-Welcome back.
It's so good to see you. -Thank you, man.
-I like introducing you. I just introduced you
for the game. -I got a double intro.
-A double intro. Yeah, that's a the new thing.
-It's in the contract now. -Yeah, every time,
you have to do it. -No, I'm never doing a show
again without the double intro. -I always love seeing you
and was happy to go out to dinner
with you a couple weeks ago. -It was great.
-Thanks for doing that with me. -It was so nice. -Due, you kind of schooled me
on that ChatGPT or whatever. -ChatGPT-3, yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] Right? -Dude --
-Hold on. If you haven't
checked this thing out, just go home and just try it. You're going to get --
It's, like, mind-bonkers
how unbelievable this thing is. -It's crazy. Do you know that we've known
each other for 20 years? -Two decades.
-Is that wild? 2003 -- -Jimmy, we knew each other
before everybody had cellphones. [ Laughter ] This is the messed-up thing.
-Wow! That's wild. -We knew each other before
Uber existed. -Yes. That's wild. -We knew each other, like --
-2003. -It's been a long time.
-Yeah. -2003.
-I looked at it. You hosted
"Saturday Night Live." The musical guest was 50 Cent.
-Yeah. 50.
-Yeah. -"Up in da Club." You're laughing,
but we got a bottle full of bub. -Yeah, we got
a bottle full of bub. -We all did. -Do you remember
the first time you hosted? -I do remember, because it was
like a dream scenario for me. Like, the idea of being on "SNL"
at all was, like, one of those, like, childhood --
I mean, every Saturday night, I begged to stay up
late enough to watch "SNL." -Yeah. -And then going on --
I mean, even when I -- When we were making "Punk'd,"
I was like, "We have to let improv actors
have, like, another thing," 'cause right now,
"SNL" was the only thing. I remember Bill Hader
was on "Punk'd." And I had him cast. I had him booked for like
a two-year contract or whatever it was. He was like, "Dude, I have a
chance to be on 'SNL.' Would you let me
out of my deal?" I'm like, "Dude, get out of
your deal, go do 'SNL,'" 'cause that was always my dream. And then there he was,
and he went and did -- -Bill Hader.
-Yeah. Now he's Bill Hader. -And now he's Bill Hader.
Do you know what I remember? I remember we went
at the after-party or maybe the after-after party
and we were hanging out. -It had to be
the after-after party. -It was the after-after party. -Because after the party is
the after party. -Yeah. But you were leaving. And I want to say it was
Amy Poehler's first year. And we were all saying
goodbye to you. It was probably, you know, 5:00 in the morning
or something. And you were going out
in your car or limousine or whatever to go home -- finally. It was the end of the night. And we said, "Bye, dude.
Bye. Take care." And you were in your car,
and Amy Poehler goes, "I love you, dude." And you go, "Cool.
I love you, too" or something. And your window rolled up,
and you took off. And she was like,
"Why did I say that? I love him, but, I mean,
I don't know why I would say, 'I love you, dude.'" She was just so nervous.
It was her first -- -I didn't hear this.
Like, I didn't hear her say it. -I want her to tell the story.
She tells it better. -I just want to say this. Amy, wherever you are,
I love you, dude. I love you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah, I know.
Who doesn't love her? Come on. I heard this story you
told recently about a karaoke party that you
went to at a neighbor's house. -Oh, God. Oh, God.
This has become, like, a thing. -It has become a thing.
-Now it's a thing. -That's why we have to
talk about it. It's become a thing. -My neighbor
had a birthday party, and they had a karaoke party. -Yeah. -Mila and I went to the party. And we're sitting there,
and this guy gets up and he starts singing
this ABBA song. -Yeah.
-And he was unbelievable. I was like, "This guy's, like --
he's really good." And I used to go to karaoke
all the time. I used to go with, like --
At, like, Fairfax Farmers' Market used
to have a karaoke every weekend. And there were, like,
ringers that were there. They were, like,
unbelievable ring-- And the guy gets up,
and I turn to Mila. I'm like, "This guy's a ringer. Like, he's, like, the real -- -Yeah, he goes to
karaoke things on the weekends. -He must be on
the karaoke circuit. -He does ABBA.
He does the ABBA song. Then he goes to
the next club and crushes. Does ABBA all night. -He is, like, a handsome guy,
but he is, like, performing it. And we're like,
"Man, he's really good." And we turn to our friend
and we're like, "Man, that guy was really good." And they're like,
"That's Harry Styles." [ Cheers and applause ] And I -- And I -- -It's Harry Styles. -But I didn't know who that was. And I still don't know
really -- Like, I know the -- Like, "Watermelon" hmm song.
-Yeah. -But, like, if Harry was here
and there were like two other, like, 5'6", handsome,
dark-haired fellas, I'd be like, "I don't know. It's one of them." -Really?!
You don't know Harry Styles? -I legitimately don't. Jimmy, I'm so pop-culture-anemic
in my life. I don't watch -- Like, if
you ask me what's going on with the Hubble Telescope,
I could tell you. If you ask me what
the latest advancements in Alzheimer research are, I could probably give you
a couple citations. If you ask me who the guy is
who invented ChatGPT-3 and pick him out of the crowd,
I'll tell you who he is. -But if I say,
"What's the number-1 song?", you'd be like, "No." -No clue.
-Really? -No clue. I don't know. -Did you go up to Harry
and give him some advice and go, "Hey,
I think you got something, kid." -I -- No. He come -- No, so,
he comes off the thing, and Mila and I are both like,
"God, you're really good. You should, like, do this." -He goes, "Yeah, I do do this. I do this
pretty successfully, yes. -Guys, it was
eight years ago, okay? He was in, like,
some D-12 band or something. That was, like, his thing. -No.
-I don't know! Because I'm not trying to be -- -Just stop, just stop,
just stop. -No, I like Harry.
He's a nice guy. -Stop talking. Just stop.
-I don't -- I don't know. -No, you don't know.
You don't know. -I just don't know. -You're a talented actor,
a producer. You're an entrepreneur. Really, you're one of
the biggest -- You're one of the smartest
investors and people in that corner that I know. You're amazing at this stuff. I really am always impressed when I talk to you
about this stuff. Do people pitch you ideas
all the time like, "Ashton, you want to invest
in my company?" -Now this happens. So, early in my career,
it was like people would just come up to me
and be like, "Burn!" from Kelso, right? And I'd be like, "Oh..." And then it was like,
"Dude, where's your car? Where's your car, dude?"
-That's good. -And then it was like,
"You got punk'd." And then I'd be like,
"You didn't do anything. You're just saying it." And then it was, like,
people pitching me reality shows to produce. And now it's people
pitching me companies. Like, now, legitimately -- -Because you have Airbnb. You've been invested in
Uber, Shazam. The list is endless. It's amazing,
what you've invested in. I feel like you're almost
the new Oprah of the tech world. Whatever you touch goes -- -You get a Spotify!
-No, no, no, no, no. -You get a ChatGPT! Can we not say that?
-Yeah, you can. I thought -- I had some ideas.
These are legit ideas. Can I pitch you an idea? And if you like it,
you do with it what you want. -Okay.
-Alright? -Okay, okay.
Pitch 'em, pitch 'em. -Do they have to be apps
or can they be anything? -You can pitch me anything,
but I'm -- Can I give you
critical feedback? Are you okay with it? -Yeah. I'm ready to go.
-Okay, let's go. -Uh --
-Pass. -I didn't start. Oh, alright, this one --
First one is called Wink. It's a dating app. And what you do is, it's when --
In the future when people are going to
wear glasses with, like, A.I. and stuff -- -Like contact lenses with A.I.
That's coming. That's coming. -They are?
-That's something. -So if you see someone
on the street and you think they're cute,
you give them a little... And it goes into their
Wink file, and they go, "Someone winked at you." [ Cheers and applause ] And they go,
"Hey, someone winked at me." And then you can look it up. You can decide to do with it
what you want to do. -Like, the wink is
the new swipe right. -Yeah. It's just saying,
"Hey, I'm interested, if you're single." -I like that, but I -- My feedback would be that's
a product, not a platform. We have to come up with, like, what is the
filled-out platform of it? It's a good product idea.
I like it. -Alright, this is a product
again, not a platform. -Okay, okay. -Oh, I have a Doritos flavor. [ Laughter ] Can you help me with that? Do you know Frito-Lay people or
whatever or Doritos people? I have a good flavor
for Doritos. -I did a
Cheetos commercial once. -That's close.
-Yeah, that's kind of, like -- -They're in
the Frito-Lay family. -Yeah.
-Let's talk. You wanna hear it? -Okay, yeah, let's go.
-You ready for the flavor? The new Doritos flavor?
[ Drumroll ] -Let's go.
-Seven-layer dip. [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪ You see what I'm saying, dude?
You see what I'm saying? ♪♪ See what I'm saying? -My guy,
you saved the best for last. -"My guy."
-You saved the best for last. -Oh, I'm going to give you
one more last one. -No, no.
That should be the last one. -It should?
-Really, really. You said that
seven-layer-dip Dor... What does that even say? Oh, do you want me to --
-Yeah. -Crocs with mosquito repellent. -Yeah. -'Cause the holes --
-They're in the Crocs. -The holes. -The sweatier your foot gets, the more you save
the whole picnic. You save the whole picnic.
You know what I'm saying, Dude? You can help --
Quest can help with that. We're gonna make that?
-It just illuminates. -Talk to the OFF! people. -There's, like,
a Thermacell Croc. You just -- Yeah, I don't want
to have to spray stuff. Yeah. -We just need to combo
two companies together. -Out of any of these ideas,
are we doing any of these? [ Laughs ] Nothing.
Okay, good. -The seven-layer-dip idea,
I think, is good. -Alright, good.
-I'm gonna be honest with you. -Let's talk about
"Your Place or Mine." You, Reese Witherspoon --
that's a home run to me. I thought, "Oh --" Right?
[ Cheers and applause ] I would watch you guys --
I would watch you guys just do nothing and eat lunch, but you guys are together
in a romantic comedy. -Yeah.
-I love this. -Jimmy, I --
So, for however long -- I've done 10 romantic comedies. I want to say like
5 out of the ten, I was like -- I would call my agent
and be like, "Can Reese do it? Is Reese available?
Should we get Reese? Can we get Reese?
Can we call Reese? Can someone -- Does somebody
have Reese's number? We should call Reese."
-Yeah. -And she was always
working on something else. And, at a point, I was like, "I
just think she doesn't like me." And then, actually, in fact,
she recently told me a story about how
she thought I was weird because I was at
a party one time and I was carrying a cooler
around at the party. And they're like -- And she was
like, "No, there's a bar there. You don't need your own drinks." -No, that's cool.
I like that guy. -Anyway...
-He's fun. -So -- Yeah. -Yeah, this guy's got
his own cooler. I would go up to you.
-Just in case. You don't know. -Ashton, give me a beer, man. -Who wants to pay 20 bucks
for a cocktail? Not me. -I'm not gonna go to
the bartender. I don't even know that guy. -Anyway, so, for the
longest time, I was like, "Okay, well,
this is not going to happen." And then I was like --
I was not sure if I wanted to do another movie. I didn't know if
I wanted to do anything. My agent sent me this thing,
and they're like, "Hey, listen, it's Aline Brosh McKenna,
who did 'Devil Wears Prada.'" She did "27 Dresses"
and is a good friend of mine. And I reached out to her
on every romantic comedy I did and I was like, "Hey,
what's wrong with this scene? Can you help me out?" She was directing it,
and Reese was starring in it. And I was like, "Well,
let me stop what I'm doing today and read the screenplay." -No-brainer. -And I read it,
and it was phenomenal. And it's about a couple that
are friends for like 20 years and then decide that, yeah, maybe there's something
romantic here. And I was like, "I don't know
anything about that. I've never been in that kind of
relationship in my life." -Sound familiar? -And so I was like,
"I have to do this movie." And then we figured it out
and made it happen. It was amazing.
-It's great. It's really fun. It's exactly what
you want it to be. It's out this Friday.
I want to show everyone a clip. Here's Ashton Kutcher
and Reese Witherspoon in "Your Place or Mine." Take a look. -Open the freezer. -This also says "urgent." -Jack loves those casseroles. -You know, I could --
I could buy dinner. -Peter, I know that you have
a lot of money, but I really don't want you
getting him takeout and things that are fancy. -Yeah, okay, homework and then
frozen [mumbles] for dinner. -I know there's something else
I forgot to tell you. Shoot! I forgot what
I forgot to tell you. -Debbie, stop. Take a breath.
-[ Breathes deeply ] ♪♪
-Look around. Yeah. Enjoy it. Call us later.
-Okay. -Come on. That's -- Come on! I want to hug that movie.
I love it. Ashton Kutcher, everybody. "Your Place or Mine" begins streaming this Friday
on Netflix. We'll be right back
with Alison Brie. Stick around, everybody.
