I Survived: The Case of Alex Skeel and his abusive girlfriend (FULL HD)

foreign [Music] my scars tell a story when the police found me I was told I was 10 days away from death [Music] I was in love with Jordan and it took me a long time to have the courage to say she was abusing me [Music] people always ask me why didn't you walk away but it's so complicated as each day goes by I'm understanding it more foreign [Music] 2017. I noticed you've got a bandage to your arm and I know that you've explained to me you've got some injuries um are you fitting well to do the interview today yeah first of all then if you could introduce yourself um my name is Alexander skill I'm 21. in your own words I want you to tell me why you're here today um I'm here because yesterday afternoon there was the neighbors heard arguing in the house so they phoned the place I grew up in Bedford I basically just played football every Saturday and Sunday I was playing football pretty much I didn't really care about girls I didn't at all until Jordan come along [Music] my friend was in a college performance so I went to it she'd come to see her friend [Music] we just started talking and I was a bit surprised because I'd never really spoke to many girls at all felt quite cool it was quite nice to say to people well what did you do at the weekend I met up with Jordan she's very caring confident loving she just showed a real interest in me as Alex start again yeah you're both very young yeah how old are you trying to when I was 21. okay so what you were doing I was holding the knife there's some reason to come in the house tell me about the knife oh it was a big one in the kitchen I think it was a bread knife I'm not actually sure so how far do you think the knife I don't think it went that far but it did there was a little blood [Music] Alex was a kid that I knew from the playground at school we just like clicked so it was just normal to get to know his girlfriend Alex's family ran on holiday and Alex and Luke weren't going sort of teenagers were like no we'll have a free house that'll be cool [Music] Jordan was there and she was part of the group got drunk a few nights we ended up singing Bastille on a shed roof and she seemed pretty cool like it's all good like we're all mates now she was friendly when we first met she was always quite quiet as well quite timid everyone loved her everyone thought she was lovely everyone thought she was just delightful he was just absolutely Smitten by her absolutely loved her to bits she was just just a bit tricky and we are a really close family and she didn't get us [Music] she used to say things like why'd you all sit around the table and eat dinner [Music] I don't really like the color gray I don't think you should wear the color gray oh I don't like your hair like that you should have your hair like this oh I don't like the shoes that you're wearing but I never took it as a negative it was just more or less like well I won't impress that I won't wear it again sort of thing [Music] the behavior started to change the longer they were together and how the different relationship grew the mind game started playing we booked Lion King in London for our 18th birthday [Music] we had a great time it was lovely [Music] and then Alex Messengers at like midnight going she's gone I don't know where she is I went into the toilet and I come out and she just disappeared I don't know where she'd gone we're all just like looking around for about an hour [Music] and now just remember Alex saying I found it she was back inside the hotel like reception area and she's just laughing sort of thing it was just a little bit weird then mum and dad was saying no that's not right and then you're sort of thinking when it's just us two it's not like that so you're wrong injuries oh what his arms and stuff oh and in general I think I think he's just upset because we we've got everything we ever wanted but we're not happy [Music] Alex's mum won a big bash for our boys she loves to show off her boys and to be fair like they were doing so well like Luke just got into uni Alex was going on to college I was like really excited for the A-Team seemed like it was going to be really good I hired a horde and we had special invites made he had a legionary cake as he would there was my mum's friend's daughter that used to come around quite a bit and Jordan said she's there I'm not gonna go sort of thing and I said well I don't know if she is actually going and she was there and then like halfway through the parties suddenly there's shouting [Music] Jordan targeted a 15 year old girl my best friend's daughter beautiful girl very attractive she just screamed abusetter he was spending time with his family his friends and she just wanted Alex all to herself the music just was stopped Alex was sobbing Jed was what you think you're doing telling Jordan to leave the party and stuff like this and Alex was like no I want to stay at the party there was like hundreds of people just staring at this argument and the girl involved was my girlfriend I took Alex away to the bathroom and he was just screaming like I need to look after her I need to be with her like I love her [Music] he was saying look leave her leave her she's not good I was a bit clouded by what happened because obviously at the time I loved her and everything 's about a week or two afterwards I remember having a few arguments and then she snapped my SIM card just a penny drug and I thought she's just not right everyone is right I thought no I'm not doing this I'm gonna go that's it I'm I'm done it was a cause for celebration for us like we thought finally we got him back we felt like we got him out of something very bad then just sort of a bombshell was dropped she come back into Alex's life [Music] foreign s to go and pick her up to bring her here to tell her she was pregnant and I'm like yeah right that Old Chestnut you can do a test in my house you know I'm not falling for that so she did do a test in the house and she was pregnant that's it to Alex you don't have to be with her but you need to stand by her so that's fine I don't mind paying my way but I was thinking I can't be with you this is nowhere that's happening because can do with her constant Mind Games time and time again and then I didn't hear from her for a year I've got this text to say are you willing to meet your grandson and it was like yes and she just walked up on my doorstep on the 12th of August she spun the car seat round and it was just Alex foreign [Music] and I couldn't shut the door on my grandson [Music] I went absolutely off my so why the [ __ ] did you let her in and all this out in the other I went I get that and I do understand what you're saying I said but please let me be his man my mum was like she seems lovely he's just changed being a mum's obviously changed her it's a beautiful little boy there we all gave her the benefit of the doubt she's a mum now you know give her a chance and we even said to Alex give her a chance Alex's mum arranged for him to meet the kid but without seeing Jordan and it was very much like he was like okay like that's disassociated a bit already I don't have to see her he still hated her guts but you can see his kid I knew for about a week that I was going to be seeing TJ for the first time and I sort of said no that I want to do it with Granddad we're close really close whenever I was ill I always wanted to be with Granddad so when my granddad driving the car is pretty little boy hello he's lovely you'll love him I just remember walking in and he's just lying there kicking around being a little monkey basically [Music] I just thought now yeah that don't really surprise me because that's what I'm like [Music] it kind of all went a bit fast forward from that before we knew it she was living with the skills she was lovely couldn't follow her and it was just this lovely extended happy family foreign she's a mom and I can't say she didn't love that TJ because she did but at one point I said to her so what is it about Alex you loved you know joking about what is it that she just said oh he's the best it's just the best it all seemed nice too nice and it was like [ __ ] and I said to Jed I was like I have a very bad feeling that he's falling for her again and bloodiel January 1st Facebook official they were together again so this is his life he felt it was as happily ever after [Music] probably the best It Ever Was it was fun I was happy she was happy TJ was happy [Music] and then the crack started coming she just got back into his head to a point where you couldn't do anything to stop it [Music] they were out driving and the girl that she attacked at the party was walking on the street and they shouted abusetter of course her mum rang me and said they're abusing her in the street I said I wasn't happy with these Mind Games starting again I thought we'd gone past that I thought we'd all moved on and grown up did we not having it so she packed all of TJ's stuff up and she told Alex he was to choose it was definitely TJ I didn't want to not see him I thought she won't let me see TJ anymore and I've obviously bonded with him over the last eight months or something so I literally just moved out and that was the last time I went home he was only 19 when he went away and my world fell apart really it was horrible and I never saw Alex for two years do you love Alex you did obviously things have got particularly out of hand in your relationship okay Alex has spent some time with us today all right and he's quite upset about what's happened and he's told us some quite shocking things that have been going on I was happy and I thought I'm there for my son and we're going to be a family shortly after I moved in little things changed she started accusing me of doing things with girls when we weren't together and she was pregnant with with TJ did I ever see this girl and ever speak to this girl I'd say I didn't do that she wouldn't believe it and just got to the point where she kept asking and asking and asking you change my phone I got a new phone and phone number [Music] she got rid of the PlayStation because it was a form of contact to like people I knew I could say I'm a mapper and everything but she's so caught up in everything you just don't know [Music] I didn't know where he was and I got so desperate that I sent him a pound using mobile banking and just said I love you and I got back I hate you stay away from me it was horrible I grieved for him I used to have the most horrific dreams a lot of my dreams would go back to when he was a baby I was having twins and I went for just a standard check approaching 30 weeks you know faffing and faffing and I just looked at the nurse and I just said there's a problem isn't there she said and she just went straight over to the phone she's got Mrs school here and I'm losing twin too I'm bringing her up to delivery now foreign [Music] Alex was two pound I don't want to look at him take me away and I was frightened to love him I've always worried about him you know I don't worry about my other two sons but I always worry about him Alex seems relieved that he's now going home back to his family he feels he's been isolated from he never he always said he just didn't want to see his family he states that majority of the contact with his family has been stopped because she had stopped him having would you say any point you have made it difficult for him to see his friends and family he made it very clear he didn't want to see any of his family he said he hated his family he's in front of his family he wants a consumers family what one day she comes upstairs and show my mom's just got a message off of your mum to say that your granddad has died and I was really really upset because I couldn't say goodbye I just kept thinking how am I ever gonna forgive myself and then a few hours later she was why are you upset I said well because you just told me the probably the most important person my life has died and she was like it was not dead she think yeah he's gone and no he isn't she obviously was jealous of the bond that I had with granddads that first like month that was brilliant it was really good we had a nice house and a nice place there was no arguing and if everything carried on the way it was and kept going to plan would have been absolutely fine it would have been more than fun we decided that we would try for another child and then straight away we found out she was pregnant and I thought well that's that's like amazing I was really happy with them everything just gradually got worse and worse and worse I went to work it was a really good job and I really enjoyed it she told me that I needed to leave because it weren't good enough I didn't like leaving she was going to University Jordan said you're going to come to UNI with me every day because I don't trust you at the home because you're going to go back to see your mum and dad let me know I don't know what I got the money she took my wallet off me so then after that I just went to UNI with her every single day Alex McCullough ghost like he's untraceable and he's missing all these massive things we'd spoke about years before I literally could not listen to Bastille while he was away past it will come on and I'd start crying in the middle of a club we found a Facebook page of Alex but his name was spelled a-l-i-x and his middle name of Thomas and that was very weird [Music] Senator friend request and I got a message of Alex and I was like right here we go I knew it wasn't a message or valid it was like I've never been your [ __ ] friend I've never wanted anything to do with you it's I've all just been lying to you this whole time and I remember literally replying you're right Jordan it's finally my intent and it's it and then just blocked foreign [Music] August 2016. what I said was happy birthday Alex we miss you very much lovely Nana granddad Paul I got was don't message me again I'm not really cut me out [Music] I received a message from Alex's Facebook account it said something along the lines of um are you still fat something she knew would potentially upset me [Music] a Facebook page told me that they'd moved into a house and should be so we knew roughly where he was and we didn't know where I said look I'm putting to stop to this I'm going to find him I'm gonna go and find him a friend of mine who was brought up in Stuart Bay he drove around as well she loved elephants my son George was with me and he said there's an elephant in the winter up there so I said it's got to be it then so I banged on the door and all the lights went dead black nothing and then at one point a downstairs light come on and I saw the outline of Alex going to the kitchen and then the light went out went back upstairs and I just said he hates us you know when he's ready we'll see him but until then we've just got to leave it says that you go at him about this period of time that he had a break in your relationship okay and that you question him relentlessly and that you go on about it a lot and that if he doesn't answer you you then become violent towards him [Music] we went to Winter Wonderland in London she just accused me all the time of liking these girls as soon as we got in she said she's got a message of one of them and I said I didn't do anything you're not telling me the truth so we kept walking she's like We're not gonna go and I said no we are because we've come all this way it's just pointless to just go back then she was like go into boots and buy some One A Day sleeping tablets and as long as you take one we'll go I got the sleeping tablets I just took one then she goes put all the rest of them in your mouth so I put all over my mouth and she said crunch them down and then swallow them I just did as I was told it was really strange I was like full on dozing off it was so strong I don't remember anything about how we left there [Music] Alex has said the mainly that you could dress he has almost been attacked or physically put through some sort of um assaults pretty much every day since about September he States if you missed a night of hitting him you would then make up for it the next night we went out and everything seemed okay and I looked out the window and she goes right that's it and she picked up her hair brush and she just full and went wax straight there and their tooth was near enough off I had no money I didn't drive so in the end I just went like that and just ripped the tooth out tell me about this hairbrush that you keep in the car well whenever we've had an argument in the car oh wrapped my hair brushes and the size and I just sort of hit him either wherever I can that was so many occasions where I would be able to sleep and just smacked me on the head and I just go in the mirror and I'd look and I'd just be bleeding it was a hammer um but I never I never hurt him she started to use knives I never caught him and never stabbed him [Music] I wasn't eating properly she didn't let me sometimes he said how can we cut pastor and I'll I'll say no because I'm not hungry she said you're not allowed to sleep in the bed so I slept on the floor yeah that's that's very true um me and TJ sleep in the bed I could feel that my body was starting to shut down [Music] I was beside myself we were angry we'll hurt we were upset it was horrible it was always a like that missing link to us all [Music] his dad Graham called me and said come on so would you come with me he's he's asking for help down the phone so we went back to the house get there all the lights go off again and I said if you don't open the door I'm ringing the police and he was going go away I don't want you here and he said no you've called for help and I'm here two cars came they told us to sit in the car while they went in and they came out to us and said oh the Federal police said they posted in separate rooms had a word with them it's all fine but your son is walking with a limp and that was it we went and watched Bastille in a concert in Leeds it was fun my favorite band and my favorite City but the next morning I remember waking up in the morning to boiling water being pulled on my back and it was horrible it hurt it was so sore and it was so bad he screamed never lays never he says that he's told to make a story up so your parents that the shower and hotel was faulty sorry I don't know why have you ever um subjected into a lie detector test yeah would you do that regularly no where is it one he was like one day we did it she got a five pound lie detector and she told me to strap my hand in it and she had a boiling water cow the lie detector buzzed to suggest that I was lying I ran off and I just ended up just slamming the door shut [Music] I was looking forward to it for a reason it could change her from doing all the stuff she's doing to me and it might stop it but that lasted about three days the next thing the police knock on the door and there's blue flashing lights [Music] but at the time I was there Frontline response police constable and we got a 999 call for a domestic disturbance between a man and a woman called in by Neighbors don't you please help him out there's a couple and it sounds like they're having a really really bad fight I've been shouting and I'm sorry not my fault you get off of me leave me alone stop hurting me foreign and eventually Jordan came to the door she looked fine you know she was sort of casually dressed and didn't look disheveled or anything and she straight away said oh there's there's been a problem and Alex has hurt himself she lets in and we left um Alex went to hospital [Music] it's lying with like a paracetamol dripping me up and they had to like scrape all of the rubbish skin away and literally it was just left red pink and raw I was just about to go in to have surgery and Jordan brought me out the hospital the nurse is kept saying please stay with us please stay with us and they ended up getting the consultant down and as I walked off he sort of held me by the face and then like put his hands and he goes are you sure you're safe to go home and I said yes it's strange because the whole thing was the right time at the right place but I didn't say anything I kept saying I did it to myself it was me I was scared what she was gonna do [Music] but I wasn't able to get hold of him a few days after that on our job system I saw Alex's address and it was a call just coming in so I called up straight away and said I'm going we were just shouting and arguing and the next thing the door knocks there's a police car outside and I opened the door and it was Ed standing there and had a really nice smile on his face hello upstairs [Music] are you 100 sure foreign at all he was absolutely adamant no I do this myself I do it myself I didn't really want any commotion I know if the police get involved it would possibly be really difficult I was always thinking how would she react I further than anything wrong or not what she wanted she would go off her head that was what was running through my head the whole time foreign I just wanted to try and be as much on his level as I could um you know he's he's a few years younger than me but you're not not a dissimilar age you know we're both blokes and I thought I need to get him out of this environment you know where each other are [Music] you sat me in the police car and he said right we're not leaving there until you tell me the truth you need help she needs help your children need help you all need help and I still said no I'm doing this all to myself guys I tear my camera off and I just said to him look my camera's off it's just you and me in this car straight away I just said that and I said just please just go on what the neighbors have have said because I don't want to say that it's come from me he just quite calmly said to me yes it was her I sat her down in the living room I didn't really know what to expect in terms of how she was going to react because she's very Sly very well spoken and very polite you know all intents and purposes friendly and well-meaning young lady and on the drive back she was saying to me also you know how long do you think I'm going to be in do you think it'll be maybe an hour I want to know it might be a bit longer than that once we allowed him to get to the hospital by sort of removing her from the equation um the doctor said that he they reckon had probably 10 days from from death you know things couldn't have got much worse than what they were for Alex foreign I think one of the police officers bought him a McDonald's on the way to the hotel and he said it was like the best food he'd ever eaten because he hadn't eaten a proper cooked hot meal for so long [Music] breakfast and then I was overlooking Bedford River I actually sat there I giggled to myself as me I've got a t-shirt on which has blood stains on it still because I didn't have any other clothes I just took the mess bandages and all these push people in tires and like oh it was a lovely bacon and I'm sitting there just like I don't care if I feel at a place here foreign have you ever acted in self-defense towards Jordan I've never last done because I haven't on purpose that I don't want to have her no tell me why you've never avoided or anybody else yeah I thought it would be fine we talked in detail about June and temperature when the police attended okay and you've accepted that you have thrown water over here that was boiling yeah okay and you have accepted that you swiped him with the knife and cut him all right and the other times we just and he'd be like but you can't argue about those injuries because they're quite obvious because the burn marks and the cuts okay because police attended on both these occasions right I appreciate it's stressful you're both quite young you've got young children do you suffer from any mental illness yourself ever suffer from depression he suffered from any postnatal depression after either pregnancy how do you feel today about moving forward what are your thoughts and feelings at the moment I just don't want to get hurt anymore [Music] [Music] foreign was ringing and the phone call was Sergeant and she said just to tell you your son is safe and well and I said what's happened I said she hurt him and she went yes he's been burnt stabbed and slashed I just screamed my sister took the house line she said um Alex is on his way he's on his way home he wants to come he wants his mum foreign [Music] [Music] nice body you didn't even smell alive [Music] and he said oh like the last bullet she's got now is my children and I need to make my children safe and within five days they're with us let's remember meeting my grand tour for the first time I didn't even know she was born [Music] it was so surreal seeing him again I just grabbed him made sure he was real and um yeah just yeah just hugged him very tight [Music] it was good to have him back he was safe again but it was just horrible to hear about what she did to him and what she put him through especially when it's one of your best friends her sentencing day there was no sense of remorse I'm sorry the only thing the judge did say was Jordan doesn't blame Alex for anything that she did to him I think in her mind the more she did and seeing him stay the more she felt like he really did love her because he still stayed and it's really weird to even comprehend that because most people wouldn't even think about pushing the person they love like just wouldn't cross their mind the day that she's going to prison I felt so free it was a massive relief I remember just sort of saying I can actually look over my shoulder now for the first time in five years without worrying [Music] it's good that we got there when we did but because it's so unusual it's a female offender just didn't come together in our heads as quickly as perhaps it should have done I was quite critical of myself after the incident because I felt like I should have challenged more and seen it more the first time I attended the address we'd all be lying if we didn't say that we don't sit back and think how does this happen to a man it did start very very subtle not allowed to seeing his friends when he wanted to having to have his haircut a certain way only allowed to wear certain colors that's how it all started he didn't start with a knife to his leg it took a long time to get to that how have you scored that domestic abuse abuse doesn't matter what gender they are a victim is a victim and an abuser is an abuser there can't be any gender tied to it because it doesn't matter like a victim still hurts whether they're a male or female and an abuser is still just as nasty whether they are male or female and it's as simple as that foreign from the relationship I'm beginning to understand abuse better and I hope I can help others understand it too right spread around no Joe you're just blocking the pass off I'm starting with the football team I coach quicker they are sponsored by a domestic abuse charity and I'm talking to professionals about how to recognize signs of abuse it's going to be locally set up and that's what the groups run out of the memories will never leave me but I'm learning how to cope [Music] thank you very much [Music] you're right I have so much support from my friends and family and I'm building a future for me and my kids [Music]

Channel: REALWOMEN/REALSTORIES

Views: 4,506,479

Keywords: Real Women Real Stories, domestic abuse, Alex Skeel, Jordan Worth, Domestic Abuse, narcissist relationship, Domestic Abuse Case, Surviving Abuse, abusive girlfriend, I Survived, I survived, Abusive girlfriend, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic relationship, FEMALE Narcissist, Abusive Relationship, Coercive Control, Trauma Bonding, masculinity, male victim, male survivor, male abuse survivors, male survivors, men survivors, survivors of abuse, beyond evil, jordan worth

Id: jz9CVFKRK6s

Length: 46min 9sec (2769 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 26 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/Stunning-Cicada66]

Horrible. He would have died had they not gotten him out and god only knows what she might have done to their kids. And Alex said basically the same thing JD said at first about his fingertip being cut off: I did it to myself. This just underscores to me that JD is just as lucky to have escaped and how free he must feel.

Jordan's replies to some of the police questions were so strange. Answers like "I don't know why he would say that" (when confronted with something Alex had said) instead of a denying it and "Never in Leeds" instead of a direct denial jumped out the most. That was so deceptive.

[u/whiplashmonkey]

This just highlights how any gender is capable of DV.

She was so meek and soft spoken.

I'm so glad that police office saw what was happening and allowed him a safe space away from her to speak up.

[u/No_Morning_6482]

We watched some of this in one of our safeguarding study days. But, watching the full story has had me in tears.

Alex is so brave and I'm pleased he got out. If it had been a man committing these crimes I think the sentencing would have been longer (maybe I'm wrong).

He looked so weak the day the police got him out. He had a wound that was not treated because of her and he could have died of sepsis. He looked malnourished and that on top of wounds and infection could have been catastrophic. Thank god for the police man thinking about Alex and reflecting on what rely was going on. And thank god for the neighbour for reporting this.

I hope Alex and his family have a happy life.

Edit: spelling

[u/Behindstef84]

Poor guy, this is just sad. I hope he can, live a new life his own life.