>> ANNOUNCER: THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN MADE POSSIBLE BY THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES. >> JOYCE: GOD WAS CALLING ME TO DO SOMETHING BIG, BUT HE HAD TO MAKE ME AN EXCELLENT PERSON. I COULDN'T GO OFF SOMEWHERE AND SOMEBODY TEACH ME TO BE EXCELLENT. HE TAUGHT ME BY USING THE THINGS IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE. >> [MUSIC] >> JOYCE: LET ME ASK YOU SOME VERY DIRECT QUESTIONS. I'LL ASK MYSELF THESE QUESTIONS TOO. WHAT IS YOUR LIFESTYLE AND WOULD JESUS APPROVE OF IT? DOES HE APPROVE OF WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH? DOES HE APPROVE OF YOUR CHOICE OF ENTERTAINMENT? DOES JESUS APPROVE OF THE MOVIES THAT YOU GO TO? DOES HE APPROVE OF THE WAY YOU DRESS? DOES HE APPROVE OF WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT AROUND THE LUNCH TABLE AT LUNCH WITH YOUR CARNAL FRIENDS? YOU SAY, "MAN, I WANTED--I NEED TO FEEL BETTER. CAN YOU PREACH SOMETHIN' ELSE?" >> [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] >> JOYCE: NO, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD FEED YOU DESSERT TODAY BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA KEEP YA HEALTHY AND STRONG. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: QUESTION NUMBER TWO, DO YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC PURPOSE, SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE TO ACCOMPLISH IN YOUR LIFE? SEE, I'M GETTING A LOT OF THE LOOKS I THOUGHT I WOULD GET. >> [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] >> JOYCE: "I DON'T KNOW, I'M WAITING FOR GOD TO SHOW ME WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO." >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: DO YOU KNOW WHAT? SOMETIMES YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIGURE OUT WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO DO UNTIL YOU GET OUT THERE AND START MOVING AND TRYING A FEW THINGS. "WELL, WHAT IF I'M WRONG?" YOU'LL SURVIVE. I'VE BEEN WRONG LOTS OF TIMES AND I'LL STILL HERE. AMEN? ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE ON PURPOSE EACH DAY WORKING TOWARD THE PURPOSE YOU FEEL THAT GOD HAS FOR YOUR LIFE? AND YOUR PURPOSE CAN CHANGE AT DIFFERENT SEASONS IN YOUR LIFE. ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS HOME SCHOOLS HER GIRLS AND THAT'S BEEN HER PURPOSE, TO BE A GOOD MOM AND TO HOME SCHOOL THOSE GIRLS. BUT NOW THEY'RE 13 YEARS OLD AND GOD IS CHANGING HER PURPOSE AND SHE'S GONNA START GOING OUT AND DOING SOME SPEAKING BECAUSE SHE REALLY WANTS TO HELP PEOPLE. GIVE YOURSELF TO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS SEASON OF YOUR LIFE, BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED, AND DON'T GET SO ADDICTED TO YOUR PLAN THAT WHEN GOD WANTS TO CHANGE IT, YOU WON'T LET GO OF IT AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: AND DON'T MINIMIZE, WHATEVER IT IS THAT GOD WANTS YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW, DON'T MINIMIZE THAT. YOU MAY BE TAKING CARE OF ELDERLY PARENTS. CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? I THINK THAT TOUCHES GOD'S HEART ABOUT AS DEEP AS YOU CAN TOUCH IT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING, TAKING CARE OF ELDERLY PARENTS CAN BE A REAL JOB, I KNOW. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW LISTEN TO ME, IT'S WHAT WE DO BEHIND THE SCENES THAT AFFECTS THE POWER AND THE ANOINTING THAT WE CARRY OUT IN PUBLIC. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: DO YOU HAVE A PLAN? ARE YOU ABLE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH YOUR PLANS? HOW MANY DAYS DO YOU HAVE IN WHICH YOU DON'T ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO? HOW EASY DO YOU LOSE YOUR FOCUS? ARE YOU LEAVING A LEGACY? HERE'S A GOOD ONE, WILL THE WORLD MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIFE SO FAR? YOU KNOW, THESE ARE SOBERING QUESTIONS BUT WE NEED TO BE SOBER SOMETIMES. 1 PETER 5:8 SAYS, "BE WELL BALANCED, (SOBER OF MIND), BE VIGILANT AND CAUTIOUS AT ALL TIMES; FOR THAT ENEMY OF YOURS, THE DEVIL, ROAMS AROUND LIKE A LION ROARING [IN FIERCE HUNGER], SEEKING SOMEONE TO SEIZE UPON AND DEVOUR." AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IF WE DON'T WAKE UP, SLEEPY CHRISTIANS, WALK CAREFULLY, WHICH MEANS THE GREEK WORD IS CIRCUMSPECTLY AND THAT WORD MEANS TO WALK LOOKING ALL AROUND YOU BEING CAREFUL. IT ACTUALLY HAS A WORD PICTURE CONNECTED TO IT OF WALKING BAREFOOT IN A FIELD OF THORNS. SO, HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, GO OUT INTO A FIELD OF THORNS AND JUST--? WE WOULDN'T DO THAT BUT SOMETIMES THAT'S THE WAY WE LIVE LIFE, AMEN? NO, I MEAN YOU'D BE LIKE, "IS THIS THE RIGHT THING? IS THIS THE RIGHT THING? IS THIS THE RIGHT THING?" I'M JUST ASKING TODAY IF WE COULD START LIVING A LITTLE MORE CAREFULLY? HOW MANY WARNINGS DO YOU IGNORE? YOU SAY, "WARNINGS, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT YOUR BACK HAS HURT FOR 5 YEARS AND YOU'VE NEVER BOTHERED TO GO SEE WHY. "WELL, NO." WHEN YOUR BODY HURTS SOMEWHERE CONSISTENTLY, IT'S WARNING YOU THAT SOMETHING'S WRONG. AND IF YOU TAKE CARE OF LITTLE PROBLEMS, THEY WON'T BECOME BIG PROBLEMS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR EXCITEMENT. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: ALL RIGHT, I'LL JUST MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE. WE HAD BETTER SEIZE THE DAY BEFORE THE DEVIL SEIZES OUR DAY. 1 CORINTHIANS 3:10 SAYS, "ACCORDING TO THE GRACE OF GOD BESTOWED ON ME, LIKE A SKILLFUL ARCHITECT AND A MASTER BUILDER I LAID [THE] FOUNDATION, AND NOW ANOTHER [MAN] IS BUILDING UPON IT. BUT LET EACH [MAN] BE CAREFUL HOW HE BUILDS." THERE'S THE WORD AGAIN, CAREFUL OR CIRCUMSPECTLY. PAUL IS SAYING, "I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT CHRIST. I'VE LAID A FOUNDATION IN YOUR LIFE, NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE BUILDING A LIFE. BE CAREFUL HOW YOU BUILD." AND IF YOU GO ACTUALLY STUDY THOSE SCRIPTURES OUT, IT SAYS THAT WE CAN BUILD WOOD, HAY, STRAW, STUBBLE, GOLD, OR SILVER. HOW ARE WE BUILDING OUR LIFE? I SPENT SO MANY YEARS GOING TO BED AT NIGHT REGRETTING WHAT I SPENT MY DAY DOING, AND I DON'T WANT DO THAT ANYMORE AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO IT. I WANT TO GO TO BED AT NIGHT AND BE PROUD OF WHAT I GOT DONE THAT DAY. AMEN? >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH WHAT GOD IS GIVING YOU? A.W. TOZER SAID THIS AND I THINK THIS IS AWESOME, "A MAN BY HIS SIN MAY WASTE HIMSELF WHICH IS TO WASTE THAT WHICH ON EARTH IS MOST LIKE GOD." YOU HERE ON EARTH ARE MORE LIKE GOD THAN ANYTHING ELSE HERE AND HE'S SAYING, IF YOU WASTE YOURSELF, THEN YOU'RE WASTING THE THING THAT IS THE MOST LIKE GOD. THIS IS MAN'S GREATEST TRAGEDY AND GOD'S GREATEST GRIEF. YOU KNOW, WASTE OF ANY KIND IS SAD AND CERTAINLY THE WASTE OF AN ENTIRE LIFE IS THE SADDEST OF ALL. AND HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW SOMEBODY THAT HAS JUST WASTED THEIR WHOLE LIFE? OKAY, WELL, I THINK WE ALL DO. MY DAD DID THAT AND IT'S SO SAD TO SEE SOMEBODY IN THEIR 80s ON A WALKER, GRAY HAIR, ALL WRINKLED UP WHO'S PRETTY MUCH ALONE AND HAS NOTHING LEFT BUT REGRETS. I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THAT. I AM NOT GONNA GET TO THE END OF MY LIFE AND HAVE NOTHING LEFT BUT REGRETS. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: AND THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU CAN NOT HAVE REGRET TOMORROW IS TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT TODAY. TODAY, WE NEED TO START MAKING RIGHT CHOICES. IF GOD IS DEALING WITH YOU ABOUT ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO BE OBEDIENT TO HIM AND YOU'RE PUTTING IT OFF FOR ANOTHER DAY, I THINK "TOMORROW'S" MAYBE THE MOST DANGEROUS WORD THAT WE HAVE IN OUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE. "I'LL DO THAT TOMORROW. I'LL DO THAT TOMORROW." WELL, WHAT IF JESUS COMES TODAY? THANK YOU. IT WASN'T A LOUD CLAP BUT NONETHELESS IT WAS A CLAP. HOW MANY OF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO HERE TODAY? >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: I'M TRYING TO MOVE SOMEBODY TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS. I'M TRYING TO MOVE SOMEBODY TO STOP JUST WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO COME AND WAVE THEIR HAND OVER YOU AND MAKE IT ALL RIGHT. I'M YELLING TO SOMEBODY, "GET UP!" IT'S TIME TO GET UP AND START DOING SOMETHING WITH WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: "WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS ME TO DO." YOU KNOW WHAT? HALF THE TIME WHEN I COME UP HERE, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT GOD WANTS ME TO DO AND I'VE GOT A MESSAGE, BUT I'LL TELL YA ONE THING, I'VE NEVER COME UP HERE AND NOT HAD GOD WORK THROUGH ME. AND IF YOU WILL TAKE A STEP, GOD WILL WORK THROUGH YOU. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: AMEN? I BELIEVE THAT GOD HATES WASTE. I DON'T LIKE TO WASTE GOD'S MONEY. I DON'T LIKE TO WASTE MY TIME. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY ENERGY. DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERY DAY THAT YOU SPEND ANGRY IS A DAY THAT YOU HAVE TOTALLY WASTED? TOTALLY WASTED. EVERY DAY THAT YOU SPEND FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, IT'S A TOTALLY WASTED DAY. IT'S COMPLETELY UNPRODUCTIVE. IT DOES NOT HELP YOUR FUTURE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM. IT'S JUST KEEPS YOU STUCK IN THE SAME SPOT. COME ON, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MAKING SOME DECISIONS TODAY. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALWAYS SPENDING SOMETHING. YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR TIME. YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR ENERGY. YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR MONEY. NOW, LIKE TODAY, YOU HAVE SPENT, BY THE TIME YOU LEAVE, YOU WILL HAVE SPENT, WELL, 2 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES FROM THE TIME THE SERVICE STARTED AND SOME OF YOU PROBABLY GOT HERE EARLY. AND SO, LET'S JUST SAY, LET'S JUST SAY EVEN IF YOU SPENT 3 HOURS HERE TODAY, OKAY, WELL, THAT'S TIME WELL SPENT BECAUSE, YOU KNOW WHY? THIS IS GONNA HELP YOU TOMORROW, AND THE NEXT DAY, AND THE NEXT DAY, AND THE NEXT DAY. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: BUT YOU COULD HAVE WENT OUT FOR COFFEE WITH TWO FRIENDS AND SAT AND GOSSIPED FOR 3 HOURS ABOUT EVERYBODY ELSE YOU KNOW, AND THAT'S NOT GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. YOU'LL BE UNHAPPY LATER TODAY AND WON'T EVEN KNOW WHY. BUT NOW TODAY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A MUCH BETTER DAY BECAUSE YOU'RE SITTING THERE HAVING LIFE MINISTERED TO YOU. >> [AUDIENCE APPLAUDING] >> JOYCE: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? "IF YOU SOW TO THE SPIRIT, YOU WILL REAP FROM THE SPIRIT LIFE AND LIFE ETERNAL. AND IF YOU SOW TO THE FLESH, YOU WILL REAP DEATH, RUIN, DECAY, AND DESTRUCTION." AMEN. MAKE GOOD CHOICES. FEEL GOOD ABOUT THE CHOICES THAT YOU'RE MAKING. AMEN? I FIGURED OUT YESTERDAY, AND I'M DOWN THE ROAD A WAYS WITH THIS SO DON'T--I'M NOT ASKING ANYBODY TO DO WHAT I'M DOING BUT I STARTED WORKING OUT WITH WEIGHTS 11 YEARS AGO AND I DID THAT 3 HOURS A WEEK. IT WOULD TAKE ME AN HOUR, THREE TIMES A WEEK, AND I HAD A TRAINER. WELL, ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO, I STARTED ADDING WALKING AND I GOT UP TO 5 MILES EVERY DAY. AND SO, I SPEND ABOUT 17 HOURS A WEEK EXERCISING. OKAY NOW, AND I'M NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU. I'M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT. OKAY, BEFORE I GOT UP HERE TO TEACH THIS, I TOOK AN INVENTORY OF MY TIME. HOW MUCH TIME DO I SPEND WATCHING TV? HOW MUCH TIME DO I SPEND SLEEPING? HOW MUCH TIME DO I SPEND DOING THIS? HOW MUCH TIME DO I SPEND DOING THAT? HOW MUCH TIME DO I SPEND WITH GOD? AND I'M FINDING IT TO BE INTERESTING BECAUSE WE OFTEN SAY, "LIFE JUST GOES BY IN A BLUR." WELL, SOMETIMES WE NEED TO TAKE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING WITH THE TIME THAT WE HAVE. TAKE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH THE TIME THAT YOU HAVE. THE ONLY WAY THAT WE CAN EVER MAKE ANY CHANGES IN OUR LIFE IS TO TAKE AN HONEST LOOK AT IT AND SAY, "WHAT AM I INVESTING? WHAT AM I WASTING? WHAT WOULD GOD HAVE ME CHANGE?" YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALWAYS ADJUSTING AND MAKING CHANGES IN OUR LIVES. IF YOU'RE NEVER WILLING TO CHANGE ANYTHING, LIFE WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID LAST NIGHT, YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER THINKING YOU'RE GONNA GET A BETTER RESULT. LET'S MAXIMIZE OUR LIFE. LET'S MAXIMIZE OUR TIME. I LIKE THAT WORD "MAXIMIZE," DON'T YOU? THE DEVIL WANTS TO MINIMIZE US, BUT GOD WANTS TO MAXIMIZE US, THAT MEANS TO DO THE MOST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, NOT THE LEAST THAT YOU CAN. DON'T EVER BE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT JUST DOES BARELY ENOUGH TO GET BY, ALWAYS GO THE EXTRA MILE. >> GINGER: WELL, IT SURE CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT IT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA FOR ALL OF US TO TAKE AN INVENTORY OF OUR LIVES. BEING HONEST WITH OURSELVES, LET'S BE REAL, AND ASKING IS OUR LIFESTYLE ONE THAT JESUS WOULD APPROVE? IS IT SOMETHING THAT IS BRINGING HIM GLORY? YOU SEE, IT'S WHAT WE DO BEHIND THE SCENES THAT MATTERS SO MUCH MORE EVEN THAN WHAT WE CARRY OUT IN PUBLIC. AND GOD IS THERE TO HELP YOU. JOYCE HAS A TEACHING CALLED, "LIVING ON PURPOSE FOR A PURPOSE." THIS IS REALLY GOOD STUFF. IT'S THREE TEACHINGS HERE. AND SOME OF THE THINGS THAT THIS WILL TEACH YOU ARE SO HELPFUL. IT WILL HELP YOU IDENTIFY AND DEVELOP GOD'S GIFTS AND TALENTS IN YOUR LIFE. THAT IS REALLY HELPFUL TO BE AWARE OF. IT ALSO, HELPS OFFER YOU PRACTICAL TIPS FOR GETTING AND REACHING YOUR GOALS. SO, YOU LEARN HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THOSE GOALS ARE FIRST, AND THEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ATTAIN THEM. SO, THIS IS REALLY GOOD STUFF. BUT IT'S NOT JUST ENCOURAGEMENT, IT'S FROM THE WORD OF GOD. SO, IT REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN YOU ARE WALKING IN A WAY THAT GOD WANTS YOU TO. WE WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS FOR ANY AMOUNT TODAY. WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU CAN GIVE, WE JUST ASK THAT YOU DO YOUR VERY BEST. YOU CAN GET IT LIKE THIS, OR YOU CAN GET IT AS A DOWNLOAD. SO, JUST REACH OUT TODAY AND LET US KNOW. DID YOU KNOW THAT MORE THAN 70% OF ALL TRAFFICKED VICTIMS AROUND THE WORLD ARE WOMEN AND GIRLS? FAR TOO MANY GIRLS SIMPLY HAVE NO IDEA THAT THEY ARE IMPORTANT AND LOVED, AND IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN THEY LEARN THAT, AND WE CAN HELP RESCUE THEM OUT OF THESE TERRIBLE SITUATIONS. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, THE QUESTION IS, "WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?" WELL, THERE'S A LOT YOU CAN DO. YOU, FIRST, HAVE TO REFUSE TO DO NOTHING. THAT'S A BIG ONE. WE HAVE MADE A COMMITMENT TO GUIDE THESE WOMEN, TO RESTORE THEIR SELF-WORTH, AND TO LOVE THEM INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND YOU CAN BE PART OF IT. YOU CAN HELP SHOW PRECIOUS WOMEN AND GIRLS, EVERYWHERE, THAT THEY ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR, AS BELOVED DAUGHTERS OF GOD. SO, MANY OF THEM HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT. LEARN MORE RIGHT NOW, ABOUT HOW YOU CAN BE INVOLVED AT PROJECTGRL.ORG; PROJECT G R L.ORG. LET'S REACH OUT AND DO THIS TOGETHER. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME. >> [♪♪] >> [MUSIC] >> GINGER: JOYCE, I REALLY THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LIKE THIS CANDID CONVERSATION TOPIC, TODAY. BUT WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL HOW WE DESCRIBE IT. BECAUSE, OF COURSE EVERYONE LOVES THEIR CHILDREN, BUT THERE ARE TIMES THAT WE DON'T LIKE THEM VERY WELL. SO, TODAY, WE WANNA TALK ABOUT THOSE TIMES-- DIFFERENT PHASES IN PEOPLE'S LIVES, WHEN MAYBE, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU'RE GOING THROUGH WITH A CHILD THAT YOU JUST DON'T LIKE THEM VERY WELL, RIGHT NOW. HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANY TIMES LIKE THAT? >> JOYCE: OH, NO. MY CHILDREN WERE ALL PERFECT AND I JUST LOVED 'EM TO PIECES. >> GINGER: I REMEMBER TELLING MY CHILDREN, "I LOVE YOU, BUT I JUST DON'T LIKE YOU, RIGHT NOW." >> JOYCE: THERE'S PROBABLY THINGS ABOUT EACH ONE OF MY CHILDREN THAT I DIDN'T LIKE, BUT TWO OF THEM, IN PARTICULAR, I HAD SOME MAJOR ISSUES WITH. NOW, KEEPING IN MIND THAT I WAS STILL HAVING SOME MAJOR ISSUES MYSELF, ESPECIALLY, WITH MY OLDEST SON. I LOVED HIM, BUT I JUST DIDN'T LIKE HIM, BECAUSE HE JUST-- I DIDN'T KNOW WHY, AT THE TIME, BUT I FOUND OUT SINCE THAT IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS JUST LIKE ME. AND SO, WE WERE CONSTANTLY CLASHING BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH THE TYPE A, DRIVEN, "I'M GONNA HAVE MY WAY, DON'T TRY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO TYPE THING." AND I DON'T CARE WHAT I COOKED FOR DINNER, HE DIDN'T LIKE IT. AND, YOU KNOW, HE WAS ONE OF THE TEENAGERS THAT ROLLED HIS EYES BACK IN HIS HEAD AND SLUMPED IN HIS BED. AND, YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER HIM TELLING ME, ONE TIME, "WELL, IF YOU WERE--IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THE WAY YOU WERE, I WOULDN'T BE THE WAY I AM." SO, WE JUST--WE HAD A ROUGH GO. I MEAN, I HAVE TO SAY WHEN HE MOVED AWAY FROM HOME, HE WENT TO--HE WENT TO FLORIDA TO GO TO SCHOOL TO BE A MISSIONARY, AND I WAS JUST SO GLAD. >> GINGER: AND THAT'S OKAY TO SAY, RIGHT? >> JOYCE: WELL, YEAH. >> GINGER: I MEAN, THERE ARE TIMES THAT WE'RE STRUGGLING WITH OUR CHILDREN, THE RELATIONSHIPS CHANGE IN DIFFERENT WAYS IS THE CHILDREN AGE, AND SOMETIMES, WE NEED A BREAK. >> JOYCE: WELL, NOW, HE RUNS OUR WORLD MISSIONS PROGRAM. AND, YOU KNOW, I CAN SAY THAT I GET ALONG GREAT WITH ALL MY CHILDREN, NOW. THEY ALL LOVE ME TO PIECES. I MEAN, I WOULD SAY THAT THERE'S A LOT OF DAYS WHEN I TALK TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. MY ONE DAUGHTER, WHICH WAS THE ONE THAT I HAD SUCH A HARD TIME WITH, WHEN SHE WAS GROWING UP, WHICH I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IN A MINUTE, FIRST THING SHE DOES EVERY MORNING, AFTER-- WHEN SHE WAKES UP, IS CALL ME. A LOT OF TIMES, SHE'LL STILL BE IN BED WHEN SHE CALLS ME. AND SHE WAS-- SHE WAS JUST MESSY. YOU KNOW, SHE WAS VERY PASSIVE AND LAID-BACK, AND HATED SCHOOL, AND JUST BARELY GOT BY. AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS REAL MS. NEAT AND TIDY. AND YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER THOSE SPEECHES, "IF YOU'RE GONNA LIVE IN MY HOUSE..." "YOU'RE GONNA KEEP THIS ROOM CLEAN!" I REMEMBER, DAVE, FINALLY SAID, ONE TIME, HE SAID, "YOU TELL ME THE THINGS THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT PUT UP WITH AND I'LL MAKE HER DO THEM. OTHER THAN THAT, YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS, BECAUSE," HE SAID, "ALL YOU TWO DO IS FIGHT ALL THE TIME." AND HONESTLY, WE HAD ARGUED SO MUCH, BY THE TIME SHE LEFT HOME, SHE DID NOT CALL ME OR SPEAK TO ME FOR SIX MONTHS AFTER SHE GOT MARRIED. >> GINGER: AND NOW, SHE DOES EVERY DAY. >> JOYCE: WELL, NOW, SHE, YOU KNOW, SHE ACTUALLY, HELPS TAKE CARE OF ME. YOU KNOW, THIS MORNING, I HAD-- WAS A TROUBLE-- PROBLEM WITH MY PHONE. SHE JUST GOT IN HER CAR AND CAME OVER AND FIXED IT FOR ME. AND SHE'S--WE'RE JUST-- WE'RE JUST REAL CLOSE NOW. AND YOU KNOW, I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN, MY OLDEST SON, DAVID, AND I HAD A LOT OF ISSUES WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS GROWING UP. IT WAS CHALLENGING BUT IT WAS--A LOT OF IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS JUST LIKE ME. AND TO BE HONEST, I DIDN'T LIKE MYSELF. AND I THINK A LOT OF TIMES, YOU KNOW, THE CHILD THAT YOU-- IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOURSELF, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE CHILD THAT'S LIKE YOU. AND THEN, ALSO, THE ONES THAT ARE TOTALLY OPPOSITE OF YOU, THAT CAN BE AN ISSUE TOO, BECAUSE YOU EXPECT THEM TO DO THINGS-- SEE, I WAS MS. NEAT AND TIDY, SO I EXPECTED HER TO CLEAN UP. AND I ALWAYS SAY, "WHEN LAURA CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL, YOU COULD SEE A TRAIL." SHE'D DROP HER COAT, DROP HER BOOKS, YOU KNOW, HALF THE TIME SHE COULDN'T FIND THINGS. AND--BUT THERE WERE GOOD TIMES, TOO. YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T LIKE-- WASN'T LIKE, EVERYTHING WAS BAD. YOU KNOW, WE DID THINGS WITH OUR KIDS. I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS IN "BROWNIES" AND SHE'D PUT ON HER LITTLE BROWNIE OUTFIT AND I WOULD TAKE HER TO BROWNIES. AND I THINK, ESPECIALLY--AND IF THERE'S ANY TEENAGERS WATCHING, PLEASE, DON'T BE OFFENDED. BUT I THINK, ESPECIALLY, WHEN KIDS ARE GOING THROUGH THE TEENAGE YEARS, THEY'RE STARTING TO WANT THEIR FREEDOM. AND THAT'S SOMETHING GOD PUTS IN THEM. THEY'RE STARTING TO PULL AWAY. THEY HAVE MORE OPINIONS. THEY'RE QUICK TO GIVE 'EM TO YOU. THEY'RE KIND OF NOT WANTING PEOPLE TELL THEM WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, AND YOU'RE NOT FINISHED TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO NOW. I MEAN, I REMEMBER, LIKE HER AND I HAVING A BIG ARGUMENT OVER-- BIKINIS WERE BECOMING A THING. WELL, SHE WANTED A TWO-PIECE BATHING SUIT. I TOLD HER SHE COULD GET A TWO-PIECE, BUT IT WASN'T GOING TO BE A BIKINI. AND SHE FOUND ONE THAT I THOUGHT WAS TOO-- I MEAN, WE JUST HAD THE BIGGEST FIGHT OVER THAT. AND--BUT IT'S ALL WORKED OUT. SIX MONTHS AFTER SHE WAS MARRIED, SHE CAME TO MY HOUSE AND SHE SAT DOWN, AND SHE SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING." UGH, THAT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY! [LAUGHING] THAT WAS A WONDERFUL DAY. >> GINGER: BUT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO HIDE. LIKE, WE DON'T EVER WANT ANYBODY TO THINK THAT WE ARE HAVING ANY PROBLEMS WITH OUR CHILDREN OR THAT OUR RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T PERFECT. AND SO, I THINK IT'S GREAT JUST TO BRING THIS UP IN THE OPEN AND SAY, IT'S OKAY IF THERE'S A PHASE THAT IS NOT GOING EXACTLY LIKE YOU WANT IT TO. >> JOYCE: I TOLD MY DAUGHTER, THIS MORNING, WHAT THE CONTENT WAS GOING TO BE TODAY. SHE SAID, "WELL, I KNOW WHO'LL BE IN THAT." [LAUGHING] AND THEY'RE SO GOOD ABOUT LETTING ME, YOU KNOW-- BECAUSE NOT EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT. YOU KNOW, I READ SOMETHING IN A BOOK, THE OTHER DAY, AND IT JUST BLESSED ME SO MUCH. I'M ACTUALLY, GONNA DO A TEACHING ON THIS, BUT, "IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY." YOU KNOW, WE DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE FEELING LOVING TOWARD EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME. YOU KNOW, AND I ALWAYS LOVED MY KIDS, I NEVER DID NOT LOVE MY KIDS, BUT THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I DIDN'T LIKE THEM. NOW, MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER, SANDRA, SHE WAS A PERFECTIONIST. AND SO, SHE SUITED ME PRETTY WELL BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO DO EVERYTHING JUST RIGHT, YOU KNOW? HOWEVER, YOU KNOW, SHE HAD ISSUES TOO, BECAUSE SHE WOULD-- LIKE, IF SHE MADE ONE MISTAKE ON A PIECE OF HOMEWORK, SHE'D WAD IT UP IN A BALL AND THROW IT AWAY, AND START ALL OVER AGAIN. AND SO-- >> GINGER: YEAH, SO THAT WAS HARD ON HER. >> JOYCE: WE ALL HAVE OUR THINGS. AND MY YOUNGEST SON, WHO'S THE CEO OF ALL THE STUFF BESIDES THE WORLD MISSIONS, I MEAN, HE JUST-- HE WAS MY BABY, FIRST OF ALL, AND YOU KNOW, I JUST LOVED HIM TO PIECES, BUT HE WAS ALSO--JUST-- HE'S GOT SOME TYPE A BUT A LOT OF SANGUINE AND HE JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN. YOU KNOW, HE HATED SCHOOL, HE JUST--HE'S NOT A BOOK TYPE PERSON, HE'S MORE OF A HANDS-ON TYPE PERSON. AND HE AMAZES ME, LIKE, HE HAS A GIFT OF WISDOM, AND HE CAN FIX ALMOST ANYTHING BUT HE STILL DOESN'T-- IS NOT CRAZY ABOUT READING. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST-- DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT. AND I THINK, IF YOU WANT TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE, YOU HAVE TO STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE BE WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO BE. A STATEMENT THAT I HEARD THAT I THINK IS VERY GOOD IS "YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE PEOPLE WHERE THEY'RE AT, NOT WHERE YOU WANT THEM TO BE." >> GINGER: AND IT'S THE SAME FOR YOUR KIDS. >> JOYCE: RIGHT, SAME FOR YOUR KIDS. >> GINGER: YOUR KIDS ARE PEOPLE. SOMETIMES, WE DON'T THINK OF THEM THAT WAY. >> JOYCE: THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVE A BOOK THAT'S CALLED, "TEENAGERS ARE PEOPLE TOO." I THINK, WE THINK, SOMETIMES, OUR KIDS, YOU KNOW, JUST AREN'T PEOPLE. AND SO, I'M SURE THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU HAD, WELL, JUST TWO GIRLS, BUT I'M SURE THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU HAD ISSUES-- YOU HAD CHALLENGES AT DIFFERENT TIMES. >> GINGER: YEAH, DIFFERENT PHASES OF DIFFERENT THINGS HAPPENING IN OUR LIFE. AND I REMEMBER, THE FIRST TIME, WHEN OUR FIRST DAUGHTER WAS TWO YEARS OLD-- AND LIKE, SHE WAS THE MOST DARLING BABY. EVERYTHING WAS JUST PERFECT. AND SHE HIT TWO, AND IT WAS LIKE, "WHO IS THIS CRAZY CHILD?" AND YOU KNOW, THEN IT'S LIKE, I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW THAT I WANT TO CONTINUE THIS RIGHT NOW. SO, YOU KNOW, THEN YOU GET THROUGH THAT PHASE AND THEN, IT'S MORE DIFFICULT AS THEY GET OLDER, OF COURSE. AND, BECAUSE, THE PROBLEMS ARE JUST DIFFERENT AND THEY'RE BIGGER PROBLEMS. AND YOU WORK THROUGH THEM. BUT THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOU HAVE THESE FEELINGS, RIGHT? IT'S--YOU ALWAYS CHOOSE TO LOVE, BUT THERE ARE TIMES THAT YOU HAVE FEELINGS THAT ARE-- >> JOYCE: AND YOU FEEL LIKE THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. >> GINGER: EXACTLY. THAT ARE MORE, YOU KNOW, "THIS IS GOING REALLY WELL," AND THEN YOU'RE FEELING LIKE, "WE'RE JUST NOT CLICKING, WE'RE NOT CONNECTING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING." SO, DEFINITELY, BEEN THROUGH THOSE TYPES OF THINGS. >> JOYCE: I REMEMBER LAURA TELLING ME, ONE TIME, "I HATE YOU!" >> GINGER: OH YEAH, THAT'S A HARD ONE. >> JOYCE: WE LAUGH ABOUT THAT NOW, BUT I'LL TELL YOU, IT WASN'T FUNNY THAT DAY. AND, I MEAN, WHEN SHE'D GOT MARRIED AND MOVED AWAY FROM HOME AND DIDN'T CALL ME, I'D CRY. I'D TELL DAVE, "SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE." AND EVEN, YOU KNOW, AS THEY'VE BEEN ADULTS, YOU GO THROUGH DIFFERENT PHASES, LIKE, SHE HAS FOUR CHILDREN. SO, WHEN SHE WAS REALLY BUSY WITH HER CHILDREN, I RARELY EVER SAW HER, AND THAT WAS A DIFFICULT TIME. AND NOW, YOU KNOW, HER KIDS ARE ALL GROWN AND MARRIED, AND SO, SHE HAS LOTS OF TIME FOR ME. AND ALL OF MY KIDS ARE GREAT IN DIFFERENT WAYS. AND LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN BEING ON EARTH, THEY ALL HAVE WEAKNESSES, JUST LIKE I DO, JUST LIKE YOU DO. AND ALL I CAN SAY IS WORK THROUGH IT, AND DON'T-- THINGS WILL CHANGE. KEEP LOVING PEOPLE. YOU KNOW, JUST KEEP LOVING PEOPLE. WE NEED TO LOVE PEOPLE. WE DON'T HAVE TO LIKE EVERYTHING THEY DO, BUT WE DO NEED TO LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY. AND WE NEED TO ALWAYS LET OUR CHILDREN KNOW, "I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU DID, BUT I LOVE YOU." >> GINGER: GREAT ADVICE. IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PARENTS, RIGHT NOW, WHO'S FEELING LIKE, "I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM A LOT, RIGHT NOW," HOLD ON, IT WILL CHANGE. >> JOYCE: IT WILL GET BETTER. >> [MUSIC] >> ANNOUNCER: WE HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED TODAY'S PROGRAM. PLEASE CONTACT US OR VISIT JOYCEMEYER.ORG TO SHARE YOUR PRAYER REQUESTS, OR PARTNER WITH US IN SHARING CHRIST AND LOVING PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE. THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN MADE POSSIBLE BY THE FRIENDS AND PARTNERS OF JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES.
