NARRATOR: The events depicted
in the following program represent Barbara
Noel's point of view. This is her story. SECRETARY (ON SPEAKER):
Dr. Masserman, your meeting with
the Psychiatric Association has been postponed. Barbara, you
shouldn't be up so soon. I'm hungry and I
think I need some air. Will you be able to
get home all right? You still seem rather shaky. I'm fine. Really just fine. Be sure to take a cab. And call me when you get home. Next Tuesday at 9:00? I don't know. I'll call you. Watch it, lady! The nearest hospital. Hurry. I've just been raped. NURSE (ON PA): Maintenance
unit to radiology. Barbara? I'm Donna. I'm with the Rape
Prevention Center. I know what you're
going through. Barbara, the police are here. They're going to have to
ask you a few questions. Can you do that now? Ma'am, I'm Detective Lewis,
unit area one violent crimes. This is my partner
Sergeant Carter. Hello. Why don't you tell
us what happened. I could feel this weight
on top of me pinning me down. And after a while, I
realized he was raping me. I didn't know who it was. I was just coming out of the
amytal and I was so groggy. Amytal? Sodium amytal, it's a drug. You were on drugs. No. Yes. I mean, sodium amytal is a drug. But it's part of my therapy. Dr. Masserman gives it to me. Your doctor? My psychiatrist. I couldn't believe it, that
he was doing this to me. Did you scream? Did you fight him off? No. I wasn't supposed
to wake up so soon. You are sure you aren't just
mad at your shrink, ma'am? You know, upset about
something he did? Of course I'm upset about
what he did, he raped me. Isn't it possible that
you dreamed all this? I mean, since you were under
the influence of drugs? I woke up. I told you, I woke up. It wasn't a dream. You're sure. It happened. He raped me. I know he did. That's enough. Please stop pushing her. But you could
have been dreaming? I could have
been, but I wasn't. Well, we'll be in touch. As soon as the test
results come in. Thank you. Thank you. NURSE (ON PA): Lab
313 to emergency. Lab 313 to emergency. You don't believe
me either, do you? Yes, I do. It happened to me, too. Barbara, you have to get
some help from somebody who knows how to deal with this. This is the card of a
psychiatrist I know. I think you'd really like her. You think after what I've
been through that I would want to see another shrink. You must really think I'm crazy. NURSE (ON PA): Dr.
Daniels to emergency. Dr. Daniels to emergency. Please take this. I'm getting out of here. I'm going home. [sobbing] Hi, Dick. Hi, Mary. It's Barbara. I wish you guys were home. I really needed to talk to you. But you aren't there. It's OK. It's OK. Showtime, Curt, showtime. You're late. (SINGING) Walk in
the sun once more. Can't go on. Everything I have is gone. Stormy weather. Just can't get my
poor self together. Keeps raining all the time. Keeps raining all the time. Keeps raining all the time. [applause] Barbara Noel,
ladies and gentlemen. We're the Curt Times
Trio, and we're just going to take a short break. I need it, OK? Tonight, I need it. What's so special
about tonight? You sound just like
an ex-husband of mine. We've got to talk about this. You're drinking is
interfering with the group. It's not doing any of
us any good ignoring it. Didn't I give you your
money's worth up there? You're the best. And you always are. But someday you're
going to believe that and I won't be able to
afford to hire you anymore. Barbara, I don't understand. Whatever it is
you're going through, I want to be there for you. I want to help. I think I could if you'd let me. Did something happened today? Let's just say I woke up. Barbara? Barbara, it's Mary. Barbara, are you in there? Barbara, what happened? We've been so worried. That message you
left on our machine. The phone has been
out all morning. Mary, please. Barbara. Barbara, get dressed. I just brought Dick home this
morning from the hospital. You're coming to
our house for lunch. Come on. And then this
morning, the police called and said they won't be
filing charges because there's no trace of semen in the tests. They say it must have
been just a dream. Barbara, tell me right now
and don't even stop to think. Were you dreaming? No. But I wish I had been. Jules Masserman,
it's unbelievable that a person of his reputation
could do such a thing. And I can't tell you how angry
I am that he did this to you. I trusted him. First thing we're gonna do,
we're gonna get you a lawyer. But you're my lawyer. I'm in entertainment law. That's no help. I can't be any help. No, no. Is that what you
want to do, Barbara? I mean, do you want
to take him to court? She can't just let
Masserman walk away from this. Dick, that's her decision. The police said there's
no physical evidence. There's no semen. Masserman could have
been wearing a condom. Did anyone think of that? Well, forget about the police. I'm going to get you the
best trial lawyer in Chicago. Barbara, Jocelyn
Samuels, please sit down. Thank you. Dick Shelton, my friend
spoke so highly of you. And he thinks it's great you're
being a woman, considering the kind of case this is. You're an actress. A singer mainly
and a composer. I do some acting and singing
in commercials and industrials. I see you were in
therapy quite some time. Well, yes. But most of the time
I'd see Dr. Masserman just like I would a friend,
you know, just to talk. I'm sorry that
I can't help you. I'm comfortable financially. I can afford to
pay you, if that's what you're worried about. No, there's no case. There's no evidence to
prove rape, no witnesses. It's your word against his,
against Jules Masserman, former President of the American
Psychiatric Association, the American Academy
of Psychoanalysis, current president of
the World Association of Social Psychiatry. As I said, there's no case. But thank you for coming in. Thank you. I'm sorry, Ms. Noel, but
your prescription has expired. I have to give Dr.
Masserman a call. No, never mind. Right across the way. OK. Hello, I'm Barbara Noel. I just called about
seeing Dr. Galanti. Oh, you're lucky you
called right after my 3 o'clock had canceled. I was just about to go home. I'm Dr. Galanti. My receptionist
is off sick today. Who did you say
referred you to me? Donna, I can't
remember her last name. Look, all I really
need is a prescription renewed for some Valium. Is that all? What is this,
a trick question? Are you hungry? I have an extra sandwich. You really should eat, you know. It's better than Valium any day. And that's your
prescription, a sandwich? That's what I get for taking
a referral from a stranger. Why are you so angry? Because I don't
want to be here. Look, I just need something
to take the edge off. Doesn't the drinking help? I haven't been drinking. Not today. Very perceptive. I just see what's in front of
me, a woman who's very upset. Have you been
in therapy before? Have I been in therapy? You know Jules Masserman? Yes. I woke up during one of my
sessions and he was on top of me raping me. Jules Masserman? Go ahead, tell
me I made it up. Tell me I dreamt it all. I wouldn't think
of telling you that. How long were you
seeing Dr. Masserman? Just give me the damn Valium. I'll tell you
what, why don't you sit down and talk to
me for half an hour and then I'll assess
the situation. And if I think it's appropriate,
I'll give you the prescription. Half an hour. Now how did all
this get started? What sent you to Dr.
Masserman in the first place? I wasn't crazy or anything. I was performing in a band
with my husband Richard. I just needed some
control over my singing. (SINGING) Can't help
loving that man of mine. When he goes away,
that's a rainy day. But when he comes
back, the day is fine. The sun will shine. He can come home
as late as can be. Home without him just
ain't home to me. Ca-- Take a break, guys. OK, guys. Five minutes. I'm sorry. I got dizzy. My voice again.
- Don't worry. - I panicked.
- Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm right here.
I'm here with you. I know. And then I get afraid
of letting you down and it builds inside
me, all this panic. And my voice just dies on me. Maybe you should
get another singer. What are you saying? I want us to be together and
I want us to work together. So whatever it is,
we'll figure it out. We'll get you the help. So we checked around. Someone told us
about Dr. Masserman. His credentials were impressive. I couldn't believe my luck
when he was willing to take me. Mrs. Noel, won't you come in? Don't worry, you'll be fine. Now, young lady, what seems
to have brought you here? Are you having problems with
your husband, Mrs. Noel? It's Noel. And it's not problems
with my husband. He's the best thing that
ever happened to me. I just don't know what
I'd do without him and I love him so much. Maybe that's the problem. I want to be everything to him,
the best wife, the best singer. We perform together. He's a musician. And lately at rehearsal and
sometimes even in performance, I lose my voice. It just stops. And I know I've been told
by my doctor there's nothing physically wrong with me. So you lose your voice. Well, we'll have to look in
to see what that's all about. And the more it
happens, the more I panic. And I just don't understand why. I mean, music, it's
always been something I could count on in my life. I myself play the
violin, you know, Mozart. Mozart is my source of serenity. My dear young lady,
I'm quite sure that the problems you've brought
me can eventually be resolved. And someday, in two years,
perhaps even as little as one, I believe that with my
guidance, a different woman will be sitting opposite me. I trusted him about
everything, about the amytal, about every aspect of my life. Sodium amytal? He gave it to me to access
deeply repressed memories. Yes, it can be used as a
form of short psychotherapy. Short? How often did
he give it to you? I would get amytal all
the time, two or three times a month, often every week. For years? This is outrageous. It should have never been
administered so frequently. Sodium amytal can cause
respiratory failure. And it is extremely addictive. I'll tell you what
I was addicted to, I was addicted to him. I needed him in my life. I thought he cared. I thought he was the only
person who could help me. You don't believe me. You don't believe what
he did to me, do you? Barbara, I need to know more. It's too late. Your half hour is
used up, Dr. Galanti. Now can I have my prescription? I'm going to give you
a small prescription, Barbara, because
you need something to help calm yourself. This is not the solution. I wish you would think about
seeing me on a regular basis. You're hiding from serious
problems that haven't ended because you left Dr. Masserman. BARBARA (ON PHONE): Hi,
sorry I can't take your call, but leave me a message and
I'll get right back to you. DR. MASSERMAN (ON PHONE):
Barbara, It's Dr. Masserman, are you there? Barbara, please
pick up the phone. Barbara, I'm so
concerned about you. You never called
after our last session and you missed your
regular appointment. Now don't hide from me, Barbara,
you know I can help you. Ah, hey, look at that. Isn't it a bit early
for hockey season. No, it's never too
early for hockey. Blackhawks, team. Did I-- did you know that
I played hockey in college? Maybe you missed your calling. I wish. Let's sit, OK? No, no, I'm fine. Mary made me promise
you'd take it easy, so sit. So did you get a hold of that
new lawyer that I recommended? Dick, what's the point? What's the point? Barbara, you have got to fight. It's a terrible
thing that happened. And the only way that you
are ever going to get over it is if you fight
for what's right. You know what
that psychiatrist said to me, Dr. Galanti? She said Dr. Masserman
shouldn't have been giving the amytal
treatments all this time. And I've been thinking,
what if he raped me before? I wouldn't have known. How could you have known? I can't get people to
believe he did this to me. And you're gonna
let that stop you? Were you ever attracted
to Dr. Masserman, Ms Noel? No, Mr. Flynn. I never entertained the
slightest romantic or sexual fantasy about Dr. Masserman. I felt more about
him like a father. I'm sorry, but the
question is bound to come up. And it's better for you
to be prepared for it. Well, based on what
you've told me, I think we have enough
here to file a civil suit. Excuse me, but are you
saying I have a case? Oh, yes, absolutely. In fact, I think you
have a very good case. Now if you prefer, we can use
a Jane Doe with this complaint to keep your name private. Otherwise it will become
a matter of public record. I'm not worried about
being embarrassed. I want people to know
what he did to me. Right. Then it's Barbara Noel
versus Jules Masserman. [phone ringing] Hello? Ms. Noel, it's Dr.
Masserman calling. I've been quite
concerned about you. Are you all right? You cancelled your appointments. I think it's time you
came in to see me. Don't you? If you have any questions,
please call my lawyer. Just a minute. 555-3809. Barbara, are you suing me? I'm glad you
came back, Barbara. I had hoped that you would. I want to get over this. That's what you're supposed
to do when you've been raped, isn't it, get some counseling? Well, your coming here today,
whether you know it or not, represents real progress. I want to stop
being so afraid. What you're
suffering from right now is really quite normal. It's called post-traumatic
stress disorder. It's what happens to soldiers
who return from combat and to victims of violent acts. What is it, Barbara? What are you thinking? This is so sick. I don't know. I'm even ashamed to say it. Part of me misses him. That's normal, too. You were seeing him for years. Patients often become dependent
on their psychiatrist. But I wasn't just a patient. I was special. Every patient
wants to feel special and wants to feel that
they're the favorite child. I was different. He'd bring me back
gifts from his trips. Sometimes he'd ask me out
in his plane or on his boat. Once he even invited me
to go with him to Paris. Yet like David facing
Goliath, all we have is our aim and the knowledge
passed on to us by our great ones,
Freud, Jung, Adler. They understood, as
William Shakespeare did, that the fault, dear
Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves. [applause] Marvelous. Thank you, Nigel. Mrs. Masserman,
this is my wife Helen. Oh, I'm not Mrs. Masserman. I'm Barbara Noel. I'm a friend of Dr. Masserman's. It must be your divine
music that attracts such a beautiful woman. Dr. Masserman,
you embarrass me. Now, now, my dear child. This isn't a Chicago suburb. There's no point in
trying to explain it. To your health and to
the wonders of Paris. Barbara, everything
you've just told me, the gifts, the
afternoon on his boat, the trip to Paris, that's
all incorrect, inappropriate therapeutic behavior. But I went along with it. I guess I encouraged it. You are not the
guilty one here. Masserman is the one
who knows what good therapy is and what it isn't. He took advantage of you. I thought he cared. Not in a romantic way, I
thought he cared about me. Barbara, given what you said
about the amytal treatments and here in his own
book, Dr. Masserman writes that the drug should
not be used in most cases and that any gains achieved
during the drug interview, and this is a quote,
"offer no lasting advantage unless they are
reviewed and applied by the patient in actual life." So what did Dr.
Masserman talk to you about after the amytal sessions? We never talk. He never told me anything
about what I had said. And when was the first
time he gave you amytal? It was I guess around the
time of my father's death. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't sleep. And then one day
after a session, he said he wanted to
see me with my husband. Now let me tell you
about this drug therapy that I call the sodium
amytal interview. I've used it with great success. A drug? What kind of drug? It's a short
acting barbiturate. Barbiturates are
addictive, aren't they? Yes, of course. But how can I become
addicted when only I can administer it to her? Well, how often would
she have to go through it? Well, now that's
very difficult to say. See each patient has different
responses, different needs. But I can assure you it is a
very safe and even pleasant experience. Now I suggest this therapy
to speed up the process so we can access Barbara's
unconscious more easily so we can get down to
talking about what's really bothering her. Well, Barbara,
you know, I mean, you're the one who
has to go through it so it's your decision. So it's all detailed
right in here. This is my book, "Practice
of Dynamic Psychiatry." Take it home. Read it carefully. I thought the
amytal would help me. And Richard said he just
wanted me to be happy. Ah, yes, Mrs. Noel. Why don't you go into
my examination room and get yourself ready. What do I need to do? Oh, disrobe, take off
whatever constricts you, and get under the blanket. You want me to
take off my clothes? No, I want you
to be comfortable. You'll be asleep for several
hours after the therapy. No need to wrinkle
you're pretty dress. I'm ready. Are you comfortable? Now, it's your job not to
worry about anything, my dear. Now make a fist. I really, really hate shots. Why? You have such lovely veins. There. Now you'll start to feel drowsy. And I'll ask you
a few questions. And you'll be able
to answer in ways you couldn't without the amytal. Whole new areas of
memory will open. Your subconscious will
reveal itself to you in new and exciting ways. You know, Barbara, sometimes
this world can seem like a very frightening place. But now you'll begin to
relax, to feel safe and happy. And all the bad feelings of
the past will begin to melt, melt away. You feel nice, huh? A little too nice? Here come the steps. Are you looking? Mm-hmm. What happened to
you and Richard? I thought the amytal
would bring us together. I never read his book. Why would you? He was the expert. You trusted him. People don't question
their doctors. I trusted him. Even though sometimes my
instincts were telling me something was wrong. The air was filled with
the smell of honeysuckle and it gets so hot. Everything would slow down and
become like a dream, a trance. Are all your childhood
memories happy ones, Barbara? Oh, yeah. All my friends
when I was little, they'd say if they had their
pick, they'd choose mine, my family. Seems like our session
has come to an end. Doctor, last time I
noticed after the amytal I had these bruises on my arms. And? I wondered how I got them. Mrs. Noel, sometimes
you flail your arms during the amytal interview
and I have to restrain you. I'm sorry if you're bruised. You bruise easily, huh? Yes. But I even have a
bruise on my pubic bone. How did I get that? How dare you. How dare you occupy my time with
these silly trivial concerns. How and where you bruise
is of no concern to me. And if you ever raise
your voice to me again, you'll never get
another drop of amytal. You understand me, Mrs. Noel? What were you
afraid of, Barbara? Learning the truth? Or getting cut off from amytal? You keep saying that, but
I'm not addicted to amytal. How could I be? I haven't had any in weeks. No, you're drinking. You're drinking gin, am I right? Gin is the closest
thing to an amytal high. Barbara, I know how difficult
it is for you to trust again, but I need you to trust me. You may have much
deeper problems. And I think that
we can get to them by meeting on a regular basis. And then maybe someday
when you're ready, I would like to try
hypnosis with you. Hypnosis, why hypnosis? I think it would help us, help
us uncover something important since Dr. Masserman
never revealed what came out of the amytal sessions. Mr. Flynn, hi. You wanted to see me. Yes, Barbara, I did. This is Masserman's resume. It's 30 pages long. It lists his awards, all
the books he's written, president of this,
president of that for life. You sound surprised. You knew how important he is. Important? Barbara, this man
is beyond important. I mean, he's a
giant in his field. Look, I've talked to all
kinds of psychiatrists. No one is willing to
testify against Masserman. It's down to your
word against his. And the bottom line is-- the bottom line is I
can't win this case. I'm going to have to withdraw. But you can't. You already filed the complaint. I'm sorry, but I didn't get
in this business to suffer personal embarrassment. And you, according
to this letter that I received from
Masserman's attorney, are a very troubled person. Barbara, it's Masserman's expert
opinion that you're unstable. They got to you, didn't they? You have three weeks
to find a new attorney or the court will
dismiss the complaint. You want my advice,
Barbara, give it up. You're not believable. They'll cut you to pieces. Good day, Mr. Flynn. (SINGING) But for
tonight, forget it. I'm in the mood for love. Barbara Noel,
ladies and gentlemen. We're going to
take a short break. We'll be right back. Be right there. I'll pick up in the next set. If there is a next set. It's not the drinking. I'm under a lot of pressure. Yeah. Well, me too, pressure
from the guys. They're getting fed up. There's not enough gigs. We're losing ones we've
always been able to count on. They're not happy, Barbara. Neither am I.
- What are you saying? I'm fired?
You want to fire me? Is that it? What the hell is
going on with you? It's like nobody
exists besides you. You're all locked up in
your own little world. Curt, I-- What? There's something
I need to tell you. It's OK, Curt,
nobody believes me. I've been through
two lawyers already. My friend Dick's got a
new one lined up for me. Why didn't you tell me
about all this before? It's an old habit. I can only talk
about my feelings to people who charge
me a lot of money. I can send you a bill if
it makes you feel any better. Barbara, sometimes
I look at you and I feel like you're made of glass. You're so fragile,
you could break just from being looked at. And I want to do is hold you
and keep you from breaking. I'm OK. I'll be OK. Sorry. Well, we better get back. At least 10 people down there
are hungry for our music. Barbara, this-- this thing that
happened to you, don't give up. Ken Carroll, Barbara,
pleased to meet you. Hello. Sit down. Thank you. How is Dick? Is his condition any better? He's in the hospital this
week for more cancer tests, but he's hanging in there. I've discussed your case
with some of my colleagues here at the law school. The first thing is the rape. It's extremely doubtful that
we can prove that it happened. I'm used to hearing this. Look, if you don't
think I have a case-- Barbara, the rape is
difficult to prove because you perceive Masserman's
behavior coming out of a semi-conscious state. But I think we got him
on the sodium amytal. I've talked to a few
experts and they all agree that it's
unusual, if not to say highly dangerous
that he administered it to you as often as he did. Whatever he did to me
with the sodium amytal just doesn't
compare to the rape. Barbara, I want
you to know that I think you'd be thoroughly
credible in the courtroom. But if you let me go
after him on the issue of medical malpractice,
then you've got yourself legal representation. It's a very important
case, Barbara, one I think we can win. Good morning, Dr. Masserman. What do you think he's
telling me with that look? Case closed? This is simply
Masserman's deposition, his side of the story. It's not a case yet, not until
the judge decides that there's enough to go to trial with. Most important thing
we've got to do is to get him to admit that
he gave you the sodium amytal. If he doesn't, we're dead. We have no other way
of proving he did. Doctor, how would
you describe Ms. Noel? I would say that she is
personality maladaptable, with episodes of
anxiety and depression and suicidal preoccupation. I see, and in layman's terms? She's always having
unfortunate relations with men. And after these
promiscuous affairs, she is subject to self isolation
and episodes of alcoholism. Her insistence on
being a singer is also a source of depression for her. She sang a little bit in
my office and I could tell, I could judge from her
voice that she was not likely to become a prima donna. Now doctor, in your
treatment program, what was to be the
role of sodium amytal? It was used only
when she was seriously depressed, agitated,
and required relief from excessive tension. So you admit to administering
sodium amytal to Barbara Noel? Yes, certainly. Now, doctor, how
often did you administer sodium amytal to Ms. Noel? Well, I have no way of
knowing this for certain. Was it once a year? It depends on the year. Twice a year? 10 times a year? I really can't say. You can't?
Why not? You don't remember? You don't have any
records to refer to? At this time I would like
to produce Dr. Masserman's notes regarding Ms. Noel. Three pages? These three pages are the
totality of your notes on Ms. Noel's treatment? To my knowledge, yes, sir. Well, doctor, I
mean, these don't add up to almost 10 years of notes. I mean, how can you possibly
describe her case to us? Do you know how many
times you saw her? I can't tell
you how many times I treated this patient, sir. We're trying to determine,
doctor, how often you injected Ms. Noel with sodium amytal. Was it once a month? Five times a month? 10 times a month? Perhaps once every
three or four months, depending on her needs. Good. Thank you. So according to your own count,
over the course of 10 years, you injected Ms. Noel with
sodium amytal at least 30 times, even though
the best medical opinion states that she could
have become dangerously addicted as a result. I do not agree with that, sir. Amytal is not addictive
because it is a category 2 drug and can be obtained
only by prescription. And that is your explanation
of an addictive drug, that a patient can
obtain it on the street? Do you recognize this book? Yes, sir, I am the author
of that book and many others. Do you stand by the
statements in this book, "The Practice of
Dynamic Psychiatry?" Of course I do. Doctor, would you read
the underlined text? Sodium amytal drug sessions
offer no lasting advantage and are contraindicated
in most cases. And doctor, would you
explain in layman's terms, what contraindicated means? Yes, it means, sir, that a
procedure or drug is not to be used in a particular case. But Ms. Noel's case
was entirely different. Entirely different. Yes, it was. And we're getting to
that, doctor, right now. September 21 of last year. You administered sodium amytal
to Ms. Noel on that day, did you not, doctor? She had requested the amytal
on two previous occasions. And I thought it inappropriate
to give it to her then. But this time she had
been drinking again. Therefore she again
requested the amytal. So I asked her to go
into the next room and as usual make
herself ready for it. What did you mean
by make herself ready? As is usual, to lie down on
the cot, cover herself over, and have only her arm
available for the amytal. I never asked her to disrobe. She did so and so-- Objection. I want that last
remark stricken. Doctor, do you deny lying
upon Ms. Noel in that room where you administered sodium
amytal on September 21? - Yes, sir.
- OK, that's it. That's enough. My client needs to take a break. Doctor, under your
care, this woman who you described as
merely maladjusted became addicted to
sodium amytal and then to alcohol when the sodium
amytal wasn't available. She did not turn into
an alcoholic in my care. She elected to become one. Doctor, she was
under your care. You injected her
with sodium amytal, by your own count over
30 times, if not more, even though you knew she
was becoming an addict. You destroyed this woman. Did you not, doctor? Who's trying to destroy who? Have you seen the police report? She says she dreamt
the whole thing up. What happened? He became dehydrated. He's OK now. He's just sleeping. They said he could
go home tomorrow. How did the deposition go? He couldn't wait to find out. Fine. Tell him it went just fine. Good. Good. What is it? Some new developments. OK, look, if you decided
to withdraw from my case, can we just get this over with. Masserman's attorney
has contacted me. They want to discuss
a settlement. What? Why? Because two women who were
also patients of Masserman have gotten in touch with me. They want to file
lawsuits against him. They went through
the court records to find out whether
anybody else had a similar complaint
against Masserman and they saw your name. You should be proud
of yourself, Barbara. Your refusal to hide
behind a Jane Doe gave them the strength they
needed to come forward. Can I meet them? Absolutely. Congratulations. We finally have the
corroboration we need. [chatter] Excuse me, are you Lorna? Barbara. I saw you, but I wasn't sure. I thought, not her, she
looks too together to have been with Dr. Masserman. Oh, I thought
the same about you. Yeah? But me, people think,
she's just a singer. When I heard about you, you
being a university professor, I thought this doesn't make
me look so bad anymore. Uh, just coffee, thanks. Thank you for agreeing
to meet with me. I've been blaming myself
so much over this. When I heard this had
happened to other women, it made all the difference. So what made you go
to Dr. Masserman? A few years ago, I met a
man that I really cared about. I didn't want to make the
same mistakes with him that I had in my other relationships. I've always had
trouble trusting men. I could never really
commit myself emotionally. But I didn't know why. And that's what led
me to Masserman. But whenever I wanted to
get down to the heart of it, he'd say why do you
go out of your way to seek negative attention? You're nothing but
a spoiled brat. Bad little girl. A bad little girl. Did he ever give you amytal? On and off for a few years. Do you know if he ever-- Had sex with me? I started having strange
dreams about him. I-- I met this woman
at my health club. She's the other woman
that's suing Masserman. We had a lot in common. Turns out we had
Masserman in common, too. And then she told
me about the dreams that she'd been having,
dreams of Masserman sexually abusing her. Same dreams as mine. That's when we realized
that they weren't dreams, they were memories of what
had happened under amytal. I felt really foolish. I felt so stupid. I want him to pay
for what he did. And then I want to forget
that he ever existed. I wonder if we'll
ever be able to forget. So what about you? You have kids? No, no kids. Husband? I had a husband, Richard. Hi. Don't. Well, her skin's on fire. She's got the gin out,
hostile attitude-- guess who's had an
amytal session today? I'm not hostile. Anyway, Dr. Masserman says
it's normal to release negativity after amytal. I am sick to death of hearing
that man's name in my house. You're the one who
said I needed help. Well, you're not
getting help, are you? I mean, look at you. You don't go out anymore. You don't talk to anyone. You don't talk to me. You're not interested
in having sex with me. This isn't about
sex, and you know it. Come on, sweetheart. What happened? We used to be so good together. I don't even know
who you are anymore. It should have been simple. We both wanted the same
thing, to be together, keep loving each other. Would you have
stayed together, if it hadn't been for Masserman? I don't know. But we were better
together before I started seeing Dr. Masserman. Sorry I'm late. Barbara was worried
you might not show up. Well, I said I was sorry. Mr. Noel, Barbara has asked
me to see what I can do to help you reconcile your differences. I sense you're not
happy to be here. Oh, really? You could tell that? There's no need
for sarcasm, sir. Now, why don't you just
tell me what you're feeling? You're controlling her, OK? I mean, that's what I'm feeling. I mean, you say jump, she jumps. You say amytal, she sticks
out her arm for you. I mean, you have turned this
woman into a junkie, doctor, or haven't you noticed that? I think you should attempt
to control yourself, sir. I mean, a few dizzy spells
that's why she came to see you. I hardly think you
are qualified to assess the situation, Mr. Noel. I'm the expert here, and
your wife is doing very well. Doctor, do you
have any idea what the amytal does to this woman? All right, it takes one complete
day for her to sleep it off. Then when she
finally does get up, she gets herself drunk
on Gin because she wants to keep the feeling going. I mean, do you call
that a good therapy? I mean, I want to hear this. Certainly, you are free
to seek out other opinions, other therapies. Richard, I asked Dr.
Masserman to help us, help us find what
we lost together. Sweetheart, don't you
get it, he can't help us. Only you can, you have
to get off amytal. You have to leave him. Now, why don't we just
calm down and discuss this. No, that's it, OK? I've had it. I'm sorry. Barbara, we're gonna go now. We're gonna leave here. You're gonna come with me. And you are never
coming back here. Barbara, I must tell you
that to leave you a therapy now would be quite disastrous. Think of the progress
you've been making. You're growing confidence. Sweetheart, let's just
get out of here, OK? Come with me now. Because if you--
don't look at him. Because if you
don't, you don't have a prayer Not a hope in hell. So come on, OK? Come on. Do you see? You see what you've done to her? Barbara, you're just
throwing your life away. You're just throwing us away. Barbara, I love you. Richard. Barbara, it's all
in the past now. Masserman wants to settle. If the terms are right,
I intend to accept. I'm going to put this
behind me and forget. I really think you
ought to do the same. I wish I could. I really wish I could. The terms of Masserman's
proposed settlement are extremely generous. This has nothing to
do with money, Ken. They're offering you $200,000. So what? After your fee, it'll just
cover what I paid Masserman. Then you'll be even. I'll never be even. I could have had a husband. I could have had a life. Barbara, I hope you know how
much this case means to me, not just because it deals
with an important man's abuse of power, but because of you. You are a remarkable person. You have a lot to teach
people about courage. Nobody believed me, not
until Lorna and the other woman came forward. But now finally
he's going to have to admit what he did to me. You'll never
get that from him. I'll never get it
from him if I settle. Barbara, I think
you should know that the other two
women have already agreed to settle with him. We had a trial date. The judge agreed we had a case. It's not for four years. What I'm trying to tell you
is four years is a long time. What if, for example,
Masserman dies? That could happen, you know? If that happens, we
could lose the case. But this way, his
settling with you acknowledges his responsibility,
the harm that he's done to you. I strongly recommend
that you accept. And if I don't? This is all I can do for you. Barbara, be glad it's over. Oh. This is really something,
just like the pros. How do I look? Adorable. So-- how about you? What did you decide? I took the settlement. It feels so wrong. Well, you didn't
have much choice. Barb, I gotta tell you something
that you don't want to hear. I know that it's been tough
dealing with all this. But from now on,
it's all up to you. There's not going to be any
change, real change for you until you stop drinking,
kick your addictions, get yourself together. You can do it, Barb,
I know you can. [chatter] Why don't you read
what's in the paper. It's about Dr. Masserman
and his settlement with you and the
two other women. He's still denying there
was any sexual abuse. Masserman regrets the
unfortunate publicity. Wishes only to get on with
his work and resumes practice. Please keep in touch with me. I really feel there's
more you need to know. I know as much as I need to. Thanks, anyway. Excuse me, are
you Jeannie Wilcox? Yes. Are you Barbara Noel? Yes. Great, come on in. I'm not exactly sure why
you asked to meet with me. Have a seat. I've launched an investigation
into Dr. Masserman's practice and I need your help. Well, I've already
settled with him. Isn't it too late? No, not for us it isn't. See, we're responsible for going
after licensed practitioners. The article in the Trib
is what alerted us. I read it and I was stunned. Jules Masserman is
the most prominent psychiatrist in the world. But the more I read about
the allegations against him, the more I wondered why this
guy is still practicing. The woman that you
just saw leaving, she's a patient of Masserman's
and she's still seeing him. To her, Masserman is a god. She thinks that the 10 women
who came forward with complaints against him are all delusional. 10 women? Yes. The stories are all similar
to yours, the amytal sessions, the disrobing, memories
of bizarre incidents. Some of them had
unexplained bruises. Some woke up and he
was fondling them. What are you going to do? I'm going to go
after his license. But I need all the
help I can get. Are you in? Absolutely. Hi. I brought you a sandwich. Oh, thanks. You know, proper eating is
better than a Valium any day. Do I really sound like that? Yeah, but it helped me. Well, I'm starving. I haven't been able to
leave the office all day. My receptionist
is off sick again. I think she's working another
gig and you don't know it. So how are you? Fine. At least that's what
I keep telling myself. What is it, Barbara? 10 other women came
forward with allegations against Masserman. And you know what else? Most of them figured
out within a year or two what he was doing to them. But me? So you're angry with yourself
that it took you so long? It's not as if I
didn't have clues. Why didn't I know? Or did I know? And am I guilty,
guilty of letting it go on year after year? What do you think? I didn't want this to happen. I didn't choose this. I kept trying to
get away from him, but something kept
bringing me back. Something? Or amytal? You're going to have
to acknowledge this. As long as you don't deal
with your addictions, you're going to have Masserman
in your life controlling you as though you never left him. He hasn't left me. I'm afraid to pick up the phone. I'm afraid to fall asleep. Are you having nightmares? Mm-hmm. It's always the same. I'm in a grassy field
near a riverbank, a river where we used to go to
have picnics when I was a kid. And I'm nine, eight, seven. And it's hot and I can
smell the honeysuckle. And I-- I guess I've fallen
asleep because something starts waking me up. And I'm having trouble
opening my eyes. And I hear sounds, breathing
sounds, wind in the trees. And someone is on top of me,
crushing me with her body, hurting me. And I open my eyes
and it's Masserman. Barbara, I think it's
time that we started discussing your childhood. Why? I didn't come here to start
going through all that again. You have a lot of
unanswered questions. There's nothing to say. I was a normal kid, two
parents, end of story. Go on. Say whatever comes
into your mind. What's coming into my mind
is that this is pointless. Keep going. I was happy, OK? I was feisty. I was a real tomboy and
always getting into trouble, climbing trees,
finding a wasp's nest, bringing it home with the
wasp, stuff like that. I was an ordinary, regular kid. My parents though,
they were the ones who were special, gifted musically. They were really very glamorous. I loved listening to
them play music and sing. And I wanted, I really wanted
them to approve of my singing, especially my father. Listening to Masserman
at the deposition, the way he put down my
singing reminded me so much of my father. One time when I was seven, I-- What were you going to say? I don't remember. You don't remember what
you were going to say or the incident? I don't know. Well, what can you
remember about being seven? Nothing. Nothing specific. I can't remember. That's OK. There are other ways to access
your memory, through hypnosis. I told you I'm not sure. It's not sodium amytal. You'll be conscious
the whole time. I don't know some day maybe. Why not today? Barbara, I know how tough it is
for you, giving me your trust. Hypnosis is simply a
process of relaxation, a way for you to go
deep inside yourself. OK. Good. I'll just come a little closer. Will you be able to
make me do silly things like bark like a dog and
give you all my savings? All I really want you to
do is to feel comfortable. I want you to relax. I want you to think of
yourself lying in warm water and feel how the
water relaxes you. All of the tension
is slipping away. Your eyelids begin to
feel heavy and your hands lose all of their tension. As you float,
float, relax, relax. Now Barbara we're going
to go back in time, back to when you
were 10 years old, to when you were nine years
old, and now you're eight. Now you're seven. You're seven years old. Barbara, I want
you to look around and tell me where you are. We're having a picnic
next to the river. Is there anybody with you? My parents, they're gone. I'm all alone. Barbara, is something wrong? Mm-hmm. What is it, Barbara? My eyes are closing. I'm afraid. I know it's going to happen. What Barbara? He's going to hurt me. He's going to fall
on me, on top of me. It's going to hurt me. Who, Barbara? He's going to hurt
me, in my private place. Who, Barbara, who? I can't see him. I'm afraid to open my eyes. Open them, Barbara. Who is it? Who is hurting you? Daddy! Daddy! How could this have happened
to me and I didn't know? It was too deeply buried. You couldn't let yourself know. But Dr. Masserman,
why didn't he know? Or did he? I was pretty sure
by our third session. You had all the signs of
childhood sexual abuse. And I'm hoping that
what you learned today will help you stop
blaming yourself. You're the perfect victim. (SINGING) The moon
belongs to everyone. The best things
in life are free. The stars belong to everyone,
they shine down on you and me. The flowers in
spring, the robins that sing, the sunbeams
that shine, they're yours, they're mine. And love can-- Our apologies,
ladies and gentlemen. Great, great, good,
you read my mind. Because I've had it. I've had it with you. Getting drunk again? I wasn't drunk. Now it sounds like a great idea. Don't you ever think
of anybody but yourself? Don't touch me. I don't want anyone to touch me. [phone ringing] BARBARA (ON PHONE): Hi,
sorry I can't take your call. But leave me a message and
I'll get right back to you. MARY (ON PHONE): Uh,
Barbara, it's Mary. I'm at the hospital. And Dick passed away, dear. There, there. He just loved you-- loved you like a daughter. A daughter who gave
him a lot of worries. OK. An old friend of mine used
to say, you can do it, Barb. My name is Barbara Noel. Hi, Barbara. Hi. And I'm an alcoholic. I want to stop
destroying myself. And I know I can do it. Barbara, I'm so proud of you. Five weeks? Six, six whole
weeks without a drink. Dick would be proud, too. Except he'd say,
what took you so long? Oh, that is fabulous. They look great
under a spotlight. Do I hear a singer who wants
to get back on the stage? I've been thinking about it. What is it? NEWSCASTER (ON TV): Prominent
Chicago psychiatrist Dr. Jules Masserman was celebrating
with friends and colleagues last night in Rio
de Janeiro, where he was honored by
the International Psychiatric community. Dr. Masserman was named honorary
president for life of the World Association of Social
Psychiatry in recognition of a lifetime of meritorious
service to mankind. Dr. Masserman recently
announced at a press conference is retiring from his
practice in order to concentrate on research. Are you all right? Yeah. I don't know how
I'm going to manage facing him at the hearing. You're going to do
just fine, Barbara. Barbara, there isn't
going to be any hearing. What happened? Dr. Masserman
offered to give up his medical license and his
controlled substance license. It was an offer
that my department felt was too good to refuse. It means he can't
practice anymore and that's what we wanted. But in exchange-- He denies all allegations. No wonder he's
smiling on the news. He spent years abusing
me and other women and now he's gotten
away with it again. And on top of it, they
give him an award. He can't counsel
patients, not anymore. Can't he? Are you sure? What about that woman
patient of his you met, the one who was
still going to him even after she'd heard about
all the charges against him? She was there in Rio with him. Who knows how many women he's
still treating privately? And why wouldn't they go to him? His reputation is
still as good as ever. As far as everyone's concerned,
he hasn't lost his license, he's just retired to devote
more time to research. Margaret, you're right not
to be satisfied with this. I have a suggestion. Go to the American
Psychiatric Association. They have an ethics committee. Demand an inquiry. If they punish
Masserman, it will be an important admission
that he betrayed the trust of his patients. Several former
patients have come forward with serious allegations
against Dr. Masserman, not just me. The Department of
Registration has statements from many of them. I'm asking that your
association open an inquiry into what happened. Thanks for submitting
this, Ms. Noel. We'll examine the
matter in due course. When can I expect
to hear from you? I'll reach a decision
within nine months. Though, of course, it
could be sooner than that. Fine. If I don't hear
from you, doctor, you'll be hearing from me. I saw your ad about
the auditions. I was wondering if
I could try out. Why not? Curt? You bring any music? [music playing] (SINGING) Skylark. Have you seen a valley
green with spring? Where my heart can
go a journeying. Over the shadows and the rain
to a blossom covered lane. And in your lonely
flight, haven't you heard the music in the night? Wonderful music, faint
as a will o' the wisp. Crazy as a loon, sad as a
gypsy serenading the moon. Oh, skylark, I don't know if
you can find these things. But my heart is
riding on your wings. So if you see them anywhere,
won't you lead me there? You look great, Barbara. Sounds amazing, too. Whatever you did,
it did good for you. Thanks. Guys, that's it for now. Where have you been? Getting my act together. In a few more months, I
become a proud graduate of the Grant Hospital
chemical dependency clinic. It's been great. And I've been learning
a lot of new songs because half the music
industry is there with me. Curt, I don't expect
that you take me back. I came today because
I wanted to thank you. To thank me? Yeah, for saying you wanted
to keep me from breaking. I'm sorry if this is
embarrassing for you. It's just I've
spent my whole life keeping secrets, holding back. And I don't want to
hold back, not anymore. Rehearsal tomorrow at 11:00. Oh, the guys are really great. We're having so much fun
together at rehearsal. But Curt is so aloof. He's just being careful. He's got good reason. Oh, Mary, what if he's already
involved with someone else? Has he said anything? He's divorced. He was just going
through his divorce when we first started
working together. But he's never said anything
about another woman since then. What if I ask him? Or is that even
something people ask? Barbara, when was the last
time you were on a date? If a man were interested in
you, you wouldn't even know. You wouldn't be able
to recognize the signs. Just take your time. But let him know that you care. There's nothing wrong with that. Unless it's the
last thing he wants. What is it? It's from the ethics
committee from the American Psychiatric Association. They've agreed to hear my case. Patricia, the ethics
committee said I could bring someone else to the hearing. And I thought another woman
who'd been through this-- No, Lorna hasn't
returned my calls. Do you know someone
else I could call? Yeah? Got it. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Trish. I understand. [chatter] Sam, why don't you
come to my office later and we'll discuss it further. Barbara, I was
going to call you. No, you weren't. I know what you want, Barbara. And I can't do it. Why? Because I don't want
to embarrass my husband. Because I don't want to
compromise my position here. Do you want other reasons? Why me? What about the others? Everyone's glad
I'm doing this. And just as glad it's not them. Lorna, if I go to
the committee alone, I'm worried it'll look like
I'm on a personal vendetta. It's over for
me, Barbara, over. Is it? I hate this. I hate having him in my head. I hate having him in my life. You know, I still
have nightmares. I still have images, memories. Waking up naked with
him standing over me, fondling my breasts
and saying, oh you have such lovely breasts. Lorna, it wasn't your fault. You don't understand. The part that is so horrible
is that I felt flattered. I felt proud. And I hate myself for that. It makes me sick when
I think about it. I can't forgive myself. There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't you reacting like
that, it was the amytal. No, it wasn't the amytal,
it was me, wanting his love, wanting his approval. I can't. I can't be near him. I can't be anywhere near him. It's not just for us. It's for all the other women. If you can't do it for
yourself, do it for them. I can't. Barbara, I'm sorry. Curt, don't worry if
I'm a bit late tonight. That meeting, I told
you I was going to, I'm not sure exactly
when it'll be over. Did you find someone
to go with you? I'm going alone. I'll go with you. It's not right
that you go alone. I'll be OK. Hey, Barbara, I
wish I understood what you were going through. I know you needed that from me. You did what you could. No one could get close to me. And now? I guess I'd better go. I'm really glad you're here. I couldn't let him
get away with it. I woke up and he was
stroking my bare breasts. I was revolted. But I couldn't react. I was too groggy
from the amytal. And later I wanted to believe
that I had been dreaming because I had too much
respect for him to believe that he could do such a thing. To this day, I
don't understand how he could have done this to me. Ms. Lucas, are you 100%
sure this really happened? Yes. Ms. Lucas, the
facts are clear, you were coming out of
a semiconscious state at the time. Isn't it possible your
memory is at fault here? My memory is quite clear. How do you know? It might even have been a dream,
as you yourself suggested. I wasn't dreaming. Is this how you expect
to get to the truth? How can you be so sure? Because it happened. I don't doubt my
memory on that incident nor do I doubt my
memory about the time that Dr. Masserman,
knowing I was pregnant, administered sodium
amytal to me. He said that I
needed to find out if I really wanted this child. I was so much under his
control that it never even occurred to me
to ask him if this might cause a miscarriage. And it did. Professor Lucas. No, I have nothing left
to say to you people. You've all made up your
minds and nothing that we say can change any of that. I think you're all
despicable, all of you. I'm sorry, Barbara. I'm so sorry. Don't say that. You were fantastic. Ms. Noel, we're not likely
to reschedule this meeting. I suggest you speak to us
now, if you still intend to. You OK? Or the sounds of
washing, the jingling of coins in a pants pocket. And I thought it might
be safe if I could open my eyes, even
just a little, to see who had done this to me. It was Dr. Masserman. The man who raped me
was Jules Masserman. Ms. Noel, you want us to
believe this really happened, yet you did nothing at the
time of this alleged rape. According to what you just
said, you simply lay there, didn't you?
- I was drugged. I was just coming
out of the amytal. But you did open your eyes. And you say the man you
saw was Dr. Masserman. Now surely at that point,
you could have screamed, called for help, tried to defend
yourself, yet you did nothing. Would you call that a
normal response to rape? I don't know what a
normal response to rape is. I would like the committee to
study the police report written on the day of the
alleged rape in which Ms. Noel admitted to the police
she dreamt the whole thing. I never said that. That is not what I meant. Ms. Noel, I hardly think
your memory is credible. Are you not an alcoholic? Yes, but I-- And is it not
true that you have also been an outpatient at a
clinic for chemical dependency? Because I am
addicted to sodium amytal into alcohol as a result. I would also like to call into
question Ms. Noel's character. Dr. Lindros, I don't
see how this is relevant. Are we to believe a
woman who, following her divorce from
her husband Richard, embarked on a series of
promiscuous adventures-- Ms. King. Doctor, this woman
is an alcoholic. She is a sexually promiscuous,
embittered woman who now seeks to blame a man of
international stature for the failure of her life. That will do, Ms. King. Ms. Noel, we thank you
for your testimony. That is all we
require at this time. I'd like to make a statement. Doctor, I object. Go ahead, Ms. Noel. For so long, I didn't know
why I had this terrible sadness inside me. I recently learned with the
help of a caring therapist that I was sexually
abused when I was a child. And this knowledge
helped me understand the hurt, the pain
I was carrying when I first went to you for help. But what did you do? You drugged me. You promised the amytal
would free me from my pain, but it just drugged me. And while I was defenseless
and vulnerable, you used me. And you made sure when I woke
up that I remembered nothing. I remembered nothing. But I carried in me
a terrible poison, an addiction that kept me coming
back to you year after year. It's not just that you raped me. It's all the years you took away
from me, all the wasted years. And whether these men and
women, your colleagues, choose to believe me, there is
something I want you to know. I have survived. I have become strong
without you, despite you. This is who I could have been
all those years ago if you had honored your commitment
to me, the sacred vow that all doctors make to heal. Dr. Masserman, for what you did
to me, you should feel shame. That hurt little
girl is still in me. But I love her and
she's starting to heal. And today, my life begins again. Darn, my zipper is stuck. Can you do it up for me? Oh, I don't know, Barbara. I don't know if I should. Why? What do you mean? Well, you always told
me not to get too close. Try me. NARRATOR: Dr. Jules Masserman
has never been convicted in a court of law and continues
to deny all the allegations brought against him. In October of 1991, the American
Psychiatric Association appeals board voted to suspend Dr.
Jules Masserman from the APA and the Illinois
Psychiatric Society for five years for
violation of the principles of medical ethics. Barbara Noel is still
living in Chicago and is enjoying
success in her career as a singer and songwriter. She has become a spokesperson
for victims of sexual abuse. [music playing]
