An Army of Goats vs One Weeb Emperor

emperor tengu while you vainly wasted your days sitting on a throne in an ugly kimono i studied the blade i honed my skills beating up the poor and sand people and unfortunately for you i didn't come alone i've brought with me an army of goats and a single unarmed [ __ ] now i know what you're about to say something along the lines of i surrender please show me mercy but there will be none go my goat children attack but before we get to that part we're going to go back and see how it got to this point chichi started out with the humble beginnings of a slave thanks to her friend lanky jim's distraction she was able to escape into the wilderness for his hand in her escape lanky jim was subsequently beaten to death and died looking like straight up thought chichi made the obvious decision to swim to a place called raptor island shockingly enough this island was inhabited by a ton of raptors but it also had a mega raptor guarding some sweet sweet loot chichi nabbed it and started her swim back to the mainland unfortunately she still hadn't found any food at this point and all that gear was weighing her down chichi passed out and began to drown scared i already got it i don't think i could do this [Music] no a bandit and cannibals i am this close to the village i cannot die right here this close to food i refuse these couple of goat farmers took out two gorillas and survived i'm just saying i've been collecting groups of people with weapons and stuff but apparently all you need is a pack of goats and you'll be good that's a surprise tool that can help us later who is this oh a slave hunter uh no i don't think so mine okay they really just let me take her okay it's because i'm raining he's raining the giant ain't gonna they ain't gonna [ __ ] with someone with that kind of name all right boys and girls who's ready to join chi chi gang some of you might be wondering why i brought you all together it is so that i can get away if anything attacks us you will all be expected to fall on the sword while i run away screaming like a little girl what the unholy [ __ ] you you got what you spawn in here i'm building my house and a beak thing spawns in it my base is complete now i can christen it by getting this goddamn corpse out of my house i've recruited a bunch of dudes and we've been training night and day to become a formidable army it is a full-blown 80s training montage up here everyone crowd around the meat bucket so we can all have food for our journey everyone here is going to get more meat and then a glory hole in l.a oh you just sneak into the ocean chichi just takes off like a goddamn torpedo because she's an olympic swimmer fishing village yes please i'm sure it has beds for resting why are they patrolling the beach i really gotta swim this whole way to this village it's getting in the water you're killing me it's a robot so this is a robot village they're yelling police are they thinking i'm the police are they the police i don't know let's see if i can fight him once my group is pretty injured oh oh [Applause] oh instead of hovering over my unconscious bodies could you guys just leave that would be fantastic this is not pause they're just standing there chichi run run oh she made it away i get it police against all odds chi-chi somehow ninja her way past all of the hat into the ocean will they follow aha this is chi chi's domain the water you're a bunch of stupid robots and i'm a legendary swimmer an outpost is it gonna be full of robots let's see what's in this open building why am i not surprised by this nice ruin fool me once shame on me fool me three times classic kenji where did you get that body that one you're in right now man good thing i swam to raptor island it was really working out for chichi being able to swim like a dolphin unfortunately a lot of my boys had to leave behind oh boy i get to go through skin bandit territory in acid rain during a storm yay what is this goats finally something that's not a robot and it probably doesn't want to kill me although at this point i'm not even really sure this actually hurts more finding all this stuff now knowing that i can't carry it all because my group was beaten to death by police robots god damn it i'm captured by crab people it's always something where we going to your lair because i've got to say i'd rather not but maybe they'll capture the scavengers and eat them first huh thinking positive that's the key i'll admit things aren't looking great there's a chance these crabs are hostile towards them for some reason okay okay here's what we're gonna do chi chi we're gonna run like the wind that is a massive amount of starving bandits let's attack them okay that didn't work out and they stole all of our food but jokes on them we just happen to be right next to a bar located in the exact middle of nowhere for some reason and i could just buy more food because i keep all my money hidden in my sock they never checked there you there assassin i am in need of your services why are you like this no no no no no no no no no this goat has nine pole arms skill and turrets he's got he's got precision shooting ability this goat is better at assassinating people than chi-chi i remember this place you're the guy that sent me on that wild goose chase to find a tower with a skeleton wizard so i just wander into this guy's throne room and he straight up asked me to go find a tower with a skeleton wizard in it to get an elixir of godly powers the absolute disrespect i will have my revenge this is now my life's mission go my goat children attack oh [ __ ] wait a minute you fools i am a katana warrior my blade has been honed folded a thousand times now it's just up to the mercenaries that i hired just for this fight [Applause] that did not work out in our favor well that was a little bit anti-climactic they didn't even arrest us they just dumped us out at the front gate so that didn't go nearly as planned but we did wound him and if it bleeds we can kill it you

Channel: Pongsifu

Views: 239,247

Keywords: Kenshi game, kenshi gameplay, kenshi funny, kenshi let's play, kenshi moments, memes, emperor tengu, goats, kenshi, slave, rpg, open world, kenshi playthrough, lo-fi games

Id: D2PXNKkPROs

Length: 8min 23sec (503 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 27 2019