Okay, kids, steady as she goes. [grunting] Lola, you are not in a parade!
Get down here and help us push! Mom, this is the third time Vanzilla's broken down
this week. Don't you think it might be time
for a new car? I would love a new car, guys. It's your dad
who won't go for it. Vanzilla was his father's van
and his grandfather's. Someday he hopes
to pass it on to you, Lincoln. [laughing] [grunting] Thanks for the assist, kids.
Uh, after dinner, I'll need a push
to ceramics class. [groaning] There's gotta be some way we can convince Dad
to get a new car. You heard Mom. All our arguments
are just going to stall. [laughing]
Get it? Unless we try
the subliminal approach. [everyone]
Mm-hmm. Wait! Where's Lola? I got knocked off
by a tree branch three blocks back!
Thanks for noticing! Let's see,
works taking care of, Mr. Grouse is keeping an eye
on the house, Clyde and the McBrides
are taking care of Walt, Geo,
Charles, and Cliff. <i> ♪ Just a few more things and
We'll all be relaxing in the--♪</i> [overlapping chatter] ...go horseback riding. Why are you bringing that
on vacation? You have your sun block,
I have mine. Whoa, guys,
this is too much stuff! Something's got to go back! How 'bout this humungo bag? Absolutely not!
That one's very important! - Puzzles?
- The bag stays! - Mine!
- Mine too! [whistling] Enough!
Stand back and let me work. How did you do that? Quite simple, really.
I merely used a formula combining elements
of spatial analysis, and the basic physics theorem
stating that for every object- Don't ask
if you don't really wanna know. Sorry kiddo,
we should get a move-on. According to the reviews, the hotel has
a very strict check-in policy. If we're not there by eight,
they could give away our rooms! Wait!
[whistling] [croaking] [croaking] Okay, here we go.
Loud vacation time! Can I get a 'What what?' - What--
- Wait! I forgot Lily's diapers! Turns out I also forgot Lily. Poo-poo! <i> ♪ We're going on vacation!
We're going on vacation! ♪</i> Hey, Dad, want to hear
some knock knock jokes? Does Cliff poop in my shoes?
Heck, yes, I do. Ah, here we go. [laughing] Okay, here's another one. - Knock knock.
- Who's there? - Europe.
- Europe who? [chuckles]
No, you're a poo. [laughing] I can't drive.
[laughing] [clattering] Behold...
Dang it, the door's stuck. Everyone just crawl under. Ding dang door ruining
my reveal. [grunting] So, where's the time machine? You're looking at it. You built a time machine out
of Vanzilla in seven minutes? Well, it's not like it was hard. All I needed was
an alkaline coated crankshaft and some plutonium.
Mm-hmm. [gasping] You even had time to get a tux? Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a wedding to attend. <i> Good luck, my friend.</i> <i> And farewell to you,
mundane toaster.</i> [beeping] All systems go. Is it just me, or did that van appear
out of thin air? [sighing]
Another scientific success without a hiccup. What was that? Um, nothing. No one here hiccuped
green juice out of their nose. Phew, that was a close one, huh? Dang it, Lynnie. How in Galileo's micrometer
did you get here? We snuck in the back seat
when you weren't looking. You have terrible
peripheral vision. We want to help you
with the mission. And I'm not one to miss a party. Fine. Since you're here,
you can help me find the vase. But remember,
it's crucial that we get it, swap it,
and get out without being seen. Let's roll. Ah, road trips, that beloved tradition
of families everywhere. Tomorrow the Loud family
is going on a road trip of our own.
Sounds fun, right? Not with 13 of us packed
into the family wagon or as we affectionately
call it, Vanzilla. [roaring] Every seat in Vanzilla offers
one kind of torture or another. Getting stuck next
to Lily's car seat is no good. Ah! Lily. [Lily laughing] The back row is so far away
from Mom and Dad, that it turns into the wild,
wild west. Stop looking at me. You stop looking at me! Come on! We haven't even left
the driveway yet! And this seat has
the exact opposite problem. It's right in Dad's sight line. Feet off the seat! Plus, it's next
to the one-working speaker. Ooh, honey.
It's our prom theme. Prrrrrrrr! [music playing, groaning] And the rest of the seats
only get worse. There's the sticky, the soggy,
the springy, and the slanty. From my calculations, that leaves just one seat safe
from it all. I call it 'The Sweet Spot.'
And tomorrow, it will be mine, 'cause I'm gonna stake it out
tonight. [honking] [gasping] Ain't she a beaut? I fell in love the minute
I took her for a test drive. Check this out. [cheering] [tutting]
Not so fast. This van is brand new
and I wanna keep it that way. Shoes off! From now on
you'll wear these booties. Now, line up for inspection. Uh-huh, so no history
of flaking skin, projectile vomiting
or leaky bowel syndrome. You may enter. Okay, gang, let's take her
for a ride. Everybody out,
don't smudge the door handles. That was like
the shortest ride ever! Now, guys, we don't wanna
rack up the mileage - on Veronica.
- Who? Oh, that's the name
I gave my little baby. Now everybody out. Dad, can I borrow,
um, Veronica tomorrow? [laughing] Oh, wait, you're serious. Oh, sorry, honey,
nobody drives her but me. And me, of course. [laughing] Oh, wait, you're serious too? [honking] Don't let that old geezer
pass us, Dad! Floor it! But it... it is floored. It's been floored
the whole time. Dang show off in his hot rod. Look! Come on, Dad,
let's get our dignity back! I'm right there with you, LJ. - Father, this is not advisable.
- Pass! Pass! Factoring in the angle
of our descent, current wind speed
and the condition of this aging heap, I fear we are going
to wind up... nose first in a ditch. [whimpering] My baby. What have I done? Stand back and let me work. Wow. Nice job, sweetie.
How'd you do that? Uh, it was no biggie. There was a crack
in the cylinder block, so I just rerouted the exhaust
manifold past the carburetor and then- Don't ask
if you don't really wanna know. Wait! Okay, now we can go. [honking] Dang it. [chuckles] So if we get Vanzilla going
fast, we may be able to roll start the engine
and then we'll know the problem is the pistons. It's a... pretty big hill. Now remember son,
when you get enough speed, try to start her up. [grunting] [screaming] Ah, it won't start!
It won't start! [whimpering] [vomiting] Hm. Well, I'll be chummed.
So it's not the pistons. No! No!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [shrieking, vomiting] Oh, not again! [shrieking, vomiting] [screaming] Maybe we shouldn't have picked
the guy with the weakest stomach
to do this. It was nothing!
[vomiting] Hey Dad, what did the left eye
say to the right eye? Between you and me,
something smells. [laughing]
Because of the nose. [Lola groaning]
You okay back there, sweetie? You seem a little quiet. I'm fine. Do you need help getting out
of your seat belt, Lola? I can get it myself. [grunting] Actually, I, I-I need help. [groaning] It's so hot.
Dad, can you turn on the A/C before my hair totally frizzes? Huh. Doesn't seem to be working. Uh, the coolant must have leaked
when we crashed. Pull over, Pops,
I'll check it out. No can do.
Remember eight o'clock check in. Well, can someone just roll
down a window? Sorry, honey, but if we roll
any of these windows down, they're not coming back up. I know it's hot,
but just pretend you're at the beach. In this? Uh. No. Anyone want a low cal-bean chip? Vomit. They're delicious. And sup's high fiber.
[farting] Yes, apparently. It was the seat. See? [groaning] Now it's not doing it. Suffocating. [coughing, groaning] Be strong, kids. No windows. [groaning]
It's in my mouth. [gasping] This is better! - What?!
- AH! [screaming] [tires screeching] Is everyone okay? [male voice]
I've been better! The good news is, the crash made
the windows go back up. The bad news is,
now we have no door. No way I can re-attach
this baby. But I may have a solution. Nice fix, but we still have
a grave situation! [laughing]
Get it? What? Don't set me up
if you don't wanna hear a joke! Wait! Ah! Hi, I wanna return this van.
It just didn't work out. Alright, sir. And now,
I'd like to buy back my old van. No can do. Just sold it
for scrap to the junkyard. [gasping] <i> ♪ Ooh, girl! If I could...
Ooh, girl! ♪</i> <i> ♪ Give you the... Ooh, girl!
We're all girls! ♪</i> We need to take this car out
for a test drive right now! Dad, I think Steve may have had
enough test driving for one day. Are you kidding?
This was amazing! My nail beds have literally
never looked this good. Whatever you guys want to do,
I'm in! Whoo-hoo! - Vanzilla! Vanzilla!
- Where are you?! Honk if you can hear me! Come on, baby!
Where are you? There she is! NOOOO!!! Dad, bead me! I wanna buy this van. Seriously? This hunk of junk? She's not a hunk of junk!
She's family. Thanks for giving up Veronica,
dear. I know it was a big sacrifice. [scoffs]
Veronica who? [laughing] I'm just glad
we can all be together in Vanzilla again. We are, too! Even if we're not actually
in Vanzilla. <i> ♪ Ooh, girl! If I could...
Ooh, girl! ♪</i>
