thank you so much and it's such a pleasure to be here who here reads the daily life amazing you guys are awesome it's so nice to meet you I've been behind the computer writing it for six years and it's so cool to kind of meet you and see you and say hello for those of you that don't read the daily love shame on you no I'm just kidding just kidding um it's a website that was sort of standing with this idea of bringing inspiration to the masses in a way that is accessible granted and also beautiful and the reason why I'll sort of speak to that because you know I've been through a lot in my very short 31 years here on the planet like addictions and ups and lows in the music business and having money and not having money and working with Grammy artists and all kinds of crazy stuff and sort of the bottom line that I've kind of come to believe in is that on a certain level everybody doesn't matter whether you're the president United States the Queen of England you know spiritual teacher yoga teacher janitor doesn't matter who you are we're all seeking a deeper level of connection and that's really what is about connection with what connection with higher power connection with community connection with ourselves connection with the purpose something that's greater than us so that we can be of service to the world and what's interesting is that right now and it's so cool that stuff like this is happy like wanderlust is happening and you know I mean the fact that Lululemon is like taking over the world to me is huge in this some good look like these were those things you just like sometimes I wish I could be a woman to wear those because it's just they're just incredible how they make you look but it's amazing that this world that we're a part of its kind of really starting to take off because human beings tend to focus on survival and because of that forget that the thing that we need most in order to survive and not just survive but thrive is a connection to something greater than ourselves so for me that looks like the divine if you're an atheist or if you're having some kind of existential crisis something greater than yourself could be a cause that's greater than yourself it could be nature it could be energy it could be God it doesn't really matter it could be Shiva there's you know thousands of Hindu gods that could be your higher power it doesn't really matter but there's this connection that we're forgetting and what do we put in its place well sex drugs rock and roll food bad toxic relationships and the reason why is because I believe that every human has good motives every human being has great motives whether you know your what we could consider be the greatest evil on the planet to the greatest Saints on the planet all of us are looking for a sense of connection and a sense of certainty and the question is where do we get that from where do we get our connection from do we get our connection from a bottle of alcohol or do we get it from you know artists and drisana do we get it from drugs or do we get it from breath of fire do we get it from a toxic relationship where there's lots of drama or do we get it from facing ourselves and talking about our shadows and going to scary emotional places that we tend to avoid it really sort of that's really I think why we're here is to become aware of patterns that we've had and go you know what those patterns met my needs on a certain level and I'm just gonna upgrade my patterns because if you came here to this talk or to wanderlust or if you're an any type of transformational process life coaching therapy angel work whatever it is that you're into and you're trying to fix yourself that is a dead-end path because I don't believe anyone who needs to be fixed I think our core is perfect and all we need to do is change patterns and just have to be some big huge dramatic thing and you know Who am I to be up here and having this conversation telling you these things well you know when I was about 19 I'm 31 so that was 12 years ago that seems like a lot I moved to Los Angeles and I was in the music business very quickly I got an internship at a very big management company what's interesting about Hollywood especially when you're in like one of those behemoth places is that it's incredible how much can get done in one week like a week could create you know a campaign for a whole movie release or it could create you know a whole tour that's doing you know millions of tickets worldwide and I got so fascinated by this ability to create so much in such a short period of time because coming from Kansas where I'm from you know a month and you could do you know barely get the garage emptied out or something you know I mean like it's like it's a slower pace there's something wrong with the slower pace it's beautiful I've come to appreciate slower pace but at that time I was so fascinated by what could get done and the other thing I got fascinated by was this power to be able to say hey I'm masking calling from this company and they would take the phone call and like I could make something happen and you know someone who comes from a sense of feeling powerless because I was kind of a nerd in school and the outcast and the fat kid and very awkward with girls and just never had a sense of connection or sense of power when you when I got that power I was started become addicted to it because I was like oh my God look how special I am and what's interesting about that concept of feeling special is that yes as a soul we are all unique and special and we have a gift to give to the world but as a human being unless we add value to the lives of other people no one else will see that and that's what's interesting about today's day and age you know I'm really grateful for a lot of the material that's kind of come on the market in the last sort of 10 to 20 years in the realm of personal growth because you know before Louise Hay before Oprah there was no self-help on the bookshelves there was no ability to access the stuff except for like in like occult bookstores like they like the idea like James Allen that can change my thoughts change my life one of those common phrases used in personal growth was considered in a cult philosophy only 30 40 years ago so the fact that it's coming it's like this exists like if this was existing 30 40 years ago we'd all be like arrested and put in jail or shamed on or something like that because it's you know this type of gathering is strange to sort of the I guess you could call it the fundamentalist mindset and so I'm really grateful that there's all this material but what's what's happening in the world is that there is sort of what you know it's kind of the same thing happens with all material whether it's sacred books like the Bible or the Koran is that people take one little thing and they say they make this one little thing that's maybe not in context and blow it up to make everything and so one of those things in the personal growth movement is this idea that I'm special and once that further is if this is a thought that really makes me fun it makes me laugh and I'm so guilty of it by the way if I put something on my vision board I deserve it think about that for a second have you ever like put something on the vision board and you're like that thing is been on my vision board for two years and it's not here this Law of Attraction stuff totally doesn't work but what have you been doing have you been adding value and I've been getting outside of yourself force a bit all self focused and what's interesting is that we can really start to use these principles in a way that justifies an ego and I am the king of that because when I first got on the spiritual path I had what you would consider to be a very hard spiritual ego this is what a spiritual ego sounds like it makes me quiver just thinking about it you've never heard of Deepak Chopra you're so not spiritual wait a minute hold on hold on hold on do you realize there's gluten in that pizza you've clearly don't care about your body by the way your drinking diet coke you realize how acidic that is I mean you know green juice is so much more alkalizing right how could you possibly put diet coke in your in your in your body this is incredible you don't wear Lululemon weight what you're wearing old raggedy stuff like what are you talking about and have you ever had that experience of someone who is so spiritual but you feel so judged in their presence that was me who here's had that experience I just want to know right so like now I actually think an unconscious person with an ego is way more fun to be around than the spiritual ego because really you're like who died and made you Jesus you know I mean like really you know or how about this one this is one that's really funny you know I've been reading the power of intention and I'm realizing that my boyfriend doesn't really he's not really into yoga or all the stuff he's so not spiritual he's just he just doesn't undergo doesn't even know who Wayne Dyer is this is insane and I'll ask ya but easy kind do you know he's so kind to me but he doesn't understand yoga like wasn't the point of yoga kindness you know like maybe he doesn't need asana in this in this lifetime so there's this idea that we've we've taken a lot of these principles and ground them into our sort of mind to sort of further our self righteousness and the reason why I'm saying this it's not because I'm up here being so perfect is that I live this and in the still recovery around this process because it's it's very easy to have an understanding or knowledge of a practice or a principle or a belief system and then go into judgment if people don't have that but really if you think about that you know that's no different you know if we're Yogi's or for people on this path that's no different than say you know I'm also a Christian mystic then sort of like you know the fundamentalist Christian movement that judges you know gay people from waiting to get married I mean really it's no different just a different version of it oh well we're so self-righteous because of course gay people should get married but my boyfriend hasn't rained Wayne Dyer's not spiritual it's a subtle version of the same thing and so my hope for this process is to kind of take away the labels because the labels don't really matter I always say I'd rather hang out with like an atheist meat-eating trucker Republican then like the passive-aggressive mean yoga teacher and you guys know who I'm talking about you know saying like the people who literally it feels like they're creating a stress bubble in their body because you aren't in alignment properly you know I said externally rotate your upper arm what's wrong with you external not internal you're like okay don't you yoga teacher when was the last time you practice anyway sorry no I love yoga and I just I just I like to make I like to poke fun at it but the idea is really what spirituality is and the point of yoga and the point of everything it boils down to one thing which is are you loving or are you not because if you're loving with no labels way cooler than being very judgemental with all the cool labels and so how do we get there well I thought I was so special right because I can start making those phone calls and then it wasn't just phone calls it was like I'm putting in multi-million dollar tours and I'm flying all over the world and I'm hanging out with all these rock stars and oh my gosh like this is so incredible and for a kid from Kansas who had a zero identity complex and super low self-esteem this was incredible and to fit in I developed this sort of requisite cliche Hollywood sex drugs and rock and roll sort of lifestyle and not just to fit in but also to get work done because one of the problems of getting that much work done is you know exhaust your adrenaline glands you get cortisol in the body you get you know you deplete your body a bit sort of natural essence and you know you're not at factory standard when you're born and so you need to supplement things and on the low end people supplement with coffee and caffeine on the high end like me I'm just doing cocaine and adderall to just like go and make it happen and at some point if that's your life is unsustainable and what happens when you do that does it go on forever because you're just superhuman you crash right and so I crashed and burned and it was funny because I had worked two and a half years this management company and then right as like things were going great I got the dream job of my life things that ever happened to me who here who here has ever gotten exactly what you wanted and it totally sucked this one just carry it's gonna be her boyfriend a relationship right you're like really this is what I wanted and I'm still not happy this is incredible well why it was horrible for me is because I went from a junior manager to senior vice president at 21 little young screwball right and thinking to myself now I'm even more special and so this continued and after three months I got my ass fired and it was a downhill struggle from there and at that point because I was going so fast I had never faced my issues and it wasn't I just put it away put it away do the drugs do the alcohol work work it away not face myself not face myself and by the way it's still easy to do that with less obvious ways you can you know hide yourself I can't tell you how many people hide themselves in their yoga practice nothing wrong with asana but asana is one of eight limbs of yoga if you study yoga it's one it's one eighth of yoga if you will and so the idea is how can we start to face ourselves so when the universe crashes when your life crashes at that time I thought oh my god God is against me this is my dream job who here has had all hell break loose in their life at some point no they felt like the divine or life was just totally against you right that was me in that moment and I was just like what the hell and then I got my first self-help book because you know you looked for answers and I remember it was the seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey I think I got it at Kinkos or something I don't remember where I got it but rest in peace Stephen love you boy and I remember reading one line I think was on outside and it said very simply seek to understand before you are understood and I'm like why didn't somebody tell me that before I've been trying to get people to understand me this whole time what is what is what is going on here how come I'm 22 1 22 years old how come I never learn this in high school or college this is crap right and so that sort of put me on the personal growth path and then what's interesting I've come to believe about the divine or life or the universe is that it knows exactly how to speak to you like just in your language you know there's people that say there's only one way it's like what you mean one way there's 7 billion people 7 billion ways as long as you're going to love it doesn't really matter because we all have just like saying it's like saying there's only one language could you imagine if you're we've walked around saying it's the only way to communicate in the world is to speak English and anyone doesn't speak English is worthless and has nothing to add no it cannot add value nor could they possibly communicate with other people be ignorant right same thing is true in the path to love so I the way that divine wise well I say that's because at that time in my life there were two ways the divine could get my attention not through yoga conferences or like kind of the easy kind of normal ways or teachers I was far too arrogant for that hot girls and successful businesspeople so it's really funny and ironic how this works so I show up to my very first spiritual conference because I had a band had a song in that movie member the movie what the bleep do we know so somehow the band I was working with got a song in that movie completely changed my life and I went there didn't the movie didn't change my life what changed my life was the conference I went to the conference and it was so strange to me cuz I'm coming from Hollywood and there's like chakra photography and like all these crystals and all this stuff and I'm like who are these people and what planet did they come from like this is insane like I don't understand any of you who's that girl oh and what was she doing she was taking chakra photos so I'm like I don't know the chakra photos when I want to talk to her right so I go talk to her and she she you know you know ladies cuz you're here you're on the spiritual path when you can sense a guy who's like fresh out of a wound and so not good for you and you're like you know he needs work that was me right so she wanted nothing to do with me like nothing nothing nothing nothing but she did have some pity on me and she goes well you know thank you and all but you know actually you might want to listen to this and she handed me a CD and I was like what I wanted your phone number like what is this and it was actually a CD called energy Anatomy about Carolyn mace and you guys know Carolyn mace she's incredible and so I was like weird so it sat in my car for a week or a month or something like that and I finally put it in and all of a sudden this woman had me and it was grace and if you haven't gotten energy Anatomy by Carolyn Mays it's my SS mase it's like a PhD on why things happen the way they do it's incredible changed my life and it put me on this personal growth path for good I was like you know what this information is so vital so important so necessary no one knows about this so I decided that I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life and take all my Hollywood training and figure out a way to combine personal growth and sort of like bigger sort of brands so what did I decide to do I decided to start a clothing line now getting ready for the name okay and my intention with this was to go teach other people what to do now you know what the state of consciousness that I'm in right this ego spiritual ego self-righteousness stuff so here's the name of the clothing company I still own the trademark but I haven't done anything with it yet love yourself and I'm sitting there like basically saying they're going you know all y'all now there need to love yourselves while I'm binging on food doing adderall like you know I mean if you see the irony in that it's like and here's the thing about spiritual teachers by the way you guys all spiritual teachers I don't care who it is who your favorite teacher you might think is incredible they are incredible but we all come to teach what we need to learn ourselves okay so any teacher that tells you that that's not true is hiding something okay because the only way we figure this stuff out is trial and error no one is born this immaculate child that's like I have it all figured out nobody has it all figured out I'm at the point my career net right now well I've pretty much met everyone that I've wanted to meet in the personal growth business and everyone still has my was that how was that interview was that okay or like how's my hair and you're like how many books have you written lady you know like what you know but there's still those those very real human emotions and so I get I let myself off the hook by saying that but what's interesting about this clothing line it was beautiful it was you know kind of Southern California we got it on all the celebrities and like Fred Segal and kits in and actually a lot of orders from Japan and I love Japan because Japan only orders two sizes of shirts which makes it so much easier to produce in like seven size I get extra extra extra small and triple XL like no you cannot and so but it was great and we went really well but we launched at probably one of the worst times you get launched a business August of 2008 you all know what happened about a month later right you're like yes and we know I don't want to think about that again right so we launched in August we got our orders and in Lehman Brothers and I'm sitting there going like oh my god like what are we gonna do now what's interesting about that time is our order started to pick up why because we represented a new opportunity an inspirational message an aspirational message and when I've come to find out sense check this out over half the Fortune 500 companies that are in existence today got started in a recession or depression which is fascinating to think about because if you think about the whole concept of how powerful our thoughts are in a recession or depression most people are thinking thoughts of what scarcity right now it might be true that their bank account is scarce compared to what it was or their home value has gone down compared to what it was but you and I both know that we are not defined by our circumstances are we so it is a competitive advantage to be thinking and not necessarily a positive way but a pragmatic empowered way do you guys know the difference between empowered and positive here's the difference let's just say that you went through a heartbreaking breakup I know no one in here has been through one of those so it's a really sort of esoteric idea to think about imagine went to that really heartbreaking breakup right and it's like the day after and like especially as a woman you have that oxytocin rush that needs to be filled and you're just like so missing him and your friends like so how are you and you're like really positive right now everything about my physiology says what yeah or ladies how about this guys aren't clean under this one if a woman says if you're asking woman how she is and she goes I'm fine does that mean she's fine what does that probably mean that she's not fine right or since we're at a yoga place have you ever had the yoga teacher I know I'm being mean to yoga teachers say I'm sorry it's just it's revenge you know what I mean like but have you ever had the yoga teacher have you ever had the yoga teacher that's up there and they're trying so hard to be positive but you can just feel their anger do you guys know I'm talking about and they're there and they're like let's um right now okay inhale I said inhale inhale right and they're trying to be positive right but what's really going on is something completely different right so empower it is different empowered says you know what I'm really pissed off right now I'm really sad right now it's kind of like you guys know about tapping in here even though I'm mad at myself I love myself that's empowerment even though my bank account is low even though my circumstances suck even though I just got my heart broken I can create something better because I'm not defined by my circumstances and why empowerment is so much better than pot just positivity I love positive thinking but you can positive think your way into the Nile just like you can negative think your way into the Nile I'm pragmatic I like to know what's going on and really acknowledge what's coming in an addiction process Tommy Rosen will be speaking later on addiction right the first step is to admit that you're powerless right that's pragmatic you know it's not like you're staying there in your addiction going everything's okay you know as you're like dying it but overdosed like I'm fine right like no and so that's really the next level for us to step into his admittance of whatever we're feeling and you know another great reference for this is you guys know brené Brown daring greatly her book is all about vulnerability this concept of being vulnerable you know when I'm up here talking when do you feel most connected to me when I'm talking about my mistakes the things that I've been through or I'm talking about some spiritual principle that I learned what's more engaging to you the mistakes cuz you probably think to yourself oh I did that or not maybe what I did but something like that right so that's what the power of vulnerability is be able to go you know what this really should anything happen but this is what I learned from it instead of just saying everything's fine right and so where was I going with all right so with love yourself I was in this state of positivity even though things fine and what's interesting to as we grow in life we expand we face you know fears because if we're let me ask you a question let me stop them on my story who here wants to live a fearless life a fearless life this is a trick question if you want to live a fearless life stay in your comfort zone stay in your comfort zone because the thing about fear I could go on for this my bad I could go on and on there's another really big misconception in the world and we've heard it and I really think it's because it's a misinterpretation of like a Course in Miracles fear is the opposite of of what that's right total BS complete BS if you didn't have fear you wouldn't be alive because your ancestors would have been extinct long ago fear is a survival mechanism there's a part of our body in our brain called the amygdala it's part of the limbic system it's fight-or-flight response so when you get triggered when there's uncertainty when there's something comes up that your your survival is threatened fight-or-flight now in women since this room is full of a lot of women there's also another survival mechanism and if you have a toxic relationship in your life this will probably tell you why men's and the 10th I need to survive because I have to take it but the way I survive is by taking care of somebody so I linked survival to nurturing now that can be awesome if you're trying to take care of a child unless the child is 35 right that can be that can be awesome in a boyfriend or a husband unless they're abusing you or very negative or very toxic right so we want to understand that fear is an appropriate response like imagine this for a second I imagine the fear is the opposite of love then that would basically mean that if you're in a dark alley in this guy with the gun to be afraid would be unloving thing that makes notes that make any sense let's take a step into common-sense corner for a second does that make any sense no fear is an appropriate response to uncertainty that's what it is fear is an appropriate response to uncertainty because uncertainty is really the thing that every human being has a hard time dealing with and then we get uncertain what do we do some people drink some people smoke some people do drugs so people eat a wise person and probably a lot of you go it goes and does an asana practice or a meditation practice if you get uncertain right might want to ask yourself when I feel uncertain what do I do because the answer to that question will tell you a lot about why you are where you are right now in fact the quality of your life is the quality of your relationship with uncertainty because think about this if we're being pragmatic is the future certain or uncertain and this is a hundred percent uncertain or 99 percent uncertain 1 percent how much uncertain is it like a thousand percent right like we really don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow but we think we do and think about this here's the power of certainty what is the number one indicator of a healthy economy stability it's a it's actually it's actual indicator like an economic indicator GOP GOP no GDP sorry I don't want to keep it political jobs sort of a GDP sorta those are all those are all things that follow this one thing consumer confidence consume what does consumer confidence its collective belief of how certain the financial future will be that's all it is so certainty is very powerful so we wanna start to understand what do we do when we get uncertain so for me when I got uncertain back then I would get more and more angry more and more self-righteous I would do more and more things to distract myself from my feelings because the thing I didn't want to feel the most was powerless that's the thing I didn't feel most so we're going along with love yourself and in one week in one week I call I now call it my divine storm at the time I called it what that is going on right now right and so what happened in one week the business actually shut down our investors pulled out because they lost 70% of their wealth in the downturn right so my business partner I have had trouble and when we start to expand a lot of our stuff comes up and so our stuff was coming up so we broke up the girl that I was dating she and I broke up my roommate gave me 30 notice of moving out my lower back went out and at 28 27 28 I got gout in my big foot my big toe gout that's for like 70 80 year old men who drink beer and eat red meat which I don't do either of so I'm thinking to myself like huh like this is a second sort of divine storm and when I've come to realize those moments of crisis to talk title this talk is from crisis to grace those moments of crisis where all seems lost or where everything is going wrong is actually I've come to believe the answer to your deepest prayer which is not to be confused with getting what you want because a lot of times when we get what we want it's not what we need does that make sense like the guy that you think you want versus the guy that's gonna love you are probably two different things I can't tell you how many times I've seen women choose the exciting guy which is cool and up for a point at a point over the guy that makes them actually feel cherished right and so what we want to start to do is understand that when things are going wrong maybe maybe you broke up maybe he left to teach you to trust your intuition maybe that's why so the thing that I've learned is that with you if you say a prayer if you say a prayer like show me abundance well if you say a prayer it says I really want to serve the world and live in my purpose and give my gift if you say a prayer that says you know take away all the things they're not serving my greatest good that does not mean things are gonna go well we tend to think that things are you know our prayers are answered when things are going well but who are we to judge you know Einstein had this great quote he said in life we have to decide that either everything is a miracle or nothing is a miracle right so which means that crisis when things are ripped away can be a miracle if we choose to see it that way and so what did I decide to do I did what any sort of serious spiritual you know sort of like spiritual path practitioner would do and I moved back in with my ex girlfriends parents and what's interesting about that is you know kids my age move back in with their parents are they a lot these days but not their ex-girlfriends parents but we had this kinship in this camaraderie and I'm so grateful to them because at the time I had started this Twitter account called it at the daily love and we had done very well we had had about a thousand followers about 500 people on our newsletter and I was thinking you know maybe there's something behind this and the message I kept getting was go all in on plan a in fact I think it was Will Smith that said Plan B as a distraction from plan a maybe a lot of people live Plan B because it's too scary to live plan a right now think about that people say they have faith a lot of people have fate including myself when there's money in the bank and you have the love that you want and you have a roof over your head and you have food and all shelter like kind of stuff but somehow that faith washes away when you're cold wet tired and hungry and alone but those moments I think at the moments when you really start to understand who you are and I also believe that sometimes things are ripped away because they're these false so I put a false foundation that you were relying upon and when those things are ripped away and you see how powerful you really are and how how much grace there truly is in the universe you recognize that there's very little that you actually need and that you can take greater and greater risks and so I believe that you know what's cool about this process is that once we start to take risks and we get a little bit of validation on that risk what do we do like oh like a bigger risk and then we get a little bit more validation and a bigger risk and a bigger risk and a bigger risk and my takeaway from all the upheaval that's happening right now in the world is not just because the economy is crumbling not because the world is so messed up but because a lot of us are guilty of not living our purpose letting fear and doubt run us and we're going through a global crisis and we get to fix it one on one not a crisis of oil not a crisis of all the stuff that's happening in the world today whether it's a Trayvon Martin case or whether it's the you know the whole equal marriage conversation boils down to one thing please see my intrinsic value but who has to see your intrinsic value first the world you do so how do you do that by having massive amounts of faith in yourself greater than the world could possibly put in you because no you know I was having a conversation with marianne williamson about this that's like marianne how come the media doesn't say like breaking news Julie followed her heart for the first time in her life look what happened like no one no one says that and she said Mass and that's nothing news media's job you know their job is report on the bigger issues but that is that is a big issue but it's not gonna be celebrated in the masses in fact it might not even be celebrated by your family or the person you're in relationship with I can't tell you how many people don't live their dreams because they can't get past what I consider to be tribal approval of friends family institutions what the world thinks what friends think oh who are you to be so happy it's like who are you to be something negative you know and so it takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what I'm talking about so why did I move in with my girlfriend's parents well they offer me this 8x8 pool house now I come from I had just worked with you know a grammy-winning artist and produced shows of the Grammys and had a huge run the music business before this right around the same time the clothing business was happening and I was traveling all over the world all that stuff was kind of happening in but then it all crumbled again I was like maybe I'm not supposed to be successful but there was this voice that said just write every day that's all you have to do is write every day so I looked at my bank and I had fourteen thousand dollars in the bank and depending on what city you live in that's a lot or little in LA that's like not that much you know considering rent and food and gas all that stuff so I think I figured I could and I didn't have to pay rent and I really watched my budget I can live for six months in LA on that money which is like a you know a long time in Los Angeles on 14,000 so what did I do I was in the room and I wrote and I tweet it and I wrote and I tweeted and I wrote and I tweeted and I wrote and I tweeted and I started to see I started get so angry because I was like this is a jail cell this 8x2 it was like a prison so this feels like and you know in my conversations sort of in my meditation with my higher power I'm thinking to myself like okay hold up everybody talks about abundance right the dyers the Chopra's Eckart everybody talks about how the world is abundant Louise hey Oprah the secret all these things 8x8 man what is up with this 8x8 thing that this is not my definition of abundance I don't think this is a pun installed this feels like torture and I was like why am I here why did you put me in this room in LA there so I can't tell you how many of my friends you know are going through a hard time their friend has the vacation home in LA and they get the whole house and they can house it for six months or something like that and I'm thinking to myself like where's my friend with the vacation house you know I mean like what's going on here and the answer I got back after sanitation was masked in this room represents the size of your faith this room represents the size of your faith and it was so humbling because I thought had faith this whole time but I didn't have faith what I had was a desperate need to feel important and that's what drove everything that's what drove the drugs that's what drove everything in the music business I felt powerless and I wanted to prove that I was something now that's a noble cause but it drove me to the brink of addiction it drove me to the brink of financial ruin it drove me to the brink of losing all kinds of incredible relationships and I realized in that moment Wow thank thank you for that because I need to be humbled and I felt very sad in that moment because I was like wow this room represent I mean the universe is so infinite this little room is so small I must not have that much faith and then the voice or the whatever said to me remember your Bible and I was like wait a minute hold on faith the size of a wet of a mustard seed can move mountains that's not a Christian principle that's a spiritual principle faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains do you realize how many mustard seeds I could fit in the 8x8 room I'm like oh my god I have so much faith right it's all about that perspective shift and I was like I can do this so I started writing more in Tweedy more and writing more and tweeting more and then about a month later somehow my inbox just flooded with you know with people adding me on Twitter and I was like what's going on so I went on Twitter and somehow Kim Kardashian has found out about my at the Daily love account and tweeted that to 2.2 million people I now recently found out I I've been wanting to know how did that happen and her friend brittny Gastineau turned her on to it so I'm so grateful to Brittany but overnight we went from 1,000 followers to 10,000 overnight and I'm like holy cow and that to me was a sign that like I'm on the right track I'm gonna keep doing this so I kept writing kept tweeting and I thought that I was going to be couchsurfing and in that bill 8x8 room with my ex-girlfriends pants for like a month or two twelve months and it wasn't twelve months and I moved out it was twelve months and then another 12 months with other friends so I actually ended up couchsurfing for two years but the whole time writing adding value writing adding value growing the list growing the list growing that's growing the list sharing my stories to really trying to add value to people's lives and slowly but surely things started to materialize and as I was ready teachers showed up I got to meet Anthony Robbins and you know he you know a lot of people you know think Anthony is sort of this like big guy with big teeth and kind of a Salesman he treated me with so much compassion he invited me to a seminar upw and it completely changed my like the firewalking one completely changed my life and then was interesting about tony is that you know at his event he talks about his other events and a lot of times in personal growth I can kind of be seen as like you're selling me and this isn't really that Greater authentic but what's beautiful about Tony's his stuff really works but I was still skeptical because he was talking about this thing date with destiny date with destiny date with destiny and he was no talking to the 4,000 people about it I was like this guy just wants to sell his people to his next thing this is what's up with this well what's interesting is the next day I had a meeting with him and it was said that this could be scheduled and he starts talking about date with destiny to me broke Mastan right and he has this imagine him I don't know if you guys know about him he's like huge he's like six foot eight and he's just like this big energy and he's like talking to 4,000 people about this passionate event and imagine that same guy talking to me but that same level of passion I'm like oh like he's just like and I'm like wait a minute hold on let me put this straight I can't buy your product there's nothing I can give you I have no value to you I have a hundred thousand people on Twitter so what you have millions of people you're a total rock star in this space like you don't need anything from me Mastan you must come good change is gonna be incredible oh my god and his wife's age like yes nasan you must be there you have to come and I'm like guys thank you but I can't afford this it's not gonna happen so he gifted it to me as a gift and I was like whoa talk about integrity this guy the same level of passion that he was talking about 4,000 people was talking about in front of me one person that could give him nothing and he had my respect from that moment forward because I really believed that he was about service and he so what happens go to date with destiny six weeks six day program then after that day I go every single year this year I'm bringing 40 of my friends because it's like so powerful and in that moment in that six day process recognized one of the most profound shifts of my life which is this idea he has these six human needs he talks about and two of them are the need for significance which that need to be important and the need for love and I had an equation going on in my head which was the more important I become the more love I get that was the equation that was running me the more important I become the more love I get is that true how many people that we think are important are alone at the top not fulfilled they might have a tremendous no there are lots of people who at the top they're happy and fulfilled but there are also lot of people that you know have tremendous wealth or success but are lacking spiritually I was like I don't want to be that guy and no wonder things hadn't worked out and then I started looked back over my life and every single endeavor that I had created that was based on that equation failed and brought massive pain not just businesses but relationships they had failed and I just had this huge aha moment and I was like divine storm that's where it came to me this is a divine storm that was protection all of that pain prevented me from even the worst pain worst pain and it wasn't it was an incredible like I felt like you ever had like a aha moment where you feel you can kind of see the matrix it all makes sense for a moment and then goes and then it goes away like ah where did it go come back her back right so it was one of those moments for me and I said okay from now on I'm gonna realize that loving is the most significant act on the plane and it doesn't have to be some grandiose announced version of love Carolyn Mays talked about how the divine comes in humble packages Jesus was born the rent and a manger not the ritz-carlton right and so I was like you know what I'm gonna dedicate myself to love and contribution and helping other people and like really do it not do it from a place of pretending to do it but like really do it and from that moment forward where I made that connection to service rather than trying to be important like I had this realization oh my god because it's so scary to put yourself out there and like I'd really risk it all right and the realization was huh in order to become anything in order to become anything I have to risk being nothing and for someone whose significance driven that really wants to have that sense of importance and certainty terrifying you thought that all this could mean that I'm just alone and by myself but I thought to myself what's the other possibility to just keep going with this significant we know how that works out haven't you experienced enough pain you know Marianne Williamson reminds us that from the Course in Miracles there's two ways we can learn we can learn through joy or we can learn through pain but either way we're gonna learn so I was like you know what I'd good with the pain I'm good I wanna learn to enjoy from now on and the way to do that is to really focus on how can I serve and I do think there's a magical sweet spot in the world where what you love to do meets the pain of the world that's like an incredible place to live those moments when you feel sold it up and so inspired and so like this for me right now I live in no helmet long open up a feels like five seconds because times just going by for me and I see you I see the faces and some of you are like some of you are like but I don't care I love it up here this is incredible right and so much fun but this is for me and I know that there is something inside of each and every one of you that is calling yourself out into uncertainty if I can help be a catalyst for that nothing lights me up more so this for me is where I meet that intersection or writing the daily love or coaching people or doing on retreats with people or whatever we do those are all different ways that we really love to serve people we're doing a bit of extravaganza I interviewed 35 people it's 40,000 people signed up like that lights me up and the universe supports more of that and when think that's where synchronicity comes from people think that you get synchronicity by using a vision board and I'm like come on you really that entitled to think that because you put you cut out a freaking picture in a magazine that you deserve it like really you think that I'm talking to myself when I say that it's like no power flows to those that serve synchronicity it exponentially increases when we give when we serve other people and that's when the love of my life came into my life I met Jenna the love of my life my soul mate and I really believe that the divine God brought Jenna into my life as a direct sort of thank-you for how much good and service I had given to the world because she is so good and she loves me more than I love myself she's incredible she came into my life financial abundance came into my life and then the question that everybody always asked me is how did you get on Oprah and I'm like I don't know how I got at Oprah they found me and I don't know how they felt like with Kim I don't know how these things happen but they just happen and I really believe that you know I don't say these things to brag or to drop names but like that's some cool if you think about it like couch surfing no money the breakthroughs like meeting Tony like how did that happen like just all these amazing synchronicities it's like the universe guiding one more step this is where this is your next teacher this is your next teacher this is your next teacher and then at some point because we are human beings and we need proof there has to be some payoff you can't just go for your whole lifetime no payoff and what's cool about the payoffs like the Tony or the Oprah is for me it gives me like a sense of like real approval from sort of the divine that this is what I'm supposed to be doing and what that allows me to do is take greater risks because really the way I kind of the way I sort of imagine it is you can imagine just a mat just go with me for a second on the whole heaven analogy they might not believe in heaven but just pretend like you're five and we're watching a cartoon for a second okay so imagine there's like all these angels in heaven an angel is like everyone has an angel and the angels like Mastin go left left damnit and in like the puddle splashes you write or something happens right and how many times that they must be so frustrated don't kiss him whatever like you know Alice don't kiss him he's bad gosh she kissed him damn it is she sleeping with him does she know what she's doing to her biochemistry right now that's gonna take nine months to get over tonight dad oh right and they're so frustrated and someday someone comes along and Lisa overhears like wait did I hear a whisper this is whisper go right yes go right not left go right I'm gonna go right and they're angels like holy this is incredible she went right guys come here and all of the angels who are like so bored with us cuz we're not listening rush over to Lisa and then late Lisa go right again yes you could do it and then she goes left and they're all like dammit we had her for a second right I really kind of think that what happens there's you know some type of universal force that celebrates us taking risks and it really wants us to expand it to grow but we have to get through the fear and here's something interesting about fear right we've talked about that a little bit earlier with the idea of amygdala right and fear being the opposite of love I actually think that facing your fear is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself now what I mean by that is not again like the guy in the alleyway analogy you have to be smart about this so if a girl's a guy with a knife or gun in the alleyway and you're like masked and said face my fear hey man how you doing you having a good day no like don't do that right you don't want to face that type of here if you're in mortal danger we don't want to face that however generally speaking we can't tell the difference in our amygdala between the guy in the alleyway with a knife and leaving a toxic relationship when you can't tell the difference between that type of danger and starting a business we can't tell the difference between sometimes even that and giving up caffeine come on who here's felt like if you give up caffeine you're really gonna die be honest I know it's me right but there's like these little things that I'm not gonna shot by the way if you just switch coffee from matcha it's incredible what happens by the way and the teeth but to get better it's amazing so because it doesn't die your teeth that weird brown anyway so I had something with me yesterday or last weekend go your teeth aren't yellow anymore like my teeth were yellow what are you talking about I'm like why have that coffee and pretty much of it that must be why I'm like they're a more gracious way for you to say that next time but it's like we any type of change we tend to equate with certain death and what's interesting is that you know the amygdala is firing here's another place with the amygdala fires fight-or-flight response and self-righteousness comes in come on Facebook that comment that you know what did they say I'm gonna show them what they said they're so wrong because of what they believe right and how could they possibly think about this right and then you say something and then you wait and you check and you check and you check and then they say something else you're like oh I knew it you're gonna say that oh you're so wrong right and the whole time it's like your dream is like at what point will you be joining me on this lifetime right and because we're in this idea like I have to defend myself to be right or I will die we had this equation going on in our heads and it's so incredible how many things come up in our lives that are seem like really great excuses or really great reasons to justify not pursuing our dreams here's a couple I don't have enough money I don't have enough time I'm not smart enough I'm too young or I'm too old and here's one that I see a lot and some of you might disagree with me and that's fine but parents parents put their kids first so dangerous so dangerous if you put your kids ahead of your relationship and ahead of your purpose you are setting a really bad example for them maybe not now being sick huh well master what do you mean I have to be there for them listen my dog not my doctor I'm sorry my mom's doctor told her after I was born literally now he was not the most gracious man right but he said went right after I'm born like still in the like that phase I've never been there but like you know that I'm trying to imagine that vulnerability and woman must be feeling in that moment this is what he said deadpan he goes well he doesn't need you anymore my mom was like you know but that's the truth think about this think about any other hue any other mammal right like what do they do or Birds what do they do with the youth they're like get out of here come on go what do we do oh happy 35th birthday honey um what are you moving in the basement right like we have this major attachment to our children which is great but it's a really good excuse not to follow your dreams who's gonna argue with the fact that you have one two three kids and they're so important to you you have to take care of them no one's that come to you and go is that a like real clever excuse for you not to go into uncertainty let's think about that what's easier to take care of your kids or to write your book what's easier what's easier for you to take care of your kids or to start your business oh I've so many kids and I just can't write a blog it's 300 words people and what's interesting especially with the people that I talk to that have children it's all about getting leverage and the question I always ask them which seems so obvious is like okay well let's just say that let's just go like to some really scary place let's say if I have a gun and I'm holding to your kid's head that's a graphic image but imagine that if you don't write your blog once a week for six months they're gone would you be able to find time yes I can't think about that okay so it's not matter you don't have the time it's not a priority for you because we tend to prioritize the comfortable stuff now this is not this discount how hard it is to earn a living or how hard it is to be a parent or how hard it is to do these things but if you think about the price that you pay not necessarily in the short term but in the long term one of the number one things there's a study recently done of people on their deathbed in England and like what their number one regrets were do you want to know what more the from top regret was dying people hopefully you want to die to get this I wish I would have put more of my dreams first we get lost in relationships we get lost in all kinds of things and especially with women because you know the daily love is 90% female that Mendon the ten thing I can't tell you how many women I know know that I hear from here from that are like maybe early 50s in the 60s and they're finally empty nesters and they're kind of sad but they're like oh I can finally have my life back it's like you could hide your life the whole time but for some reason you put your these kids first or the same thing in relationships I can't tell you how many women that I coach that are recently single and part of the reason why their recently single is because they made him everything now that's awesome on a certain level like it's great to have a man be your king or your hero or whatever you if you're in a you know same-sex relationship your partner be that way but it's something different to outsource your power to that person and to hide from the hide in that person do you guys know I'm talking about those differences so my hope as we sort of go through this process as twofold one that when you see those moments of crisis in your life when you see those moments where things like all hell is breaking loose so take a moment maybe go in your meditation pillow maybe do some Breath of Fire do some asana whatever it is it grounds you and ask the question what if this was grace what if this was grace if this was grace if Einstein says if I get to decide that everything is a miracle or nothing is miracle what if this was a miracle even the hard stuff like the kick in the teeth stuff what if that was a miracle and if you ask yourself that saying if this was grace what would I do if this was grace what would I do when I go back what would I go into uncertainty and then the other question becomes if if the crisis is grace the other question becomes what am I doing when I get uncertain there's all kinds of things that we do now I'm not saying that you can't have a glass of wine every once in a while or you can't have chocolate or you can't do these things but when you get debilitated because you're not pursuing your passion all kinds of things happen and I really believe unless you are like severely some no degrees I just see people in my clients and the people I work with online what I see is that when people follow their passion even if it's scary somehow depression seems to slowly go away because I've come to believe that repression tends to lead to depression most of the time now there are a lot of people who have major chemical imbalances I'm not talking about like that type of stuff and I'm not a psychiatrist psychologist and there's very little I know about brain chemistry there's very little we know about actual brain chemistry period but there's very little that I know about it but what I've seen is that people think about this if you were born and you're born as a soul to give a gift and to live a purpose on the planet you don't follow it what's the obvious thing that happened of course you're gonna be depressed or sad because you're not living what you're supposed to be living and how can you tell what you're supposed to be doing here's a great place where do you feel jealous of other people because here's what jealousy is jealousy is unrecognized potential in yourself whoever you're jealous of has something that you want for yourself you have not recognized so whenever I get jealous I celebrate I'm like whoa I want that and I don't get mad that person I thank that person cuz I'm like okay I'm gonna work on myself so it's very important that we try to recognize these things because then we start to take our power back from the world and it's no longer about our circumstances having a circumstance is a very easy thing to justify staying the same or family karma right but what's interesting has anyone here read man's search for meaning Viktor Frankl couple people wake up one two people that's a shame it's a great book so Viktor Frankl was in Auschwitz during the Holocaust and lost a lot of his family and what's interesting is even in sort of like the depths of what you could consider it to be hell on earth he found and was kind of had a scientific mind and what he found was that the people who lived through hell on earth not the people that were taken away and killed but the people who were in the camps that weren't some people died in the camps because they didn't have a vision what he found is people who have a compelling vision for their compelling future something that pulls them forward can survive any circumstance now whatever you're going through probably pales in comparison to that situation and you bring it up because it's so dramatic and so well known that it's like okay what's my vision for the future because a vision is so much more powerful than a circumstance but it's so much easier to justify whoo yeah have you seen the economy lately have you seen you know what might listen you know one thing in that in that in families we hear a lot and well it's always been done this way right well I remember one time I I went home for Thanksgiving and my family I came up to me and they said you know Mastan that whole daily love thing don't think that's the thing for you that's not that's not that's not the thing for you it's not gonna work I just more of like you know that cuz I love you I think of myself like you know like what you know but why was he doing that why would someone why would a family members say something like that to you because they hate you because they want you to fail not at all they want you to have a sense of certainty which is very important we talked about certainty but your model of the world and what your spirit has been called here to do will completely challenge probably almost all models of a certainty that your family or the world has set up you know I mean the idea think about this even 40 years ago the idea I think well the internet didn't even really exist then but the idea of like making money online and having a worldwide audience so something that you thought would only be possible for like a multinational corporation right I'm a guy that couch surfed and that's my that's my reality and there's so many people coming online that are doing this now with coaching and kili and yoga and so there's a new paradigm that gets to be created and I'm wanna kind of maybe I'm not sure how much time I have left I'm guessing what time it is I'm all over oh okay see what I mean okay so I'm kind of wrapped up on this no one told me okay go okay so um the thing that kind of want wrap up on is really give you guys some credit because how many people in here yoga teachers I'm curious awesome a lot of yoga how many do in here like just study yoga know a lot about yoga I'm curious so you guys who here I'm actually diffic uestion who here doesn't know who Patanjali is couple people okay so Patanjali is kind of the father of what we consider be modern yoga and he wrote the yoga sutras and he's an incredible someone to study if you don't know about him and he you know especially in teacher trainings he's kind of revered as this guy who is still done all this knowledge and I have great respect for him and had a great respect for a guy like yogi budgin who brought Kundalini Yoga to the West right but the people that I have the most respect for are you and the reason why is they have passed on and not only on top of that not only they passed on you know they talk about these Yogi's that go in the cave and meditate it's relatively easy to go into a cave and meditate and be equina minus-- and have a sense of comfort try if you take I wonder what happened I'm just curious if you took Patanjali and put him in Times Square you know go okay practice those eight limbs now you know or in Boston when the bombing happened right or an Emmy crisis that we're seeing these days right put him in you know Oakland the other day when the Trayvon Martin verdict came out right what we are up against right now you know people are a friend of mine was talking about how you know all the whole Trayvon thing happened and then there's been so many things happening in the news lately and she's like God the world's going crazy it's never been like this before I'm like really yes it's been way worse than this we used to have a 24-hour news cycle and by the way when a butterfly flaps its wings in India we know the second it happens so it's not that things haven't happened before we're just so much more aware of it so all of that is compressing onto our psyche and it's creating more stress in the body and so you guys I really do believe that you guys are the people that I really bow to because our job is not to go be in a monastery or go you meditate in the cave our job is to be on your meditation pillow we'll be out in the world and do what Joseph Campbell said which is I cannot cure the world of all the sorrows but I can choose to participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world and I really do believe that is our calling to do that because why do we practice in the first place we don't practice to deny the world we practice to live fully in the world and the way that we do that is really by having that courage to go through the pain to go through the hard times to go through the process that really is you know it takes a real master to be able to go through the process of facing your fear that's not an easy process to do and it's usually it's not something that people self initiate you know we have usually the universe you know there's the divine whisperer there's the divine nudge there's a divine suggestion there's the divine holla you know there's the divine email there's the divine tweet then there's like you know the divine you know wind and then there's kind of a divine arranged hour and then there's like the divine kind of thunderstorm and then there's a divine hurricane and the hurricane comes too and you're like I never saw that coming and if you really think about it it's like yes have seen it coming for a really long time so my hope here why it's called crisis to grace is to recognize in the moment not later but in the moment that moments of crisis are moments of grace and to really take the practice that we're here to do this weekend at wanderlust which is this beautiful yoga practice in this beautiful environment and take it and cultivate it on the mat and then as you know Shawn Cory talks about take it off the mat and into the world and not just in the happy moments but in the moments that trigger us the most because those are the moments where we grow the most and I didn't realize them over so I'm so grateful for you guys for being here but first of all I want to thank you guys for being able to hold your attention for so long thank you so much you
