Okay, look. Spider-Man has dated around a whole lot and
I decided to take it upon myself to look through about six decades of comic books in order
to decode the massive web that is Peter Parker’s love life. Oh god. So in order to make this video not like an
hour long, we’re going to need to set up some ground rules because yeah, I’ve read
all of those same lists online and they are really not that good. It seems like they were written by some people
that read a few Wiki articles and called it a day. So here’s what we’ve have on the table. As always with this channel, I am ONLY going
to be talking about the mainstream Earth-616 continuity. Additionally, this is strictly going to focus
on women that Peter has had significant romances with in the comics, not just one off dates
or hookups. This means that no, I am not counting the
time that Peter went on a date with Carol Danvers or the time that he went on a date
with Sue Storm WHILE HE WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. This also doesn’t include women that Peter
shared a single kiss with or women that just have crushes on him. So that means no Liz Allen, Officer DeWolfe,
or Silver Sable. Finally, even if Peter and his partner don’t
explicitly call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m counting it if they spent a significant
amount of time together. I also reserve the right to mention love interests
that I just think are interesting because you know what? It's my video. I THINK this covers all of my bases so people
won’t go in my comments saying “Um actually!”, but who am I kidding? People are going to anyway. But before we get too far into things, I want
to give a big thank you to our sponsor for today’s video, Manscaped, and yeah, I can
probably go into detail about The Lawn Mower 2.0 or The Plow or their other amazing products. However, I really want to say that the Crop
Preserver ball deodorant is amazing because at the time of this recording, it is summer
in Texas and this has saved my nether regions on more than one occasion. I think that it maybe might not be much of
a coincidence that last time I promoted these guys, I had a girlfriend and now I have a
fiancée. So if you want to get in on this for yourself
go ahead and go to Manscaped.com and make sure you use the code COMICD20 at checkout
for 20% off. The Perfect Package 2.0 includes everything
that you saw here and it is definitely worth the investment. I am a big fan of these products and you’re
going to be hearing about them a lot more in the future on this channel, but anyway. Back to the video. Peter’s first girlfriend was Betty Brant,
a secretary at the Daily Bugle. They hit it off when Peter checked in on her
after the Vulture attacked the office and just LOOK at Peter’s swag here. The two dated for a good while, but Betty
started to get jealous of Liz Allen, Peter’s former crush who started to actually develop
feelings of her own for Parker. Despite Peter having moved on from his obsession
with Liz and repeatedly explaining to Betty that he wasn’t interested in her, Betty’s
jealousy ended up being too much and she broke up with Peter to start dating a Daily Bugle
reporter named Ned Leeds who she would eventually marry. Fun fact, Peter and Mary Jane (who I will
of course be talking about later in the video) were best man and maid of honor respectively
at Betty and Ned’s wedding. Anyway, it’s probably for the best that
Peter and Betty didn’t keep dating considering that Brant was really looking for a steady
guy who worked a good, non dangerous job. If they stayed together then Peter would never
be able to tell her that he was Spider-Man and keeping a secret that big is SUPER unhealthy
for a relationship. Yet, they stayed close friends well into adulthood. With Betty out of the picture, Peter was free
to date once again and now that he had moved on to college, this would be the perfect opportunity. On his first day of school, Peter’s Aunt
May got sick and was hospitalized. He was completely oblivious to the world around
him and his new classmates thought that he was stuck up as a result. This included a beautiful woman named Gwen
Stacy. However, Gwen saw this cold shoulder as a
challenge and frequently flopped between fawning over Peter and hating him. Now ever since high school, Aunt May kept
trying to set Peter up with their neighbor’s niece, Mary Jane Watson, but Peter kept avoiding
the meetup. For years, Mary Jane was a punchline in the
comics. She was just this unseen background character
until she finally showed up and delivered that iconic line. “Face it, tiger. You just hit the jackpot.” From here, Gwen and MJ would both casually
date Peter and his best friend / roommate, Harry Osborn, but over time, Mary Jane ended
up getting more serious with Harry and Parker did the same with Gwen. Sadly, Gwen’s father was killed after saving
a kid from rubble that fell during a fight between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus and
she briefly moved to London while she was in mourning. Now here’s where things get a little bit
tricky. In 2004, there was an infamous storyline called
Sins Past which added some really… weird stuff to this situation. See, it turns out that before leaving for
London, Gwen had actually hooked up with Harry Osborn’s father, Norman A.K.A. the Green
Goblin all while in the middle of dating Parker. Peter and Gwen specifically didn’t do the
deed, but yep, she and Gobby definitely did, with the act resulting in Gwen becoming pregnant
with twins that also had an accelerated growth rate due to Norman’s mutated genetics. Because comics. Gwen had the children while she lived abroad
and they were stolen by Norman, but the rest of that story is probably better saved for
another video. With all of that out of the way, Gwen moved
back to New York and resumed her relationship with Peter until she was tragically kidnapped
by Norman, now retconned to be after her because of the threat that she posed to him regarding
their children. This led to one of the most important moments
in all of Spider-Man’s history with Green Goblin tossing Gwen off of a bridge and Spidey
trying to save her, but because of a miscalculation, the sudden jolt of Gwen being grabbed by Spider-Man’s
webbing resulted in her neck being snapped. This tragedy stuck with Peter, but he grew
closer with Mary Jane who was there to comfort him during this trying time. Also going through a rough time was MJ’s
boyfriend, Harry, due to his father seemingly being killed during the same confrontation
with Spider-Man. Because of this, Harry became obsessed with
killing Spider-Man and as a result, pushed Mary Jane away which only brought her closer
to Peter. They finally got serious and Pete actually
proposed to her which she rejected. Yeah, the two of them have been pretty on
and off for years, especially since MJ couldn't always handle Parker's life as Spider-Man
which she had known about since before they even met so of course, we will be back. In between flings with Mary Jane, Peter dated
a woman named Cissy Ironwood who I'm sure you’ve never never heard of and for good
reason. She pretty much only existed to be some random
girl that Peter casually went out with only to get attacked by Doctor Strange who was
a werewolf at the time. Because comics. She showed up just a little bit more only
to ditch Parker in order to hit on The Beast who was visiting campus. Then there's Debra Whitman, a secretary at
the university when Peter was a teacher's assistant. She was instantly into Peter, but he was too
busy to really notice her. They did end up casually dating later, but
Peter was like the worst to her. He was constantly bailing on Deb because of
Spider-Man related activities, he wouldn’t use his newspaper contacts in order to help
her uncle who was being threatened, and Peter instantly forgot about her when he saw that
his new neighbor was hot. I mean look at this. “Oh, yeah. Got a date with Debbie. Deborah what’s-her-name. Whitman.” Dude, Deb was so good to Peter that he once
dropped by her apartment completely unannounced when he was in pain after a fight. Naturally, Debra let Peter stick around, nursed
him back to health, and even made him a big ass breakfast. Did Peter say thank you or even EAT the breakfast? NO! When Parker finally started to take notice
of Debra, it was too late because she was dating a jock named Biff Rifkin, a man with
the most jock sounding name imaginable. Even while she was dating Biff, Debra was
still super into Peter, but things got a bit complicated when she started to figure out
that he was Spider-Man, but her therapist wrote it off as schizophrenia. In an unusual approach, the therapist sought
out Peter and asked him to pretend to be Spider-Man so that he could reveal his identity to Debra,
hoping that this unorthodox shock therapy would snap her out of her "delusion". Although Parker initially refused, he came
around to the idea which… actually worked. This was also the push that Debra needed to
leave town and finally divorce her abusive husband back home, which yeah, it turns out
was also a thing that was going on in her life. We didn't see much more of Debra until Civil
War when Peter publicly revealed his identity, prompting her to write a book called “Two
Faced: How Peter Parker Ruined My Life”. Little harsh, but considering that the publisher
(owned by the Daily Bugle because of course it is) had her embellish the truth, but part
of me feels like canceling Peter is at least a LITTLE justified considering just how he
treated Deb. But hey, at least he never hit her like he
did Mary Jane that one time which YEAH, that actually happened. Now much more importantly of Parker's relationships
is Felecia Hardy A.K.A. Black Cat. She's a cat burglar who flirted and made out
with Spider-Man a bit, but not much else. However, after tussling a couple of times,
she promised to go straight, albeit after one last job. When that didn't work out, she decided to
be extra extra and exclaimed that she would rather die than go to jail. Bye, Felecia. Of course, this didn't stick and when Black
Cat finally came back around, she and Spider-Man started dating proper and even became crime
fighting partners. While all of this was going well, Felecia
made it very clear that she was attracted to Spider-Man and not Peter Parker. This was a big reversal of the normal problems
that his relationships brought, but it did end up being an issue though and the two broke
up as a result. Of course, Peter and Mary Jane are definitely
soulmates so they ended up getting back together, Peter proposed a second time, they got married,
almost had a kid when Mary Jane got pregnant, was poisoned, and had a stillbirth. Wow… that got really dark. Oh, but just you wait. It gets darker. See, MJ was seemingly killed in a plane explosion,
but in all actually, she was kidnapped by a stalker. Yep. Now during this time of apparent death, Peter
had another love interest. As Gwenpool would say “Remember that time
you dated Gwen Stacy’s cousin? Because I do! I remember all of that.” Jill Stacy moved to New York and became friends
with Peter and MJ, getting so close that she ended up actually becoming Mary Jane’s BEST
friend. Oh, and she canonically looks like Gwen Stacy,
but with black hair. There were some romantic hints with Peter,
but that was it. However, following MJ’s apparent death,
Jill started getting uncomfortably close with Peter, making some pretty obvious moves. Let me make this very clear. Jill Stacy started catching Peter, the ex-boyfriend
of her dead cousin, on the rebound when his wife seemingly died who also happened to be
her best friend. Now that is some soap opera level nonsense! Things never got too serious between them
since Peter was wrapped up with mourning his dead wife because yeah, of course, but once
Peter rescued MJ from her stalker, Jill basically vanished from comics as a whole, even though
Peter and Mary Jane separated immediately afterwards. Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship was all
over the place with it ultimately ending when they made a literal deal with the devil and
sold their marriage to the demon, Mephisto, in order to save a dying Aunt May in the infamous
storyline “One More Day”. Instantly following this new timeline, Peter
met a forensic scientist named Carlie Cooper, the best friend of Harry Osborn’s new girlfriend,
but as he was distracted by his newly ex-girlfriend via demon, Mary Jane, who was also at the
party, this didn’t go anywhere. I swear to god, this is going to be important
later since they do end up dating, but first, we need to take a really weird and complicated
detour. Okay so one of my favorite comic writers,
Jason Aaron, wrote this mini series about Spider-Man and Wolverine being hurled through
time after a group of bad guys were robbing Time Diamonds from a bank. Because comics. As a part of this, a woman named Sara Bailey,
one of the bank’s tellers, got mixed up in the time travel shenanigans as well. It’s not really dived into much since most
of the book revolves around Spidey and Wolverine’s dynamic, but when the three of them got trapped
in the old west, Peter and Sara ended up having a serious relationship, complete with that
classic act of carving their initials into a tree. Peter was actually going to propose to Sarah
with an inert Time Diamond, but it reactivated and sent everyone back to the beginning of
this whole time nonsense at the bank. After stopping the robbers, Peter wanted to
resume his relationship with Sara, but she didn’t remember anything that happened,
just Peter and Logan. Cut to a sad shot of Peter sitting against
the tree that he had carved into which was miraculously still standing years later and…
that’s all we heard about things. Kind of underwhelming, but this is still canon. Okay, back to Carlie. She and Peter officially start dating when
he asked her out… at a Halloween party while she was dressed as his ex-girlfriend, the
Black Cat. Honestly, their dynamic was really cute. She’s into roller derby and tries to teach
Peter, but because he needs to pretend to not have super powers, he intentionally fails
in a spectacular fashion. Oh, she also got drunk one time and got a
Spider-Man tattoo. During an event called Spider-Island, Carlie
ended up getting spider powers along with most of Manhattan and Peter even pretended
like he just got them as well. However, Carlie noticed that he was suspiciously
really good at using these powers and started to put two and two together. After everything went back to normal, Carlie
confronted Peter with this revelation and broke up with him on the spot for having lied
to her this entire time. Considering that his double life as Spider-Man
is why they broke up, that tattoo must be REALLY awkward. Yeah, so after this, Peter’s love life was
practically non-existent. Not like he’d have much time to date anyway
since he and his long time enemy, Doctor Octopus, swapped bodies. So yeah, this next relationship doesn’t
REALLY count since it wasn’t Peter’s consciousness, but people would get mad at me in the comments
if I didn't at least blaze through it super quick. Anna-Maria Marconi is a brilliant scientist
that Otto started dating when he enrolled back in college since he was pissed that Peter
had never gotten his doctorate. The two hit it off and had an obnoxiously
cute relationship to the point where Ock actually intended to propose to her. Of course, Peter eventually got his body back
and was immediately really bad at keeping his alter-ego a secret from Anna-Maria. Parker did come clean both about being Spider-Man
and the entire body swap thing so naturally, their relationship had to end since Anna-Maria
literally fell in love with a different person. To make things more complicated, Peter released
a woman named Cindy Moon from a bunker almost immediately after getting his body back. She was bitten by the same radioactive spider
as Peter and is a special Spider-Totem called “The Bride”. As a part of this, she and Peter have a compulsive
need to hook up whenever they're in the vicinity of each other which obviously made things
really awkward for Anna-Maria who was still living with Peter. Cindy ended up getting her own super persona,
Silk, and grew into a solid character in her solo books which basically had her strike
out on her own away from Peter and really, outside of being a spider character, she has
nothing to do with the Spider-Man series as a whole. Moving on, when Doc Ock was in charge of Peter’s
body, he created a company called Parker Industries. Well this ended up getting insanely successful
and the company went international. For a time, Peter was dating Lian Tang, an
engineer from Parker Industries Shanghai who helped design a super high tech Spider-Mobile. This was great and all until it was revealed
that Lian was also working for the terrorist organization, Zodiac, and was feeding them
information in exchange for cancer medication for her dying mother. When she was found out, Parker gave her a
second chance at the company, but obviously their relationship ended as quickly as it
started. Also working with Parker Industries was Bobbi
Morse A.K.A. Mockingbird who was the company’s liaison
to S.H.I.E.L.D. Peter eventually asked her out with ZERO game,
leading to Aunt May of all people having to step in. It’s crazy that throughout all of his history,
Mockingbird is like the only superhero that Spidey ever dated and it was actually pretty
cool that they occasionally fought crime together. When Parker Industries eventually shut down,
Bobbi let Peter crash at her place and even sleep in her infamous “Ask me about my feminist
agenda” shirt. Eventually though, Peter being a complete
loser got on Bobbi’s nerves and they broke up after realizing that they really had nothing
in common. Finally, I know this is kind of a low note
to end on, but this brings us to Rebecca London, a comedian that Spidey rescued who asked him
out by throwing her business card at him. Easily the best part of this is when Spider-Man
showed up to their date in his costume, but like with a suit jacket over it. There’s really not really much more to this
considering that Peter was busy with superhero stuff and Rebecca got a boyfriend in the meantime,
but I wanted you to see the double spider suit so you’re welcome. At the time of this recording, Peter and Mary
Jane are back to the status quo and are happily together and I REALLY hope that it sticks
because I do not want to have to make this video again after the literal weeks that I
have spent researching all of this nonsense. But if you liked this video then why not consider
subscribing, or even watching another one? And if you want to know about Peter’s web-shooters
(the actual ones, not a euphemism) then check out the video that I did all about them. I gave the same level of obsessive detail
in that as I did on this one. And also, I do want to give a big thank you
to the voice cast that I had on this video. It’s a lot better than me trying to pretend
to be multiple characters, especially ones that are different genders from me. I went ahead and gave all their credits down
there in the description below. But anyway, I hope you learned at least a
little something new, and hopefully, I’ll see you next time.
Just waiting for that comment about the thumbnail.