Award Winning Performances | Taskmaster

[Music] so [Music] that's a green screen hello hi lily my old friend green screen like a big snooker table oh brilliant choreograph a dance for you and alex to perform to any of the following ringtones apex by the seaside night owl playtime radiate censure circuit crystals uplift marimba strum you have 30 minutes to prepare most stylish dance wins your time starts now let's have a [Music] listen let's go [Music] 104 why did you get on the table mate mind your own business what was it it was 1996 for you oh awesome barely remember it that's all the old whistles bandanas trance just came in the whistle sort of blow the whistle bring it all back is it like that oh yes sorry i thought you were just stopping me talking if only we'd known it was that easy because we see a raving we can start with you yeah yeah let's see here there is an unfortunate amount of my flesh in this one near the end so is this our dance yes what do you think it was yeah it wasn't the other thing we did so this is mel stance is this censure [Applause] so [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] yes this is what accenture is [Applause] what we were looking for i think alex will agree with me is the the the beauty of censure contrasting the gritty urban landscape of mid-90s pre-rave britain oh yeah the only problem was it wasn't century it was radiate but apart from that you read the cd wrong but it was but there yeah there were two back alleys in that video should we have a look at alex's back alley i like to imagine that in his back alley there's a tiny melon alex dancing [Music] hello hello hello hello you oh yeah hello hello hello oh all right do you do we do we strike you should i take the attachments would you like to yes i suppose so yeah i'll take the time yeah thank you oh we can so do this i write and perform a song about this woman wins you have five minutes to talk to the woman and then 30 minutes to write her a song the time starts now so we need to gather as much information as we can hi so what's your name rosalind where are you from originally southport what do you do for a living yeah um japanese translator do you have children yes got two sons two are they good men yes they're a bit inept at things but that's fine what do you do to pass your time i'm an athletics official track judge and i do long jump under the sprints long jumper who's your favorite band of all time music guys it might lead us to some music good idea like mozart mozart mozart one of my favorite bands as well have you stolen much in your life yeah well when i was about 10 i used to do a little bit of sort of sweetie shoplifting with my best friend elaine i also play the cello great do you play cello with anyone or on youtube yeah string quartet yeah my husband and a couple of friends and what's the name of your um my husband is called alan and did you ever do it in public or was it just yeah it's not normally when people are sitting in rows watching it's it's just the sound do you eat meat um as long as it's kosher which what's your favorite meat chicken chickens what's your favorite film oh hangover hangover one or two oh favorite food oh beans on toast yeah quite right are the other two in the string quartet are they a couple as well they used to be and then one got um septicemia so he lost the use of three fingers in his left hand would you like to be able to fly no [Applause] bob's first four questions do we strike you have you ever stolen what is your favorite meat would you like to be able to fly thankfully you have teammates to take up the slap do you want to see uh mark and nish first yes i do please okay so this for the first time ever is mark and nish's song for a stranger hello great britain hello how are you all feeling out there we're all fine thank you and now's the time that you've all been waiting for the band good evening london uh we are the uh the diverse stripes i am jack brown and this is my wife sister mark this is uh called i'm always seeing you open brackets do cool stuff close brackets all right and one two three four [Music] oh yeah i saw you translate a poem from japanese it looks so tricky but you did it with these i saw you judging long jump at the athletics i felt so low cause i was born i'm just pathetic i'm always seeing you do cool stuff i try my best but it's never good enough i saw you watch the hangover dvd but i was busy with the hangover pup 3 i saw you listening to the mozart symphony but my attention span is hey look at that tree two three four i'm always seeing you do cool stuff i try my best for this good enough i wanna serve your beans on toast but it's a fantasy it's nothing but a boast you come from south but i'll have miles of wayne bala and i'm a coward and i feel a rather valid i'm always seeing you i try my best but it's never good enough good enough one more time [Music] i'm always seeing you do cool stuff i try my best but it's never good enough [Applause] i mean unbelievable right you just thought mark watson was a drummer i think you may have just shaken off the whole heron thing i had no idea no idea could sing or play guitar that was a miracle i think and all that time she just sat there absolutely no expression and this is the first time in an entire series where i've got nothing negative to say congratulations on your brilliant song [Music] hi oh hello rose i'm already annoyed with this one because because there's music there's music here and i can't i can't read music and i have no musical talent write the best lyrics to the task master theme tune and perform them in the most memorable way you have 30 minutes your time starts now okay i have to tell you something i've never watched taskmaster right what do you think the theme tune is ah i can't really recall so we allowed to play it or is that why i've got the music how do you think it goes no because every time i do it i end up singing league of gentlemen uh there's some music here i do read music you've had a number one yeah i did four times [Music] masters oh bollocks [Music] the the casualty i think isn't it good for at least one person here has got four number ones to his name so this is going to be incredible here he is in action david sorry one two three four tasks master's on now task master's on [Music] it is not hang on it's not how it is it is not how the program from 1970s with fred dynage [Music] yourself down on your sofa right there in your own town [Applause] is there any wonder we never won the world cup the quality of the song yeah i can deal with that quickly okay but but we are marking it on and the way it being performed being memorable most memorable performance that was pretty memorable his site read the music you played it correctly yeah i mean he didn't listen to the go and listen to the theme tune he just we'll come back to it there are elements i enjoy very much and i am impressed that you can uh sight read music yes the bar is set at a height okay [Applause] [Music] oh wow hello hi hello where's oh he's in there isn't he alex yes show yourself not show you just show your face oh you look like a pretty lovely little girl yeah that was like a royal birth you want to do the honors okay perform a scene from task master the musical best scene wins you have one hour oh your time starts now sick i hate musicals i said what's the point just say it don't sing dick we know it's raining musical instruments in there yes oh there's a musical instruments musical instruments in it yeah all right sure i think we need to have a sit yes [Applause] i think we can all agree um that the musical is a loathsome art form can't we of course a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down not if you're diabetic yeah i like cuticles do you i think they're sort of uplifting and weird oh i think they're sickening yeah can't truly be the friend of anyone who likes them so okay we're gonna see the team of three first let's see it okay hello i'm alex horne this is task master task must be done my first task is to find my son here i am and the task is done now another task must be done my first task is to find my mom [Music] the task is of tasks lots of fun [Music] well maybe i do like the musical it was really beautiful yeah i gotta say like tim vinery is a lovely man wonderful man but he's [ __ ] weird and this is very much a tim timbine production i thought it was intriguing but there wasn't much of a story there wasn't much of a narrative the son had lost his mum the moment lost the son and then oh here they are there are hollywood films with less plot sure sure [Music] [Applause] [Music] hello sunshine hello hello oh hey al thanks do it it's on the hangar it is oh god oh write and perform the most suspenseful soap opera cliffhanger your scene may last no more than one minute you have 30 minutes how many 30 minutes to write a one minute scene your time starts now right write and perform i've already written mine in my head phil's pregnant yeah okay does he keep it one of us has got the other one pregnant that doesn't work does it i quite like to do a fight yeah we should definitely have a cat fight so one of us is pregnant how are the other ones how are you stage fighting oh you went the wrong way [Applause] i may have implied from time to time uh during this series that kerry goddlerman takes on the persona of phil mitchell in her approach to tasks which is sometimes right i see what we're doing let's do it bosh um be interesting to see which way you go oh this is spinning right bosh who are we seeing first okay the first cliffhanger we're gonna see is [Music] the boys what are attempt doing in here and while i told you about looking doors in this house we don't have locked doors in this house i mean waiting downstairs for you nine months you've not been out of this bathroom at nine months why are you playing that i've been waiting for my dinner i'm starving meanwhile you're in here are you okay sorry for anything are you eating all the food is that what you've been doing nine months in the bath eating all my dinner what are you gonna say for yourself no james are not fat i'm pregnant really i'm going to be a dad well if if you want to bring our little baby into the world then i want to make an honest woman of you [Music] will you marry me if i'm gonna be an honest woman james then i better start telling the truth there's someone else [Applause] my heart is broken rubber dub dub the premise of your soap opera is that a woman has been sitting in the bath for nine months [Applause] just dating a baby that's right yes yes okay um and having an affair at the same time okay no wait the husband's clearly agitated i was very wound up what's he been doing for nine months he's been downstairs waiting for his dinner did you give your uh nasty misogynist character a name ah gus gus yes yeah he's coming in he's furious yeah but because she should she's a woman she should have provided the food you've been waiting for nine months you're nearly dead yes she then tell the streets i'm pregnant yes philippa philip sorry that's okay and then there's a touching moment between phillip and gus yeah so we finally break through i thought that bit of acting was okay this is where the real twist comes the lover is revealed lovely cliffhanger yes but i'm confused rod's character's only vocabulary in the whole scene is uh the phrase robert would it help if i told you that their soap is called feelings and there is a theme tune to it can we see it yeah this is the theme tune to feeling okay everybody's got feelings feelings hurt and feel good everybody's got feelings feelings hurt and feel good [Applause] [Music] hello hello oh don't bang your head did a bit okay hello rose ah thank you oh serenade yourself you have 20 minutes to perform and receive your serenade most sensational self serenade wins your time starts now oh i've never been serenaded before i don't know what it feels like have you ever serenaded someone never two firsts um do you have a heart a harp yeah i've done it you finished yeah quick i don't like to think too much about these things also i've had four number ones with lyrics that i wrote yeah you mentioned that before yeah didn't really think that much about them [Applause] i'm just supposed to write a serenade now am i oh god [Applause] katie asked for a harp there yeah she's not here sadly for us to ask whether she can play the half no she can't play the harm so last to compose some pros with a rose is rose here we go [Music] there's no smell as sweeter as my little chickata i'm hoping that it's okay if i order up okay stop it well you're acting rather thorny and it's getting me quite horny i'm flashing come on baby light my fire i promise not to fertilize yeah well i can't believe i meet you and this suburban garden center to love oneself is taboo but as a matter of fail i love you bravo what an amazing song for me i'm flatted what a wonderfully modern beautiful song yeah because not only did you express your love you guarantee that you wouldn't be impregnating yourself was very consensual phew for more task master subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 168,025

Rating: 4.9611993 out of 5

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster

Id: UQsdk1TXE40

Length: 23min 59sec (1439 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 21 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Zhoenish]

This is why she is one of my favorites.