- [DJ D-Wrek] Things old people say. - Thanks god I married Nick Cannon. - Oh!
- Oh! (audience oohs)
(digital beep) (audience cheers)
- You mother (beep)! ♪ Woo ♪
(upbeat hip hop music) ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ - Okay, here we go, you
don't pissed Droppa off. Okay, I want acapella,
cut the beat for me. - Stop the beat!
- Yeah! - Stop the beat for me. I want acapella 'cause I'm real, okay?
(audience laughs) Nick Cannon, when I come here, I get mad. Looking at your face is like
looking at a dirty plastic bag. (audience oohs)
I hate your lip, I hate your face. What you doing in this
world is almost a disgrace. (yells) Mariah Carey should be with me! (audience laughs)
(audience applause) I love Mariah! I love Mariah! I want Mariah! ♪ Wild Out ♪ (upbeat hip hop music) ♪ Hold up, girl ♪ ♪ Wait a minute ♪ ♪ You know how this works ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ If you want to meet ASAP Rocky tonight ♪ ♪ You got to do me first ♪ (audience cheers) - Body guard.
(bell dings) - That's what I'm saying. ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ Oh, (beep), boo hoo ♪ ♪ The last raps you kicked ♪ ♪ They was doo doo ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ I got more views than you on YouTube ♪ ♪ Plus, I hear Mariah made
more money than you do ♪ (audience oohs)
- She does! (bell dings)
- Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. ♪ Yo, yeah I'm Jewish,
get my Hanukkah on ♪ ♪ So let me beat you with a
mother (beep) yarmulke on ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers)
(mellow hip hop music) ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, come on, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hey yo, E, how you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ He stole everything I
had, that's my cousin man ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Hey yo, Tim ♪ ♪ How you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ He hit my chick, put a
muffin in her oven, man ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ DeRay ♪ ♪ How you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ I'm scared, so I ain't
saying nothing, man ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Hey yo, Nick ♪ ♪ How you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Man, that mother (beep)
owe me 'bout 35 grand ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ ♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ ♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ ♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ (audience cheers)
♪ Where he at ♪ ♪ Point him out ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Do you know the muffin man ♪ ♪ Hell yeah, everybody
know the muffin man ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - My man, Nick Cannon is so fly. - [Audience] How fly is he? - He got Mariah pregnant
once, and had two babies. - Damn right! Damn right!
(bell dings) (audience cheers) Damn right! (audience laughs) True story.
(audience laughs) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - I tried to several my secret weapon. - Yeah!
(record scratches) - Next up, Conceited.
(air horns blow) - Nick, when you was rapping,
I was snatching at my ears. The only reason you relevant is because Mariah carries your career. - Oh!
(audience grumbles) (bell dings)
- That'll do it. - I mean, he went from rapping to acting, of course the people gonna doubt him. You did Love Don't Cost a Thing,
and neither did you album. (audience oohs)
(audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (bass heavy hip hop music)
(audience applause) (man laughs)
- Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Miss Luck. (audience cheers) - Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for Real Life in here.
(bell dings) (audience laughs)
- Everybody, it is our Wild 'N Out girl's mama! (audience cheers)
- Wait, hold up, hold up, whoa, whoa. You know you ain't got to do this, right? (audience laughs) Let me get you out this environment. (audience cheers)
♪ Wild Out ♪ - Uh oh, Jacob. (laughs) ♪ Hey Nick, I saw your
last special of comedy ♪ ♪ And I have a question ♪ ♪ How expensive was it to
edit all the laughs in ♪ (audience oohs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) (audience applause) ♪ Jacob, Jacob, you brand new,
so we don't even know stuff ♪ ♪ Only thing that we assume is
that you road on a short bus ♪ (bell dings)
(audience laughs) ♪ Being married to Mariah,
that's a lot of clout ♪ ♪ But do you ever get lonely
when she puts you in timeout ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dinging) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (Black Squad oohs)
(audience cheers) - I'm 2 Chainz.
(bell dings) (audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience cheers) (Charlamagne sighs)
- Life in prison, man. - Hey man, I'm not gay
neither, but we got life, dog. - What that mouth do, though?
(audience laughs) (bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - I hope this done prohibit me from being in any future
movies with you, Kevin, but bring it on up.
(audience laughs) ♪ Congratulations on your success ♪ ♪ I want to see you prevail ♪ ♪ But you only at the top of comedy ♪ ♪ 'Cause Katt Williams is in jail ♪ (audience grumbles) (Teams grumble)
(audience applause) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Alright, your next
answer is also defined as a complete fantasy.
- Ooh. (buzzer beeps)
- Nick Cannon going platinum! (audience cheers) - But that's the captain, man! That's the captain!
(audience applause) - Go around the back.
(buzzer beeps) - Chico being on this show again. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience applause) (buzzer beeps)
- (beep). - That's alright, Nick,
Joe Budden going platinum. - Yeah!
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience grumbles) (buzzer beeps) - Me visiting the baby I
made last year in New York. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ Set this cup down for battling Nick ♪ ♪ I'm folding him ♪ ♪ I ain't losing to a guy
that came from Nickelodeon ♪ (audience grumbles)
(bell dings) ♪ If each punchline is a bullet ♪ ♪ I'm shooting them all ♪ ♪ You dead, he dead, he dead ♪ ♪ Man, face it ♪ ♪ This team is like the
cable in my crib, basic ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) (rhythmic hip hop music) Hold up hold up hold up, hold up. ♪ Uh, and I know you all hate it ♪ ♪ Yeah y'all comedians who never made it ♪ (audience grumbles)
(bell dings) D-Wrek, D-Wrek, cut the beat, man, cut the beat, cut the beat. Alright, check it out, check it out. We got David Banner, we got Bruce Lee, but while I got the mic,
allow me to introduce y'all to Napoleon Dynamite. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) Lace up, man, Black Team! ♪ Wild Out ♪ - [DJ D-Wrek] Mariah Carey. (audience laughs)
- I guess this one would be me, huh?
- Who else gonna do it? (audience cheers) - Mariah Mother (beep) Carey. (audience woos) I got to get some (beep)
off my chest, alright? How dare you marry me and upgrade my life? (audience laughs)
How you just gonna marry me and whisk me and my
family down to the Bahamas for an amazing wedding, huh? I'm just saying. And then, when we was at the wedding, you just, just went all out. I'm just saying, just
gonna come out there, have the most beautiful reception, then you gonna come
out with the microphone and start singing live
and hitting high notes? You could've lip sync that
(beep) like Beyonce did at the inauguration!
(audience cheers) (bell dinging) - Mariah Carey, what? It's okay, Nick! (audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Come on up here, Chico. We gonna start it off like this. ♪ Uh, uh, your Instagram be lying ♪ ♪ You ain't really fine ♪ ♪ When I finally met you in person ♪ ♪ I wish that I was blind ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Look girl, you making me my maddest ♪ ♪ When I looked at all your pictures ♪ ♪ And they do not match your status ♪ ♪ Talking 'bout you look good ♪ ♪ Girl, I wish you could ♪ ♪ Do not message me again ♪ ♪ Ooh, girl I wish you would ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Give it up, stop trying ♪ ♪ Your Instagram be lying ♪ ♪ When you instant message me ♪ ♪ I instantly get offline ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ 'Cause your Instagram be lying ♪ ♪ You ain't really fine, no, no, no ♪ ♪ When I finally met you
in person, ooh yeah ♪ ♪ I wish that I was blind ♪ ♪ Now, Stevie Wonder with it ♪ ♪ Now, Stevie Wonder with it ♪ ♪ Now, Stevie Wonder with it ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Now, Stevie Wonder with it ♪
(bell dinging) ♪ Now, Stevie Wonder with it ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - My man, Nick Cannon, is so fly. - [Audience] How fly is he? - He gets Mariah's menstrual
cycle to call before it come. (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - Oh, (beep)!
- Just so I know. I didn't know where she
was going with that. ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Hey yo, Rasika, you know
I get it crazy forever. You look like Kumar and
Mr. Ed had a baby together. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Lous, when will you cats really learn? This (beep) beard look like
Katt Williams permanent. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (audience applause)
- Man up! - Chico, you know I'm the one for real. You the one I kill. This ain't Fresh Prince, why
am I battling Uncle Phil? (audience laughs)
(audience grumbles) (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - Yeah, yeah!
(all laugh) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - [DJ D-Wrek] Alright, Hansel and Gretel in the witch's house.
- Okay. (laughs) - This about to be sexy,
I'm sitting up here. (Mac laughs)
(audience laughs) - Hansel. - Yes, Gretel?
- The witch, she's putting us in the oven now. - Oh, no! - No!
- No! - Uh oh.
- Oh! (women moaning) Now, it's getting hot in here. - So take off all your clothes. (audience laughs) - I will only do it,
sister, if you do it, too, so I am not uncomfortable. - Okay, brother.
- Okay. (audience laughs)
- Oh, to be German. - Oh! (all cheer) - I feel alive!
- I loved it! (all applaud)
This is mine! ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Let's talk about Kevin's whips. He got the Maclaren, the Ferrari,
the G Wagon, and the Six. - What?
- But he can't drive none of them (beep) without this! (audience cheers)
(bell dinging) Sit your ass it in! (audience cheers) - It's okay, do you want
sit in your car seat? You want to sit in here? Sit right in here, sweetie.
- Have a seat. (audience cheers) Platinum Squad, that's how we do! All y'all yo loaders, clearly we won! ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Seeing this on your wedding
day is considered back luck. (buzzer beeps)
- Who is Christina Milian? - Oh!
(audience oohs) (bell dings)
(audience laughs) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Hey Jacob, hey Jacob,
it's a white boy battle! (audience cheers)
D-Wrek, stop the beat! (record scratches)
Drop a white boy beat, we getting white up in here.
(audience laughs) (playful high pitched music)
White boy beat. (audience laughs)
♪ I'm gonna get you ♪ ♪ You know that I would ♪ ♪ My credit score's awesome ♪ ♪ Yours is just really good ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) ♪ Look man, you got me,
I'm really tore up ♪ ♪ But my stock portfolio
is about to blow up ♪ (audience laughs)
- Oh! - Oh, one more. ♪ I watch smart shows on PBS ♪ ♪ Your Lexus doesn't even have a GPS ♪ (audience oohs)
(bell dings) ♪ You're a real smarty ♪ ♪ But guess what ♪ ♪ You're not longer invited
to my birthday party ♪ (audience laughs)
- Hey! (bell dinging) - White boys going in!
(audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ I'm the baker man and I
got a booty collection ♪ ♪ But when it come to patty,
she the best of my selection ♪ ♪ She got cakes so big that they
don't fit inside your hand ♪ ♪ And if you was a man, you'd
(beep) her fast as you can ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Miss Patty got the cake, oh ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake ♪
♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ They call me Miss Patty
because I got that cake ♪ ♪ And boys give me money just
to shake it in they face ♪ ♪ I shake it in their face
with so much style and grace ♪ ♪ Make 'em scream so loud they
get evicted from their place ♪ ♪ Uh huh ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Miss Patty got the cake,
cake, cake, cake, cake ♪ ♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ Who, Miss Patty ♪ ♪ Player remix ♪ (audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - When I get the mic,
y'all know I'm flowing hot. I should piss in his dreads so y'all can call him Goldilocks. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Now, this is the truth, you hate it, why the hell everything you
like got to be food related? (audience laughs) Why don't you just sit
here and tell the public, his favorite basketball
team is the Denver Nuggets. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) Now, that's what I do,
I'm killing 'em in here. This (beep) feminine, he's scared, he's horrified of vending machines 'cause he heard Eminem's in there. (audience oohs)
- Oh, oh! (bell dinging)
Oh! (audience cheers) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience cheers)
(upbeat house music) - I told y'all we was gonna
have Trinidad James here today. (all laugh)
(bell dings) - (laughing) I can't, I can't, I can't! - She dressed like she been
making biscuits all morning. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ Right, check this, look ♪ ♪ Nick could get it for free ♪ ♪ This ain't even for the money ♪ ♪ I have his whole team on tilt ♪ ♪ Like your Gumby ♪
(audience oohs) (bell dings)
♪ Uh ♪ ♪ Sell the jokes, just retire that ♪ ♪ I put a whole different
cannon on Mariah back ♪ (audience oohs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers)
- Alright! Hold on, dammit, that's my wife! (audience laughs) Alright, you on the Mariah jokes, okay. - How you gonna call them back?
- Alright, yo, yo. ♪ I got the game on lock
like it's in a slip knot ♪ ♪ (beep), we all see you
crying on Love & Hip Hop ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience applause) - What that mouth do, though? (audience laughs)
(bell dings) - [Nick] There it is. ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Being Nick Cannon.
- Oh! (audience cheers) - Yo (laughs), who the hell
wants to be Nick Cannon? (audience laughs)
Like, why would I want to marry Mariah Carey, and
sleep on some soft silk sheets that smell like roses,
and feel Mariah's hair, (laughs) oh, my god.
(audience laughs) (laughs) Why do I want
to make so much money, and literally get a check from everybody? Why do I love white girls?
(audience laughs) I don't know! Who wants hair that's not really hair, but it's a Gumby, but nobody
wears it, I don't know. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ ♪ (beep) Lauren, you a ugly
white girl I never hit on ♪ ♪ She look like a teenage
boy with a dirty wig on ♪ (audience grumbles)
♪ I know that thing stank ♪ ♪ I got dirty (beep) vision ♪ ♪ Smell like cigarettes,
chlamydia, and horrible decisions ♪ (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - Hold on, hold on, okay, I respect that! But here's what I have to say to that. ♪ Yo, let me tell you something ♪ ♪ It's sad but true ♪ ♪ DoBoy, you're so fat, diabetes has you ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) True! ♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience applause) (audience laughs) (chair slams)
(actress laughs) - What's up, girl? Hey, you know I'm the
hardest dude out here, right? (audience laughs) And I need a chick like
you to hold me down. A gangster like myself, I need
somebody like you to hold, and you the only one for me.
- Uh, Chico? (audience laughs)
(audience cheers) (bell dinging) ♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience cheers)
- Okay, fine Nick Cannon, go ahead.
- We gonna do it like this. - He's so smart.
- I'm a fan of yours, dog, and you really quite dapper. But don't make me have to
smash another white rapper. (audience oohs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers)
- Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
on, hold on, hold on. You could talk all your (beep),
man, I ain't gonna stop you. I don't got to say anything,
Eminem already got you. (audience oohs)
(bell dings) (audience cheers) (bell dinging) (bell dinging) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Okay, your next hashtag
is things you say in prison. - Oh! (audience applause) - I'm throwing it back
to make you hurry up. (audience laughs)
(bell dings) (all laugh) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Give it up for Kevin,
and the Hart Beats. (audience cheers)
(smooth R&B music) It kills me sometimes a
woman can gain this weight and think that it's not a consequence. (audience laughs) I just don't like the spillage. (audience laughs) I want to talk about muffin tops. ♪ Muffin tops, muffin tops,
muffin tops, muffin tops ♪ ♪ Here we go, here we go ♪ ♪ You're eating more, woo ♪ ♪ Doritos, hey ♪ ♪ And Cheetos, hey ♪ ♪ Your belly hanging over your belt ♪ ♪ Belly big ♪ ♪ (beep) small ♪ ♪ Your stomach looks ♪ ♪ Like a yoga ball ♪ ♪ She got rolls all in here neck, what ♪ ♪ Rolls all in her side, who ♪ ♪ She tried to get on top, what ♪ ♪ I suffocated and died, let's go ♪ ♪ She stay looking pregnant when she not ♪ ♪ But she's not, muffin top ♪ ♪ She got a top belly, hey hey ♪ ♪ A middle belly, hey hey ♪ ♪ A bottom belly, hey hey ♪ ♪ And that (beep) is heavy ♪
- I don't got that much. ♪ Muffin top ♪
♪ I said she's super sized ♪ - That's a lot of belly.
♪ Hella swole, hey ♪ ♪ And she stay in the snack
aisle of the grocery store ♪ ♪ Let's go ♪ ♪ Muffin top, she's got that muffin top ♪ ♪ Lift that shirt up
and her stomach drop ♪ ♪ Don't you worry baby ♪ ♪ 'Cause you know ♪ ♪ We can Photoshop ♪ (audience cheers)
(bell dings) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Woo!
♪ At the end of the day ♪ ♪ We really don't give a damn ♪ ♪ We did this whole show ♪ ♪ Just to post that bitch on Instagram ♪ Come on.
- Hey! (bell dings)
(audience cheers) - We need you in there,
too, so they could know this is really Wild 'N Out.
(audience laughs) (group chatters)
Back up, back up. (bell dings) (audience laughs) ♪ Wild Out ♪ - Hey yo, Chico (bouncy hip hop music) ♪ I said, Chico B, you must be a fool ♪ ♪ You don't want to battle me
like they did the old school ♪ ♪ You must be out of your got dang mind ♪ ♪ I'ma Sucker MC but it okay ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ I said hold on, stop the beat ♪ ♪ Because Chico, I'm what you can't beat ♪ ♪ You a Sucker MC, and I'm so cool ♪ ♪ I just made you look
like a straight fool ♪ (audience oohs)
(bell dings) ♪ You crazy, homes ♪ ♪ I dissed myself 'cause
you can't go to your home ♪ ♪ 'Cause you live with yo mama ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ That's okay ♪
(audience laughs) ♪ It's my mama's crib ♪ ♪ At least I got a cool place I can live ♪ ♪ My daddy coming back
when he get out of jail ♪ ♪ And me and him gonna run the
streets and raise some hell ♪ (bell dings)
♪ You think your daddy ♪ ♪ Is really your pop ♪ ♪ But I got some bad news ♪ ♪ I'm really your pop ♪
(audience oohs) ♪ I stroked your mom in
the back of the club ♪ ♪ And every time I see her ♪ ♪ She asks me for a hug ♪
(bell dings) (audience laughs)
♪ I'm on the Black Team ♪ ♪ I'm wearing a bandana ♪ ♪ Say something else about my daddy ♪ ♪ I'ma tell French Montana ♪
(audience oohs) (audience laughs)
- Ooh! (bouncy hip hop music) - Tell him what you said! Tell him what you said!
♪ Hold on, wait a second ♪ ♪ I don't got no patience for Sucker MCs ♪ ♪ You think you can
beat a team like these ♪ ♪ With these suckers ♪ ♪ You crazy ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ I'ma say one thing ♪ ♪ I don't mean to be rude ♪ ♪ But who was that girl
that looks like a dude ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ She came here with you ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ I don't care what you say ♪ ♪ Everybody knows ♪ ♪ I'm on this show so
I'm getting some (beep) ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ You sharing with me ♪ ♪ Share 'em with me ♪ (audience laughs)
(bell dings) ♪ Okay, cool, but let's keep rapping ♪ ♪ Aw yeah, okay now ♪
♪ Oh, you Sucker MC ♪ ♪ Turn up, we done turn up ♪
(audience cheers) ♪ Come on, turn up, we done turn up ♪ (bell dinging)
♪ I said turn up ♪ ♪ We done turn up ♪ ♪ Turn up, we done turn up ♪
- This that real hip hop right there.
♪ Turn up ♪ - That was real hip hop.
(audience applause) - Man, we brought old
school back, that's right. (audience cheers)
♪ Wild Out ♪ (audience cheers)
- Yeah Nick. - The captain.
- Bring it home, Nick. - Bring it home.
- Oh, yeah. (audience chuckles)
- Bring it home, Nick. - What's happening, baby girl? - (shrieks) Oh, my god!
(audience cheers) - I will shut all this (beep) down, okay? (audience laughs) I will shut all this (beep) down. - I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But we'll be right back
with more Wild 'N Out. (bell dings)
- And Nick, by the way-- (audience cheers) (upbeat hip hop music) ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Hey ♪
