Ow! Oh! Ugh! As you can see,
I'm pretty much an expert at this middle school thing. Incoming!
Official hall monitor business! Like I said,
no surprises for this guy. Whoa! Oh, that's a surprise. [shivering] Whoa. Whoa.
[grunting] [shivering] Hey, w-why is it
so c-c-cold in here today? And how did that pigeon
in a tuxedo get in here? I hear this happens right
before the Yetis take over. Oh, my gosh,
they already got Andrew! [gasping] Good morning, kids. Hope you're enjoying
the cooler temperature. As Astrid Bjorklundson says...
"Temperatures as cold as ice will help the children learn
real nice." Who is this Bjorklundson
character anyway? She's a leading education
specialist from Sweden. And she has the coolest glasses.
Check her out. My patented Astrid Method
has improved student performance in over 50 countries. I not only preach
the Astrid Method, I practice it myself. Brr! Thanks to that icy plunge,
I just got ten new ideas! Hej då! Soon enough, you kids will be
the top students in all of Southeast Michigan! I can see you're all shaking
with excitement. [shivering] And just a heads-up, from now on school will start
at six a.m. for mindful yoga. To aid
the student's aspirations, begin the day with meditations. Whoop. Hoop la.
Astrid Power Pose! Fun, right? Hej då! I can't start school that early. I need two hours in the morning
to deep-condition my fiery mane. [thudding] [screaming] Hey! Give that back! [shivering] How are we supposed to focus when our brains are frozen
solid? At least Pizza Wednesday
will help warm us up. [grunting, thudding] That's definitely not pepperoni. Chef Patricia, I feel like
this must be a culinary mistake. Nope. School's on
the new Astrid Meal Plan now. Monday, salted cod;
Tuesday, salted herring; Wednesday,
well, you get the idea. Why are we eating so much fish? Astrid says it's brain food.
And I quote. "If for a test you are crammin',
have a plate of salted salmon." Huh, what's this strap for? Another one
of Fish Lady's big ideas. You have to take gym class
while you eat. Huh? [whistling] Faster! And keep eating! "Combining lunch
with moderate cardio gets the brain
working extra hard-io!" [grunting] [screaming] [grunting] You guys, all these changes
are ruining our lives. We have to get the school back
the way it was. Meryl, we'd like to speak
with Principal Ramirez about her new Astrid Method.
It's urgent. Oh, thank goodness. Her changes are more annoying
than a skeeter in your bloomers. She's messed up your life too? Yes, ma'am. Can y'all believe Astrid said
potty breaks are disruptive to administrative work?
Now I gotta sit on this all day. Ugh! Oh, Principal Ramirez. We have a slideshow
we'd like to show you on why the Astrid Method
isn't working. Lincoln, I need to go buy a whole bunch
of bamboo yoga mats. I don't have time
for your usual 20,000 slides. But we trimmed it down to a very bladder friendly
10,000. Listen, I know change is hard.
But as Astrid says, "Present pain leads
to future gain." Someday you'll all
be thanking me in your Nobel Prize
acceptance speeches. Fat chance.
If I don't thank Mee-Maw, I'll be sleepin' in the barn. We can't give up. There's gotta be a way
to convince Principal Ramirez. I don't know how. The only person
she listens to is Astrid. Clyde,
you might be onto something. Let's see your outfit, Stella.
Oops, I mean Astrid. If some fooling is
what you're needin', just pretend
that you're from Sweden. Hej då. Brilliant!
But I'm not sure you've completely nailed
the look. Hmm.
[gasping] Color those glasses red
and you're a perfect match. Yeah, totally.
You look just like her. But... [sniffing]
Ugh, Stella, you need a bath. You smell like sardines.
