Ari Gold Super Agent!

that's right I paid two grand for the seat I'll get out there launcher three if I want one two three in two [ __ ] [ __ ] where are you going all right I have a meeting at the Playboy Mansion you know Playboy Mansion strip clubs whorehouses I go where the meetings are all right it's my [ __ ] job I went three weeks in the South of France with the children oh my god baby of course you can go with you and if you're not home by 2:00 I am I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming Ari Gold super agent forgot his viagra sounds good can you hear me smiling nothing you got gold Chang Chung what chain chomp what was the director's name again cha-ching I'm sorry Chang Chung Bo hariya who's gonna be running this shindig you and me you've got the biggest [ __ ] in the room Babs why don't you kick it off any drama get a salad toss or what stop fantasizing art will try be there no unless you want to pull up her car sir a sort of creme ballet or something so [ __ ] you so what you know what other class I took at Harvard business ethics I don't steal other people's [ __ ] clients but in your case I'm going to make an exception I'm going to take everyone your b-level sitcom stars your reality TV writers when I'm done with you you're gonna be repping sideshow freaks you need Jojo the dog-faced [ __ ] boy call Josh whine [ __ ] the lightweight pen stealing [ __ ] that's awful now where's my boy Vinnie chase you know the station agent Eric yeah monster [ __ ] hit at Sundance did you see it it's about the [ __ ] who lives by the train tracks last time I saw him he was in a FedEx commercial they were overnighting him to London don't even think about not picking that up right coz I'll [ __ ] kill you [ __ ] you Ari I want you to pass this message along to Dana tell her that I still have the pictures from Cancun tell her that I'm gonna start a website I'm gonna take a full-page ad out in the LA Times advertising it tell her it will be called I'm a Hollywood executive [ __ ] calm and that no password or fee will be required tell her I want a [ __ ] callback you want to do it yeah and I want to [ __ ] Angelina Jolie the only differences I might actually have a shot no well we don't have a shot no you wonder why they're out to a guy I know if you ever heard of his name is Tom Cruise Tom Cruise is gonna play Pablo Escobar oh come on the guy's not even Hispanic yeah and Hilary Swank has a vagina and she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick that's what actors do they pretend I get it I get it okay so what if Cruz passes then they go to Brad Pitt he passes to go to Keanu Reeves and on down the list no where's Vince on that list I ain't on the list well how do we get him on the list did you walk with Mannie stupid [ __ ] someone's gonna pay for the Mystic Tan Jess you're staying I'm gonna take some family photos you guys work for me now Sundance is it's a great festival for little people you should you should kill over there but for the rest of us normal folk it's just a chance to try to [ __ ] a Mormon you ever tell the truth Ari I tell the parts that matter I'll beat that old [ __ ] throw him in the pool only daddy speaks that way MC Hammer could he use a guy like you turtle back in the day oh let's make a move no no we said Starbucks Eric I distinctly remember cuz I [ __ ] a counter girl here call him and tell him to look at me you don't think that I've been on the phone there was a pretty powerful agent in the business right what are the most powerful yeah no you said when I signed with you that you're the most powerful you said that to you too right yeah a bunch of times shut the [ __ ] up Eric where are you at senator Vince's scuba lesson ah scuba Sport normally reserved for the rich but you get free lessons from a Navy SEAL because you happen to have been born next door to Vince call me Helen Keller cuz I'm a [ __ ] miracle worker where do you think you're going I they just flew in a liver I get to the transplant where do you think I'm going super such an [ __ ] I'm the [ __ ] that pays for your art lessons and gets celebrities to attend your charity events and support your deadbeat brother hey little agent boy you better be back here for the cake okay you gonna hug it out no not really hug it out [ __ ] let's hug it out mayor lets hug it out you little [ __ ] I love it I'd say hug it out but I want you draw on wood nobody's happy in his town except for the losers look at me I'm miserable that's why I'm rich cut the [ __ ] Ari I'm serious Vince needs a job sounds like you might - I think what Domino's is hiring don't you put that little pizzas on the top of your Maserati that is comedy yeah getting dragged through your office in front of your entire staff by a guy half your size now that's tragedy Liz David E Kelly's got a terrific new pilot television lots of movie stars are doing TV now Ari Gary Sinise well when Vince looks like Gary Sinise he'll do television Peter Gallagher Anthony LaPaglia get out seriously get the [ __ ] out thirteen grab a bagel next anyone who puts Gwyneth's head in the box is okay by me still bitter huh after all is here you know what I fired her you should be a nicer person maybe then people wouldn't [ __ ] you you talk Davies hey Adam yeah just so you know your girlfriend when she was in the mailroom she offered to blow me true story and you're kind of invited thank you you know I would love to show up but it's actually anal sex night at the gold house so but thank you for the invite I'm gonna go home and punish my wife good luck everybody smoke more weed turtle seriously smoke more weed Tom Cruise like 5 4 on screen he looks like y'all Ming you want to hug it out hey my like Asian Lloyd he's cute right and he covers two quotas if all this is not taking care of I will choke you out with a strap-on I got Dana Gordon's assistant on the phone what the [ __ ] are you wearing I'm trying out new looks this one's my Andre 3000 you like no I don't you look like Michelle Kwan and drag why don't you do a triple [ __ ] axel over to the phone to try Cameron again hey Lloyd get in here I want to make out with you coming boom don't ever [ __ ] harass a real client again you better do it quickly cuz normally I would not care if you drown say goodbye to that Maserati yeah see a shiny new Vespa in your future you let Rumplestiltskin run your career first of all there is no we in I think of it as a start gift for Aquaman you gave me a juice maker for Queens Boulevard we must be moving out like the goddamn Jefferson he doesn't want to get typecast yeah look at there's a joker there's Batman there's spider-man they're all typecast as rich guys this kid's got no patience you know in some countries that cut off your little elf and feet for disrupting the Masters foot can you get me a suit approval who are tube socks in a yarmulke I starry gold you've got the motive the silver bombed never stop Oh the oh damn ah I'm so special

Channel: bigbaldman

Views: 189,025

Rating: 4.7096772 out of 5

Keywords: Ari, Gold, Entourage, HBO, Sunday, NIght, Hollywood, Jeremy, Pivin

Id: 0P0h3up9q-U

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 30 2009