Anneke Lucas: Former sex slave reveals horrors of abuse (Most Viewed Moments)

my name is annika lucas i am a mom i have pets and i'm currently the leader of an organization that brings yoga into prisons i'm also a survivor of child sex trafficking i was raised in belgium and sold into a murderous pedophile network right around my sixth birthday i was used in this network for five years and a half adult men that were part of this exclusive club were there for various reasons but there was a lot of alcohol a lot of drugs and the children were the commodity the highest the most valued commodity and were used for sex mostly but there were a number of aristocrats that were part of this club who also liked killing children and then my time had come at the age of 11 i was about to be killed i was tortured because someone who had protected me for a while and then abused me really badly was done with me i was strapped to a butcher's block that was black from the blood of all the children that had come before me i was there for a few hours my body is full of scars and every scar reminds me of the moment i thought that i was going to be killed like all the children that weren't loved enough to live and i was going to be forgotten as well and i wasn't ready to die someone from inside that network loved me enough to rescue me that torture lasted a few hours however i was in that network for five years and a half in that time i was raped many many many times i don't have any scars to show how many times i was raped but i did the math usually it was a whole night in the weekend and so i gathered that i was raped actually raped for about six hours a week 1716 hours of rape before i reached the age of 12. i grew up with instructions that were given to me by the person who rescued me that kept me out of prostitution kept me away from drugs led me out of the country belgium where i was where this all happened as a young adult though i didn't have any scars i had been projected upon so much as a sexual object that i attracted men and part of me needed that to live because that was the only way i knew how to feel good and as a young woman i was so disrespected and so used and yet everyone was so ready to put the blame with me for being promiscuous for being as was said sheep a [ __ ] all these things all these epithets so quick to denounce me and then as i was healing i realized no i have to break out of this pattern that i'm in that i need sexual attention so let me break away from it let me not objectify myself at all let me become a liberated woman and so i worked for decades and decades feeling into all the pain of what was done to me all the betrayal of being sold by my parents children are the most vulnerable of our population so we want to create a society where children will be safe where children will have a community around them every child deserves safety no child deserves what i went through and what millions of children each day go through but unfortunately the way the system is right now that is part of the system as women we have so much potential to be truly empowered by feeling into everything that we as women endure that gives us more strength than anyone all that pain behind all that powerlessness and that humiliation really feeling into what was done to me really understanding that it wasn't me that at the end of the day i am okay i was a child i was being victimized it wasn't my fault i was in a video by real women real stories not long ago that traveled all around the world where i shared my story for the first time publicly i shared about being sold into sex trafficking at the age of six i shared about rape and torture that i experienced in a pedophile network that was composed largely of vips since the video has come out i have read thousands well i've read hundreds of comments there have been thousands of comments as the video was published and then was picked up by other sites i was also approached by some people who were able to help me identify some of the perpetrators there's one perpetrator that like some others i was able to just type in the country of the person that i knew they were from which was not in belgium politician and the year and the person just popped up right right away it was amazing i had no idea that i was dealing with people who were that important i had no idea that these were people on the world on the world stage and that they were actually very visible now i can tell you that i went through a process that i've been going through hundreds of times since i've started my healing process over 30 years ago just knowing who that person was and seeing pictures of this person seeing this person on a video just made the memory that i had of the incident so vivid and real and i had to deal once more with the reality of that rape i was 10 years old and it was a month before my 11th birthday i don't know if you know but as a child i remember things based on my birthday because my birthday was important so it was in march of 1974 and one of the places where i was abused it was not an orgy where i was sometimes taken and brought in late and then i was just mingling with the people that were there no this was a place a mansion where i was taken sometimes and i would just be have to go straight to a small room and in that room there was a dirty mattress and then i would just be there and wait for the men to come i was always convinced that the next man who was going to come in was going to say i'm not going to do this this is a child i was 10 years old and i really didn't look a day older i was very small i was completely undeveloped i remember this rape particularly well because i'd actually been protected for about six months and so i'd gotten used to not being raped and so i was back in this dirty room and the first man that arrived scared me to death he looked like a gorilla and he was very gruff and i thought again you know he's going to say this is a child i'm not going to do this but instead he got angry with me and just told me he didn't tell me he didn't speak my language he basically motioned for me to take off my clothes and i remember as i was trying to take off my t-shirt i got stuck and so suddenly i was in this space where i somehow thought i was going to be killed and i couldn't see anything and my arms were stuck and my head was covered and he ripped the shirt off and laughed and by that time i had gone into what i call my saint personality that i felt guilty that i had been afraid of this man who was just trying to help me and i tuned in which is something that i did to survive i tuned in to the man and i saw in his face in his lips specifically something silly something that a little silly boy who's been told that he's stupid a lot some boy that was teased and i saw this silly thing this vulnerability in this man and so i honed in on that and as my same personality i loved that boy and i embraced that boy i gave them something that they that they needed they needed to be loved in a way that they hadn't been and i tuned in to their need and nurtured them then i left my body because then he was raping me i left my body and i went in this particular case i went to a lamp that was there and my consciousness was now on the fabric of the lamp which was woven and beige and the light was shining from within and it was as if i could see it better than if i would put my eye right on that limb as if my consciousness was out of my body and i didn't feel anything i was just with that fiber of the lampshade but then when he was about to have an orgasm i had to come back in my body because this was always the scariest moment because i knew that at any moment those men could decide to kill me and i never knew what who i really had here i had to be very careful and this man um looked like he was choking and i would see in that moment i would feel the revulsion because he was gone he was not present at all and he was having some kind of a release of something and i was watching it and i was just cold i was observing this man's darkest shadow his darkest moment and i had no respect for that man and afterwards he acted happy he clearly was satisfied and he was trying to speak to me in a foreign language trying to make conversation with me now i had seen children be murdered i had heard of a girl being shot for not acting like everything was okay after being raped and so i took a risk with this man i stared coldly at him and i thought well he must not be very important because i know he's just kind of silly and he's okay with this he's not doing anything he's not going to do anything to me so it was a great surprise to find that he was number two in a world power i experienced the process to [Music] allow that part that was shut out of my body during that rape to allow that part to integrate again i i felt disbelief shock i asked myself the same question then many people in their comments ask how is it possible why why would this man who has everything on the surface wanna engage in these acts emotionally i was in shock and disbelief then i went and felt all this anger i was so furious that someone who does on the surface have everything would allow himself to do this and i was more aware of myself as just a 10 year old girl because now i could see as an adult woman this man had raped me i was just 10. i just saw myself as this little girl and this man not stopping himself and i was furious and i got to this place of i want revenge i want to kill this man and he's been dead for more than 10 years but i wanted to just have that feeling of hurting this man as badly as he had hurt me and i went through that stage and i guess i reached a point of acceptance grief grief for the girl and feeling the pain of having to go through that um also an understanding a renewed understanding and expansion of consciousness and increased love for all beings the comments that were posted about the first video that came out were there were thousands of them and didn't read all of them but they were it was interesting they were varied in levels of awareness and these levels of awareness correspond with the very process that we go through when we are healing from trauma there's first there's the shock and the disbelief an overwhelming amount of information that enters the system and it's just too much and we just are in shock and this is reaction to trauma it's also reaction to this news that world leaders are engaging in these extremely dark acts and then the second or you know the they're not clear steps but they um they come in different times for different people but then there's the stage of anger which is very important and necessary to feel the anger of what was done to me personally and then to feel the anger about what is being done anger restores the responsibility places the responsibility where it belongs so it's a very important part of the process of healing that includes fantasies of revenge and just wanting to do the same and worse to the perpetrator um so that is also part of the process and you know especially if we can experience these feelings in the process of healing from trauma then we don't have to go and put unconscious revenge out on people that you know are around us or maybe people in the world as we are power addicted and then there's a stage of just acceptance and feeling the pain the same as the child felt the powerlessness and the reality of this moment that is very heavy heavy to carry and then the grief comes so the grief is also very necessary part of the process and i've been in this kind of part of the process anywhere for these last 30 years so carried a lot of grief carried a lot of pain it's very heavy it's very difficult often to just even make it through the day uh when we're into going into the pain from the past especially with sexual abuse it's really very difficult to live in the world and then also heal from sexual abuse and then the last part is there's something that happens that is a a part of ourselves an emotional part of ourselves that was ejected out in the moment of trauma because it wasn't we weren't able to process in the moment is integrated into our consciousness and when this integration happens through these various steps it's magic and we just feel the expansion we feel more whole we are able to see the world with different eyes the world responds to us differently the is increased and that expansion increases our ability to love and to empathize with others and that is the process so before the process begins there's aggression and attacks and there's pretty much when you look at the world today that's pretty much what we've got is this aggression and war and going into our own emotional life brings us through this process to ourselves and through ourselves and awareness of our own pain and all the feelings we expand our consciousness and then are able to love and desire for peace and want peace in the world so living inside the world and navigating the world though is very easy to do when you're not in any kind of emotional process because you're not bogged down by feeling feeling empathy or feeling you know scruples you can just walk over bodies and you can just make it to the top but once you enter this process and you look at the trauma that you have experienced and you courageously look at the ways in which you were hurt by maybe the people you loved the most once you enter that process life becomes very very difficult repetition of trauma just happens continually you know life was so hard for me i wouldn't have been able to work for many years i just questioned myself at every tiny little thing every tiny little interaction that i had with a person i had the question a million times because i always thought i must have done something wrong my guilt complex was so great it was just all invading my every moment of my life i was always symbolically repeating some end some part of my trauma story and getting into situations with people where there would be an emotional charge and that was really belonging to the past and life is very difficult um survival is very difficult to manage when you're also dealing with these very painful feelings so it's the way out though unfortunately the only way out is through i know that it's easy to to say well politicians are all corrupt but then it's a little bit harder to think that a politician who's corrupt also rapes and kills children i think that's where we have to draw the line we say now that i can't believe because if they're doing that i think everyone has to go through the process that i just described because it's personal it's per it's a personal betrayal for everyone if that's what our world leaders are doing well it's really no wonder that the world looks like what it looks like today it's no wonder that there is so much hunger and poverty and poverty in the world and that the resources of the world are being hoarded by a few but that this is an addiction that this is an addiction that any junkie that you find on the street that has to shoot up and will do anything to get that next high that these people are no better these people have an amazing brain and intellect and it makes them all the more dangerous to the world that is an addiction to power it's an addiction that i know everything about because i was really badly abused i know what it's like to feel silly and to be laughed at i can relate to the need to cover over this lack of self-esteem with something from the outside some status something that i can that gives me importance from the outside sometimes that something that gives me that that robe that invisible robe of power that everyone is just going to look up to me i i wish you know sometimes i wish it seems like the easy way out on a personal level though i had to reach a place in my healing where i understand that i would never want that i never chose for it and that's why i went into the healing which is away from power towards truth and unfortunately we're always going in one direction or the other direction there's kind of no place in between we're either doing the right thing or we're doing something that goes against the good of ourself and the good of others anyone who really knows the world of power would not advise me to name names because um i don't want to compromise myself uh in any way i don't want to be open myself up to litigation from the families and i should say that all my perpetrators are dead um and that my naming names today wouldn't make any difference it wouldn't save a single child it's a noble idea to name names to save children but my safety has to come first because i have to do my work but wanting to name names wanting me to name names from people that you know i saw in belgium in 1972 there is that natural feeling of revenge that i was talking about revenge the desire for revenge when confronted with this darkness and this horror of course we want revenge of course we want to do something we want to take some action before really accepting that this is the truth this is the status quo right now there's a lot of work to be done we're just at the very beginning of this change it's the very beginning where people are really understanding that this darkness it's it's really here you know there's so much hypocrisy there's so many so many lies and what lies behind that hypocrisy and those lies that's what we're just starting to look at that's the people we've given our power to having the courage to go into the most painful moments of our lives and to feel again how vulnerable we were and to feel again the fear that we're going to be abused in that moment that that is going to be used against us and then find compassion love understanding i carried the projection of being less than i carried around feeling dirty i carried all the projections that the men had placed on me in order to do what they did if they had seen me as a human being deserving of love and respect they could have never done what they did so my way to survive was to carry their burden i am 53 years old now and i have spent all of my adult life trying to heal from these deep deep wounds from the past and as a woman i can say very forcefully that i've had hardly any support hardly any compassion understanding and love except for those few sweet brave women therapists female mentors who were there and were able to give me that unconditional love that i needed to heal and to grow i've spent decades just trying to come to a place where i felt that i was worth anything that i was worthy of living fighting the depression of feeling that i'm worthless and there's no reason for me to live fighting the constant self castigation that came from just taking on other people's baggage from being abused so much the psychic torture of the rapes was perhaps the worst and as an adult no one noticed we live in a rape culture so this very young very sexually abused woman was just treated as a sexual object again and again and again i thought if i just heal myself enough i'm going to finally be able to be free of this be out of this cycle because i am never going to objectify myself again and i actually reached that place i actually got to a point in my healing where i realized that i'm worthy and i actually know that the beginning of self-esteem was right there that i finally had the courage to not objectify myself anymore and be my own self and i thought now i'm never going to be harassed again because i'm not putting myself out as an object so i'm not in this dynamic anymore but i was so wrong women get harassed all the time i can't leave my house today without risking being harassed being catcalled being disrespected it just never ends and every woman goes through it what the rape culture has done to all the girls and the young women that may perhaps be caught in this life i just want you to know that you are tremendously brave you don't have to be better than you are you are tremendously strong and brave and there are resources today i don't know where you may be but if you have access to a computer if you have access to a telephone there are places that you can call and there are places that you can go to and reach out and you can get help i want to tell you that you are lovely you're innocent and no matter what you do no matter what has been done to you you are beautiful and you are eternally innocent and good the healing process takes one inside and the emotional maturity that i have today is due to that particular process that takes a person to that most vulnerable self and then with love and compassion of perhaps a witness or the safe adult person that we are ourselves we can take those parts of ourselves that were frozen in time by the abuse the emotional growth stunted by the abuse and loosen that and break through the shame and give that young child that we once were the nurturing and the love that it always deserved and that creates integration of the self and emotional maturity i am a mother so i have had to call on my adult self many times i have had to dig inside myself to become a better mother to be there for my daughter and in my case it required going really deep into the pain because i knew that i wasn't going to be able to be there for her sufficiently unless i was really able to get that healing my mother was not a mother she was too sick she was the ultimate product of the dark side of the patriarchy she was like a little girl acted like a little girl and all the anger from her former abuse and enduring abuse she just put it all with me because she had power over me that's not a mother i think mothers whether they're male or female can really feel into um what it means to be responsible what it means to be emotionally mature and ultimately that is the compassion and the love that is needed to change the world and the way to that love and compassion is to look at ourselves and accept ourselves as we are to go to these vulnerable places inside ourselves to go back to the abuse to go back to the pain rather than to try to avoid the pain by a variety of addictions that are readily available and very much encouraged in this society we live in a society that's a paradigm where the worst people are on top and they're the biggest power addicts and as we go down the ladder everyone is somehow caught in that paradigm you're either at the bottom when you're perhaps a prisoner or poor and so those are the people that this capitalist system is built on the blood and sweat of the of those people and then there's everyone in the middle who is just trying to either go up or is having trouble reaching down and being compassionate so we want to remove the latter we just want to change the paradigm altogether and as women especially we have the ability to tap into our strength but as women as compassionate mothers as beings who are more in touch with our feelings and from that place i think we can make a real difference you

Channel: REALWOMEN/REALSTORIES

Views: 918,163

Keywords: Real Women Real Stories, realwomenrealstories, Anneke Lucas, anneke lucas, sex slave, child abuse, human trafficking, sex trafficking, annekelucas, anneke lucas story, marc dutroux, Child Abuse, Sex traffickers, Sex Slave, prominent politicians, AnnekeLucas, human trafficking stories, sex slavery, Sex Trafficking, paedophile ring, pedophile ring, vip paedophile ring, ANNEKELUCAS, anneke lucas interview, anneke lucas testimony, satanic ritual abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, slave

Id: 194O3loi2o8

Length: 38min 22sec (2302 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 24 2022