All the In-Laws | Everybody Loves Raymond

really a great house Frank yeah and we're right across the street you know the three rules of real estate location location location yeah yeah great location all right you know why don't I just talk to Deborah for a minute or two okay okay you go ahead I'll just go upstairs and uh turn the lights off before we lock up help yourself the coffee and donuts they're complimentary you know we we might not have to move really what we need a bigger place R we're having twins well how big a place do they need look where they live now can I ask you something when are you going to get over your parents you don't understand what they're like they're going to get you too I know what they're like Ray they're very very nice people no you you only see them every other month it's not the same you know you're overreacting completely overreacting close your eyes for a second why just close your eyes I want to show you something o what are you doing see okay that's my mom and dad right there they're just a little Annoying now if I don't if I don't do that for another two months hey that's not too bad I could almost live with that we move across the street from them how does this feel you see they get you look first of all your parents are not this okay secondly they're not going to be over every day oh you poor blind fat lady this is not the house for us that's all we have to keep looking I don't want to keep looking why why we can find something else just like this but this house is right by your parents my God oh my God do you hear what you're saying it's the hormones that's that's tell me it's the hormones you got twice the hormones going now you don't what you say in 4 months we're going to have three kids okay I'm going to need all the help I can get who better to help us than your parents the devil do you remember how much work it was when Ally was born and you know no offense but you were you all right I'll quit softball get it Ray your parents living across the street is the big selling point here you know I I I know that you don't see it now but in time you will come to realize what a blessing it is to have your family so close come on Ray our two boys huh don't we want to give him everything let's give him Grandma and Grandpa too huh oh thank you don't you thank you so much oh my God we hey guess what we're taking it Ah that's great that's great you won't be sorry I tell you something else I just learned about this house that plumbing can take a punch Ray look honey my gynecologist said that it might take several months to knock me up oh honey you have nothing to worry about we have nothing to worry about I guess if it's a girl it doesn't have to be rayona I also like Alexandra Ally yeah I like that I thought was an idiot yeah yeah you know I could use less of a Frank image right [Music] now oh hi Marie come in Ray's not even home yet Frank and Robert still parking oh Frank's looking for a broken meter if Robert wasn't with him he'd break one himself I made you some appetizers for tonight I hope you don't mind you oh please anytime you want to come over with food you're more than welcome so how have you been good and you good you're pregnant no I'm not yes you are yes I am [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] oh I am so happy for you so when did you find out today I haven't even told Ray yet you haven't oh how exciting oh you're going to make such a good mother oh you're going to be such a good grandmother I [Laughter] know hey hey so you found a parking space Frank I hate all these damn fire hydrants I'm glad dogs pee on them sorry about that Frank yeah damn fire hydrant so how you doing Robert uh actually I'm doing good I met a girl oh really what's her name Joanne she's great we've only been out one time but I really think that this de is pregnant it's true it's true [Applause] just now I feel bad going on about not being able to park Uncle Robert no no no Uncle Bobby yes hey Uncle Bobby what's up another much kid I okay so listen listen listen Ray doesn't know yet so when he gets home you have to let me you Raymond my beautiful boy hey so how was work oh God my editor is such an idiot okay so you had a bad day but how about everybody else I mean your father's fine and I'm fine and Robert's the same as always but how how was your day Deborah huh yeah it it was okay okay Marie you okay Ma yes but the question is how is Deborah what's going on nothing what you know what Marie why don't you go break out your appetizers yeah I go get those okay okay but nobody talk until I get back all right oh in fact you know it's a fun game to play Silent Indian the no talking game play that what what what are you doing what what de what what the hell Ray our first few years together have been a joy to me hey what do you two do out wa and and I think of our our life together as a journey don't you want your advertisement a great journey and that along this path he no B stop along this path we would share many joyful moments together moments that we will remember all okay I'm pregnant what pregnant de's [Applause] [Music] pregnant once welcome to leard holy [Laughter] crap uh we're with the whan party yes your hosts have arrived already I'll be glad to take you to your table am I going to have to tip this guy no we we'll seat ourselves thank you come on let's go what's with your parents it's like the first time they've worn shoes what what is it isn't this one of those joints with those dressed up waiters yeah yeah what's wrong with dressed up waiters uh they give me the willies who always put you on the spot you know it's like a authority figures authority figures you're a police Sergeant okay you outrank the waiter but how's he going to know come on all right Officer Robert hello how are you hi hello Robert how are you how's police work treating you well you know one day you're rescuing a puppy and the next day you're fishing a skull out of a toilet good evening good evening hello I am Gerard here are your menus oh oh excuse me but uh there's so much silverware on the table what's all the silverware for for you to eat with oh no no no that's too much oh no look look I mean that's that's wasteful look I got Five Forks Tak three back and all these plates that means extra washing give me your plates yeah me too I I I don't need all these glasses how many Mouse do you think I got I have too many parents could you take one of them please I'll be back shortly with tonight's specials what kind of food do they serve here I believe it's French ever been to France oh no no no we're not World Travelers oh France is so lovely you have to go I don't appreciate the French as a people I find them annoying truly you're an interesting man remember that time in provance oh this is funny we were in provance and I asked our waiter what are all these little herbs sprinkled on everything and the waiter says Herbs de provon oh Warren fresh bread here we go hey look at this look at all that bread huh well I'm so glad we came here you you got any rye bread no sir I'm sorry we do not I like rye bread well they don't have any dad I I'll have a baguette over here oh well you got all these kinds of breads you don't have any Ry bread Ry bread is a very common bread what do you do when Jewish people come in here would you like to speak with the manager sir is he Jewish dad just take a roll okay sorry man hey don't apologize the customer is always right and am I right I would never argue with you Frank I don't get these places perhaps you'd like to hear tonight's specials please in addition to the menu the chef has prepared a crab in a puff pastry it's a dungeoness crab and a light butter and garlic sauce how much is that it's $32 oh jeez Al L now Frank you're not allowed to look at the prices tonight hey Warren wake up will you this guy's got both his hands in your pocket can we can we have a minute here please certainly thank you thanks this guy's really working me Frank I assure you uh it's okay we've been here before so you don't even know when you're being taken yeah nobody's being taken all right calm down just try to enjoy yourself Frank has an eye for Value come we've been expecting you well not you exactly [Laughter] this is Lois the woman I've told you so much about I'm so happy to finally meet you and Ray hi and Robert hello how are [Laughter] you Marie and Frank it's a pleasure to meet you and that's a lovely pant suit oh this whole thing and this is my daughter Deborah hi sweetheart it's nice to meet you Deborah I bake this pie for you oh thank you it looks delicious it's an old family recipe so you work at Warren's office yes I was all set to retire last year but I decided I wasn't ready you know what they say you're only as old as you feel then I'm not a day over 21 there you [Laughter] go so Deb were my grandkids oh well Allie's with a friend right now and the twins are taking a nap we let him stay up late with Grandma last night you know actually after our drive home a bit tuckered out myself you want to lie down would that be all right uh sure sure I'll take you up I'm good de uh Allie's room okay yep great thank you for inviting me to your home I'm so happy to be spending Thanksgiving with you all sure be a lot of [Laughter] Happy New Year I like her she seems very pleasant oh very pleasant yeah she's great yeah yeah yeah it's good cuz you know we all thought war was going to go for someone younger but it turns out just going for someone different oh I I misspoke I I it's the opposite of what I said I do that I do that a lot like I last week I said I'm dinner what's for Hungry yeah and then I then I asked her if the cleaners were back from my pants it's like watching a car accident I think I'm going to go for a walk if you could just tell Warren and I'll be back in a little while I I'll go with you Mom I'll come too all right okay you guys have a good time we'll just be here okay kill is going to Deborah you oh gosh oh why do you say things because Deborah wanted me to be supportive of her mother or something I don't know trying to please the wife when are you going to learn where are the ladies oh uh they went for a walk to get away from Raymond so how's everybody been good good yeah I am a same nice a fine woman Gentile oh yeah she's really terrific may I ask one question of course Frank what the hell are you doing I mean she seems nice and all but J aou you got a golden opportunity here you're still handsome you nice tan you got all your teeth and then some [Laughter] was he [Applause] naked I'm sorry sweetie [Laughter] you know what I'll go get it no hey can't go nether what are you talking about just just sleep now what's wrong with you he and your mother are getting it on what it was horrible she was all and and he was all are you sure they were doing that well why don't you ask the hairs on my [Laughter] neck no I knew it I could tell that there was something between them yes my [Laughter] pillow she must have snuck over here how cute is that it's not cute oh listen you you you don't understand you don't understand cuz your parents are still married I understand that no no you take it for granted these are my parents they really hurt when they got divorced that's why this is so great when you call in to say hi are you crazy woman oh well all right maybe you're right it might be embarrassing and it'll burn your retinas okay all right then we'll just pretend that we didn't see anything okay okay I don't know that I [Music] can when is this to us morning Daddy you sure slept late yeah that is some [Laughter] bad okay where are the kids they in the yard all right I'm going to go see if they're smoking good morning Raymond hi going I go out and play with the kids oh you don't have any shoes on no okay I know well come have breakfast with us okay but I'm not going to be hungry for a very long time good morning Deborah Mom good morning Warren good morning Lis how was everything across the street last night oh fine I had a wonderful sleep how about you great feel like a new man these two have a terrific mattress oh I'll have to try it out out sometime what's the matter Raymond oh nothing no I just I had a bad bad dream last night okay eggs for Mom eggs for Dad eggs for Mom and Dad thanks honey bunny oh it sure is good to see you two so hungry again what's that dear okay nothing listen I have to go borrow Marie's roasting pants so I'll be back in a minute everybody behaves themselves oh my god do you think she knows Raymond I don't know I don't know anything just e your eggs they know they heard us I told you to keep it down okay all right thanks oh water is better than butter [Music] hello it's nice to meet you oh us to we couldn't be happier that these two are getting married Robbie put on some clothes you're making everybody sick Amy dear you can remove all of your food cuz I've made some things so uh you're from Pennsylvania huh yes we are well it just goes to show you everybody's from somewhere oh it's it's so wonderful that you can join us for brunch homemade blueberry muffin oh it's nice of you to offer Marie but actually we already ate breakfast this is brunch actually I don't eat muffins I'm sorry it's nothing personal he's never had one you've never had a blueberry muffin I've never had any kind of muffin [Applause] in your life it's just never appealed to me I'll take his muffin oh no it's not polite to eat if other people aren't didn't you hear he's never going to [Applause] eat Frank all right can we at least put on the television what do you say Hank you want to flip on the tube we're not much for TV especially on a Sunday what else is there to do on a Sunday well we kind of like to keep that mostly for church and family oh how great by the way young lady did you even go to church this morning uh we went to church last week this Sunday all family give me a up no no no no please behave yourself [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] what are you doing what are your parents yelling about listen let's just go home what go home yeah you know I I realized the kids are at the birthday party and we could spend some time alone right come on we already had sex this week wait wait wait wait first of all that was 9 days ago all right okay listen Amy's parents are in there Amy's parents really oh I've never met them they must have changed their minds about Robert and now they want to meet your home oh my God I have to help Amy no no no no no no cuz you're going to you're going to say stuff and get all involved and wait let's just go to the mall and you can buy stuff and I'll walk behind you and call you pretty [Laughter] your mother is in there and you're worried about me getting involved mine get your hand out of my pants how's everybody doing we're fine dad stuffed a muffin in his pocket three oh fine es keep it it's fine with me I guess he just went into the drawer and helped himself actually I gave it to him he needs something to wear while he rinses out his clothes he only had the one outfit yeah I noticed his underwear hanging on the door knob which reminds me if you go out today pick up a new door knob that's right I also gave him a pair of your briefs I had to pin them Amy um maybe it's just me but all you did was ask him to dinner and now he's living on a couch Robert he's been nothing but nice and helpful since he got here I'm sorry honey I can't live like this what are you do come on Amy Amy stop crying please don't cry you know I can't stand it when you look fruit you're right it's my fault I know you never liked Peter I never should have let him stay but I thought maybe you'd get to know him cuz he's really very sweet no no I know but you know you have to admit he's a little no I know we all know then why do we need him here because he's my brother you know Robert I make an effort with your family I try because they're a little I know I know I I okay stop crying stop crying come on hey how are the viddles taking care of the old rumbly and the tumbly so Peter have you spoken to Mom and Dad yeah I called them yesterday you know what I told them I told them how much I love love it here and they go well when are you coming home and I go well I'll see you when I see you New York is my [Laughter] lady that's great Peter what did they say yeah they didn't know what to say you know they're so wrapped up in their little puritanical Pennsylvanian snow globe of a world I mean this really shook them up man that's great man Hey listen guys uh when you're done eating just put the plates in the sink and I'll get to them later right now there's a mud pack with my name on [Music] it hey hey is that Ray hi [Music] hi Debbie hi Peter so you back in town again no no not again still so better get going if we want to eat before the movie right all right we could use a night out I'm sorry I wasn't clear on the arrangements I thought it was just going to be the four of us oh well couldn't it be the five of us well sure but is that really fair to Ray and Deborah do you guys mind sure thatd be F so I guess you're the only one with the problem no Peter I don't have a problem seems like you do seems like you do have a problem Robert Peter please oh no Amy I can handle this guy anybody else hungry huh come on let's go you know something Amy was wrong about you you're not nice you're not sensitive and I'll tell you something else you're not a gracious host get out of my underwear for you to try one everyone says you're the best cook there is well I wouldn't say that I'd love to try one oo I have to say Pat that's marvelous oh thank you she's been so worried about what you were going to think of her dinner oh who cares what I think Mom boys are putting glue in each other's hair oh no I'm surprised it took him this long okay sweetie Mommy will help you stick them to the wall how great is this isn't this great it's like a family I have more appetizers in the kitchen oh I'll come with you I want to see what else we have to look forward to don't put glue on each other's [Laughter] hair what was that sound like something hit the house oh it's a bird H it must have flown into the window oh oh man it's hurt oh what do we do don't don't squeeze it be careful uhuh don't worry I got it don't hold it too tight I I I know Birds I build bird houses oh my let me help you poor thing he must have gotten confused or something hey hey remember Tweety yeah yeah when were kids we had a cockatil named Tweety I trained him so when I opened his cage he'd fly right up onto my shoulder he thought I was a tree here we go oh how's the bird oh I took care of it what do you mean you [Laughter] [Applause] know you killed the bird I had to put it out of it's misery you mean you actually put it to death it was very quick how could you do that oh she's very good at it you've done this before sure all the time well only when they hit the house I think if birds keep flying into your house you got to warn them somehow maybe we should um just cover the house with mattresses so the birds bounce off [Laughter] you making fun of me Cocoa Puffs okay all right let's all take a deep breath and try to remember that the bird is in a better place birdy heaven where the seed is free and every bird gets a worm not just the early ones she should take you into the kitchen excuse me but how do you know the bird couldn't be saved I mean you're not a veterinarian no but I have lived in the country my whole life mom grew up on a farm I bet the chicken slept with one eye [Laughter] [Applause] open it's funny isn't it mother how the city Folk react to this type of thing that poor bird was innocently flying around you kill it you don't even seem to care it's not that we don't care Marie it's just out here there are animals all around us and sometimes you do what has to be done yes like when a rodent gets into The Root Cellar you don't want to bang it with a [Laughter] shovel what' you do boom you got no right to go around bumping off God's creatures willy-nilly well let's remember Frank God did say let man have dominion over the fish of the Sea and the F of the air and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth you creepeth me out to let someone in on the secret well I'm glad I can be that someone me [Laughter] too so you uh mind if I bum a sigy you want a cigarette but you don't smoke oh sure you know as a cop it helps to have a smoke every so often cuz I got to tell you I see a lot of sick things every day you know I once found a foot in a mailbox W oh yeah luckily we caught the guy cuz there was a return address it's a cop joke here you are oh great yeah this will hit the spot [Laughter] hey oh sorry I was just getting to drink of milk what's that smell nothing this is just a dream were you smoking no shh go back to sleep you're [Laughter] flying stop smelling me wait hey tell me the truth do you smoke sh people are sleeping and you're being very inconsiderate going on out here you see see what you did you woke up an old lady Robert was smoking I I wasn't I wasn't smell him come here come here oh my God what are you doing some somebody better be dead or dying smack him Frank can I go back to bed now do you know what he's been doing swelling not there his shirt okay all right all right he's been smoking all right I did it just once okay just one time why all right there was this new guy at work who smokes and he's and he's really popular and I just wanted to fit [Laughter] [Applause] in but but but I didn't even like it it made me throw up no more lying you're a smoker is everything all right everything's horrible Robert smokes no don't you know that smoking can stunt your grow [Laughter] you know I am not only the vice principal at coper Junior High School I am also the healthed teacher good tell him how bad smoking is when any faculty member brings me a youngster who they've caught smoking do you know what the first thing is that I ask them why don't you just drink poison well Mr Barone I'll ask you the same thing why don't you just drink poison do you have [Laughter] any jokes funny business it's what I get from my 12y olds and I guess it's what I'll get from you as well can you believe this mother wait Robert I'm very disappointed I thought I saw you two come in here I've been looking out the window for the last two days she scared the crap out of the mailman oh you two look so wonderful oh thanks Ma you look nice too hey Ma come on let's sit down I want to hear everything my I just said hi Raymond can't you see we're having a [Laughter] conversation Robbie's home with this beautiful new Bri hi Mom oh we have presents presents too what you see you two is a present open the bag oh you didn't have to this is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me what is it it's a piece of shrapnel it's from World War II in anio it's one wonderful I'll bet it's from the ass of some [Laughter] Crut look a pin that's antique a 100 years old antique Frank look what do you think hundred years old [Laughter] I think it's lovely just lovely oh what the hell oh this is so nice oh speaking of gifts how did you like what lean Stan got you for your wedding present oh yes what was it again some sort of porcelain thing or a sculpture oh no no no it was a large crystally covered candle which they had made with your wedding invitation in a kind of window within the wax so that when the candle burns down the invitation is illuminated from behind you know the orange one right right right yes it was beautiful I thought it was so clever they just wanted to make sure you got it oh yeah we got it cuz they had it specially made we got it Ma very nice so I'll tell them that you got it they didn't know because they didn't get a thank you note oh well oh well Mom they're going to get a thank you note it's just you know of course just you're going to send one right I mean you're going to be sending out thank you notes aren't you Amy yeah sure Marie I'll get to it okay good when you say get to it when do you think you'd be doing in them because people have been commenting what do you mean who's commenting people so Amy when can I tell the people to expect their thank you notes well can I be honest with you Marie uhoh of course you can say anything to me we're family uhoh [Laughter] well you know we just got back from our honeymoon and um what nothing I just thought you were going to be honest with me I mean to tell the truth you two have been home for a day and a half now haven't you well we just wanted to unwind for but you knew I was waiting no call or anything I was so worried I called the the airlines I thought what if there was a plane crash but when they said of course there was none I have to tell you I was a little [Laughter] upset and and and now to make such a fuss when I'm just asking about thank you notes you know I would like to think that we're at least grateful for the good fortune and generosity bestowed upon us by people who love us thank you for my [Laughter] [Laughter] shrapnel what's going on just heating up pie [Music] I'll have some but wash your hands [Laughter] first what's up with you you guys got to get your wives out of my house they're over there looking at furniture cataloges I told Marie at your age you shouldn't be looking at any furniture unless it has a [Laughter] lid shoot shoot cheski huh who is Cho Cho cheski Reay you better get back into your microwave position look deorah it's not what you think oh I think you were dreaming about another woman and you told me a choo choo train story no you couldn't keep it giant mouth shut could you I didn't say anything Robert I swear well someone opened their giant mouth I did um should you had your [Laughter] reasons mom your father told me about your little fantasy and I felt I'd be remiss if I didn't tell Deborah that her marriage was in Peril dad why would you tell Mom I was proud of you you dream like a man well that's great Ray I'm going around telling everybody what a sweet little boy you are and you're dreaming about another woman thanks a lot Ray thanks for making me look like a total jerk wait I made it up I made it up Choo Cho really was a train so what are you saying you lied to them and here I was finally proud of you you're unbelievable right no you know what you're unbelievable you took something that was private and you blabbed it all over town oh yeah well you were a pretty good blabber mouth yourself last night hey guess who pees when she laughs guess who was right there with me laughing it up oh Amy PE that's so funny yeah Robert I love you Amy Amy listen listen I'm so sweetie come on look at me we were all talking everyone was doing it Deborah belt is like a truck driver and Ma uses Ragu Ray that's what you told them about me that I burp you just made up that cute little nose thing I didn't make it up look there it is there it is all right all right a lot of things have been said and I have no problem of facing the truth however painful it might be now about my sauce Frank tell them you're a liar what do you ever want to eat again I lied I'm a crazy old man who lies good and I'm glad that you could admit that and you did all know better than to engage in idle gossip oh what are you talking about you're the one who blabbed it to deborra about chuch Cho chuski I do not blab what I do comes from Love And if you want to know the truth Deborah is the worst gossip of us all me you're the one who once told me that Frank came to bed with a toupe on for you what this is an outrage Marie that was a hat I found on the street oh really and what about what Deborah told Amy last July what Deborah told Amy that Raymond thought that Amy and Robert's marriage didn't have a chance in hell Marie who told you that Marie I told you that in confidence Amy how could you tell Marie that I said that deorah how could you tell Amy what I told you my marriage doesn't have a chance in hell girl [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Everybody Loves Raymond

Views: 308,365

Keywords:

Id: mrZqYaOCJMs

Length: 50min 44sec (3044 seconds)

Published: Fri May 17 2024