Attacked by Body Positivity...

[Music] guys gals non-binary pals today we're going to be talking about a video that was sent in to my discord so if you haven't joined the discord yet i highly recommend it'll be linked down below over 13 000 people in there now also i do want to say if you're watching this and you're not subscribed i know like 50 of y'all are not subscribed so just hit that subscribe button for me okay i would really appreciate it thank you so much okay so today we're going to be talking uh about a video that is by the creator by the name of coco chanu i think um but the title of the video is why the body positivity movement is toxic with a lot of exclamation points okay she's very serious she's not playing any games today my friends alrighty so let's see what she has to say about the toxic body positivity community hi guys it's coco welcome back to my channel you guys have not seen me on this channel for about a year now almost a year and since then a lot has changed i actually do have a new nose and a notion there's a video on that on my vlog channel that you can go to we love a new nose girl blue hair now but yeah i have been mia from this channel for about a year now because i honestly felt i've been making advice videos for so long there was nothing new that i wanted to talk about and i felt really uninspired and i personally really want to make content that i love to make and that i enjoy a lot and so that's why i've been gone because i just kind of didn't know what to do with this channel anymore i'm that i always think about that people always ask me like oh are you ever um are you like what are you worried about like your channel like but your boy loves to talk about anything and everything you know so i don't know if i'm ever gonna have that problem and i did not want to give you guys content that i did not like making but there's something that i've recently discovered about myself that i absolutely adore and that we are going to be doing today and that is having opinions i used to be the most quiet girl you've ever met because i was just so deadly afraid of ever hurting anyone's feelings but i've recently as i've grown older learned that you are allowed to have an opinion actually it's important for you to have an opinion it's important that we live in a world as well where it's okay to share opinions and to talk about things and i feel like we live in a world these days where you're encouraged to stay silent and to just not express if you feel differently about something um and i just want to be different when it comes to that i love having a debate i love having a good discussion so this channel i don't know how many times gonna be uploading i think every time i so i can i can relate to this a little bit um i think like when i first started my channel i was always kind of afraid of sharing what i think about things obviously that's no longer the case anymore um but i think to add to what she said and i think this is an important distinction i think like you should not be afraid to share your opinions but also you should be willing to change your opinions if someone brings up some information that makes you question maybe what you believe um i think a lot of people when they think oh i'm sharing this opinion it is now therefore fact and no one can change my mind i think you should be willing to share your opinion but also be willing to have that opinion changed if uh better information you know comes to you my opinion which i'm sharing because that's what i do all right i feel strongly about something i'm going to be uploading a video so today we're going to be talking about the body positive community if you read this title and you are ready to start screaming at me i would encourage you to wait a little bit i talked about this on tick tock as well and my experience is that people just start screaming at me as soon as i finish my first sentence but they end up screaming at me about something that i haven't said but they just kind of assumed that i would say and they kind of missed the mark because of that so please watch the video watch what i have to say before you voice your opinion because there's a big chance that whatever you are about to type right now was not actually how i felt at all or anything that i was actually going to say but today i want to talk now i one thousand 000 deal with this but it's my own fault and i'm fully willing to take ownership of this um but ya boy hey my my titles and thumbnails a lot of times uh would would people call them clickbait yes i'm sure some people would i like to say that they are uh you know extreme or they're sensationalized um but that gets people to click on the video and i think that if it gets people to click on the video and you're still talking about the topic but maybe you are subverting their expectations with the actual uh content that is inside of the video i think that that's okay uh but i definitely deal with uh comments of like people that say stuff and i'm it's very clear they haven't actually read or watched the video and you know i'm just like it is what it is about why the body positivity movement is very toxic let's get into it so at its core as a woman myself the body positive community is something that really resonates with me and that i would love to be an ally of and something that maybe could even be beneficial for me as someone who has struggled with her body her entire life i personally think i have some sort of so um i think like hearing this right here right a lot of people the knee-jerk reaction is you wanna almost play the comparison game right like it's like okay this is a pretty white girl that you know has whatever right is straight sized and it's like how can you possibly want to be body positive when you have all of these things going for you when for me i'm i have this thing i have this thing i'm bigger than you here i have this issue like that's the thing that so many people want to do and i feel like that's so not productive in any way like to try and make yourself more of like a quote unquote like victim than someone i just i don't think that that's very helpful the body dysmorphia i just always feel like i look really terrible and it's just always been a running theme in my life that me and my body have struggled a lot and me accepting my body has been a difficult topic for me i am aware that i am not overweight but just because i'm not overweight does not mean that you know that i have never struggled with body image you do not have to be overweight to have a rocky relationship with your body that is so true right there and i mean like obviously i have been overweight but like i have obviously had friends that weren't overweight that also struggle with their body and it's one of those things that's really frustrating um and this is something that i used to do okay and i'll take ownership of this something that i used to do is if there was someone around me that when i was you know close to 400 pounds there was someone around me that would complain about being overweight i would be like oh my god whatever how can you even say that i'm so much bigger than you right i wouldn't say it exactly like that maybe i would just think it right i'd be like i'd i'd love to be your size but just because you might be feeling a certain way or you might have a certain issue that doesn't mean that this person's genuine struggles that they're having are no longer valued valid because you in your mind think that your struggles are more than theirs and that's something that happens a lot especially online as a woman or as a guy because when it comes to body positivity like yes in the media for women we only see a certain type of body but how about men how many men have you ever seen in the movie that were not ripped and that did not have a six-pack you know it's like it's for for everyone i think literally everyone can have struggles with their body so with the min thing i think i i don't want to say i disagree but i do i do i do kind of disagree i do think that there are and this has been shown like there are more men's bodies different types of bodies that are in popular media right they might not be the best representations and like it's like the fat guy is always funny right that's the funny fat guy trope that i know a lot of dudes just like me you see it so much growing up that when you become the fat guy you almost automatically feel like you have to be funny because that's literally all you ever see in media is the funny fat guy but i will say at least for the most part at least there's that little bit of representation for dudes because for women like up until very recently it's been no overweight women for the most part compared to how many men there are so however i do understand that body positivity is meant for a certain group of people that have struggled with society's view of them because of their body and their weight and so it's meant for plus-size people i get it so i would like to just like leave it to you it's sad to me i would love to be able to be a part of a positive community about uplifting each other and being there for each other but i understand why i'm not a part of it because there are some things some struggles that i have personally not experienced that i would need to have experience in order to understand and to be able to be a part of it but i'd love to say that i'm an ally of it because in some ways as a girl i can relate to the struggles i have spent hours and hours crying in zara dressing rooms because not even the biggest size in the store fit me okay but where does this story start where does my personal struggle with this community start a couple of weeks ago i posted a video on tick tock where i was squeezing my fat and it was a positive video it was a self-love video it was just like i love my fat and i love this is my favorite part of being a curvy girl so um she she she doesn't show the tick tock but i actually have it so i'm gonna we're gonna we're gonna watch the tick tock it's nothing super crazy to be honest we're not gonna listen to the audio because again like dmca and stuff but uh this is the um this is the tick tock that she posted um we're gonna look at the comments they are all in not english but um a lot of like the comments are like oh curvy and like just a lot of them are are being like basically dismissive right like you're not actually like that's not curvy right that's one right here on curve this um this is already curved i mean a lot of these are broken english because it's translated um you're not curvy but okay um it's like it again it's like these things where it's we're gonna comp let me compare myself it i don't know so she goes into it though she goes into it a little bit more so let's continue watching the video now mind you i have always thought that the term curvy just meant having curves i have a very curvy body and i just always assumed that that was what it meant and i i wonder if i wonder if any of this has to do with just differences in uh cultural cultures too because i know that she's from the netherlands i think or just somewhere that's not america obviously um and so i wonder if there's that difference as well maybe that maybe i'm wrong there though because a lot of those comments were obviously not in english so i don't yeah i don't know though but that's something that you hear a lot of it's like it's like curvy has now become designated as it almost like you can almost only call yourself curvy if you are really overweight and so even if you're kind of overweight or you genuinely do have curves and you like have bigger hips and bigger breasts it's almost like you can't call yourself curvy anymore because now curvy doesn't actually mean curvy it means overweight which again it's like all semantics that i feel like is it's just so convoluted at times but those curves that i have they're made out of fat so i'm so happy for the fat that i have and it's a big step for me personally towards loving myself that i've gotten to this point now that i love the fact that i have this extra fat and the way that it gives me shape for me big step so when i posted this video mind you i did not tag it body positive body positivity i did not talk about body positivity all it was was just literally me appreciating my fat for how it makes me look how it makes me feel and how i've learned to accept it but if i say that this community the body positive movement was the one that came after me and showered me in hate you guys it was actually intense yeah this is this is something that definitely definitely happens i know that there is um there have been other videos that talk about this especially on tick tock it seems to be the biggest issue but it's like i think there's been a video where it's like someone posted literally side by side it's this almost the same exact video i think it might be the same exact sound on tick tock where it's like one girl is skinnier doing this thing and then another video is a woman that is uh bigger that's doing the thing and like all the comments on the bigger woman's tech talk were all like really positive and really nice and really uplifting but then all of the vid all the comments or a lot of the comments on the the woman who was maybe more straight sized were all very very mean like really really mean and so it's like why is it it's like why is it okay to be mean to one group of people but then it's not okay to be mean to another group like obviously for me don't be mean to anybody i think it's pretty simple uh but that's definitely something you see a lot of especially on tick tock and that i think is toxic i'm sorry i think it's toxic the fact that a community that is based on loving and accepting each other can take that core message as a means to attack women because maybe they frustrate you maybe they make you feel like she doesn't know the struggle that i go through the fact that it gives you any type of a feeling that you are allowed to make another woman feel bad about herself or shower her in hate toxic hypocritical i think it's a terrible terrible thing so first of all the thing that most people were super mad at me about is the fact that i would call myself curvy first of all i did not know that this term was used in a different way by this community because i'm not part of this community how am i supposed to know how every single world word in the world that's what i'm gonna say makes everyone feel that's an impossible task if i'm not part of this community there's no way for me to know that kirby means plus size now and i was just not informed the thing is is like it it just means something different to different people that's the thing that's like really frustrating it can be very confusing is that it might mean it might mean a certain thing to one group of people but it means something completely different to another group of people and so it's the thing for me is like when we talk about these um was it adjectives descriptors i don't know i shouldn't have even tried that uh but when we talk about these like descriptors it's like when does when do you cross the line of uh when are you when do you cross the line of being straight-sized and then when are you allowed to call yourself curvy and then from curvy when when are you allowed to call yourself like fat right because there's a lot of um a lot of the movement now is trying to um is trying to take back the word fat so like people are like owning um owning the the word fat like it's just i don't know i don't know if i'm making any sense second of all a lot of people are like kirby you're not curvy because kirby starts from a size 40 pants i actually have a size 42 pen so if you're gonna use that kind of rhetoric on me i would qualify as kirby yo she's getting heated though but i understand because i never meant to call myself plus size i just meant that i have curves which i do you can fight me on it but i do they're oh she said fight me i'll snap made out of fat and i love them and i thought that i was curvy but this gatekeeping of a word how is that supposed to be productive if you have a message that you're trying to spread how is gate keeping a word and telling people they suck for using it even though you know from the video from whole context they meant no harm at all how is that productive start focusing on going after people that actually do harm yeah i mean i can i can agree with this like um i think that it's you know people might have good intentions by kind of trying to educate and it's like one thing it's like it's one thing to maybe try and educate someone but then it's another thing to be condescending and try and make them almost feel bad for you know saying that they're curvy right like there's two different ways to go about that and i don't think trying to be super condescending to someone is really gonna help that much that actually post [ __ ] that's harmful to other people that makes other people feel shitty about themselves not just some random girl on the internet appreciating her fat that's wrong it's stupid i'm sorry it's so stupid that people go after each other these days in my opinion when they know from context that this person meant no harm but because they used to i'm sorry she reminds me a lot of myself when i like in these videos i start off very chill and then i just ramp up and get more and more like heated so that's why i was like laughing earlier because it just reminds me of myself wrong word a wrong term whatever they said something i don't even know like in a wrong tone in their opinion if you can obviously tell this person meant no harm just booger off it's so unproductive i don't understand all it does is it makes people like me feel like your community is nitpicking people and attacking people for no reason when this person may personally meant no harm at all and i think that a big thing that she's kind of brought up is she wasn't hashtagging body positivity she wasn't even she wasn't calling herself body positive at all like she wasn't saying any of that stuff so she wasn't even trying to take the movement and use it as her own like she wasn't even she didn't even mention it right so i think that that's really important because it would be one thing if maybe she was like hashtag body positivity and she's like i'm trying to be a body positive content creator and now i'm body positive and yadda yadda because i understand that people get upset with that because you know for reasons but like that didn't even happen here she didn't even hashtag it or say that she was or mention it at all and she's still getting this you know these comments and stuff which i do think is wrong all i wanted to do was appreciate my body i didn't even talk about any other type of body all i did was just say i love my body and if that upsets you in any way i think that's ludicrous i think that's absolutely ludicrous and the fact that i so the reason this is a hot take so i might get canceled for this one um i think the reason that so many people get mad is a lot of people that claim body positivity a lot that are really really active um aren't body positive i think that's what's going on here and so like they get upset when someone is being positive about their body that's my hot take i might get cancelled i'm just saying didn't even call it body positive i never said that i never wanted to pretend like i wanted to speak on behalf of this movement at all because i know you don't need me to because i know that i'm not part of the people that are in this movement and that can speak on behalf of this movement so the and the reason that i say that is because like if you truly were body positive why would you care like uh the way i know i always bring this up but like if we're talking about loose skin here right if i i claim that i'm pretty happy with my body right i claim that i don't i don't want surgery all this stuff right could you imagine if i said that right i say that all the time but then y'all saw me commenting on other people's pictures where they have a little bit of loose skin maybe less than me or something right and i commented how dare you actually be positive about your body or how dare you actually get surgery you should be blah blah blah it would be so obvious that it's like what john actually hates his loose skin like it's very clear to me that john isn't actually happy with his body i think it would be very obvious right that's all i'm saying but the fact that a movement based on love and acceptance goes after women and makes hates on them and makes them feel shitty about themselves for whatever reason i think it should not be acceptable if you're a body positive movement there is that you should basically in no case ever disrespect someone for their body even if that body is skinny or whatever that makes you feel like they don't have struggles because you don't know you don't know what someone is going through even if they look like maybe they don't have struggles with their body you don't know they might as well also have a handicap you don't know what's going on with someone that they might feel like they would love to be a part of this movement of like love and light and to be this negative and derogatory towards those women disgusting disgusting i think no one should ever ever shame anyone else for anything especially not if you're part of this positive movement about loving each other another experience that i personally had is so i think it's totally okay that everyone will love themselves for who they are what they look like the shape that they're in it's your choice it's your life i respect you if you want to be and i don't want to make the sound drugstore but i'm just using words because they are descriptive and i'm trying to get a point across i'm laughing because the same i do the same thing y'all y'all know i'm just like that and not to be hurtful that's something too sometimes words are just meant to describe something sometimes someone doesn't mean it in a bad way but they are just trying to use a word to describe something that just exists and that is there and they just mean it in a factual way just wanted to put that out there if someone chooses that they would like to be overweight i'm not one of the people that will tell you that you're not allowed to do that because it's unhealthy man i don't really understand this argument because to me personally there's so much in this world that's not healthy you know people smoke there's people who are skinny that are unhealthy i mean health shaming to me is just kind of stupid because i'm like we're all unhealthy have you ever been outside and like took a breath and smelled all the gases in the air from the cars like no life is not healthy anymore at all i think just health shaming is stupid but that's just my opinion because i feel like it's like nitpicking on this one thing like weight even though there's so much around us that's unhealthy like literally everything we eat and drink is almost like unhealthy so i agree with this to a certain extent and you guys have heard you guys have heard me kind of talk about this a few times like when it comes to like health at every size i would say i agree with most of it but it's like when we talk about the extremes is where i'm like okay well like if you're to a point where your weight is so low that it's causing you issues then that's a problem and same thing if your weight is very high and it's causing you issues that is a problem right uh but i get i would say for the most part for the most part i agree with what you were saying so like if we are going to start doing that health shaming each other like that's a whole nother realm of there's so much that we should shape each other for it and not just wait i think it's just like an easy argument for people but if someone chooses that they are comfortable being at the weight that they are and they want to stay that way they do not feel like they want to lose weight absolutely fine by me i absolutely respect you you do you but if someone decides that they do want to lose weight i in my case personally a couple of months ago i had gained a ton of weight and i was starting to feel the effects on my body you could tell me that that's not true but it is because i felt it i could feel that i was taking naps all day because i had no energy i was really really sluggish and it was due to my eating habits and the fact that i was not taking care of myself and the fact that i was putting on a ton of weight and at that point i decided that for me i wanted to lose weight out of self-love because taking care of yourself is a form of self-love hey i've said that many many times i think that when it comes to when it comes to losing weight i think a lot of people that are like really really into i don't even want to just say body positivity because i feel like that's not even just what it is but like the health at every size kind of movement it seems like everyone thinks that if you try and lose weight it all like it can't possibly come from a place of self-love and i just i just fully disagree with that because the things that i was doing to myself when i was at my heaviest we're so far from self-love it's it's not even funny like it's not even funny there's no comparison to the way that i was living my life when i was at my heaviest to the way that i live my life now the respect that i have for my body the respect that i have for you know the things that i'm able to do the the respect and and the effort that i put in to take care of this one body that i have that i wasn't doing when i was younger i just didn't care i didn't care and so for some people gaining weight absolutely can be a form of self-love absolutely but on this and that's something that a lot of body body positive people will agree with right that's something that a lot of body positive people will agree with gain weight it's totally fine but at this on the same you know other side of the coin that can be the same exact thing for someone that's trying to lose weight they can be doing that as a form of self-love and it seems like we talk so much about how oh weight loss is is toxic or weight loss is it's bad it's it's like this terrible thing that you're doing to your body your body doesn't want to lose weight it's so bad for you not everyone is on that like is there like a lot of people if you start taking care of your body and doing you know and like eating correctly and moving you will lose weight and there's nothing wrong with that and you should never have to feel bad about that and sometimes taking care of yourself means not being overweight to some people that's different for everyone but for me taking care of myself meant losing some weight and so i did and i felt so much better about myself and then i shared this video about it and i shared this video about the fact that i was so addicted to food and that it took me a little while to wean off of my addiction for food in order to start to be able to eat normal portions again and everything and i just shared my like positive story about how i did it how i overcame this problem that i had with food and how i lost weight and i felt a ton better and i thought that because this was not something that was motivated by looks or whatever it was motivated by help and how i felt that i would get positive feedback but no the feedback that i got was that i was being harmful making people feel terrible about themselves and that i was just basically an all-around disgusting human being and to me a community that's focused on love and acceptance should not shame someone if they choose that for them that point in their life it would be a good idea to lose some weight that is so hypocritical to me like my brain cannot even compute the hypocrisy of preaching acceptance but then hating on someone for whatever reason it is so i yeah of course i agree with that but i think you know to add context to this uh i do think that there are genuinely and i mean this is stuff that we talk about here on the channel quite a bit right there are genuinely some garbage messages with uh in the fitness industry and in the weight loss industry that i do think need to be called out but i think i don't even think i know people get overzealous and they they think that any mention of losing weight or trying to take better care of your health is all of a sudden lumped together with that and there they are there are differences there is nuance there that i think is important to be extrapolated and like sifted through and find out what is helping what's not helping and like find those things out so many people get it's like oh weight loss bad weight gain good it's like no no it is so there's so much more to it than just that and if you think it's that simple i'm sorry but i disagree so that was my personal opinion on the topic i don't want to say that this is everyone i know there's a lot of middle ground but what i noticed was that when this happened and i was attacked for no reason on tick tock nobody from this community stood up for me and said hey guys this is not cool you're not supposed to hate on a girl that means no harm that didn't even call it body positive that is just literally randomly saying that she likes herself and that she likes her fat not cool you guys don't attack her no one stood up for me i feel like in a community it's so important as well to be able to look inward and to see where it goes wrong where people abuse this idea to hate on someone and to cause harm to another human being and to stand up for that but that did not happen and to me that was so sad that's the reason that i wanted to talk about this i would love i i and i agree with that and that's like one thing that i i i've done a lot of that in the past like year um kind of looking inward and i think that you know about a year ago a little over a year ago i was a lot a lot more hostile to health at every size and body positivity and i'm sure if you're like really really in that community you probably like you still are which you know that's fine but i think in my in my heart i've i've been able to open myself up to that to those arguments a little bit more and try trying to see um the other side and i think that's important for anyone to do um and i hope that more people from that community will will do that because i think that that only leads to people kind of finding the middle ground a little bit more i have so many things that i would love to talk to you guys about that i feel a certain way about i would love to have an open discussion with you i'd love to learn um and also sometimes just because someone is okay with learning does not mean that i will necessarily always agree with what you have to say sometimes even if someone educates you that does not mean that you have to agree with what they're saying just because they are trying to educate you you can still disagree with them you do not have to agree with someone just because they know more about the topic than you do and they're just giving you information about it you can still have a different opinion on a certain topic you know so anyway i wanted to put that out there because that's something okay so i mean that's pretty much everything um i think that this was you know this is a really interesting video and i mean these are things that i've talked a lot about in the past i haven't mentioned it as much recently i've been kind of more on a i've been kind of more uh talking about the other side of like bs diet or uh yeah like diet culture and fitness industry bs and all that stuff um but i i thought that this was a really good video that does point out some of the um that does point out some of the hypocrisy that you see and i think it's important to point that out uh whenever you see it

Channel: ObesetoBeast

Views: 91,122

Rating: 4.9342217 out of 5

Keywords: john glaude, obesetobeast, body positivity, virgie tovar

Id: 5vFvjhCzDHc

Length: 33min 4sec (1984 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021