Are You A Comforter?

good afternoon everyone can you hear me okay a face shield you know we're trying different things right we try the master by the face shield we'll make it through this pandemic somehow um well you know um a few weeks ago i received a call from a friend in the church i know he's a busy person and uh when he called he said he was thinking about me and he just wanted to see how i was doing we talked for about 30 minutes and when i hung up i felt better it's not like i felt bad when he called you know maybe you've had that feeling before like you know you're just kind of you know you're going through things and then you get the call and then you hang up and you're like yeah i feel better no you know that was nice and uh have you experienced this gotten a call yeah yeah uh there was something about his his tone of voice uh when he called uh my sense that he was listening to me um just the sense that as i was talking i kind of had this feeling of kind of being more open to share more and kind of being drawn in to the conversation and you know a conversation like that is really a beautiful thing and um my sense is it's it's rare and and that's just anecdotal i'm sure there's some studies somewhere that tell us you know how often that happens there's studies for everything you know these days but it just seems like it should happen more and i don't know why it doesn't happen more um except that well you know we get busy and uh you know maybe we don't pick up the phone or maybe we don't make the effort and we know we should and you know these kinds of things just kind of happen and so i you know i kind of asked myself as i thought about that call you know well you know why uh why don't i make more calls like that you know why why don't we have more calls like that and um i guess i'd like to start out by looking at john 14 verse 16. um to return with you there this might be uh an unusual place to start but i think it fits into this because after that call i was i was comforted you know i was encouraged i was helped i was aided um john 14 16 jesus says and i will pray the father and who will give you another helper that he may abide with you forever and theologically we understand that another doesn't have to refer to a person we understand that god jesus here is talking about how he's going to share his spirit and how indeed how his spirit is going to be poured out on all mankind like joel prophesied and that spirit is called in my new king james translation uh a helper and in my bible there's a there's a little note very famous we've talked about it a lot and it says in the margin it says uh comforter or paraquitos this famous greek word paraquito sometimes translated advocate sometimes translated counselor and sometimes uh like it is in my bible helper but but most literally most literally the word means comforter it's a spirit of comfort a spirit which consoles and in that process then a spirit that helps or aids us in our christian walk because we we kind of feel a little better it doesn't have to be a big thing you know we feel a little better than we felt before and maybe we're a little more aware of how we feel in that process and so the question is does that comfort given to us by god the father and jesus christ comfort others so we're supposed to be comforted it's the spirit of god that that pours out on us is supposed to comfort us and and if we're comforted does that mean that we can also comfort others because we've got spirit that comforts us comforts us but can we comfort one another as well because of that that is does it uh pour out of us as it were um as it's being poured into us and so the title of my message today is are you a comforter i'm looking over mrs spears and i'm thinking no i'm not a quilt because i know you make these things right there um are you one who comforts are you one who comforts others because if you're not i think the bible tells us that our very christianity might be called into question if we're not and today today i want to discuss what the bible says about our role as encouragers consolers those who comfort and aid and help others and we're going to talk about the biblical directive because i made a kind of a bold statement there a moment ago about our very christianity being called into question we're going to talk about what i think is a major barrier to us comforting or helping and what the impact of of of this comfort would mean if we did this more in terms of the body of christ in terms of our communities we're going to look at an example and we're going to talk to a little bit of the how and i'll tell you right now i'm going to share somehow because a lot of times we talk theoretically but then we need to get kind of specific and as you are thinking about this subject i i really would would love to have this you know a good discussion in our sermon chat because i think there's a lot of experience in this room i think there's a lot of of uh very uh kind and comforting people in this room and i think it'd be good to hear from you too and when we're done i hope that you will be prompted to redouble to recommit yourself to being a comforter an encourager and an aide and help for others so let's talk about um the statement i made about our very christianity why don't you turn over to second corinthians one the first point i want to share here is we must encourage and comfort one another as god's spirit comforts us we must encourage and comfort one another as god's spirit comforts us first corinthians 1 sorry did i say first meant to say second corinthians excuse me second corinthians second corinthians one verse three and four says blessed be the god and father of our lord jesus christ the father of mercies and the god of all comfort god is the is the god of all comfort and we're going to see a very explicit reference in the book of john 1st john to that verse 4 who comforts that is god who comforts us in all our tribulation who is the comforter well if you're a trinitarian you'll put a who and you'll put a person but in god's church we understand that god is our comforter it is it is god's spirit that comforts us therefore god comforts us in all our tribulation comma that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble or tribulation with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by god that's the that's the connection as we receive comfort as we receive aid as we receive help we ourselves must share that as well with others that is the direction that's what we see here from the apostle paul now there's a theological point here that i don't want to miss because we're thinking about the day of pentecost coming up and we're talking about the giving of god's holy spirit and pouring out of mankind so i'd like you to turn with me to first john 2 verse 1. and uh this is a scripture that you can put in your margin if you'd like uh next to next to john 14 or first corinthians because i think it's a it's a very powerful theological point if i ask you the question who is your comforter who is our comforter well you know if if if you have a trinitarian viewpoint you would say well the holy spirit is our comforter because you would turn to john 14 and say that you know god sent this person of the holy spirit but look at first john 2 verse 1 it says my little children these things i write to you that you may not sin and if anyone sins we have an advocate now that word advocate is this same uh this the same term paraclete also translated comforter aid and solar with the father jesus christ the righteous and he himself is the propitiation of our sins not for ours only but also for the world so who is our comforter we have a comforter with the father comma jesus christ the righteous jesus christ is our comforter god is our comforter their spirit is what comforts us so this is a very important theological point because sometimes you know we can read this and and we can kind of fall into that no when when jesus says i will send you another he's talking about the fact that he was not going to be with the apostles anymore he was not going to be with them and he was not going to be there to encourage them and because he was going to be gone he was going to send his spirit and god's spirit spirit of christ dwells in us and comforts us god comforts us through his spirit in us jesus christ is our comforter our intercessor our aid and our our helper and as he is we then must comfort others this is what paul was describing we are to comfort others with the same comfort that we ourselves have received god gives us this gift of his holy spirit and we must share that gift now the second point i want to share is what is the you know what is a major barrier to doing this why don't you y'all i'm sure all of you are going like yep i get it yep i'll do that yeah i know i need to do that i probably need to do that more um but what holds us up from wrong now some of us might say yeah i need to do that more but you know uh i'm barely hanging on myself so i would love to reach out and and talk to someone but you know i myself am struggling right now i i'm the one that needs to call i don't think i'm you know sometimes we use this phrase i'm not up to making that call right now i'm just you know i feel oppressed i feel weighted down i i i'm just not in a good place right now and i just i just can't do that right now uh you know i'm going to continue to pray i'm going to continue to ask for for guidance but i'm just not up to that right now and sometimes maybe someone might call you and maybe they leave a message and you're like oh that's searching so nice i'm just not up to taking that call right now i'm not up to calling that person back right now let's go back to second corinthians 1 verse 5. you know we read second corinthians 1 3 and 4 and it's and paul says you know we are to comfort with the same comfort that we've received and it's almost like paul is anticipating kind of that comment because he continues his uh his dialogue and i'll just we're gonna i'm gonna start in verse three again so we kind of just get the flow there second corinthians 1 verse 3 blessed be the god and father of our lord jesus christ the father of all mercies and god of all comforts who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by god verse 5 for as the sufferings of christ abound in us so our consolation also abounds through christ so paul is saying the more we suffer as we live this way of life the more we will be consoled or as my marginal note says comforted see he's on the same he's in the same concept here so how does this work how how can it be that the more we suffer the more we will feel better that's pretty much what he's saying the more we suffer the more this power that he's giving us is there to console us now maybe as you're listening to this you're hearing kind of an echo of jesus's word on the sermon on the mount right blessed is he who mourns for he shall be comforted i mean it's the same kind of concept i mean literally when it says blessed we know that means happy which is kind of hard to get your brain around happy is he who warns uh when i when i when i'm born it's hard to be thinking about being happy but this is literally what what he's describing so what this comes down to is what we choose to focus on isn't it it's what we choose to focus on when we're going through our day when we're going through whatever challenges we're dealing with are we going to focus our minds on the things that god's spirit points us towards or are we going to compensate divert or otherwise run away from the things that we need to be doing because when we're suffering we want to stop suffering when we're mourning we want to stop mourning so we do things that get us out of that state of mind we do things i'd like to read you a quote from a book called the road less traveled by dr scott m peck dr peck passed away i think probably more than 16 years ago now he received his undergraduate degree at harvard and later became a psychotherapist and he formed a an organization called the foundation for community encouragement he was a professing christian and he incorporated his faith into his practice even as he served on various governmental in various governmental roles and in private practice and he wrote a lot about encouragement and in the first chapter of the book uh the road west traveled on page 17 this is what he writes and i'm going to try and read this slowly if you can kind of digest it he says the tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness right our tendency to avoid the suffering is fundamentally the basis of all human mental illness since most of us have this tendency to a greater or lesser degree most of us are mentally ill to a greater or lesser degree some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause proceeding far afield from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out building the most elaborate fantasies in order to try excuse me yeah the most elaborate fantasies in which to live sometimes to the total exclusion of reality and the succinctly elegant words of carl jung quote neuroses is always a substantive for legitimate suffering i think it was a very powerful quotation that we create these elaborate fantasies for ourselves because we will not confront we will not confront something that needs to be dealt with because it will lead to our suffering and again the question is are we going to focus our minds on the things that god's spirit points us to that is god's incredible mercy his incredible power how much he sacrificed for us how much he is totally able to turn our suffering into what is good for us that is to say that that christ's comfort will abound as our suffering abounds or are we going to try to avoid dealing with our suffering by compensating diverting and otherwise running away from the things that we need to be facing creating fantasies in which we can live again paul writes right here for as the sufferings of christ abound in us i mean who wants sufferings to abound in us let's you know let's all get in line i'll take five i want ten no we we don't we don't want to get in line for suffering we want to get in line for fun we want to get in line for reward we want to get in line for you know things that we like whereas the sufferings of christ abound in us so our consolation also abounds through christ this is legitimate suffering that exists in our lives in our communities and in the world around us it is the consequence of the choices of a thousand generations that have come before us right we have inherited a bunch of junk from the world around us are we going to pretend that that doesn't exist that we weren't born into this mess that we see around us are we going to ignore the decisions of our parents and our grandparents perhaps our own bad decisions or are we going to embrace the suffering that comes from being in this evil world and as we live this new way of life which means that we are looking into that perfect law of liberty to see what kind of person we are right that's what james talks about looking into that perfect law of liberty and seeing what kind of person we are and not walking away and then forgetting what we saw in the mirror as benjamin franklin benjamin franklin once wrote those things that hurt instruct when we allow the sufferings of christ to abound in this so the comfort of christ also abounds in us that's the promise and as the comfort of christ abounds in us so our cup runs over and we ourselves can provide that comfort even as we are suffering and i think this is where the meaning of life really starts to take hold this is where we we intersect the academic with the real meaning of life i'm not feeling very good today but i know that there's a purpose in what i'm feeling there's a purpose in what i'm going through and i think i'm going to reach out to so and so and i'm going to see how they're doing we might feel sad and speaking as a man sometimes you ladies have a little bit easier time on they're speaking as a man sometimes i don't know i'm even feeling sad i'm just feeling bad you know i didn't eat enough this morning i should have gone and worked out you know we we have this vague feeling sometimes that we're feeling sad and instead of talking through why we're sad we create what dr peck calls these elaborate fantasies that we live in and the moment we move in the direction of asking why we're sad for you know this thing or that thing the moment we recognize that suffering is a part of the equation of life as paul says right here the moment we look into the word of god and we look for mentors and guides we reflect on how god's spirit guides us then the comfort from god's spirit covers us and comforts us not just so that we can be happy it's not about oh you know i'm good today no we're comforted that we our cup runs over and we can comfort others as paul says and what is the impact this is my third point what is the impact when this happens what's the impact on the church of god what's the impact on the ecclesia on the body of christ well i'd like to share with you an analogy maybe you've heard this analogy before but um isaac newton when he was in many of his writings he identified two types of forces um i think some some people know this you have you have the the centrifugal force i heard that term centrifugal force as you're going around it spins you out into oblivion and then you have this uh this centripetal the centripetal fort which as you go around it brings you into the center and i think this is what we're dealing with when we're we're talking about how we cope with things this centrifugal force sends us outward and i think that spiritually speaking this is the kind of of a force that when we embrace those fantasies that we create for ourselves we basically just sort of spin out right we just sort of end up kind of in oblivion we're not really we're not really going anywhere with it we're just being spun out and we're moving away from the body of christ whereas the centripetal force brings us into the center and when we move in the direction of god's holy spirit it brings us into the body it brings us closer together it brings us closer to god in jesus christ and the body of christ look how paul describes this in romans 15 verse 5. romans 15 verse 5 paul talks about this as he writes the church of rome just a couple pages back from where you were and uh he says now may the god of patience and comfort it's interesting how much he talks about that you see the first century was was was a tough time it was a tough time to live there were a lot of things that didn't really quite go right the god of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded towards one another according to christ jesus that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the god and father of our lord jesus christ you see as we accept god's comfort which will come when we abound in christ's suffering then we become like-minded one towards another and i find this teaching very powerful because it really gets the question of what unites us as a body of believers right are we do we come here is this is this you know mr crow talks about this is this some kind of social club you know are we are we gun enthusiasts are we quilting enthusiasts you know do do we come here because we all like to go cycling up in the mountains right do we come here because we are from the same ethnicity you know is this is this is this a ladies group or a men's group you know no none of those things if you look around here none of those things are why we're here that's not our shared common interest it's not a profession it's not economics we are united because we have accepted a single truth it is the truth from the bible and we read it each passover let's turn over that first peter 2 21. we are united in a common belief and it's not the it's not the easiest belief but it's what we read every passover it's what we accept first peter 2 verse 21 for to this you were called see we were called we didn't choose this we were chosen god loved us first for this you were called because christ also suffered for us leaving us an example that you should follow his steps we were called to suffer following an example of jesus christ or put another way we were called to confront the pain that we inherited from our families the pain that we have inflicted on ourselves the pain that we have inflicted on other people the pain and the injustices that others have inflicted on us and yes from others whether we're in the church or not we were called to do this and you think about how many people have left the church or started a new group or whatever because they were hurt they were unable to accept that this is part of their legitimate suffering dealing accepting the pain learning to let god comfort us that we are called into this because christ set an example and look in verse 22 who talking about christ committed no sin nor was guile found in his mouth who when he was reviled did not revile in return when he suffered he did not threaten but committed himself to him and judges righteously that is our example we are called and in this process as we accept this calling we learn not to threaten we learn not to revile we learn to understand that god will judge that he will avenge that god is in charge and that we put ourselves into his hands and when we do this we see in verse 24 and 25 we will be healed it says who himself bore our sins in his own body on the tree that we having died to sins might live for righteousness by whose stripes you were healed we will receive healing we will receive life and we will receive an inheritance in the kingdom of god as we follow this call as we allow god's comfort to comfort us in our suffering we draw closer to god and we understand what our our role is now let's look at an example of somebody who was a comforter somebody in scripture that we can that we can look to let's turn over to acts 4 verse 36 and let's read about joseph everybody know the story of joseph he's one of the most talked about characters in the new testament joseph's no people don't know that name yeah we don't know that name but that's his name but we don't talk about joseph's very much we talk about barnabas and barnabas was just a nickname it was just a nickname that the apostles gave joseph acts 4 verse 36 says and joseph who was also named barnabas by the apostles which is translated son of encouragement a levite and of the country of cyprus having land sold it and brought the money and laid it at the apostles feet so this was we're introduced here to barnabas joseph and uh you know my my marginal note here when it says um uh encouragement in verse 36 my marginal note says consolation so he was a consoler it's it's very close in fact the greek word here is periclesis so it's a very similar term like paracletos he was a consoler a comforter he reflected what paul was writing about when he described the importance of receiving comfort from jesus christ i wonder sometimes if when paul was writing the things that he was writing he was thinking about barnabas because you know they traveled a lot together they spent a lot of time together and i think as paul was dealing with so many things that he dealt with i wonder sometimes if he didn't think ah man i wish barnabas was here i really need barnabas right now i need that kind of encouragement look over at acts 9 verse 26 acts 9 verse 26 it says here when saul had come to jerusalem now he's called saul here because he's just been called and of course saul was persecuting the church he very likely had been involved in murder of church members and he comes to jerusalem and he tries to join the disciples but they were all afraid of him and did not believe that he was a disciple but look in verse 27 but barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and he declared to them how he had seen the lord on the road and so forth so you know it was barnabas it was barnabas who was willing to take that risk you know you can imagine what that would have looked like like barnabas like saul um i hear you've changed so how are you doing today you know yeah how how did that conversation start and how did that conversation proceed and you know with barnabas like i don't know maybe you know or was he listening and i wonder sometimes as we're engaged in in in comfort and consoling and helping and and so forth i i wonder as we're engaged in that process if if perhaps god through his spirit gives us a little bit more discernment you know a little bit more connectedness of like okay i i think something is different here about saul and i i think we should give him a chance i think we should give him a chance guys come on guys let's give let's give saul a chance here when we comfort when we encourage when we listen and we pause i think our minds are no longer on ourselves in the same way and our fears are not quite there in the same way and i think because our minds are are not on ourselves and are not on our fears i think we we can tend to be a little bit more clear-headed about things you know sometimes we're kind of in our head too much and we're not as clear-headed about those things look over at acts 11 acts 11 and now in verse 22 it says uh then the news of these things uh and this is talking about what what they were hearing about at the church in antioch the news of these things came to the ears of the church in jerusalem and they sent out barnabas they chose barnabas to go as far as antioch and when he came this is barnabas and had seen the grace of god he was glad and he corrected them and he know and he encouraged them he encouraged them all that with purpose of heart they should continue they should continue with the lord you want to know how to preach the gospel it's right here it's right here in front of us look at this example he encouraged them with purpose of heart the niv translates this passage as remain true to the lord with all your heart he said he said keep going remain true put your heart in this you're right you've got it you're on the right track there's some things maybe exactly aren't there but you know you're going to get it if you keep on this road he was an encourager the philip says to be resolute in their faithfulness he encouraged them to remain strong this is preaching the gospel you know when someone leaves our fellowship we hurt in our soul and our spirit right i mean i'm sure he showed up and some people were you know all in and other people were i don't know and who is this barnabas what's he talking about and i don't know if i trust him and so forth and you know maybe not everybody was there maybe some people as soon as barbara showed up you know maybe they got offended or what we don't know but you know when somebody leaves our fellowship it hurts and you know we want to encourage we want to comfort and we want to you know tell people to remain resolute to not give up to not lose heart to not get distracted by things around and you know this is what barnabas was attempting to do here in antioch he was attempting to encourage and support verse 24 says for he was a good man full of the holy spirit and of faith and a great many people were added to the lord we talk about growth in god's church praying for laborers in the harvest at the end of the age this is the model this is how the church in antioch grew it grew because of encouragement because barnabas was filled with god's holy spirit to encourage full of faith supporting these people and they then supported one another i think this is clear to see from first corinthians or second corinthians and you know i think about our antioch here you know the bay area right wouldn't it be great if god raised up a church here in antioch california right it was named after antioch right and we were like man the people in antigua are on fire let's get over there let's talk to them let's encourage them right a lot of times we tend to be about the academics and we got to get over there to antioch man because those guys they're going off the rails they're going off their reservation i don't know what they're teaching over there they think they've got the truth but we've got to set them straight you we you know sometimes we we want to go down that path don't we instead of saying man there's some there's some energy there's some passion over there let's let's let's support those people and yes of course you know we're not going to get everything all at once you know i might have told you this but you know my my in-laws were baptized years ago they didn't even know about tithing when they got baptized in the holy days as they go back i think it was the holy days right yeah they didn't know about the holy days and after they were baptized they said oh we're going to go to the feast of tabernacles and they and they went to the person who baptized them and they said why didn't you tell us about these holy days he said i i knew i knew you'd have no problem with it i could see your attitude you were ready to do what was in scripture you know this is this is what this is what encouragement is about it's focusing on supporting and that that just it just flows from us but it doesn't stop there then look in verse 25 then barnabas departed from tarsus this uh before tarsus to seek saul so barnabas wasn't just about all right you know this is great guys this is awesome i'm having a great time over here it's like no i'm going to bring more people into this because because i think i think paul is going to be great here and let's let let me go get paul you know guys i'll be back i'm going to go to tarsus i'm going to go get paul verse 26 and when he had found him he brought him to antioch so it was that for a whole year they assembled with the church and taught a great many people and the disciples were first called christians in an antioch a comforter doesn't go it alone barnabas could have basked in the energy the excitement the new congregation but instead he thought hey let's bring in more people let's let's make this work and so they work together and it was their teamwork that led to this famous designation that we now use today christian you know i'm trying i just i'm imagining like how did that come out you know they're they're doing bible study and and they're and they're encouraging one another and they're having conversations and somebody's like christ the messiah the anointed followers yeah christian yeah that's what we are that's what we are and you know bart's like yeah that makes sense and i was like yeah that makes sense now we know that it was very much longer until that term was used this was probably 43 80 probably 10 years into the church and it really wasn't until you know in the 60s a.d that that term is actually finally used i've given messages on this all right we were called followers of the way but you know peter finally uses this term in the 60s and so forth not the 1960s i think about the 60s that way the 60s the real 60s and much has been written about the disagreement between paul and barnabas we we you know we tend to we tend to go to that don't we you know if you know that story they had this disagreement about john mark and you know whether whether she'd take him along and you know he had been a little flaky before and they went their separate ways and we we tend to talk about that but we don't talk a lot about how barnabas was so excited he went down and got he got paul and then they worked together for a whole year and out of that came this term christian and this incredible congregation there in antioch we won't take the time but we know by the end of paul's ministry that they had reconciled barnabas and paul reconciled you can see that in first corinthians 9 6 you can go and look at that they reconciled and you know paul was was making reference to barnabas there and just that partnership that they had a comforter a consoler again you know i'm sure barnabas had his challenges in life but he understood what it meant to just be filled with god's spirit and then encourage others in the same way and so finally i'd like to conclude here with the how the how of encouragement because you know a lot of this might make okay yeah yeah i want to do this but uh i don't know how do we encourage someone how do we do and say you know to someone what they need to hear or listen as we'll get to how do we go about encouraging those who are suffering or just just being encouraging maybe that maybe somebody's not suffering you just want to be encouraging and sometimes people are well-meaning um but do or say things that that you know maybe aren't so helpful there's a few a few traps i think that we might consider sometimes we confuse concern with curiosity we approach people about you know their trial with all kinds of questions and it comes across more like we're interested in the facts of the situation than where the person's heart and spirit is relative to what they're going through so comforting is not curiosity it's not about facts you know facts are helpful to inform but those things tend to come out in conversations you don't necessarily need to go after all the facts another thing that sometimes happens is we we confuse being positive with being superficial um and so we really don't engage with the person in the way that you know they really need the support we remain perhaps a little superficial in our discussion because we want to be positive and uh and and and we're afraid that if we kind of go down too far then we won't be positive anymore so we kind of stay a little bit on the surface in the conversation and it leaves that other person feeling like they're not really heard sometimes we confuse giving people privacy with you know like well i don't want to you know with with not approaching them um and we say oh you know they need a little space right now when really that person you know they wouldn't mind just talking a little bit uh after my father died i felt it was kind of weird you know it's like you know my dad just died and you're not saying anything about it and then later like well you know i didn't know how you felt and you know i didn't want to pry you know i i didn't know if you could you know you wanted to i thought maybe you need a little privacy in space you know sometimes just acknowledging the the obvious is not the end of the world and um you know it's not like you're going to pry into something but just acknowledging it and recognizing that you know people will will engage as they feel comfortable in those things in order to encourage we first need to show a genuine interest i think i've talked about that four letter word and that we often say in church all the time fine if i any i think you've heard me talk about that how you're doing fine we've joked about that um that just you know some people like good yeah and i've i've fallen prey to that i'm sure we've all fallen afraid of that we need to show genuine interest not about the facts but in the person and the how is often determined by our individual style and background we all have you know individual styles uh some people and again more of a generality but some people encourage face to face you know they really enjoy just sitting across the table over a cup of coffee cup of tea and just talking and that's just so encouraging and so a lot of times women might tend to do that a little bit more men and others feel encouraged being side by side you know accompany me i've often joked if you want to sometimes guys have the best conversation while they're driving right they don't have to look at each other they're just side by side just having a conversation right and they feel very comfortable playing sports together that's also kind of something you know you're kind of side by side and maybe in the middle of that you're having you know you're having you're having a conversation well it kind of depends on who we are our style our experiences and we need to recognize kind of you know how that person operates and how we operate and and be authentic about that talking on the phone is an entirely different dynamic but you know i think you can tell when somebody's actually listening to you on the phone if you've gotten that like i think you're browsing your phone while you're talking to me right you can kind of tell when somebody's a little bit checked out and you can tell by the tone of voice you can tell by by the questions they're asking and so forth of course texting and direct messaging vm yeah that can be encouraging a little pick me up a little shot me shot in the arm but it can be a little superficial because you really can't get into maybe a level of detail on a dm or a text so you know choosing that that right sort of you know in person uh phone uh some sort of written communication it's uh they all can be encouraging but recognize that certain of them have limitations so whether it's face to face or side by side or on the phone here's what encouragement could look like first acknowledge the other person's feelings and suffering and uh and ask is there something that i can pray about you know just just that simple thing just acknowledge acknowledgement of the other person's suffering and a question about what you can pray about you might say something like i'm so sorry to hear you're going through what it is is there anything specific you'd like me to pray about for you and this situation and then just you know that's just this wide open question that you you now have to to have a dialogue and you know take the note and go pray about that ask what you can do to help what can i do to help is there anything i can do and a lot of times there probably isn't anything you can do you know but by asking it's just nice like oh well thank you you know and then of course if the person says yeah well you know help with this or that again there's boundaries in here right as we go through another point is listen listen listen have you ever heard the expression i'm going to have to give him a good listening to not often no after you say i'm going to have to give him a good talking to right no no you know give the person a good listening to because that's a lot of times what we need is we need somebody just to listen you can remind the person that god is very present again we're talking about having conversations within god's church right now and we'll be watching over them and and in that process perhaps sharing some things that you've observed as god has watched over you given what you've gone through now if you're talking to somebody who maybe doesn't share the same faith there's ways of doing that too you know it doesn't have to be as overt but you know it's our faith right so we share it and we don't have to push it on somebody but it is who we are you can remind them that god will give them a purpose in this suffering that there is purpose in the suffering sometimes it's impossible to see i mean literally like you just can't see it and that's okay you know you go to bed that night not knowing what it is that's that's called faith you get up the next morning and you still don't know what it is that's called faith and you go day after day after day and then a little tiny little crack of light comes through and you're like maybe it's that and then you know a little bit more a little bit more and then over time and when i say over time it might be five years maybe 10 years that's why that happened i know now why that happened and and you can remind them that they're not alone because we're not alone you know people are praying for you they're praying for me uh we're part of a body of believers and finally i think it's important that we're willing to hear irrational talk i think it's very important we're willing to hear irrational talk because every word that comes out of our mouth is not perfectly formed and we say things that later like yeah that was kind of dumb but that's okay that that that's part of that you know some of us might articulate more things maybe we're more extroverted we're more verbalized and you know even in a whole conversation we might say one thing and contradict ourselves at the end of the conversation and then hang up and then the next day go well i don't know what i was saying yesterday you know it obviously this is all about this is all relational this is all as you're having these conversations it's not necessary to this to just go and say well wait a minute i'm confused and uh you know perhaps that person just needs a verb belongs and like i said i'd really love to hear what you think about this in our sermon chat after church because i think there's a lot of encouragers in this room and i'd like to hear some of that and the more you can share during the sermon chat i think the more we can collectively improve together as a body of believers i like in conclusion turn to psalm 94 psalm 94 and in verse 16. phone 94 and verse 16. this almost writes here who will rise up psalm 94 16 who will rise up for me against the evil doers who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity unless the lord had been my help my soul would soon have settled in silence if i say my foot slips your mercy o lord will hold me up in the multitude of my anxieties within me your comforts delight my soul you know we live in the age of anxiety yet as god's people we have an infinite source of comfort through god's grace and spirit within this ecclesia within this community of encouragers this is what unites us this calling to embrace that suffering and to follow in christ's footsteps that he died for us that we might live that we might receive his spirit that we might be healed and that we might comfort and encourage and be part of that body of believers are you a comforter

Channel: UCG BayArea

Views: 282

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Success

Id: LdMNHhqn04E

Length: 53min 48sec (3228 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 12 2021