. At one point, he compared
manslaughter to murder which both involve culpability.
-Thanks. Which, given the fact that
they're trying to figure out whether or not
the President incited it, it was a bad way to go. -Wow, you know it's bad whenever
Hannity, Kilmeade, and Ducey are saying you're unprepared. I mean, I'm pretty sure Kilmeade
wears a sign around his neck that says "If lost return to Fox
and friends." Side note, Trump's lawyers are
so
lost they couldn't connect the dots between
Brian Kilmeade's extremely close together eyes. But more importantly,
my question to the Senators is this, if Trump's lawyers did
such a bad job, then why did you vote with him
anyway? Lindsey Graham sounds like he's
describing a movie he didn't understand,
but liked anyway. [ As Graham ] What I liked about
"Fight Club" is that, at it's core,
it's about a friendship between Brad Pitt and Ed Norton,
who play two different people. But I have to say that one of
the most galling things I heard about the trial
yesterday, was that as House managers laid
out damning evidence of Trump's guilt,
including harrowing scenes of violence at the Capitol,
stoked explicitly by the former President himself,
several Republican Senators couldn't even be bothered
to pay attention. -While the Democrats were
playing their video of rioters storming the Capitol,
a handful of Republican Senators including Rick Scott,
Tom Cotton, Marco Rubio, barely even looked at the screen
according to reports. And Rand Paul was looking down
at a paper in his lap where he had begun
doodling with a pencil. -Of course Rand Paul was
doodling. he looks like a doodle
that was hit by lightning
and came to life. He was probably drawing
a prototype for a new ultra weak shower head
to give him even weirder hair. But hey, if you were a juror,
who had already made up your mind how you were gonna
vote, you would doodle too. They should all come to the
trial with sewing needles and knit turtlenecks that go all
the way up to the top of their heads. The President stoked a violent
insurrection at the Capitol and when presented with damning
video evidence of that fact, Republicans
looked the other way, not just metaphorically,
but literally. They do not care
that it happened, and we have to assume
they wouldn't care if it happened again, they're
not even paying attention. If you ask them to recap the
arguments, they'd say there were --
-Comments about -- I forget what it was. -This has been
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Bet ya he fires them and asks for a do-over