Aw... he's really fuzzy. Oh!
Horsey rides! Kids love horseys. Great idea having
Patrick play pony. I'll charge these kids ten bucks
a ride and cash in big time! Oh, I don't know, Mr. Krabs, I think Patrick will only let
me ride him. [chuckles]
Oh, nonsense. Pony rides! Ten buckaroos! [neighing] [laughing] Four at a time quadruplicates
me money. Let's try for five.
[chuckles] Uh-oh. Ooh. Oh! Ooh. [screaming] My wittle weg! Yay! All right, next up. [neighing] My other wittle weg! Horsey Patrick, come back!
[sobbing] That's me money running away!
Come back! Oh, yes. Oh, yes, come back. I said, "Whoa, horsey Patrick." Look at me. I'm a horse.
Cloppity, cloppity, cloppity. [laughing] [chuckles] Cloppity, cloppity, cloppity. What? Oh, this is humiliating. Quiet. Horseys don't talk. Okay, kids, ten bucks a ride!
Who's next? Me! Get moving, horse! Ow! Cut it out! Ride's over. Who's next? Wow, Mr. Krabs. How'd you get
Squidward to give rides? Hmm. Says right here in his contract.
"I can work him like a horse." Huh?
[growling] [huffing] Hey, get your mule away
from my show pony! This here's a thoroughbred. Oh, yeah. I'm a real stud. Now look at your old pile
of dog food. [laughing] [braying] I'd put my pile of dog food
up against your stud any day! Oh, yeah?
How 'bout a race, then? First one to delivery
a Krabby Patty to Black Devil Bay wins. You're on! This shortcut sign should send
SpongeBob and Patrick far from the finish line. Hi-ho, Squidward! Whoa! Whoa, shortcut.
This could be a trick. I love tricks! [screaming] Whoa, whoa! [screaming]
Hyah! Oh, boy, we're ahead! No, you're actually behind!
[cackles] Huh? Whoa, Patrick. Whoa. Har har har. [dinging] Oh! Have some slippery mustard,
slowpokes! That was extra spicy
slippery mustard! [laughing] Oh, ratfish! I've got one more trick
up me sleeve. This is the police! I'm pulling you over
for speeding! No, this is the police! I'm pulling you over
for impersonating an officer! [grunting] Here's your delivery, sir. What? I was hungry. We win! We win! I- I had the best horsey!
I had the best horsey! I don't want
to be a horse anymore. Okay, buddy, but remember,
you can still be anything. Oh! In that case, I think I'll be...
a crab! Ark, ark, ark, ark, ark, ark! Huh? [gasping] Oh, no, you don't!
Come back here with me claws! [sighing] How 'bout a ride back
to the old Krusty Krab, cowboy? [sighing] [neighing] [screaming] Hello. Welcome to my commercial. Would you like the convenience
of a Krabby Patty at home without the hassle
of going to the Krusty Krab? Well, now you can have delicious
Krabby Patties anytime you want. They are in your grocer's
freezer section. Buy them.
I want your money. Did you get that, Pearlie girl? Yes, Daddy,
and stop babying me. So, Mr. Grouper,
what do you think? Call me Don. Oh. Well, okay, Don.
Will this make me rich? Mr. Krabs, if you want to sell
zero Krabby Patties and wind up in the poor house, then I say go
with your commercial. Oh. But,
if you really want to be rich, keep your mouth shut
and listen to us, sir. Ooh. Okay. [dinging] Krabby Patties,
they taste so nice that they... taste nice. Hey, that was my slogan. Great stuff, huh?
This guy is gonna be a star. I'm already a star. That's the attitude. Hey, SpongeBob,
now that I finished doing whatever it is I'm doing,
you want to go play? Sorry, yellow box,
Patrick has to make a personal appearance at mall. I- Oh. Don, will this commercial
really help me make money? You need to call your bank,
Krabs, because they are going
to have to build an extra vault to hold all the extra money. Oh. I do declare, Mr. Grouper, I believe I have a case
of the vapors. I told you, call me Don. [sighing] Of course you could double, maybe even triple or quadruple
that money, if you- No. Forget it. What? Forget what? What? What?
What are you saying? Well, we're ran some numbers
and realized that you could make a lot more money
if you changed the formula. How much a lot more? A lot, a lot more. Well, then let's fill 'er up
with filler. Mr. Krabs, are you changing
the secret Krabby Patty formula? [laughing, stammering] It's just a little tweak,
me boy. What is filler? [laughing] This little yellow box here
is full of questions. What do you say we go see
where the money's made? Oh, that sounds great. Finally,
now is my chance to strike. Welcome to the original Krusty- Curses. Foiled again.
Curses. Foiled again. Pfft. Never happened. Now to make my escape. [laughing] Aren't you going
to try and stop me? That'll be 1.99, please. What do you mean $1.99?
You're not going to step on me? I've got the secret formula,
you know. Anyone can have
a secret formula. We sell 'em in the gift shop. See, they're all just fakes.
Everything here is fake. Ah, forget it.
What's the world coming to? Alright, just give me
one frozen Krabby Patty to go. <i> Ding.</i> Ha ha! Yes! You fool! Shouldn't we chase after him?
He didn't pay. Oh, what's the point? These frozen Krabby Patties
have ruined my life, Squidward. It was all my idea.
Who am I to fight the future? Sand? It tastes like sand.
Not good sand, either. Of course it does. What do you think
Krabs uses as filler? Krabby Patties aren't made
with sand, they're made with love! Thank you, everyone,
for coming to this gala event celebrating the meteoric success
of frozen Krabby Patty. In honor
of this momentous occasion, we are going to premier
our 400th commercial, And here to say a few words is
the face of frozen Krabby Patty our own Patrick Star.
Come on up, Patrick. [cheering, applause]
I love this guy! Good evening, ladies
and the other ones. I know you're all excited to see
the 400th commercial but before we see it,
I just want to say... that... that... frozen Krabby Patties are... Uh, uh, uh. filled with sand! [gasping] That was cute
when you were rich. Out of here. [laughing] Oh, no, the prison is full. Looks like we'll just have
to set you free. [gasping]
Free? But he's a criminal. Well, you know what they say. Don't stop the crime,
if you can't enforce the time. [laughing] Eat it, Krabs.
I'm off to reoffend. [laughing] It's a shame that there's
no other place in Bikini Bottom to hold our extra criminals. 'Cause we'd give that place
a lot of money. [laughing]
Ya got yourself a deal. We can lock him up at my place,
the Krusty Krab. Well, then,
this is for the prisoner. And here's your your cash. [gasping] Whoa.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Thank you, madam officer. [groaning] [vocalizing] [whistling]
Nice work, boy-o. Very prison-y. Hey, uh, what's
with all the caged men in here? They're making me
a little nervous. Oh. Uh, well, we were
a prison-themed restaurant now. Do your time
with our new Prison Patties. It served in a solitary
confinement box, has its own prisoner number, and even comes
with a toy shackles. Wow. Looks delicious. That's right.
At the Krusty Krab, you can lock up your hungry
and throw away the keys. [cheering] Ooh. Crises averted. Okay, time to let Plankton
out of the hole. Open her up, boy-o. [grunting] Mm. Pull yourself together,
prisoner. I got a new cell for you. The formula?
It's so close. I can almost touch it.
No! No! No! [laughing]
Good times. Good times. Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh, morning, officer. I'm here to oversee
Plankton's release. His sentence is up. What? But I have so many more
punishments for him. [laughing] Enjoy your Plankton free prison,
Eugene. I hope it's worth
what you're paying for it. [laughing] Paying for it?
Wonder what he means by that. Huh? [yawning] [snoring] [screaming] More marshmallows
for your hot cocoa, Wobbles? SpongeBob, what are you doing?! Do you have any idea
how much it costs to make a prison humane? These down comforters,
they're two ply. This ain't no luxury hotel! These televisions ain't free! And neither are
these massage chairs! [crying] And this, your most expensive
mistake of all! From now on, no more patties
for prisoners! Cruel and unusual punishment! And no more tomatoes either! Come on, let's find
another prison to eat at. - What a rip-off!
- Come on. No, no! Come back! Come back! I can't afford to lose
me paying customers. Oh, I'm ruined! [sobbing] All right, that's it! No more prison! Everyone out! Don't care where you go,
but you can't stay here! Oh, finally.
The Krusty Krab is back to being a regular old
money-making restaurant. [giggles]
Problem solved. I said problem solved! Uh, Mr. Krabs,
what are you doing out here? Oh, you know, unwinding,
enjoying the free parking [creaking] Ew. What's happening
to your little critter there? I'm not sure,
but when he does that he finds change. Change? As in legal tender? Yeah. Watch. Shiver me shell wax. You're like
a little money detecting... Uh... [stammering]
What do you call it? Sneagle. - You mean snail.
- Say, SpongeBob. Why don't you bring
your little sneagle to work with ye? Because you said
that pets were nothing but disease carrying vermin
that should never be brought to the workplace. Oh, but that was before I knew they had such
an incredible talent. Yes, but for some reason
the whole process causes Gary great discomfort. I could never do that to him. I could. Meow. There you go,
bring in that change. [laughing] I've been working
on this one for months. [laughing] What's so funny, Mr. Krabs? Oh, hi, SpongeBob. Uh, oh, well- Say, uh, aren't you supposed
to be out back, scraping out the dumpster? Done and done. Get back there and swab
the poop deck, so to speak. Yes, sir! Hey, what are you doing
with my change? Your change? Anything on the floor
be fair game. Hey! [laughing] Looks like I need pockets
for me pockets. [grumbling] Hey, where's everybody going?
Wait! Come back! Ah, fine, go on [unintelligible] With me new money finder here
who needs ya?! [laughing] Huh?
Hey, where's my change? [laughing] Well, that stinks. [laughing] I bet he didn't see that coming. Hey, what's the big ide-er? [music playing] We just found the pot
at the end of the rainbow. Aieeeee! What the? [laughing] It's like taking candy
from a baby! And then it went whoo whoo
over there, and the coins just flew
from the machine. Uh, don't worry, sir.
We'll get to the bottom of this. Uh-oh. Pronto. Time for plan B! Thank you... for your money. - Huh?
- What? Come on, Harry, let's go. Come on, you. Mr. Krabs! For shame! What do you mean?
I'm just showing Rory off. Don't you lie to me! I know all about your using Gary
to steal money! I am doing nothing of the sort! Don't you have work
you should be doing? Oh, that's rich! No, if I was rich, I wouldn't have to hire
the likes of you! That's hurtful, Mr. Krabs,
and you know it. Why you little yella-
Well, I never. You never what?
Learned to use decent language? [screaming] [arguing] Who do you think you are? Jackpot! Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money! Come to papa! Oh, boy. [beeping] Yeah, he's in pretty bad shape
with the impact of all that metal,
but he'll pull through. Doctor, how does this sort
of thing happen? I think this might have had
something to do with it. Hey, my Mermaid Man
and Barnacle Boy fridge magnet. Yes. It appears
that your pet swallowed it. It has a very strong
magnetic pull 'Cause it's a magnet!
That's it, Mr. Krabs! [laughing] Mr. Squidward, why aren't these walking wallets
spending money? Because they're too busy
watching SpongeBob cook. What? [whistling] He's not exactly maxermerizing
his work time with them flourishes, but boy,
does that boy-o have talent. And talent equals money. [screaming] [vocalizing] [shattering] I have X-ray vision!
I can see through walls! Calm your waters, lad.
I just knocked it down. [jibbers]
Why'd you do that? In the restaurant business,
it's called an open kitchen so the customers can watch
the cook cook. Oh, Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I can take
that kind of pressure. Nonsense.
You're a born performer. Oh, what do I do? What do I do?
Huh? Oh! Uh. Uh. Hi, everybody! Who's hungry? I guess I am. Welcome, welcome to my job
in the kitchen of ChefBob! I cook and dance,
I wear square pants, cooking for this hungry mob! <i> ♪ Your order, please! ♪</i> [dinging] [cheering] The little ChefBob is
a sensation. Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Oh, I gotta hand it to ya! That new insult comedy act
is really bringing in the money. Ah, what's this, here? Sorry, Mr. Krabs.
It's a list of things ChefBob needs
for his dressing room. Oh-ho, does he?
"Fresh cut seaweed." "A manicurist
for SpongeBob's puppet hand?" What? "A bigger dressing room?" In the meantime, we'll just take over
your office, Blubber Boy. Blubber Boy?!
Oh. No way! What's the matter, Krabs?
You don't like money? What?... Of course I like money. The office will be ready
in five minutes. ChefBob, I think your insults
are mean and hurtful. What do you say we just go back to the Krabby Patty routines,
huh? Need I remind you
that my insults pay your salary? Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir. ChefBob, you stole my line! I do all the insults
around here! Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward.
You're absolutely right. Um, oh, well, uh, thank you. It's- it's- it's really not
such a big deal. Let me make it up to ya! Hi, everybody!
I'd like to introduce you to a very good friend of mine:
Squidward Tentacles! [cheering] Oh, no. Please, please,
you're to- you're too kind. I was gonna ask Squidward
how old he was, but then I remembered
he can't count that high! Huh? [laughing] Alright, that's it! You can't talk
to Squidward that way! He is one of my best friends! That's even more insulting. [groaning] [crying] Ow! Ah! Me customers! Alright, enough of this. ChefBob, you are hereby fired! Mr. Squidward,
will you do the honors? Let me help you slip
into something more comfortable. Like the gutter! [sighing] I learned
a very valuable lesson today. To always be yourself
and not hide behind a puppet? Well, yeah, that,
but mostly don't slam your puppet hand
in a register drawer. Mr. Krabs, what ya doing? Oh, hoy, SpongeBob. I was just using
some old toothpaste I found to patch up
this small hole in the wall. Good thing you didn't hire
a professional to do that. And why is that, Mr. Squidward? Because then you'd only get
to repair it once. So what flavor is it? It- It- It's just a hole
in the wall, boy. It doesn't have a flavor. No, I mean the toothpaste. Oh. Well, I think it- Hey, look, Mr. Krabs. That small hole in the wall
just became a medium sized hole in the wall. Time to get out
the dental floss. Heh. Thanks again for taking us
to the Krusty Krab, Dad. Yeah. Mom never brings us here. Anytime, kids. - What the-?
- Careful now. Hey, you guys put
in a drive thru. - We did?
- Great. I'll have three large
Krabby Patties, Krabby fries, a Krabby cola and two extra
large orders of Krabby rings. Is this toothpaste? Boy, I don't know how
I think of this stuff, but I think I got a winner.
We are putting in a drive thru. [gasping] Sounds like
a lot of extra work to me. You mean for you. It'll cost you money. Oh, nonsense.
We'll build it for free! Now I'll be able
to get a Krabby Patty the simplest way possible,
by ordering one. [laughing] [clearing throat]
I would like to order one Krabby Patty, please.
Uh, extra secret formula. Hello?!
Is this stupid thing on?! Mr. Squidward! Any customers? None that I can hear. Oh! Here comes one now! Hey. Hey! Go around! Go around! [screaming] Large Krabby Patty<i>
with fries please</i> . With fries. Got it. We'll have that right out
to you, sir. What? You're closed?!
Now she tells me... There you are sir.
The ketchup's in the b- What? Did somebody order
a Krabby Patty? Nobody, huh? Okay,
I'll just toss it in the trash. [honking] Okay, who had
the double Krabby Patty with fries and extra chee- [yelling] SpongeBob! Order up! I'm on it! Hurry, SpongeBob!
I got 26 more orders! [grunting] 26 orders up! No, no, no!
Not that window! The other one! Squidward, are you sure?! These customers over here look
really, really hungry! Come on! And these ones don't?! [honking] Hey, hey, hey, watch it,
will ya?! I just had this thing repainted! And I just had this repainted! I see you used
the extra-glossy. Chum nuggets here! Going fast!
Get 'em while they're cold! Get 'em while they're runny! Looks like Krabs' drive thru
is really paying off... for me! [laughing] Oh, no... not again.
[screaming] Oh, darn it! Now there's a line! Watch where you're going,
old man! This is the second time! I'm too old to wait in lines! Chum Nuggets...
get 'em before... my arm falls off. [gasping]
They're everywhere! Mr. Krabs! Stay back!
Take Squidward, not me! Oh. Hi, Squidward. Mr. Krabs!
We gotta do something! The customers are mad
with hunger! They're beginning to riot! For once, he's right! Easy, boys! Easy! Don't you think
you're both getting a little carried away? I mean,
I hardly call this a riot! Right?
[laughing] Like- Oh... kay... Don't worry! I can solve this! More drive thrus! More money! [screaming] [cracking] Hey?
Is somebody eating potato chips? Don't worry, Mr. Krabs!
We can fix it! We might need to buy
some more toothpaste, though. [sobbing] When art get older,
it usually gets more expensive. Squidward's paintings might be
worth millions someday. Millions?!
Out of me way! Here! Gimme! Give it here!
This is mine now! Okay, Mr. Krabs! [laughing] Now,
all I need to do is sit back and watch me art grow
more valuable. [laughing] I am a very important
art appraiser and I say this so-called art
will never be worth a penny. Hey, Eugene H. Krabs does not-
[shrieking, gasping] lose money. There must be something I can do to make this art worth
lots more cash! Hmm... I sold all my art? This tiny handful
of coins has legitimized me! Who wants the autograph
of a real artiste? [growling] [screaming] Well, paintings can become
much more valuable when the artist is no longer
with us. You know. Out of the picture. Out of the picture, eh?
I think I can arrange that. 237 Rock-Bottom.
Oh, there it is. Oh, remember, Squidward, real artists embrace
the unknown. Uh, is anyone here? I've got a delivery
from the Krusty... Krab! [screaming] What are we screaming about? Monsters! Oh, they're not monsters,
Squidward. They're my friends. What's... up... SpongeBob? Ha. Yes, I'm sure that Mr. Squidward
is out of the picture for good. He will be missed.
So, come on over and tell old Krabs
how much money me paintings are worth.
[laughing] [laughing] Ha, ha, ha, he-he, ha.
[sobbing, growling] Squidward, delivery! Ha, this tickles.
[giggles] Follow me, Mr. Squidward. I've got a special
delivery vehicle just for a great artist
like yourself. Well, that's more like it.
Finally, some respect. Into the rocket ya go! Wait! Why do I need a rocket?
Where is this delivery to? Mars. Oh, Mars.
Well, the...M━M━M━M━M━Mars?! Bye, Squidward! [screaming] Well, that was disgusting. So, who wants to talk
about my use of color and brush stroke? [clearing throat]
Hmph! I have done everything I could
to get you away from here safely and now you're messing
with me money! [screaming]
- Run, Squidward, run! Hey!
How about a little support here? Run, Mr. Krabs, run! [screaming] But a little slower
than Squidward. Come on, Squidward! Destroy those paintings
before Mr. Krabs gets back! I... I can't do it!
They're just too magnificent! Hey, hey, hey!
Get away from me paintings! Oh, I'm sorry, paintings,
but it's you or me! Yes, yes! Now, this is true art! Wh- Really? So visceral! So dangerous! Yes, feel my art! Leave me paintings alone,
you monster! No! That was the most accelerating
performance art I have ever seen! Really?
So, it must be worth millions! Hey, out of me way! [laughing] Whoo, boy! Hee, hee! So, how much ya gonna give me
for all this? Ha, ha. Nothing! Performance art is
about the moment. You can not put a price on it. What? Wait, come back here,
you double-crossin'- D'oh! D'oh! Mr. Krabs! Squidward! [grunting] Ah-ha. And that is how I acquired
this masterpiece. [indistinct chattering] I'm an artist. I'm rich. And I helped.
[laughing] Another day, another dollar. Gee, I wonder
what Mr. Krabs has been up to since I saw him last and
then went home to do nothing of particular interest
till this very moment. Huh? [hammering] SpongeBob! You're just in time for the grand unveiling
of Krabby Land! Krabby Land, sir? Yes, Krabby Land! Where a kid can have fun...
for the right price. [laughing] Welcome to the Krusty Krab,
young man. What's your name? - Monroe.
- Nice to meet you, Monroe. [laughing]
- Whee! Mmm... a-ha!
[change rattling] Okay, money.
I mean, err... children. It's time
for the grand unveiling of... money! I mean, Krabby Land! [cheering] Okay, kids,
now promise Uncle Krabs that if you get hungry
while you're playing, you'll come inside for some delicious,
nutritious Krabby Patties. We promise. All right, here we go! I give you... Krabby Land! Yeah! Whoa!
Ooh, where am I? Eh... that reminds me.
I forgot to give you these coloring books/
liability waivers! Everyone who hands theirs back
gets to meet the one and only Krabby the Clown! Yay! Have fun. And don't forget
to eat plenty of vitamin-enriched
Krabby Patties. Krabby the Clown's
favorite meal. We want Krabby! We want Krabby! Where is Krabby, Mr. Krabs? He'll be here
after I count their money. Just stall 'em. Stall 'em? How do I do that? I don't know. Be entertaining. Ugh. Mr. Krabs? I can't take much more
of this stalling stuff. Always thinking about yourself. Get out there and stall! What happened
to your arms and legs, boy? The kids are using them
as... boomerangs. Boomerangs? Oh no!
They might break my windows! What are we gonna do? Well, now
that all their money's counted, tell them Krabby
has just arrived! Really? He's here? Oh, boy!
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Get out there and tell 'em! [yelling] Listen, everybody! Krabby the Clown is
in the building! Yay! Who do you want?! Krabby! When do you want him?! Now! Krabby! Krabby! Krabby! Krabby!
Hooray! Hey, kids! Are you ready to meet
Krabby the Clown? Yay! All right, here you go! Hey, kids!
Uh, thank you all for coming! Thank you.
Eat plenty of Krabby Patties! [laughing] Do do de doodly doo
do do de do. Ah, Krabs, you've done it again! I'll say you have. SpongeBob? How could you, Mr. Krabs? You promised these children
Krabby the Clown, but all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate! Hey, I ain't cheap! Now take this tomato back
to the kitchen before it spoils. But what about
the true meaning of summer? What about the children? The children?
I don't care about the children! I just care
about their parents' money. Ah, the fact
that their feeble minds are easily manipulated
by cheap playgrounds and talentless clowns is
no skin off my nose! Survival of the fittest,
SpongeBob! Survival of the fittest.
[chuckles] - Ahem.
- Huh? Oh, hey kids. Uh... Uncle Krabs has to go
to the bank now. Heh. Get him! [sighing] I suppose I'll never know
the true meaning of summer. I thought I knew it once, but that was a long,
long time ago. You mean this morning? Yeah. [yelling] Come on outside,
Mr. SquarePants. It's a summer miracle! Yay! Hooray! Wow, thousands of dollars
fluttering in the breeze. I guess that's
the true meaning of summer. Hooray! Open for business.
See anything you like? Yeah, I'll give you
a buck-50 for this umbrella. A buck-50 for that?
But it's an antique! It belonged to a queen.
Ten bucks. Ten bucks? It's full of holes! It was the queen
of Switzerland. A queen you say?
That's... Wait a second... they don't have a queen. Okay, Mr. Bargain Hunter,
five bucks. Deal! Ah, the sweet smell
of an all-day sucker. [slurping] They taste even better.
Hi, Mr. Krabs. What ya doing? I'm having an antique sale.
Have a look around. Hey, Patrick,
look at this thing. Pretty cool, huh? That looks like
the toilet plunger I threw out yesterday. That ain't no toilet plunger.
This here's an antique! It's, um... uh...
a 17th-century soup ladle, see? Man, was I using mine wrong.
How much? Five bucks. - I only have seven.
- Deal. Patrick Star,
you are one smart shopper. Wow! Look at this neat-o
soda-drinking hat. [gasping] It must've belonged
to someone who was number one. There's only been
a handful of number ones in the history of forever. That's right, SpongeBob,
and you're one of 'em. Really? This hat says,
"Hey, I'm number one, and I let gravity do
my drinking." This hat was made for you, boy.
You were born to wear this hat. Eeh.... ooh...! Excuse me, sir, but are you the purveyor
of this curio stand? Yes, I am. I understand you're selling
this rare novelty drink hat. Fresh out. Let me explain. I'm prepared to give you $500
for that drink hat. Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-... Not so fast. I'll give you $1000
for such a hat. [stammering] I'll give you $100,000,
in cash, for said hat. Sir, I'll give you
a million dollars for that hat! SpongeBob! I am the ghost
of soda drink hats. And I'm here to tell you that that soda-drinking hat
you possess is cursed. Cursed? Yes. It belonged to some guy
who's dead now. What guy? Uh... Smitty something. Smitty what? Uh... Smitty Werben...
Jaegerman... Jensen. He must've been number one. Number one in Bogeyland! Now, listen,
a curse will descend on you unless the hat is returned
to its owner immediately. Immediately? Immediately. To it's owner? Yes. Right now? Yes, yes! It must be returned
to its owner, right now. - Hey, Mr. Krabs.
- Ahh! SpongeBob! Er, uh, what are you doing here? Oh, I was just returning
the cursed soda-drink hat to its original owner:
Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen. What?! There is no
Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen! Sure there is. He's buried
out in Floater's Cemetery. How did? I just... You did...
I did... Gimme that shovel. It was hit hat, Mr Krabs!
He was number one! (gasping]
It's beautiful. Come to papa. Hey, come on, Smitty, let go! Rest in pieces, Smitty. I got the million dollar hat. (thundering] Hey, man, that's my hat.
Give it back. What? No way. Just crawl back
into your hole, bone boy. Go ahead, play dead. I guess I'm gonna have
to take it from you. Yeah, right. You and what army? [moaning] Only the army
of the living dead. [screaming] Wa-ha! A million dollars.
I've got a million dollars! [overlapping chatter] Oh, there you are.
Well, I got it. The rare novelty
soda-drinking hat. Let's start the bidding
at one million dollars. [laughing] Yeah, you want that all at once? One million dollars.
You gotta be kidding! [laughing] Hey! The poor sap's not kidding.
Didn't you hear? They found a whole warehouse
full of them. They're worthless. [laughing] Let's give Mr Krabs a big hand. [laughing] <i> This week I reviewed
the Krusty Krab restaurant,</i> <i> a local burger joint
that's second to none.</i> <i> Or should I say second to "run"</i> <i> since this critic wanted
to make like a banana</i> <i> and peel out the minute he saw
how drab this Krab really was.</i> <i> That bad, huh, Gene?</i> <i> Barbara, once I stuck
my beak through that door,</i> <i> my appetite flew south
for the winter.</i> <i> I mean, I'm not "kidding"</i> <i> when I say
this restaurant smells</i> <i> like the rear-end of a goat.</i> <i> And how was the service, Gene?</i> <i> You could find livelier help
in a graveyard</i> <i> and I'm not just "coffin."</i> <i> The management stunk so bad,</i> <i> I had to get my sweater
dry cleaned on the way home</i> <i> with me in it.</i> Hey, no, wait, wait! <i> However, at the end of my visi,</i> <i> I chowed down on a meal
that titillated my taste buds</i> <i> and gratified my gullet.</i> <i> That Sponge behind the grill is
no square</i> <i> when it comes to cooking!</i> <i> If Krabs really wanted
to soak up the dough,</i> <i> he'd Sponge it up.
He'd Sponge it out,</i> <i> he'd over-Sponge it.</i> <i> You can never have
too much Sponge.</i> Well back to work. [laughing]
That's me boy, SpongeBob. That's me boy. [chinging] La, la, la, la, la, la! Wow. Okay, a little lower,
lower... that's perfect. Good morning, sir.
What's with the sign? Oh, just making
a few cosmetic changes. Oh. You mean like when Squidward
got that mole taken of his- Umm... yeah,
a little bit like that. Morning, Squidward. Ooh! Squidward,
where did you find those shoes? [squeaking, hissing] Look, it's him! Mr. SquarePants,
can I have your autograph? - No.
- But, why? Well, the first reason is,
I have no use of my arms, see? Ow! Hey, what's going on over here? He hit me just 'cause I wanted
his autograph. Squidward!
I'm sorry, little girl. Of course you can have
his autograph... for five bucks. What a rip. Step right up, folks! Take a ride
on the Krusty Sponge Fun Train. Tickets are only $1.98.
Seat belts not included. [cheering] Okay,
how am I going do this now? Mommy, is that you? [panting] Mr. Krabs, I really think
I should be getting back to the grill, now. Are you kidding, lad? Just look
at these paying customers! Who's ready for another lap? [cheering] [grunting] Whoops.
[whistling] - There you go, Squidward.
- Now what? Oh, you're gonna love this.
Spongy Patties. Spongy patties? Yeah. I want you to start using
'em instead of the other ones. - Where'd you get them?
- They were just the boxes of patties we didn't have room
for in the freezer. They turned yellow. Gotta keep those SpongeBob
ice cubes somewhere, you know. You mean to tell me
you actually expect people to pay $1.98
for a rotten patty? Squidward, you're right! All this instant success
must be scrambling my brains! We'll make 'em $2.98! [panting]
All aboard. Hey, we didn't paid $3.00
just to watch you take a nap. That's the worst SpongeBob
costume I've ever seen. Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride!
Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride!
Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Ride! Oh, what a day.
What's next? A zombie invasion? [screaming] [moaning] Mr. Krabs, open up! We're being attacked by a bunch
of zombies that look like me! Uh, go away, please, I'm busy. Please, you don't understand! They're all splotchy and yellow
with distended bellies. [screaming] Open up!
Open up! Open up! Open up! Who? Mr. Krabs? SpongeBob. Great Neptune's
mother's stockings! Zombies...
they're here to eat me money! Wait!
They're not zombies, Mr. Krabs. They're your customers... Look! Ohh... I ate
this yellow Krabby Patty and now I feel sick. Krabby Patty? Man, you've got
some serious problems. If you're trying
to pass that off as a Krabby Patty... It's a...
it's a Spongy Patty. Mr. Krabs, what have you done?! You poisoned all these people! No! But... I just-just...
I can explain, I... - What the-?
- Tell it to the judge, Krabs.
