Barney's Great Adventure - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by hello fresh delicious pre-measured ingredients and simple chef made recipes delivered to your doorstep every week [Music] [Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia good guy remember it so you don't have to there's two kinds of Barney's in the world one is an obnoxious dinosaur nobody likes to listen to and the other is purple this is Barney's great adventure Barney is one of the most fascinating children's icons who ever existed not because he had much lasting value for kids or adults but because of the raw undiluted hatred everybody had for it how much more somewhere between the ages of one and five chances are you despised this early 90s educational phenomenon everywhere you look do you either saw Barney or someone making fun of Barney there was no one who saw him as just okay you either liked him as a little kid or loved him at every other age it was kind of amazing I'm not gonna lie I hated this lumpy prune with mouth guard teeth too but it wasn't until recently I started asking myself why I mean it's for little kids don't find ourselves getting this upset at Sesame Street Dora super Y or WordGirl but something about Barney just ignited a fire within most viewers who had little kids and we're forced to watch it hell even people without little kids found themselves repulsed by his ability to delight toddlers yeah it is weird that we got so angry at this what's the best way to figure out why he hurt people so much well clearly is to be urged for an hour and a half checking out his 1998 cinematic Dino dropping so let's really take a look at why this dead-eyed mr. eggplant head really got under people's skin oh I think it's safe to say we all have better things to do let's willingly take a look at Barney's great adventure I can't believe I actually said those words out loud I am sorry to say I got the pan and scanned version as it's the only one I was able to find this is especially tragic as well miss have the action during the chariot race not that you need white screen to see the incredible visuals this movie starts off with it looks like everybody's so cool I can't wait to eat did Barney kidnapped me and this is the point of view from my blindfold oh boy we're gonna make so much money ransoming off your body buds let's count how many toes you have left one that was fun I'm not sure why it opened with that seeing how it cuts to the credits pretty quick with a totally bizarre lounge song playing us in [Music] I keep expecting a half-drunk singer to be like I meet ily Barney will leave you after you fail the pregnancy test oh no not yet Marcella we'll get to the end credits soon what's your hurry they're dumping us for a whole week oh come on Cody you're gonna have a great time [Music] shall we in the cinematic universe of ordinary people I thought we'd be singing about math by nap get the doll out of my face I too thought it was brave to make us hate these characters before we even learn their names batteries not included what the father gives as if to say oh my god you laughed at that I mean I found it funny because I'm drunk what's your Excuse they see there's an apple festival after changing drivers off-screen but it doesn't look like they're gonna have time for it don't count on it ok oh great the one good thing to do in town will probably miss it nobody ever gets how awesome apples are remember when Slipknot wore Apple master tells the [ __ ] their son Cody though doesn't seem to be getting into the farm spirit you don't need cable TV at a farm Cody great scenery Cody is played by Trevor Morgan who you might remember as the bully from The Sixth Sense and no kidding Jurassic Park 3 the one that actually had Barney the Dinosaur in it this is t-rex pee how'd you get it you don't know ah so that's the Barney golden shower song I've heard so much about Cody takes the Barney doll away and runs around the house with it honestly this is nicer than as usual prank of locking kids in rooms with dead people Who am I kidding I ran be trapped in that room then one with Barney Cody where is he well you use your imagination I know I'm only 5 minutes in but Cody's my favorite character I totally wanted to be an insult comic at Tyler's birthday parties along with Linus from Sharkboy and Lavagirl tell me when pay money to see that gee no Barney you did me I kill you oh you've heard about how is true it's so nice to have a shower after a long car trip ah so looking at this ice source after all these years it is hitting me with more clarity why it's so easy to dislike him one of the biggest reasons he's creepy looking when you compare him to say Disney characters or the Muppets who spent years trying to perfect their designs you can start to tell why first off the eyes they're the most expressive part of the face so either making them very large and complex or smaller and simpler can make a big difference Barney's eyes are both big in the wrong way and small in the wrong way the actual size of his eyes are tiny but not simple enough to leave a gentle impact yet his pupils are huge and literally glassy always looking dead stone or possessed by Yoshi Satan on top of that his weird-ass teeth again Disney and the Muppets rarely incorporated that much dental unless they want them to look intentionally weird you probably noticed a big smile with a lot of teeth often comes across as domineering or even a little scary heck just look at this [ __ ] and not making them sharp if anything kind of makes it even more creepy remember when Sonic and normal-looking teeth remember when sharks were photoshopped with normal teeth it didn't help anything it just made [ __ ] scarier so before Barney even says a word you're already put off by him but boots and covers and all that maybe his personality has more charm than I remember please well Barney bathing naked in front of little kids is certainly a good start real dinosaurs don't you know maybe that's another big factor I mean that kid just insulted Barney and all he did was laugh which for some characters could work but for Barney you know he's just gonna be happy and that's it and believe it or not even for little kids that's not very relatable think about like all their children's icon stayed with you because they showed they were more than one emotion mr. Rogers could talk about sad things like death depression difficult emotions assassination mean big bird could feel awful when he finds out he's never gonna see someone ever again when people die they don't come back ever it's not just one emotion a great children's character can express its a gamut of emotions that all kids feel to understand those feelings and to better respond to them is what I feel is the most important task Barney would never feel sad or angry or confused he was just happy all the time which after a while comes across as phony and even kind of shallow and don't get me wrong I know it's weird to analyze something never like little little kids but part of this analysis is figuring out why everyone else hated him so much part of that may be because we remember relating to other kids in media because it taught us how emotions and conflict work as well as numbers and letters and all they had to do was simply have more than one emotion imagine Barney having any other emotion other than happy it would be crazy because neither his physical nor emotional design supported he couldn't have the conversations they had on Sesame Street or mr. Rogers because there was so little to it imagine if they did it just turned out insane hey kids what those assasination mean is that when someone gets killed in a surprise way that's what happened you know that man killed that other man can't even keep going it's just too uncomfortable to process yet Daniel Tiger a sock puppet does it and it feels more genuine because he isn't obnoxiously happy all the time kids can process their emotions as well as information without even knowing they're doing it and Barney flat-out rejects that all of that in my opinion is why he gets on so many people's nerves wow that's impressive only a minute of him being on screen and I figured out why he's such a pain in the ass to everyone well I guess I don't need to finish the rest of the movie and Lee you still have and now we're a movie to cover but I just found out why you were so annoying and surprisingly knowing that doesn't make you any easier to watch come on don't make me quote other serious subjects that shows better than me covered no come on it can't be that awkward do you mean mr. Hooper died and he's never coming back ever why won't he ever come back thank God your lack of emotional diversity is terrifying oh good I weep for you good because I can't Oh kill me so Barney sings a song about imagination while being happy whimsical shoving those who deny him well that was awkwardly staged I hear less Barney and more the guy inside the suit say can't see [ __ ] push me towards something soft before I break my friggin spine fine [Music] take this Punk I'll show you what happens to those who leave my cult where's my impaling pitchfork Cody tries imagining Barnea way to make him disappear forget a kid we've been trying that for years Barney the dinosaurs not in this bar ah George Lucas took over directing wait that can't be Barney is actually there Cody tries telling his grandparents that there's a dinosaur in their barn and we're surprised they don't believe him he's very big oh sure he's big now but you just wait these fads come and go that's the first word of comfort I can relate to in this movie Cody I first met your grandmother when I was about your age keep the love glow in your dinosaur in the barn that sounds silly a fully orchestrated song on the porch out of nowhere that's cold hard reality oh look he fell by accident sorry Syria I don't have you Mike for death until Tuesday Ralph a little guitar music please I find that highly suspect Ralph has no guitar pick wait a minute is this the same melody for ABC Barney's music is a lie actually it is fun reading google it the torture chamber sounds most apropos Cody doesn't want to make-believe though so Barney suggests that he wishes upon a star I wish I could ever real adventure this summer do things that no one else has done before that would be cool careful what you wish for I make no promises that's my last jp3 joke the falling star lands in the barn which turns out to be an egg the next morning Cody dresses for a Disney afternoon commercial but is shocked to discover not only that Barney is still around but the film is not above a poop joke god this is a Lucas movie oh man pee Yosa downside to having an orchestra play Old MacDonald I can make a sea sound like an F sometimes Barney's great brothel wasn't unpopular working title but they still managed to keep those lyrics in they find the egg in the barn and trying to figure out where it came from it's too big to come from the chickens maybe it was a big giant chicken even Barney had a look like [ __ ] you for real I got to ask the grandparents if they know what it is and oh god he procreates [Music] as you can see from this green falling off me this isn't even my final form and I'm looking for my blankie do you know where my blankie is it's wherever the script is I'm sure [Applause] you [Music] why hello fresh I was just at the gym working on my arm steps what were you up to oh I see just being a delicious meal kit delivery service that shops plans and deliver step-by-step recipes and pre-measured ingredients so you can just cook eat and enjoy oh hello fresh you may conquer in the kitchen of reality with simple delicious recipes cooking meals is made simple and enjoyable with fresh pre-measured ingredients and easy to follow six step picture - recipe cards Aloha I love the way that delivered to my door every week in a special insulated box with every meal coming together in 30 minutes max calling for less than two pots and pans and requiring minimal cleanup and the meal plans you can choose from classic Oh veggie oh and family uh-oh with the option to switch between for when your tastes change oh I especially love your fun and new features with hello freshers dinner to lunch 20 minute meals gourmet it's amazing that even though I'm not a good cook I can make them with ease my personal favorite is the cranberry apple pork chop look at it it's delicious whether following the recipe or making it my own there's so many options and now you can get $80 off your first month of hellofresh by just going to hello fresh comm slash nostalgia a B and Entering nostalgia a V that's so amazing dollars off your first month of hellofresh by going to hello fresh khamseh 80 it's like receiving eight meals for free now hello fresh what do you say we get cook it okay what's with the silent treatment nostalgia a tea and enter nostalgia 84 80 bucks off your first month [Music] delicious you wanna see is in the Chicagoland area well Saturday June 29th we're gonna be at Hollywood Palms for Walter been a ZX cinematic opus the Infinity Trinity doors open at 6:00 there will be a meet and greet beforehand signing autographs taking pictures the screening starts at 7:00 and there'll be a QA to follow you can get more information as well as seeing the trailer by checking out the link in the description also don't forget to check us out at Planet [ __ ] Con in Iowa June 21st to the 23rd and you can see me at Salt City khand in New York July 6 to the 7th hopefully we'll see you all there [Applause] so the kids tell the grandparents about the egg the grandparents say a bird lady down the way might know what kind of egg it is so they decide to go there [Music] forgiveness we seem to have entered Edward Scissorhands Jurassic Flicka Park don't worry one of many friendly bears is ripping my insides out huh I'm so happy I can and will die whoa this bird lady has a wicked stache no wonder everyone's happy all the time if they have the second half smells next door some call it kidnapping I call it relocating their souls Jesus a pee-wee Herman had a bird house it be a conservative Church compared to this this is my life really forgive me I pulled a muscle and now my face is stuck like this Oh what first nightmare my future will be well we would have find out she touches me in wrong choices they sing a song about hatching the egg and apparently the movies so bored they count reading as a musical number [Music] using your imagination kids you can imagine this being more entertaining huh what does this thing have to do with studying Birds big adds a different color stripe as they can't figure out what kind of animal could be inside thank God film was used to capture that they find a book that has a picture of the egg on the cover and it says there's a dream maker inside every thousand years or so an egg falls from the skies for boys and girls around the world for children everywhere science they say when the eggs rings all light up it has to be back to where it landed in order for it to hatch but Cody accidentally knocks it on the bird seed truck and it drives off with it Barney this is serious stop smiling the bird seed deliver it drives off while making an ice cream shake with a machine built into his truck I am way too okay with this thing existing in most vehicles well doing that though he accidentally drives him to the Apple Festival Parade with Barney following [Music] how the hell did that happen I'd seen that too a square peg fit in a round hole is easier than what you did there yes you have to know the Barney bid those in order to follow that they find the egg in the middle of the parade which thank God is positioned in the middle of a bizarrely egg kneading song number seriously that egg must have showed up to rehearsals it gets launched in this club by a character named BJ well he's gonna have a lot of fun in school it gets lost again though and they follow it into a restaurant we have a strict no Kraft macaroni and cheese mascots in this establishment creates a distraction so they can go looking for the egg without anyone noticing tennis you can see it's working great that dudes looking like I had no idea purple dinosaurs were my fetish my life is made and destroyed at the same time hey kids still learning to read have fun with this do it please see the party knows French why is that the weirdest thing to me in this movie the restaurant tells him that they sent the egg to the circus as they assumed it was a joke from them Hugh knows circus is sending eggs to random restaurants Barney says it's a thing may lose the egg at the circus and hide inside during a storm man just in time as it appears the editor is so anxious to end the stinker he starts cutting off Barney's dialog when the rain stops we can look around some more we already looked around yeah that wasn't me it was edited that way then maybe we can find it we already looked around maybe the director pulled out his vocal cords we discovered he runs a tantric sex business on the side no don't play the rest of that clip we're gonna address this the actual actor of Barney runs a tantric sex business you are every flavour of welcome for that and just in case you thought Barney couldn't pull off serious moments here's proof that you're right not since Citizen Kane said rosebud and walked quietly down an endless abyss of mirrors with only himself staring back has a moment of silent reflection been so beautifully captured or it just looks like an awkward smiling chucky cheese performer lost outside the arcade [Music] even the kids are done with this [ __ ] just run clipper the dog and we'll call it a day because the kids are sheep they give in to the madness but not before a little Barney R&B though nailed that demographic they go outside to continue looking for the AEGON while Barney should never be shot from that angle oh my god this purple myth just kicked in and you're looking like Willy Wonka painted over Jack Skellington man meth kids they're told the egg is by the incredibly timeless balloon effects as somebody is taking it up with them she's gonna take some imagination Barney I don't recall ever working that into my rhetoric did you really say imagination oh yeah it's been kind of an unusual day okay Cody's my spirit animal they get on board a log and try to pretend it's a plane I think we need your help I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly nope [Music] now of course they start flying because this movies rigged and they try to make it to the balloon with the egg yeah can you imagine a higher effects budget when you get a chance well bowling is looking like frozen to compare to this they come across the guy who has it and let's see if his accent is just as subtle as his mugging subtler they catch the egg and fly back home where the grandparents see them playing [Music] stand back I saw this guy on To Catch a Predator someone let Chris Hansen out of jail and put this guy in this place BJ also joins the gang that's a hard one the last ring lights up and they put the egg back in the farm where it hatches ah [Music] it's so disappointing like the villain from Rainbow Brite made it with an Ewok an impossible love meant to stay impossible sounds like a Winnie the Pooh prostitute we've really shouldn't dictate it's life choices early it shows their dreams and visions because magic I guess as Cody reveals he was a doofus for not appreciating Barney earlier no don't give in to the dark side I was a big doofus before I think you're pretty cool enough to accept years of school bullying for taking on this role god I hope this is a good paycheck twink it flies away and apparently shows what Barney's dream is it's a special time a special place and sharing it all with the people I love where he exploded maybe his lifespan was only a few minutes I don't know dreams of course they sing I love you you love me as they enjoy being one big happy family with the parents nowhere in sight the film even ends by making it clear no dinosaurs were harmed during the making of this film no thankfully they've been dead for millions of years before any real damage could befall them Barney's great adventure is a stupid annoying and pointless as you would think but for little little kids it's not doing any wrong it has no charm but it has no bad messages either apart from just believe hard enough and you can fly okay that can easily be taken the wrong way but I've yet to see any injuries from it Barney won't last like many other great media for little children but as fans go there are the worst ones this one was just an easy target and you can see why is it awful no is it good hell no it's just a waste of time for little kids to forget about shortly after is it better to show them something with more emotional connections as much as informational connections absolutely but I can't see this doing anyone any harm just getting on peoples nerves a cinematic misdemeanor in my book but it's not an annoying one to say the least maybe Barney would have turned out better if he actually had a good sense of humor and the dinosaur could use help - he's a nostalgia critic and he's gonna remember that Oh hey Doug Walker here JDRF diabetes research is this week's charity shout out JDRF is leading the fight against type 1 diabetes by funding research advocating for policies that accelerate access to new therapies and providing a support network for millions of people around the world impacted by this disease this is the world's largest nonprofit funder of type 1 diabetes research their in-house scientists oversee a diverse portfolio of research tracks leaving no stone unturned in their search for a cure while their focus is curing type 1 diabetes they also pursue new treatments to keep people with this illness healthy until that day comes outside of the lab they push for increased government funding for research and work with academia clinicians insurers and regulators to get new therapies and devices to market quickly and safely if you look at their site you can not only see all the good they're doing with the breakthroughs they're constantly coming up with but also why they have an A rating on charity watch click on the link and play a part in helping these people bring type 1 diabetes finally to a close you you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,405,406

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, barney's great adventure, barney, barney movie, barney the dinosaur, barney the dinosaur movie, movie review, film review, barney the dinosaur review, barney's great adventure review, barney the dinosaur movie review, doug walker, barney show, barney & friends, kids shows, kids movies, movie reviews, movie critic, film reviews, nostalgic movies, 90s movies, movie, film

Id: WaCGz8vUBvI

Length: 29min 20sec (1760 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 19 2019